On 22 September 2018, I divorced the love of my life, in the same setting where we had a fairytale-like wedding – at the seaside. We marked our footsteps on the shore, together with a signboard decorated with love locks; while the waves casually swept them away without the slightest trace. I walked on and along the shore, just as we usually did, this time without anyone by my side.
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I imagined wearing blue waters as my skin, screaming out loud beneath them until they filled my lungs for me to breathe again. The skirts of my white gown touched the sea foam pushed by the never-ending waves. It was as if people kept coming and going in life, with lies piling up one after another. So easily. Yet so flawlessly. I saw you there afar, my arm unable to reach you. You wavered while I was on my knees, watching you get swept away. As if you were never here. As if we never existed.
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I washed myself many times in the water, whenever I started bleeding. I had this desire to bleed till the end, while the rational part of me quickly numbed such fancy every time. I didn’t know if I was saving myself or barring myself. And I didn’t know how long I stayed in the waters, for the glitters had washed themselves off my gown just like my tears. I knew for sure that was the longest time I ever bathed. I even almost drowned as I lost my guard when time passed, and I no longer had anyone to lift me up like Eric once did.
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Eric… ever powerful, sole ruler, forever ruler… that’s the meaning of his name, and the meaning of my life. He was my one, my all. Dark hair and ocean blue eyes, mysterious yet inviting, as if he had the same eyes that spoke to mine. With tanned skin and a golden aura like the sun, he owned the brightest smile on earth. When he left me, I swore I’d never love again. I couldn’t believe he’d leave without a wink. As prophesied by Ursula, he would lift me up from my plain life. But the saviour shall eventually become the white foam dissolving into the morning sea, and the latter shall turn as dark as the lonely night. At first, I thought our true love could surpass anything, and I only worried that death might be his undoing. But no, he turned out to be my undoing, subsequent to being my saviour.
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All just because I am a mermaid.
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As I continue to bathe in the long-lost waves, my porcelain fine legs transform back to their original form, a fishtail of greenish blue which I detest. I stare at the castle afar, just like what I used to do. There is a huge banner showing Eric’s face, still dreamy as ever; with a young and sophisticated-looking woman named Vanessa. Cherry lips, caramel hair and violet eyes, she surely is a butterfly in the sky.
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But the pathetic thing is, I can’t live without him after all. Panting weakly, I crawled back to the rough sands from the desperate waves. I walked calmly to the direction of the beach house, despite almost all of my energy was gone. 211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgI6rMoUCRv
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The sign at the front read: ‘Ariel & Eric, Happily Ever After'. 211Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBO298MzvR
The letters were once carved in gold, until they turned brown. Gradually, I opened my shell pendant and dipped some deep purple onto my fingertips. Finally, I rubbed it all into the rusty scars.
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And that’s the beginning of an end.
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