Three wishes.
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, if everything goes to plan, a lot. I had to pick my target carefully, but eventually I decided upon a young human woman named ‘Samantha’ which I thought was an odd name. But would it work? How much destruction can one human cause? I need it to be a lot, I need to win.
The competition rules go as follows:
Any magical being may enter (once and only once)
Three wishes (and three only) must be granted to a non-magical being, who will not possess any shred of knowledge of the competition AT ALL.
You must select your target carefully as you must attempt to influence their decisions.
All wishes must be decided upon by the subject with no intervention.
Whoever’s subject manages to cause the most damage to their respective world will be the winner.
The being who granted the winning subject’s wishes will receive their uncle’s weight in gold.
It wasn’t the first competition of it’s sort, the government liked to turn destruction into a sport to encourage the extinction of non-magical beings. I must win, I need that gold badly if I am to be saved from oblivion.
After much deliberation, I decided to go with a human subject, as they are lesser-known creatures; they are an insignificant species, however extremely prone to destruction. I descended to their dimension a short while ago, and began to look for anger and sadness. I found many unhappy humans, the majority in fact had waves of red and blue rippling around them. I chose a young woman whose anger was a dark crimson colour, and whose sadness smelled like sea salt. I’m next to her now, as I’m beginning this account. I think that she can sense me here, she looks uneasy, and she’s shivering. She adjusts the bag she has strapped to her back.
It's getting darker here, but the light is still blinding compared to what I’m used to in my void. Only one sun sinks below the horizon, and the subject appears to be becoming anxious, fidgeting with her hands and her coat.
What is interesting to note here is the difference between our perceptions of time. Demons like me view human days as mere seconds, so when the taxi arrived it felt to me like we hadn’t waited for any time at all, whereas she seemed relieved as if it had been longer than it was. Right now she is opening the door and clambering inside.
Perhaps I should consider getting in with her? But the idea of attempting to pack my vast consciousness into a tiny metal box is grossly unappealing to me. I’ll simply follow the car.
Gliding through the air above her, I see plants of all shapes and sizes and many buildings; it’s quite beautiful here in a funny sort of way, which can only mean lots of destructive potential…
We’ve arrived, I believe, at some sort of group living area where humans can stay for a while then leave. She hands over some sort of currency to another human behind a desk, fidgets (yet again) this time with a strap on her bag, before climbing some stairs that I simply float up.
The subject is repeatedly casting glances around her. I believe she really can sense me here, which is astonishing to me as hardly any non-magical beings can; maybe humans are more special than I thought. Hah, as if.
She unlocks a door along a hallway of identical doors and steps inside.
I decide I will give her some privacy, because with my understanding of human traditions it is considered rude to watch someone change, and I don't want to make a bad first impression. Anyway, there's something I need to do.
Steadying myself, I begin the very painful process of disguise. A piece of me becomes what roughly resembles a head as another piece joins into it to make a neck. Stabbing pain spreads all across my new body. I am continuing to create this new form for myself as I hear a odd sound.
The sound continues even as I admire my reflection is a window; I now look almost human except my skin is a light shade of blue and I had not been able to grow hair anywhere on my body. Thank the darkness I hadn't been able to, that stuff is utterly disgusting.
The noise is starting to annoy me, it almost sounds like wet gasps for air. Ah! Perhaps this is human 'crying'. This means that the subject is upset! Fantastic! Now is the perfect time for me to make my entrance.
I knock politely on her door, and the sounds suddenly cease. I hear muffled footsteps, then the door in front of me swings open.
We are staring at each other. Is she going to say something? Is she gonna- oh, she's closed the door. Great.
Have I ruined this? Have I lost my chance at the gold? Has she- Oh. She's opening the door again. She's looking at me.
"You're blue." She states.
Hm. Not sure how to reply to that.
"Uhmm, I am blue." I reply in their strange human lingo. I must've been screwing up my new face slightly as I spoke, because she is making a strange face. Maybe she's just surprised to see me?
"May I come in?" I speak. Oh no, I forgot that human thing I read about - smiling. Forcing the sides of my mouth up, I bare my teeth at her.
Oh dear. She's closed the door again.
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I might need a different approach. Gathering myself, and abandoning my 'smile', I walk through her closed door. The subject begins making a strange loud noise, almost like a super long, super loud squeal, while pulling a very odd facial expression.
The noise is still going.
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I think this is called a 'scream'.
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She is still screaming. Is this something all humans do? I don't like it much; my new ears are hurting.
. "Samantha?" I try after she has mostly quieted.
The subject is standing dead ahead of me, staring at me. Can humans see into souls? I can't remember! Why didn't I check this first, my whole plan could be ruined!
"Are you... What are you?" She speaks now, slowly, without moving her eyes.
"I, my dear, am a genie of course! You've been randomly selected to receive three wishes, no judgement!" Hah. 'No judgment', as if the whole point of this wasn't the judging of the competition.
"A... a genie?" She whispers.
"Why yes, and you, Samantha, have been selected!"
"S...selected?"
How long was it going to take for her to get this? I stare at her, waiting.
The subject clears her throat and seems to attempt to pull herself together, "Genies aren't real." She states.
Really? Are humans this closed-minded? I know I'm not a real genie, but seriously?
Note: Humans are so stubborn that they have the ability to disbelieve what is presented right in front of them.
"I'm afraid I am most definitely real, my dear." I reply. Something tugs at the corners of my lips. Am I smiling?
"No, you're not, this is a prank, and IT'S NOT FUNNY!" She screams at me.
I don't have a clue what a 'prank' but I plaster on a fake smile and say, "No, not a prank."
"Do magic then! Prove it!" She demands. This annoys me greatly; a human should not tell ME what to do! But I must keep my cover to keep my precious gold, and so I plaster a fake smile onto my fake face.
I'm levitating about a metre off the ground now. She is gaping at me, clearly having not expecting me to 'do magic' as she demanded.
I return to the ground. "Happy?" I ask, "Because I haven't much time and I'm anxious to get to the main bit."
"The main bit?" she asks.
"Yes, the wishes!" I reply irritably. Maybe this won't work out... have I failed the contest already?
"The wishes?" She repeats dumbly.
Oh darkness, help me. Exhaling slowly, I repeat more calmly, "Yes, the wishes. Three of them."
"Do I have to wish now?" She seems more comfortable now, as if she's come to terms with what's happening, or at least is pretending to.
"Yes, but wait a minute. Wishes can be dangerous, so I'll ask you some questions to help you figure out a good wish." I'd planned for this - I can't let her wish to simply fly or be rich or anything; it is imperative that I remain in control.
First, I ask the subject how she's been feeling the last few days. She vaguely replies, "Fine.", to which I tell her that it's alright to tell the truth.
"Bad." She admits, "Very bad."
I ask her why she has been feeling this way, and to think this time instead of lying. She seems embarrassed, but after a few seconds replies, "My boyfriend broke up with me. Then my dad died." She laughs and wipes her eyes while saying, "It's been a hell of a week."
I don't know how to react to this. What if I blow it? Stupid, stupid mortals and their stupid, stupid death...
"I'm sorry that happened to you." I smile again, but then I stop because this probably isn't the right situation for that sort of thing.
"It's okay." The subject says.
"Ready for the next question?" I inquire. The subject is nodding.
"What can you do about it?" This statement shocks her, she has frozen in place, and now she is looking up at me. A few moments pass.
"I can't... I can't wish hi- him back alive, can I?" She asks even as her voice cracks.
"Of course! You can do whatever you like!" I reply cheerfully, expecting happiness.
She breaks down. Oh darkness, are all humans this emotional? It's only one person! Who cares?
"I wish - I wish for my dad to not be dead! For James Wilson to not be dead."
I wave my hand and sparkly dust appears from it and dances gently in the air. This couldn't have gone much better.
"Your wish... is my command!" I cry, and she laughs and looks about expectantly. When her father doesn't pop out of thin air, she stares at me accusingly.
"Don't look at me like that! He's probably right where you left him, silly!" I laugh.
"But... we buried him..." She looks scared again now. I feel something inside me, something sharp... guilt?
"Don't worry," I reply, "Zombies are pretty good at breaking out of graves."
"ZOMBIES?!" She yelps so loudly that I clap my hands over my ears.
"I DIDN'T WISH FOR MY DAD TO BECOME A ZOMBIE?"
"You should have been more specific!" I smile at her, "I don't control what the wishes do, you have to be specific!"
"YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT?" She accuses me. I shrug, which seems to only make her angrier.
"What do I do now?" She asks.
"Well..." I muse, " We wait a couple minutes maybe, and once your dad bites someone they might start doing that silly news thing of yours about an apocalypse..."
"A zombie apocalypse?" She mutters, turning away from me and pacing. " Zombie... Apocalypse."
I decide to help her, "Well, if he wasn't buried somewhere very densely populated, then it should be fine!"
The subject turns to look at me. The subject is walking towards me. What- the subject is very close to me, "He was buried in LONDON." She hisses before stalking away.
London? Some sort of town, I suppose.
Suddenly, a ding noise comes from her pocket. She grabs her phone as more and more of what she calls 'notifications' start coming through. "It's already started!" She gasps.
Everything is going exactly to plan. Of course, I had to ensure that my little zombie trick worked, so I detached a small piece of my consciousness and sent it to spy while we were talking. As I expected, a man who appeared to be rotting, skin hanging off of him, was wandering idly. I nudged him towards a café where the zombie infection spread fast among the fifty or so customers and staff. Fifty soon turned to a hundred, then two hundred, as the pack raided nearby buildings. Right now as we speak, there are about three hundred and fifty zombies rampaging around the edge of their city, making their way in.
"Why are you smiling?" Asks the subject. Oh, I hadn't realised I was doing that.
"I'm smiling..." I'm searching desperately for an excuse as her narrowed eyes stare at me, "I'm smiling because I've figured out a solution."
"What?" She asks. I do not reply. To do so would be breaking the competition rules.
At once, I look both at the subject but also at the army of close to 1000 zombies biting and scratching an assembly of more than 400 people in fancy clothes - the amount of walking dead will soon increase...
The subject is staring at the ground, I think that she is thinking.
"Wishes!" She blurts out, "I can wish to stop this?"
"Of course you can!" I reply smoothly. We stand in silence for a few seconds. I hear some sort of flying rat make a hooting noise outside. I shiver in disgust.
"Well, have you done it?"
"Done what?" I tease.
"Got rid of the zombies!" She exclaims in frustration.
"Well, you didn't wish for it yet." I explain, feeling yet again the strange sensation of a smile tugging at my lips.
" I WISH-" She starts, before I interrupt: "Sorry, sorry, I have a cooldown time." I enjoy the look of panic on her face. I don't actually have a cooldown time of course, but I needed time to ensure that at the very least 10,000 would be transformed.
"How long?" She whispers. Ah. I don't know human measurements of time. What was it? Meters? Worth a shot.
"Ten meters." The subject looks puzzled.
"Do you mean minutes?" She asks.
"Uhhmm, yes! That's what I said."
"No, it isn't."
"Yes, it is!" I reply cheerfully before walking forwards to inspect the room I am in.
I decide I'll invite her to play a human game to pass the time for however long ten meters is, "How about a game of poker for ten meters, until the wait is up?"
She looks at me as if I am the most stupid thing she's ever found stuck to the bottom of her shoe. I shiver; I do not like this look. 216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3P95YNYlGd
Is this how I look at her?
"I need some air." She is going to leave the room. I call out after her, "You know, it's not very safe to be outside right now!" I chuckle.
She shoots back a look of disgust that makes me feel small (despite the fact I could kill her in a heartbeat), and slams the door behind her. Someone inside the wall is complaining loudly about the noise to their friend.
What I assume is ten meters later, she returns. Closing the door gently this time, she tries again, "I wish for the zombies to be gone, and for everything to be okay again."
I've barely finished saying "Your wish is my command!" before she has grabbed her phone and tapping at it endlessly.
I'm waiting for her now, waiting for her to realise what she's done...
It's a few minutes later, and she's looking up at me confusedly.
"The news about the zombies has disappeared?" 216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQfsVD5fOW
I grin, and reply.
"You wanted them gone didn't you? And for everything to be okay again? I made it okay again, by erasing all memories everyone had of the people who were zombies, then wiping them off of your silly little planet."
The subject seems dumbstruck.
"So... my dad... never existed? None of those 40,000 people did?" She speaks slowly, placing great weight on each word.
"What dad?" I ask her, laughing internally at the look on her face.
Only a moment goes by before she asks, "Can I wish again?"
I wasn't anticipating this. Will it go wrong here?
"Well, what is it you want to wish for? We don't want another disaster like the last ones, do we?"
She stiffens. Have I said something rude?
"I wish for-"
I must stop her. I can't let her ruin this for me, so I interrupt, "No! No, I'm sorry, you can't wish yet. I need to warm up again, y'know?"
"I. wish. for-"
The subject is becoming defiant. I stride forwards and put my hand over her mouth.
OW. She's bitten it! Why does the human body feel so much pain? It is quite an interesting sensation though, I've never felt it before because-
"I WISH THAT YOU HAD DIED ON YOUR WAY HERE!"
Oh.
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It wasn’t the first competition of it’s sort, the government liked to turn destruction into a sport to encourage the extinction of non-magical beings. I must win, I need that gold badly if I am to be saved from oblivion.
After much deliberation, I decided to go with a human subject, as they are a creature not known by many; they are an insignificant species, however extremely prone to destruction. I am descending to their dimension now...
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"DEMON 45454545!" Cries a messenger, "YOUR TRAVEL TO PLANET EARTH HAS BEEN TERMINATED! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST BY ORDER OF THE DARK KING!"
"NO! No, please!" Begs a small, withering demon as three red ghouls carrying staffs float towards him.
"I'm meant to have until the end of the competition! Three wishes! I'm allowed to give a human three wishes, I still might win!"
The messenger ignores him, continuing in a voice that booms out across the void, "DEMON 45454545! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR DEBT TO THE DARK KING, CONSISTING OF NINE MILLION GOLD! FOR YOUR CRIMES, AND INABILITY TO GET YOURSELF OUT OF DEBT, YOU HAVE BEEN SENTENCED TO OBLIVION!"
"NO! No, please!"
One of the red ghouls raises it's staff, which is made of dark wood and seemed to glow at the end before plunging it into the lesser demon's chest.216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicNDtehgtw
Words like 'subject', 'ghoul', 'lost', and 'help' form from the darkness that once made up Demon 45454545 before fading away. With a sharp ZAP the messenger and soldiers disappear, leaving the black void empty.216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsE5oqcbbG
Meanwhile on Earth, a human woman named Samantha awaits a taxi. She checks into a hotel. She sleeps, and while she sleeps a winner is announced far away, in a different dimension...216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ALagkcB6M
"DEMON 91913873! YOU WIN THE WISH CONTEST, AND WILL HEREBY RECIEVE YOUR UNCLE'S WEIGHT IN GOLD!"216Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsklK0DvCA
