Hae-Won was what I aspired to be.
Strong, smart, and someone who knew how to laugh like how a Fearless Leader should.
She knew when she needed to pull on each of her strengths.
Walking to the hotsprings after another exhausting day of being poisoned and burned took it out of her.
We sweated through the chemicals coating our skin, and panted in the fumes bubbling along our throats with every breath.
We didn't have much time. We needed to soak off the chemicals before doubling back to head in the opposite direction to the markets.
The long distance was the reason we normally didn't take the trek to the springs up in the hills.
We simply didn't have enough time. It was already starting to darken as the sun gradually made its way behind the land.
The sky was a painting of red, blue, purple, and orange when we both dragged ourselves up the last of the rocky slope and stood over the boiling, steaming water.
I stripped first and folded my clothes to place on a rock beside the spring so Hae-Won could have some privacy.
With my back turned, I only felt her throw something into the water that bobbed up beside me.
"A... potato?" I chuckled when I picked it up.
There was another that bobbed beside it before I heard the water reacting to Hae-Won slipping in.
She placed a hand on my shoulder and let three more float.
"I'm sure they won't miss a few of them" she grinned cheekily when they floated around us, bubbling away in the springs we rested against "greedy people wouldn't even know what was missing of we took it directly off thier table. It's no wonder the Fearless Leader is so fat."
I smiled at her.
There were no fat Koreans here. Across the country, everyone was living hand to mouth. Fatness was a sign of wealth, and wealth just didn't exist here amongst those living in the fumes and dirt.
These raw potatoes would take a while to boil in the spring here. It would give us time to soak, but would probably leave us no time for the markets for Hae-Won's newest movie, or my hunt for another cheap crate to furnish my home with.
With today's measly takings, we could probably afford one bag of rice if we combined our funds. Then the mission to cook it would be next.
Usually, we lumped it into a slip of cloth and boiled it in the spring too, but we had no cloth left that wasn't coming from what we were wearing.
A rice cooker would be nice.
"Dreaming again?" Had-Won nudged me with her elbow.
"Only of what could be."
She slumped against the rock next to me and sighed.
"If we are doing that, I would like to grow wings" she mused with a stare at the sunset "so I can fly from this spring and back home."
"Not away from here?"
"Oh, no" she waved her hand with a small laugh "and leave you here? I couldn't do that! And if I did leave, where would I go? I don't know anything beyond those fields and the walls!"
I understood the pain behind her smile that slowly faded.
We both were alone in this world.
We both had chosen not to have children to endure the struggles we were going through.
Hae-Won literally lived in the dirt, and I didn't trust anyone enough to form that sort of connection.
We were all eyes and mouths for the Fearless Leader. What was to say my own partner wouldn't sell me out for the right price, or rat me to the officials when I spilled my secret hate for our Fearless Leader to her?
No. I wasn't going to do that. I could only trust myself and Hae-Won.
When she was gone, it would just be me and my thoughts.
I'd have to get her a nice movie. She deserved that just for taking what precious time she had left to spend it tearing open her skin and drowning in Rain every day beside me.
Maybe one with that blonde actress she loved so much? The one who wore pearls and spoke in a language both of us didn't understand.
There was not much discussion between us as we washed and prodded at the potatoes boiling away beside us. When they were finally done, the first stars were sparkling into the sky, and the air above the waters was turning bitter.
We ate the spoils of our labour and savored the hot meal. Two and a half potatoes between us was better than spending our time trying to find scraps in the market or stealing our way to a good meal.
I had done that when I was younger and had been caught. The panic of it all was not something I was going to put myself through again anytime soon.
Tommorow, we could probably go for three each now that I knew Hae-Won was stashing them in the folds of her clothes.
We couldn't be caught. That would be worse than any chase through a crowded market.
I could feel the fear tighten in my chest.
So many damn eyes everywhere. It would be so easy to be somewhere, anywhere else; somewhere like the perfect white homes and grass lawns in Hae-Won's movies.
We didn't have much time. 129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQebTKwkJYS
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDnMXsRYMk
If I wanted to feed her fantasy, I had to get going.
"Enjoy yourself" I smiled with a glance to her confused face as I started to wade for the edge of the spring "I've got some things to do before it gets too late."
"I'll see you tommorow?" she called out when I shook myself off and swiped off as much water as I could.
My clothes will be damp again. I'll have to sit in the nude again tonight to let them dry when I get back.
"Don't cook too long or you'll prune up!" I called out when I slipped on my clothes and cringed at how moist they were on my skin.
"I'm already there!" she lifted a hand out to laugh with me as I made my way back down the mountainside.
The trip was easier with the strain soaked from my bones. But the damp clothes soon froze to my skin from the cold night air. All warmth retreated to the middle of my chest that heaved in each chilling breath shivering through me.
From one extreme to the other. Everything about this place was unforgiving.
I followed the dirt pathway dug through the middle of the surrounding fields. It passed the ones I dug in and manouvered onwards to more walled fields void of workers until tommorow.
If they could, we would be working through the night. But having people cutting off thier fingers and toes in the dark, and dropping from exhaustion didn't improve productivity.
Simply put, we were not machines. No-one could afford them, so we were thier only way.
The market entrance itself was wedged between shop-fronts. Down the wall of the local butcher and the hairdresser was the market. 129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59HG5ZMijC
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeWRqvxooi
I could see the purple and pink lights of the nearby stalls twinkling through. The sounds of hundreds of conversations buzzed through the air, accompanied by the sizzling and cutting of meat being screamed to the passer-bys by others eager for a sale to feed themselves.
I wedged myself down the brick walls to the markets. They were worn down from years of use by others doing the same thing.
The gleaming shop-fronts were thier own wall that covered the desperation of the markets just behind them. There was an official opening under an archway blocked by wooden doors, but the gaps were what people relied on.
Being seen going into the market by the wrong person could be disastrous. And in a place fighting itself, secrecy was the key to staying alive.
It was an overload for the senses in here.
Each side had stores shoved side to side. Makeshift gazebos were wedged next to crumbling buildings long forgotten, only to become the place for some sweaty person hanging dead ducks in the window.
Legit retailers all had thier dark side hustle. They advertised thier wares while slipping secrets out the back doors.
The only way to live here was those secrets. Anything not dictated by the Fearless Leader was not favoured, and was deemed illegal to possess.
I just wanted the USB's the noodle vendor kept out the back. Mrs Park was aged like Hae-Won and even shared the same last name. Both women had an unspoken bond that I had been lucky to be part of by association. 129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XFmr8xhW8
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXrpLj5DlF
Mrs Park had the skin of a woman who didn't toll fields for a living. She certaintly struggled, but didn't drop low enough to lose her tiny one room apartment crammed in the towering buildings closer to the heart of town.
Her smile was wide when she saw me pry between the crowds for her stall. 129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLCQT3MoMe
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv5CQ1WquN
Packets of noodles laid on the tables boxing her in. More boxes built up their own walls underneath and served as surfaces for advertisement. 129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIi2iLDUdpG
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca6Tufd4bE
Bags of rice were propped up on crates behind Mrs Park. They were her valuable assets, not the noodles presented under the noses of eager buyers.
The portrait of the Fearless Leader smiled over us from behind her. Her neighbour's had the same positioning over thier heads.
He was a God here. They had a fake front to uphold under his eyes.
"Good to see you, Beom-Seok!" Mrs Park grinned as she took money and stashed it in her fanny bag "working hard?"
"As always, Mrs Park" I smiled back at her, wedging closer to pretend to be interested in her noodles "I heard you have something delicious in today."
"Oh! Do I ever!" she wagged a finger without missing a beat, shuffling to her crates to rummage within them.
She pulled out three packets of noodles in cups, tapping the lids with a chipped nail. 129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0tINKwmBj
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2CdY2OIjs
She had to be careful. You couldn't trust anyone here, not even ones you shared space with.
"This one is Soy Sauce flavoured" she tapped the first with a twinkle of her eye "shallots and a sprinkle of suger go well with this."
Soy Sauce. That was her code-word for action. Shallots meant it involved the cliche working man the woman main doted over. Suger was a sex-scene.
"What else?"
"Kimchi" she tapped the second "A few drops of lemon, some tofu."
A forbidden romance. Lemon was a wandering eye, tofu meant the main was a man.
"The last is very special" Mrs Park grinned "Sweet Corn. Very exotic. It's very nice with beef and boiling water."
Another romance. Beef was a woman caught between two men. Boiling water meant it was classic drama; broody and full of soppy material.
Urgh. Hae-Won would love it.
"I'll take the sweet corn" I mumbled back and dug for the coins in my pockets to hand over. Mrs Park looked at the amount and shook her palm.
"This is exotic" she emphasised "not an easy flavour to come by."
"How much?"
"Thirty."
"Th..." I choked on my word as I lowed my voice and leant in "Thirty?! Eun-Jeong! I have to work three days for that!"
"I'm sorry" she whispered back "but it's exotic."
And it's what Hae-Won would want. She loved the ones with foreign songs.
Damn it.
"Does it come with a flavour packet?"
A flavour packet was subtitles; I needed those subtitles. I wasn't sitting through another movie trying to guess why the woman was happy one moment and sobbing on her bed the next.
"It comes with one."
Jeez. It'd be the actress Hae-Won doted over for sure. She only starred in quality films.
"I'll take the sweet corn then" I grumbled back and dropped more coins into her palm. I only had five dollars left to my name.
It would take forever to build back up my money to something comfortable enough to afford proper food.
Mrs Park smiled as she bagged up my noodle cup and threw in an extra sleeve from the table in front of me.
"Stay safe" she smiled warmly as she stuffed the money into her fanny bag.
"You too, Mrs Park" I smiled back through the sting of my pride.
It was such a smart way to stash the USB in plain sight.
Noodle cups already had a gap at the bottom to fool people into believing they were fuller than normal. Mrs Park just took advantage if that marketing strategy to hide USB movies in the bottom of the cups under the dry noodle pucks themselves. 129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsz4DnZhav
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadmTgjW1a9
She even resealed them herself carefully with hot glue. The burns on the insides of her fingers some days proved that.
To anyone, it looked like an ordinary cup. It was a foolproof way to sneak something straight home. If I was stopped, who would suspect the broke guy with a bag of noodles?
Well, at least I had a nice snack. Even without water, the dry noodles and crunchy packet flavoring were a wonderful burn in my throat.
I found Hae-Won back under her pallet when I finally arrived back. Without a word I passed her the partially eaten noodle puck for her to crunch on as she dug out a red USB from underneath.
Hae-Won was the only one between us who had an old laptop.
Internet was regulated here and none was publicly available, so it was a glorified paperweight that sat in its ripped plastic bag lightly buried beside where Hae-Won slept.
She only bought it out for her movies to conserve the battery. If it did run out, Mrs Park was often kind enough to recharge it for her by leeching power from another store; for a fee of course.
I wedged in under the pallet and made sure the volume was turned off. Hae-Won was shaking with joy as she plugged in the USB and eagerly opened up her movie. She balanced the laptop on her knees so we could both watch the brands of the companies introduce the movie and its scrolling text in the bottom of the screen.
"Blondie!" Hae-Won squealled between her teeth when the woman appeared on the screen "Oh, Beom-Seok, thank you!"
Neither of us knew the name of this famous actress Hae-Won loved. To us, she was Blondie, because of her signature light hair and pearl necklace.
She was georgous. Flawless skin, tall, and with beautiful hair curled at the ends that rested on her shoulders. She always wore such extravagant dresses and exotic-coloured lipstick. Her eyelashes made her brown eyes look sweet and innocent. 129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgfM9XYvhsy
129Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAnfnJsK6a
I could see why Hae-Won wanted to be just like her.
Blondie was a delightful distraction from the properganda surrounding us. She swooned her way into the hearts of men and sang her silent songs to make all her sadness dissappear.
One day, we would hear them.
Then, she danced for the joy of a beautiful morning and the surrounding flowers.
She spun so elegantly and waved to strangers when she ran through whispering flower fields that ran along the hem of her frilled dress. Even her tiny fingers picked them so gently to admire thier beauty as she sang with perfect pitch.
So beautiful. She even had freckles across her nose. I never noticed that before.
And she wasn't singing about how great our Leader was. She didn't love him or his regime, she only loved how warm it was and how the flowers bloomed around her.
Hae-Won was mesmerized. Her smile was plastered on her face and her eyes were misty with awe. I could see she was picturing herself as Blondie, dancing through the fields of flowers in the fresh breeze. Blondie even held onto a scarecrow someone had made to pretend it was a partner she longed for.
"Hae-Won" I offered her my hand "shall I have this dance?"
She looked up to me in surprise.
"Come on" I urged "through the flower fields?"
She chuckled at my reference and sat the laptop down so she could crawl out with me. I turned it towards us, rewinding it back to the start of her dance and checking the area before flipping on the volume.
"Beom-Seok!"
"There's no-one around" I reassured her seized body against mine "i'll make sure no-one heard it, OK?"
She scanned the area and nodded slowly before letting me lead her out to the field so we could watch Blondie on her rediscovered journey to the scarecrow.
"You ready?"
Hae-Won shivered with anticipation.
Blondie grabbed the scarecrow and I mimicked the envisioned movements of it while Hae-Won took the place of Blondie herself, like she dreamed of.
She didn't move as gracefully or easily as she did, but the smile on her face as she shuffled along to the sweet song made me beam inside.
She was having the time of her life and I wasn't going to be the one to snatch that sliver of happiness away.
This could get us sent to a camp, or killed. Maybe even publically humiliated before both.
But, for now, it was just us and the song of sweet nothings as we danced together in the dark.
ns 15.158.61.7da2
