Shadow was zooming around teh world to find a secret and Chris was on his back cause he isn’t fast he’s a dumb idiot
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“Why are we looking for a secret, Shade?” Chris asks like a Thorndyke probably would.
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“Shut up. It’s important, like Jesus is… SIKE” Shadow said satanically while running to the secret he’s running to
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Chris is an atheist since he’s a loser so he doesnt care and plays cookie clicker.
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“I can’t believe you’re playing that cringecore boomer game in 2022, what’s next, are you going to go on Coolmathgames.com?” shadow said cause he hates fun games
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“Shut your mouth up you probably never even have played Run!” Chris said because he has played Run. It’s pretty fun but Run 3 was kind of bad and overcomplicated.
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“Kid.” Shadow stopped in his tracks leaving marks on the road and pulled out a marijuana cigarette to smoke “Im always playing Run.” Shadow started running while smoking marujana
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Chris is so inspired and amazed that he claps and then watches Majira Strawberry videos on his iPhoone.
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“Are you a cringe furbait Twitter zoomer? Unbelievable. Don’t make a move on me, gay ass.””
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“You are literally furry shut up.”
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“I am quilly, numb nuts.” Shadow punched Chris in the penouse
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Chris cries for 5 hours and then cries some more.
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“Are we theeeree yeeeet?”
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Shadow picked up Chris and reverse double nut-slammed him into the floor.
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“We are at the lab now, loser.” Shadow thought chris was a loser
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“Wow, this is all sorts of big and stuff! It looks like it has a big lazer shooter! Wow!” Chris thinks this is cool. Of course he does.
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“It really is beautiful. Shining, shimmering, splendid.” Shadow likes The Lion King.
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“Is there anybody in there?” Chris shouts at the lab. Chris likes Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon.
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“I only listen to real music, the kind your brain is too small to understand.” Shadow walked into the large lab. “Dear Maria, count me in.” Shadow likes Linkin Park.anything
Chris also walked in to the large lab
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“Wow this is pretty large and it’s a lab. What was made here in the lab?”
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“I was, I was born out of the butt of that test tube.” Shadow pointed at a big area where a test tube would be if he didn’t break it like MewTwo did in 1999’s Pokémon: The First Movie
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“Wow…” Chris says with great reverence, “I wish I was born from somewhere like there, that would be so crazy and cool!” Chris says and then trips over a wrench and falls and trips and hits the ground.
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“Yes, unfortunately you were born out of a fajina.” Shadow walked to the old computer and punched it so it would work. “There are records here that reveal big secrets that I’ll tell you about later because I don’t want to right now cause you suck ass”
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Author’s note: please excuse my spelling of fejina I just learned about childbirth in class yesterday
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“Yeah okay.” Chris said and started trying to read documents upside down.
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Suddenly eggfacemanguy crashed through the wall with his bigg egg carrier.
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“Oh yeah!” he screamed.
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“YOU!!!” Shadow hit the griddy over to Eggman. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU B*ST**D?!”
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“Oh my Lord…” Eggman says, “I’ve never heard words of such a level of obscenity…”
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Eggman starts crying but then remembers he likes Satan.
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“Shut up you fat frick” shadow kicked Eggman in the balls “why are you even here no one likes you”
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Eggman uses Rex-Kwon-Do to block the attack expertly.
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“I’m here to find all the files! And to find things to sell to pay off my extreme tax debt!”
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“I don’t pay off my tax debt, taxes are cringe.” Suddenly thunder hit but only the sound and specifically behind shadow and an explosion happened
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“I’m gonna stop you from getting all of those files with the information about things on them!”
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“Im gonna get all the files with the information about maria 2 but lame and male on them!”
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“Dear Maria, count me in” shadow kicked Eggman in the balls again and kicked him in his stupid nose “you have a stupid nose and balls”
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Eggman is pretty upset about that but he’s okay because he flies away into the lab and only cries for a little bit.
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Shadow the Hdgehog ran after Eggman and shot control at him with his chaos control powers
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Egg Man falls out of his Egg Carrier but then he makes a phone call. Suddenly the IRS rappells through the windows and pins Shadow down to the ground and violently thrash him, sending blood everywhere.
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Suddenly shadow’s back up that he called after last chapter appears and beats up all of the IRS
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“MAN I HATE TAXES! TAX THIS!” Spider-Man said and kicked the IRS guy in the balls
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“Thanks Spidey you’re the best” shadow gave Spider-Man a kick in the balls and Spider-Man left
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Chris eats popcorn in the corner that he found sitting in a moldy microwave and sees a file that says project thorndyke but he doesn’t care and accidentally drops it down a big pit so it doesn’t matter I don’t care anymore jesus christ whatever like what why should I care go kill yourself, now.
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Author’s note: I need a break
dork
NOOOOOO
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End of chaoter 6 NO NO NO ITS NOT OVER IT DIDNT END I SWEAR
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Author’s note: GABE TOOK MY OHOEN THAT STUPDI IDIOT I ATE EHIM SO MUCH HE ENDE D MY CHAPTER AND TOLD TNE REA DEER. TO KIL HIMSELF THAT LOSER
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Shadow watched Chris drop the file into a big pit, “No you stupid loser idiot!” Shadow ran to the pit “You dropped the file about you you stupid loser idiot I hate you!” Shadow kicked him (not in the balls, in the penouse)
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“Why would there be a folder about me? Thats silly, shadow, you’re silly.”
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“Because, Chris…” Shadow looked off at the sky dramatic,ly and walked over to an old tv with a VHS player. “Watch this, Chris, it will explain everything…” shadow hit play.
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“THATS WHY I FIGHT FOR YOU ALBUQUERQUE—“ Shadow changed the VHS tape, interrupting the old commercial. “Sorry, wrong tape.” He inserted a different tape, labeled “PRJKT THRNDYK #1” and pressed play on the VHS player.
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The VHS player whirred, the tape spinning and clicking into place. A man was sitting behind the camera in the lab that Shadow and Chris were in, freshly built, brand new.
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“This is Gerald Robotnik, I’m documenting the process of creating something.. Unprecedented. I’m building a human, from scratch, just small bits of DNA taken from my granddaughter, Maria.”
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“Hey, he looks kind of like my Grandpa!’ Chris says and looks innocently at Shadow.
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Shadow watched the tape, closing his eyes, a small tear running down his cheek from his shut eyelids, he crossed his arms and listened. He raised his head and looked at Chris, nodding. “Just watch, Chris.”
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“The project is in it’s early phases, I’m working on recreating a female egg at the moment, artificial, male-unneeded fertilization will be easy, but… I’ll need to look into this more. I need more time to make him just right.” Gerald got up, and walked to the camera. “Gerald Robotnik, August 1991, signing off.” Gerald turned off the camera, and the tape reached the end.
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“What did all that mean? It just seemed like regular boring science stuff to me.” Chris said confused, slouching back in an old chair.
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Shadow took a few steps towards a large, mildewy, cardboard box, sorting through VHS tapes stacked in towers inside. “Need a Will, Call McGill— No, that’s not it… Gerald always had issues with organizing and separating his lab work and the tapes of his lawyer…” Shadow pulled out another tape, inserting it into the player.
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“Gerald Robotnik, signing on, December 1991. Merry Christmas, future me, or whoever watches this. My granddaughter gifted me this tie,” Gerald grabbed his colorful tie. “I think I look dapper.” Gerald cleared his throat, and shifted in his office chair. “My boss gave me a new chair! It has wheels… I’m getting off track. Production of Project Thorndyke has been moving steadily, the egg is nearly done being created, I’ve hit a few roadblocks, but… Well, it’ll do for initial testing. It’s definitely better than the last experiment, Ivo is a disgusting creature.”
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“You could say that again.” Shadow kept watching the tape, muttering that under his breath.
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“Wait, did he say my name?” Chris said, sitting up, “I wasn’t even born in 1991! Guess it must have been another Thorndyke.”
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“I settled on Thorndyke due to the author, he was a forensic scientist, studied medical fields, I thought it sounded nice… A first name is hard. Depends on the sex of the child. I’ve figured out the fertilization process, without a hitch, as expected. I will update when the egg is completed and fertilized. Gerald Robotnik signing off.” Gerald hit the button on the camera again.
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Shadow sighed, grabbing the bridge between his eyes and snout. “This is taking too long to explain, but… You should see how it all happened.”
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Unload. Reload. Press Play.
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“Gerald Robotnik signing on, and fertilization went perfectly! I didn’t expect it to go that well, but dammit, here we are! The child is in the early stages of development…” Gerald picked up the camera, pointing it at a test tube full of aquamarine liquid. “Do you see the egg? It’s swimming in there in the womb-simulation tank. The same kind we have Project Shadow in currently, though his development is going far quicker. My granddaughter Maria has taken a liking to the baby hedgehog, certainly seems he has taken one to her. I hope they both enjoy this current project. I think I’ve settled on… Chris. I can tell this early on, he’ll be a male. I assume. But, I think Chris works. Christopher, but a bear might decide otherwise… That’s too long to say, anyway.” Gerald chuckled, and sat the camera back down. “My cohorts have called me mad for creating a human life in a test tube, but once I turn that back on them for allowing me to create Shadow… Everyone turns a blind eye. Ironic. All life is sacred, as long as it’s human.” The camera stopped, and the VHS tape reached a seemingly early end.
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“Chris?” Chris says shocked, slowly rising out of his chair, “But then… and he looks like my grandfather…”198Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOaSN6VWZc
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Chris turns to Shadow apprehensively.
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“What is this all about?” Chris shouts, “I have a mother and a father, I wasn’t engineered in a lab! I have a whole life!”
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“That’s what I thought! But… Damn it all!” Shadow ripped out the VHS tape, throwing it to the side, tears building up in his eyes. “Maria…” He shoved in another tape, labeled “PRJKT THRNDYK” with an incoherent scribbled out number.
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“Gerald Robotnik. April… 3rd, 1992… Is that correct?” Gerald’s hair was growing out and turning gray. “Eh, who cares. Chris has… Been born. A full child. Out of a test tube. I was hoping to raise him here on this ship, but… It seems like that isn’t allowed. All life is sacred, isn’t it? I said in my last tape that it’s sacred, as long as it’s a human’s. Apparently GUN disagrees on both fronts. My darling granddaughter…” Gerald began to sob in his hands, the tape continuing for a minute with him empty with his tears, Shadow’s reflection in the CRT screen staring back at him. “Maria, GUN… Slaughtered my darling Maria. So I understand what I have to do. I cannot raise Chris Thorndyke here, so I’ll find a way to save him. And myself. A colleague of mine, looks remarkably similar, a Doctor James Sunderland, told me he’ll take my place as long as I save the boy. So I will.” Gerald was interrupted by the sounds of a crying baby, and he walked towards a crib, taking Chris into frame. “He’s so beautiful, just like Maria was on the day of her birth… I’m… Going to miss my life on this ship. But the people here have proven themselves to not be worthy of my remorse. I’ve found a nice suburb, just me and Chris… I’ll tell him his parents don’t come around. I’ll find an excuse out of it. I’ll be his grandfather, just like I was Maria’s. GUN can take away my Maria, but they’ll have to try rather hard to steal my Chris. Since she perished, I figured it out… The Ultimate Creation, the secret to immortality, all locked within this child. If they shoot him dead, he’ll perk back up, skin hard as rock. Infect him with a virus, the vaccine will ravage through his veins on instinct. You can kill him, but it’ll take more than killing Chris Thorndyke to kill Chris Thorndyke. This is Gerald Thorndyke, signing off.” Gerald leaned towards the camera and turned it off, the tape reaching its end.
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“Do you get it yet? Are you too dense to understand any of what we just watched, or do you finally get it, Chris?” Shadow looked over at Chris, an angry scowl covering his face.
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Chills shot up Chris’s spine, and he found himself paralyzed in his chair. It seemed inconceivable to him that his entire life had been one big lie made up by his grandpa… or at least who he thought was his grandpa, and yet the evidence had just played right in front of his eyes, impossible to deny.
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“Congratulations, Chris Thorndyke… You’re nothing. You’re an artificial creature. You were built to be the cure to an illness that is inevitable… You’re the one thing I was meant to protect, instead of destroy… And…” Shadow walked to the screen of the TV, putting a hand against the warm glass. “Maria would want me to follow up on my purpose.”
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End of Chapter 6.
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Author’s Note: sorry if I misspelled anything
ns 15.158.61.6da2
