Before I start today's blog entry, there is something you should know about me - and it will probably sound like an excuse, but an excuse that explains a situation is better than none in my opinion. See, the thing is, I have attention deficiency. In layman's terms, I'm easily distracted, and I'm easily bored.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZHmahX8gt
Now, a few weeks ago, I got a tiny spark of passion to start writing again after a long hiatus. Unfortunately, it was but a tiny spark, barely a glimmer really. The main factor that demotivates me from writing is the fact that I just don't really have that much creative talent. Not only do I have only one story idea for the entire past decade (one that I constantly abandoned nonetheless), I have very little idea how to start the story to begin with.
Now, I have actually written a 'Chapter One' for my story before, but after I received a rather damning criticism on youngwriterssociety.com after I posted my story, I just didn't really have other inspirations on how to write a better beginning. There's this constant worry that if I write another 'Chapter One', it will be just another waste of time. It will be disliked, criticized, and forgotten.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66g7so1HUH
And let's face it, fanfiction has a ridiculously notorious reputation. Nobody on the Internet really praises fanfiction that much. The word is that 99% of it is cancer, while only 1% of it is actually readable and quality content. My story idea being a fanfiction - and I really didn't want to admit earlier, but it's somewhat of a self-insert fic, probably one of the most hated sub-genres among fanfiction - really doesn't boost my confidence.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOICsgUxiMk
So there you have it, the real reason why I took so long to publish anything. One part being not knowing how to properly begin my story, another part being not wanting to have a terrible Chapter One that puts people off.
Though ironically, me going on the soapbox and ranting about my anxieties probably put people off anyway...696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgxrTOrlmh
Anyway, I've got a therapy session coming up in two days. I might talk to my therapist about writing and hopefully regain some inspiration to get my s*** together and just stop whining. I don't know.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpMQUh4LG9
Thanks for reading if you made it this far without dying from the cringe. I just had to get this off my chest, and I really didn't want to ignore people who were kind enough to follow me. I'm sorry, guys. I'll try better.696Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdh7AEzzgtQ
