It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTYu44vUDB
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With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkL9UDeBaGM
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"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvLJrkYlAv
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"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyEG5ioOCX7
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The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWV9ANMsFJK
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"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCpdynLL4K
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"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwHvyZgNly
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The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtf3upnwYCr
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"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5Si0kVg2t
1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvQ3sWBel8
Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSi6bLj4PRC
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"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeehuvyaAIt
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"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5b93HitvB
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"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eeoE0vCSo
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"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzc51hPZQYf
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"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJts7qdu5o7
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"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMwtXzYJ4t
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We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaL9NNCCYMh
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Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBziu1EpGmJ
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"Kiss me?" 1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6D5t7bjEVG
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It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqNfaOVkYq
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2KcpbdUD8
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWQQHbus2l
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"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1017Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ32OqhKiLF
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.
