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Claire144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyks0wpt1Tj
I have a lot of hair...no wait, yeah, I have a lot of hair and I often hide behind it.
It's just who I am and always will be, a girl in the shadow of something. But it wasn't so bad. No one really questioned it and I never had to bring it up.144Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQXg3s9NGf
Thankfully high school—that awkward time people thought I was a deaf-mute, was over.
Although, I enjoyed not being the center of attention.
You see, I left home and never looked back. My dad wouldn't want that for me. He said living in a small town with big dreams was a complete impossibility. I had no choice. My mother, well, that's an entirely different story altogether.
She and I have never seen eye to eye. She always thought I was wasting my time chasing something that wasn't in the cards. How can she know that? I'll never explain her judgemental behavior. Not even a therapist can.
Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of my studio apartment, which I could barely afford as is, and took the express train to the nearest college in the city.
I needed a job, a real one. I had one to pay the bills but I'm reaching my breaking point with it. It's been lackluster and run its course. I deserve something better. Every struggling artist does.
San Francisco bay was particularly crisp this morning, I made sure to bundle my coat before trotting outside. The trains today were virtually empty and I was grateful.
I realized I needed to find a job soon or my struggle was only going to consume me. Pushing my deep brown bangs out of my eyes I checked my phone to see if the recording studio had been open today. It was, but I couldn't go.
I've been trying to save some extra money to afford an hour of recording session to make my first demo. I liked to think of it as layaway, one day I'll get my time in there like it was supposed to be. I know it might be a long shot until I finally get there, living from paycheck to paycheck, but anything's possible I guess.
I got off at the downtown exit near the university and walked over to the student café and bistro that was normally packed, but like the trains, it was fairly quiet. It felt more like a library. Score.
The usual baristas were serving the patrons. They sort of knew me by name, I was grateful for that.
I loved coming here, it made looking for a job less stressful. Definitely more personal.
Sometimes the occasional handsome guy breezed inside, ordering a simple black coffee, and reading the daily news. But then the bronze band on his ring finger revealed all I needed to know. It didn't always happen but I tend to see the best-looking, more sound men that were already taken. Just my luck.
Why am I still on this? Probably because I know it's never going to happen for me. That's right, I'm 27 years old, and I know my fate in having love in my life is sealed. I just know. You pass a certain age where it's just inevitable.
After ordering a tea latte and the paper, I took my usual seat near the corner of the place. It always smelled so nice here. It distracted me and I often let it. A couple of laptops were open, nothing much, and the decor was welcoming and warm.
I sipped my hot drink and dove inside the section I needed from the very massively bound Sunday paper. This felt like homework that I forced myself to do. I'd rather be somewhere else, doing something else. Maybe in some far-off reality, truly happy with the love of my life. I shook my head, this was ridiculous.
I grabbed my marker and circled some prospects, taking my phone to bookmark all the numbers and websites attached to each opportunity. None of them were particularly thrilling, but they were jobs, they weren't supposed to be.
If I could get a paid internship somewhere involving music, that'd be ideal. First things first, something to get by on so I'll survive. Guess that's all I've been doing lately.
My head turned as a couple just walked in, hand in hand. They looked like they had a lazy morning, laying in each other's arms, deciding to get their caffeine fix. He didn't tear his eyes away from her and I didn't blame him, she was beautiful. She was Princess Aurora come to life. Perfect golden hair, wide blue-green eyes, full lips, makeup on point, skin clear as the Maldives waters.
Of course, she had someone. The guy was an All-American blond, same eyes only bluer, like midnight blue. Strong hands and broad shoulders. Stocky and athletic, probably from playing soccer or football. But more than likely he is a swimmer, most blond guys swam or surfed around this town.
He bent down to reach her petite frame, kissing her briefly before they grabbed their drinks and sat opposite me. I stopped staring when I realized I had been, I hoped they didn't catch me, I can be quite nosy. Sighing, I turned my attention back to the homework in front of me.
I drank a long sip from my latte and checked the time. I definitely didn't want to stay too long.
There wasn't much to check here, I did most of the skimming and took down all the appropriate places that worked in my radius.
I finished my drink at the same time I closed the jobs section of the paper. I don't see any point in keeping the section. Standing up I placed the paper on the tiny kiosk counter where all the sugars and milk were. I really didn't wanna log around the newspaper when I had a full day ahead of me.
I threw away my to-go cup and grabbed some napkins before leaving.
I made it outside near the meters before I realized I forgot my phone. Rolling my eyes I turned around and found it sitting on the table I just was. Breathing a sigh of relief, I walked over and grabbed the device. I placed it back inside my purse and blew out a breath before making it back outside.
I found the crosswalk and waited for the signal. Bored from waiting, I fished out my phone and checked my emails, my anxiety mounting.
First I heard sounds, then I saw feet moving and joined the crowd walking across the long crosswalk.
I paused suddenly when my eyes expanded on one peculiarly sent email.
Benjamin and Shirley,
Proudly invite you to our wedding for memories and timeless love shared with close friends and family.
Date: September 21
RSVP
I scoffed, "As if I need more reminders that my life sucks."
I shook when I heard someone shouting at me.
"Look out!" Was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.
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