{初戀殘酷物語—周國賢}
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如果今日你有一個溫柔體貼,又善解人意嘅女朋友。212Please respect copyright.PENANAl0ObyJraDO
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咁可能因為背後佢經歷過戀愛當中刻骨銘心嘅教訓、感情離別嘅苦澀煎熬,係一點一點咁累積落嚟,一直牽引住佢,慢慢咁成為今日嘅佢。212Please respect copyright.PENANAl1AOtUyL5r
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不過,佢過去發生過嘅事,其實你未必想知道,佢亦都未必願意同你分享,就等嗰份回憶好好咁封存喺適合嘅地方,唔好再刻意去觸碰佢。212Please respect copyright.PENANAGBNW3rSTg8
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自從你離開咗我之後,時間好似倒流返番去中四啱啱認識「佢」嗰陣。212Please respect copyright.PENANAC7s3r0BuIx
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我記得,開學初頭原本區嘉桐坐我隔離,後來班主任先調咗佢同我一齊坐,原因係區嘉桐幾乎每日都喺度蝦我,最鐘意伸手扯我條辮,再將我個髮圈扔落垃圾桶,又會擦走我喺書枱上面畫嘅畫。212Please respect copyright.PENANArrOppMnNsD
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但係佢就唔同,佢會陪我畫畫,我哋一人一筆畫咗座城堡出嚟,當佢修飾緊啲線條嗰陣,佢托住腮笑吟吟咁望住我講:「住喺裡面嘅就係我哋。」212Please respect copyright.PENANAZbGW6TuKXT
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就係佢呢句唔知係有心定無意嘅說話,我由嗰刻開始暗地裡鐘意咗佢。212Please respect copyright.PENANAkguteHbdD8
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由嗰日開始,我哋關係變得越嚟越親密,無論係返學、食Lunch定係放學,我同佢幾乎都係形影不離,但係我從來都唔敢同佢講出我心裡面嘅感覺,我怕當我講咗出嚟之後,我哋嘅關係就會改變,我怕要再經歷多一次失去嘅感覺。212Please respect copyright.PENANAX9zduRrFbk
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所以,升上中五嗰陣,我都冇同佢講我每晚都要忍受叔叔嘅獸行。直至去到中六嗰年,我同「你」相遇,你直接闖入我嘅宇宙裡面,你願意接納我嘅過去,令到我好快就依賴咗你嘅關懷,喺你身上不斷獲取我所渴求嘅憐憫,但最後你又悄悄咁離開咗我。212Please respect copyright.PENANAZeQXFWRw3Z
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當晚同你分手,我唔太相信自己內心仲可以再騰出空間去容納到另一個人。212Please respect copyright.PENANAB9fQWcwqGK
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分手嘅第二晚,喺你眼中總係傷痕累累嘅我,又再一次意外受傷,不過呢次我冇可能奢求你會再次出現。212Please respect copyright.PENANAq9vzgfOdoL
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慶幸地,正如你離開前嘅盼望,「佢」代替咗「你」嘅位置,將我抱起跑咗好幾條街送去醫院,由嗰刻開始我終於感受到佢一直埋藏住嘅嗰份真誠。只係我好清楚知道,如果唔係你幫我打開咗心入面嗰道扇門,我亦唔會感受得到佢對我嘅感情。212Please respect copyright.PENANAboAG2S1XVo
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我並冇忘記我同你之間嘅承諾,我急不及待想同你分享,可惜喺醫院留院當晚我部電話並唔爭氣冇晒電,好彩最終我都能夠趕及第二朝喺你臨飛之前,用短訊話到俾你知我終於搵到一個願意照顧我嘅男仔。
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無幾耐我就搬咗去佢屋企同佢一齊住,佢爸爸媽媽因為工作關係亦長期唔喺屋企,後來有一日我媽咪同我講,叔叔因為喺地鐵非禮女學生而俾人拉咗,好似話係個女仔主動向其他乘客求助共同指證佢,我覺得個女仔真係好勇敢,因為一直以來我只係識自己一個人默默咁承受。212Please respect copyright.PENANAfv0zodb9Hc
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而我總係覺得,你只係身處喺某處角落,默默咁守望住我,所以我更加唔能夠令你失望,一定要好好去珍惜眼前嘅呢段感情。212Please respect copyright.PENANA6icNBDfR6H
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你知道嗎?212Please respect copyright.PENANA7CPinE8cek
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巴黎情人橋因為負荷問題嚴重,巴黎市政府終於宣佈將七十萬個情人鎖拆除,或者愛情總會有令人感覺沉重嘅一面,而我當時仲抱住一份執念,覺得情人之間許下過嘅諾言,唔應該因為時移世易而輕易消失。212Please respect copyright.PENANAbRPKN52qIO
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起初,我一直期待住你話俾我知,你都已經搵到你嘅幸福。212Please respect copyright.PENANAQbUfprH90d
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可惜自從嗰個短訊之後,我同你之間再無聯絡過。212Please respect copyright.PENANAMGQHQG6Jso
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時間一年一年咁過,又或者你已經一早忘記咗我。
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但原來最可怕嘅係,當我發現自己都開始漸漸咁將你淡忘...
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「遲到喇,遲到喇~」以前中學成日遲到嘅佢,雖然拍拖之後偶爾都會遲到,搞到我會發佢脾氣。不過今日呢個咁重要嘅日子,我哋刻意約早咗好多,喺附近行完街食埋飯先再慢慢行過嚟紅館,所以完全唔使擔心遲到呢個問題。212Please respect copyright.PENANAPJogVdg9WO
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「遲你個死人頭,你睇吓啲人都仲未入場。」我見佢居然咁大膽,喺度學我平時嬲佢嗰陣講嘅嘢,於是大大力一嘢捏落佢手臂度,但可能佢俾我捏得多,開始冇咩效果...212Please respect copyright.PENANALLmpan2yeD
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「一陣再啲多人就要同人迫㗎喇。」仲要俾佢捉返住我手掌,喺度幫我左捽右捽咁按摩,好似俾人捏痛嗰個反而係我咁。212Please respect copyright.PENANASxCXOliaR5
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「好喇,聽你講喇。」我挨住佢肩頭同佢一齊行去查飛嘅保安姐姐度,腦海裡面苦思緊下次可以點樣還擊。212Please respect copyright.PENANAQWHImcDBxB
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入到紅館裡面,我哋個位置幾乎係可以伸手觸及舞台,眼前一層又一層嘅煙霧製造出一種朦朧嘅氣氛,又有一種令人沉醉嘅感覺。212Please respect copyright.PENANAIKp8Ywj7mN
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「不如我哋影張自拍先囉,好唔好?」因為佢部電話貴啲所以影相都會清啲,於是我喺佢褲袋裡面摷咗佢部電話出嚟交喺佢手上,但我要佢負責做揸機嗰個,咁樣先可以將我塊面影得細啲。212Please respect copyright.PENANAeSgTdjlw34
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我哋好似其他情侶咁,擺咗幾個標準姿勢,拎住張演唱會飛,面貼面咁影咗幾張,最後一張佢側面哄埋嚟作勢想錫落我度。影完之後,我拎住佢部電話即刻將頭先啲相send返落我手機度,如果唔係佢肯定又會隔咗幾日先記得。212Please respect copyright.PENANArDanxgW8Jx
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而我就揀咗最後嗰張PO咗上IG Story。212Please respect copyright.PENANAmd7zs4pbtV
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「我想去個洗手間先吖。」212Please respect copyright.PENANA4aL2yAZ74H
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「係咪頭先飲得太多珍珠奶茶?」佢拎咗包紙巾塞喺我手心裡面,仲要趁機摸咗我手背一下,正衰人成日掛住抽我水。212Please respect copyright.PENANA6SOx2Ki71E
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「最衰都係你,又唔幫我飲多啲。」我拎住包紙巾同埋電話,一級一級咁行返上去門口位嗰女廁,好彩而家仲未算多人,所以女廁完全唔使排隊,入面仲要好似一個人都冇。212Please respect copyright.PENANABNTzSV1Uxu
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算佢醒目喇,早啲入嚟係真係好啲。212Please respect copyright.PENANAG5rcUf1A8N
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去完洗手間之後,我對住塊鏡梳返順啲頭髮,整理好儀容,順便睇吓有咩人睇咗我個IG Story。啊!唔記得帶支唇膏入嚟補妝添,算喇都係返到埋位先再補。212Please respect copyright.PENANAShTvzTghjJ
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一行出女廁,竟然俾我遇見返一幅熟悉嘅面孔,挨住旁邊幅牆,擺住甫士咁望緊手機,我心裡猶豫咗一秒好唔好驚動佢,但都係控制唔住雙腳,走上前拍一拍佢膊頭。212Please respect copyright.PENANAcmBAVzk4Lh
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「喂~」但見佢有啲慌張咁將部電話塞返落褲袋。212Please respect copyright.PENANAYF0HJuaQI1
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「點解你喺度嘅,你幾時返咗嚟㗎?」我問道。212Please respect copyright.PENANA1H7Glh0VYh
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「…咁難得佢第一次開紅館演唱會,所以點都要返嚟睇。」佢說道。212Please respect copyright.PENANALIloc4dN4j
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佢講完之後,我哋就陷入沉默之中,只係企喺原地偶爾相對而笑,心裡面好似有好多說話想講,但一時三刻又唔知點樣打開話題。212Please respect copyright.PENANAuzj6fNMEU5
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「係呢…」結果隔咗幾秒鐘左右,我哋不約而同咁打破沉寂,兩個人嘅聲音重疊咗一齊。212Please respect copyright.PENANAd1rP0fyoLM
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又隔咗兩秒。212Please respect copyright.PENANApLSqDcRhKI
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「你講先吖。」我都係讓俾佢講先。212Please respect copyright.PENANAcSZruILN4Y
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「嗯…」不過可能事出突然,霎時間我哋都諗唔到有咩想講。212Please respect copyright.PENANAXaXEJ0QSd9
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忽然間我內心好想求證我等待已久嘅答案,於是乎我打斷佢說話,同時間眼角微微移向女廁,即使我明知道女廁根本冇人:「你…等緊你女朋友吖?」212Please respect copyright.PENANAll5rXvolUy
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「係啊。」但點知佢好爽快咁答咗,然後雙手交叉放喺胸前,向住門口方向打個眼色,意下之言啫係佢女朋友喺外面趕緊過嚟。212Please respect copyright.PENANA2lpMSSXyzR
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「哦…」212Please respect copyright.PENANAqsbYrSlxX6
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「咁…你女朋友又會咁慢嘅…」然後我發現不自不覺間我對耳仔已經一片燙熱。212Please respect copyright.PENANA8DNdr1xQ2f
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「你都係快啲落返去陪你男朋友先喇,演唱會就快開始喇。」佢雙手搭住我手臂,將我擰返向樓梯方向逼我落返去,過程有啲尷尬。212Please respect copyright.PENANAN9H4C18mrP
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當樓梯落到一半嗰陣,我忍唔住回頭再望佢一眼,只見有個紥住孖辮嘅女仔,而且皮膚白皙都幾靚女,喺門口外面衝入嚟就即刻翹住佢隻手,然後笑瞇瞇咁同佢有講有笑。212Please respect copyright.PENANAFvWZgyx9mT
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我急忙擰返轉頭,內心卻不禁嘲笑自己,頭先我竟然會抱住假希望…212Please respect copyright.PENANANqc9dAMxd7
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返到埋位之後,我將包紙巾塞返落佢褲袋裡面,然後翹實佢手臂挨喺佢膊頭度。212Please respect copyright.PENANAiLEvdDMNOK
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望住舞台上嘅迷霧,前塵往事彷彿又重現眼前。212Please respect copyright.PENANA0Zgu3WB7uW
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當日你喺球場上,幫我痴嘅嗰塊膠布、212Please respect copyright.PENANA2lezwy3OAn
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仲有當晚喺儲物室入面,同你分享過嘅朱古力餅餅、212Please respect copyright.PENANAiqwFJyNdPh
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曾經,你幫我打開心扉,等我可以重新感受其他人嘅關懷、212Please respect copyright.PENANASj4M5WWvQO
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同埋幫我克服恐懼,等我可以放膽咁去感受盪鞦韆嘅樂趣、212Please respect copyright.PENANAsZfdVcpMgd
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係你一直拖住我手,穿過黑暗迎接晨曦。212Please respect copyright.PENANAxSsq0Bk5RZ
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如果當初我哋兩個都識得勇敢啲去面對現實,我並冇選擇逃避而離家出走,而你亦冇選擇逃避而將我讓俾另一個男仔照顧。212Please respect copyright.PENANARJR7wJ3gfr
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咁即使今日我哋依然分隔兩地,或者仲有可能維持到情侶關係。212Please respect copyright.PENANAekIlnnRiZP
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不過一旦分手之後,其實大家已經互不相干,而我竟然仲在意你有冇遵守諾言,結果只係換來一場玩笑,諗返起都覺得自己可笑。212Please respect copyright.PENANAKpVocOBxAD
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「係呢,頭先做咩咁耐嘅?」佢一邊撫摸住我手背,一邊問道。212Please respect copyright.PENANAaJII2EY0JB
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「學咗你啲姿姿整整嘅壞習慣囉~」212Please respect copyright.PENANA8pkOb93don
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如今事過境遷,我終於深刻體會到,當日嗰份回憶同感情,只有將佢哋好好留喺最適當嘅位置,唔好再打擾你,咁樣先係對你最貼心嘅報答。212Please respect copyright.PENANAUaS31DUdZv
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只係我都好想多謝你,曾經喺我生命中出現過。
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—全文完—
IG: midnightdessertstory
ns 15.158.61.20da2