媽媽比殷書賢嚇窒,一句嘢都講唔出口,殷書賢喺呢一刻只想一口氣講出自己嘅心聲、自己嘅壓力,呢啲事其實已經壓抑咗好耐,只係媽媽唔知道⋯218Please respect copyright.PENANAnilQNmFL6t
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「咁你有冇諗過媽媽嘅想法?媽媽係為你好,你想讀醫,媽媽有冇唔支持你?」媽媽望住眼前令佢覺得陌生嘅兒子,不禁紅了眼眶問道,「你嘅夢想我有冇反對?你話我知我有冇!」218Please respect copyright.PENANAMOuqGSaUSA
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「唔係我想讀醫,係你要我讀醫!」殷書賢大聲地講道,雙眼一下子就紅起嚟,然後一聲冷笑,「我冇夢想呢啲嘢!你讀唔到醫,就要我去讀,周圍同人講話你個仔第時要做醫生,係你想咋!根本就唔係我想!」218Please respect copyright.PENANA2cEyq4vqlU
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「我為你好有錯?」媽媽亦紅了眼眶,面對殷書賢嘅「任性」,媽媽只覺得傷心,「有邊個做阿媽嘅唔想仔女好?我為你好我有錯咩?你做仔嘅有冇考慮下我呢個媽媽嘅感受?」218Please respect copyright.PENANAT68KwcmW8g
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「我唔考慮你嘅感受嘅話,我咁勤力做咩?」殷書賢不禁冷笑,反問媽媽,「努力考咩第一?讀咩醫?」218Please respect copyright.PENANAdym8QLomP3
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「你讀書又唔係為咗我!你係為你自己讀書,讀到幾多係你自己嘅嘢!」媽媽講出令殷書賢不解嘅說話,「你努力讀書應該要為自己嘅理想為自己嘅夢想,唔係為我!」218Please respect copyright.PENANAhtHzbCLzbN
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「哈⋯你點解講得咁矛盾?」殷書賢冷笑一下平靜地問道,「要我為自己讀書,但一直要我考醫科嘅人係你;要我放鬆唔好有壓力,但比最大壓力我嘅人係你;要我為理想為夢想去行,但令我冇夢想呢個選擇嘅人,唔係媽媽你咩⋯?」218Please respect copyright.PENANAID4GpslE6k
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媽媽一時語塞,佢都冇諗過,喺殷書賢嘅內心其實係收起咗咁多嘢;佢眼中一直乖巧本事嘅兒子,今日居然會用呢種態度同佢講嘢,佢好心痛又好失望218Please respect copyright.PENANALFJasfBtPZ
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「我努力讀書嘅目的除咗係為咗要考第一,咪就係去讀嗰個你想我讀嘅醫科⋯」殷書賢咬緊牙關,握緊拳頭,令自己平靜咁講出佢嘅心底話,「你個仔冇咗讀書冇咗成績咩都唔係,考唔到第一就係一事無成,呢個就係令你自豪,可以周圍炫耀嘅仔⋯!」218Please respect copyright.PENANATOCy4vN65z
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「你唔想讀醫可以同我講呀!點解你咩都唔講然後就怪我?」媽媽不解咁反問,眼淚一直湧出嚟,佢感覺好心痛,「你咩都唔同媽媽講,媽媽會知咩?你係一開始就唔想嘅話,媽媽一定聽你講、一定比你揀⋯!」218Please respect copyright.PENANAdnRq2cdjIc
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父母總會喺子女反抗嘅時候以「我係為你好」做理由,但一轉眼又會怪責子女唔比機會佢地了解,唔願意講出心底話218Please respect copyright.PENANAMlyfHSJUfV
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但有幾多父母會真係反思自己嘅行為係唔係令子女建起圍牆嘅原因?218Please respect copyright.PENANA37VYWQlBy2
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「講?講啲咩呀?揀?揀咩呀?揀中大醫學院定港大醫學院?」殷書賢聽完之後又不禁冷笑,以冷笑壓抑心中想一湧而出嘅所有感覺,「你比我嘅選擇就係咁,我一定要按你想要嘅路去行,我只係講一講讀Chem都可以有出路,你即刻就反對我啦!咁樣叫比我揀咩?」218Please respect copyright.PENANAXdpZQAKbls
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殷書嘅簡直覺得身心俱疲,佢唔係討厭讀書,唔係討厭考第一嘅嗰種榮譽感覺,只係佢討厭成日被人用嚟炫耀嘅資本,討厭身邊有日不厭其煩咁提醒佢,討厭有人要求佢一定必須要做到218Please respect copyright.PENANADNnucI2zbH
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殷書賢一口氣咁講晒佢想講嘅嘢,喺媽媽要開口之際,殷書賢即刻吸一口氣又開口打斷媽媽想講嘢嘅打算:「點解唔同你講,話我以前都唔係咁⋯點解你要問我而唔係諗下我每次同你分享之後你點答我?」218Please respect copyright.PENANAsiUMfpstgS
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「你唔講嘅話唔通我可以逼你開口講咩?」媽媽卻反問殷書賢,「你唔想分享,唔通我一直問你逼你講咩?」218Please respect copyright.PENANAO0zLCQ2R1P
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「唔係我冇分享欲,係你地唔想聽啫⋯」殷書賢淡然咁講咗一句,「你地想聽嘅,唔會係我今日喺學校發生咗咩事,而係我邊科又考到第一,邊科又考得好好⋯」218Please respect copyright.PENANARLmYTv71mL
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媽媽同殷書賢四目相對,爸爸喺一邊完全出唔到聲,媽媽比殷書賢駁到開唔到口講一句,可能因為殷書賢咁樣一講之後,媽媽先發現自己一直以嚟係點樣面對殷書賢對佢嘅分享欲,連殷書賢自己都唔太記得上一次好開心咁同爸爸媽媽分享日常係幾時嘅事218Please respect copyright.PENANA36ogolKsap
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「我同個讀書機械人有咩分別?我考得好係理所當然,你有冇讚過我一句?冇⋯你下下都覺得係應該、係理所當然,考得第二就比你捉住講捉大半年!」殷書賢內心嘅石頭壓到佢難以呼吸,胸口起伏都變得好困難,講出媽媽一直對佢講嘅說話:「你有冇努力㗎?有冇聽書㗎?點解會考咗個第二番嚟?你考個第二番嚟有咩用?你每次都淨係識講呢啲嘢嚟打擊我⋯」218Please respect copyright.PENANAJzG9fdpQEn
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殷書賢將外套嘅衫袖一下子推起伸出自己嘅左手遞比媽媽睇,媽媽望住殷書賢傷痕累累嘅左手就覺得心揪住痛218Please respect copyright.PENANA6r8rIvvpWc
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「大家眼中嘅學霸、令父母驕傲嘅仔,就係一個用呢種習慣去解決壓力。」殷書賢望住自己嘅手冷笑道,佢將手垂低同時,冷笑變成苦笑,「因為想要達到你地要求我嘅期望,我先要咁努力咁努力去做⋯你地呢?有冇睇到我嘅努力?你地只係覺得⋯一切都係理所當然⋯」218Please respect copyright.PENANAu0H7aU33dG
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媽媽每次講嘅每一句說話對佢嚟講就好似一個枷鎖一樣⋯係一份重擔,好沉重,但難以擺脫218Please respect copyright.PENANAoe9p956JkC
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「唔通,我地會害你咩?媽媽會害你咩?爸爸見到你咁樣會唔難過咩?」爸爸終於開口講一句218Please respect copyright.PENANAP4e2jsGJeJ
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「冇人會害我,只係一邊講「我地冇比壓力你」但又一邊比好大好大嘅壓力我,壓到我都透唔到氣⋯」殷書賢平靜地、一字一句咁講清楚,但語氣格外冷淡218Please respect copyright.PENANAlANmoCTMQc
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喺殷書賢講出呢句說話之後,客廳內寂靜一片,只有呼吸嘅聲音傳嚟;爸爸媽媽搵唔到理由去反駁殷書賢,媽媽坐低喺梳化,殷書賢轉身行番入房,爸爸默默咁望住成件事嘅發生218Please respect copyright.PENANAeLoCq9AfEa
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殷書賢坐番喺書枱前,手上又一次拎住鎅刀⋯218Please respect copyright.PENANAHY5YhM06sn
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IG Link: https://www.instagram.com/nd_cotttoncandy/?hl=zh-tw218Please respect copyright.PENANAkXPJUYzf5Y