It was a VERY strong wind that day, and I absolutely swear to god that none of it was my fault. Seriously, guys. It was the WIND that knocked my umbrella into that dork's face. And his coffee fell too, rolling away. I explicitly articulated my most SINCEREST apologies and how I was just as much publicly humiliated as him.
"What is wrong with you-- I'm Gabe by the way--," he took my gloved hand to shake before returning to his nuclear meltdown. "--And what is wrong with you, coming out of nowhere, a ninja slash cat monkey assaulting my vulnerability, battering me to a pulp, leaving me struggling within in an inch of my life. I have asthma, you brute. Precious people like me die from wheezing. How dare you."
"I am MIRANDA," I shrug at Gabe. "Guess I am TOO MUCH of a woman for you."1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuw7b2S101q
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkStMsTKlzN
With the last word, I STRUT away. A minute later, it grew apparent he won't let that happen. He ran to my side, stammering and BLUBBERING like a fool.1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9hBjuA4JF
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkw1YD1cSo
"Now, just wait a gosh-darned second here!" Gabe raised a finger. I kept a straight face when inside I just wanted to LOL. "You still owe me coffee-- and for mangling my face-- who knows if I ever see you again."1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfva3C6vo7e
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOo7COzUiK
"I did not MANGLE your face! The wind did! Your face is not mangled, your face is perfectly FINE!" I huffed, realizing we stood outside the cafe. "I am being blackmailed and entrapped. I am not okay with it!"1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqlZJto5bb
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGmiNeUkWX3
The clouds roared back, and rain shattered. I fought with the umbrella.1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHmv13jb7y
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFt9Hw5fkn
"So it's a date!" Gabe shouted over the hysteria. 1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtqLuLVvhZ
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKxoy8fK4h
"NO. GOODBYE FOREVER." I stormed off into the storm, wrestling with the umbrella and the wind. It took until the stoplight when Gabe ran up at the moment the wind grew VERY strong again. I swear to god, it was NOT ME the first time and it was STILL not me the second time. SMACK.1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaaypqFLXu
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJiYhVifREY
The umbrella slapped Gabe ... again. I SHRIEKED in horror.1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86Qx0zjzFq
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZmFjMrt7o
"What is wrong with you-- ," Gabe said as the pedestrian sign lit up and chased me across the splashing street. "-- I think I'm bleeding! Am I bleeding? My poor mangled face. You may rob me of my coffee and my dignity but you can't get rid of me that easy, infernal murderess. A menace to society, I say! We are all in danger!"
"Then stay FAR away from me!" 1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdrOMv6BRP
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmwFUEKPhc
Gabe took my gloved hand, and at that moment our hair rose. White lightning struck -- shocking us both. We keeled over, tased and jolted in waves until it was over. We glanced at each other with fresh and cooked eyes. Smoke steamed from our bodies. Boots were knocked from our feet. We marveled that we were electrocuted and somehow miraculously survived. I nodded, "Okay... Coffee sounds good right now..."1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJp8sqOUxXG
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9UqT07GYaS
"So it's a date, Miranda," Gabe said, pleased. "That is spectacular."1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYTesy5g1k
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Ha8wtjLix
"It is NOT a date," I insisted. "This is strictly normal and boring. People get hit by lightning all the time, Gabe."1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAeDS5pBaY
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2WBO2QHpx
"And you're buying!" He pointed an accusing finger.1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1S5BwPO8yA
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImQ3A1EnQc
"No, if anything it is YOU who are buying," I bickered. 1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWQeynptAQ
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8dTHG8Qxl
"If I'm buying, ergo it's a date."1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2fTR1Xu3C
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4b8QQYlzQV
"NOPE. WRONG. Regardless of someone buying, it is NOT--"1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaydZzYgiYx
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeee7L976o
We got struck by white lightning twice and wound up in the hospital, in the same room, with a curtain drawn between us. We spent hours staring at the ceiling arguing whose fault it was and how awful the coffee were here.1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJigHY7DXX
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSPzQfsz4H
Then his voice stopped. I looked at the curtain, hearing a droning flatline. I tore the curtain back. He was off the machine, leaning in for a kiss.1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkIx9p1VIk
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX6XrKppbL1
"Kiss me?" 1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IYLLCbfDc
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlPyU8uflq
It was so OBVIOUS he was going to be my husband.1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjA8YN5XKh
So OBVIOUS he was going to be the father of my child.1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXpBBThFSd
Gabe. That sweet dork. How can I not love him? 1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7kadvzhd2
1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TIet6czcA
"No, you kiss me," I said. His eyes closed, as if to melt.
In our hospital gowns, we locked lips. And the rest?1042Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHma03NvLF
The rest was, as they say, a WEIRD love story.
