WARNING! LONG CHAPTER AHEAD
Blake held onto Ella as she shivered in his arms. When he felt her whimper, he pulled closer, trying to get her warmer because her skin was frozen to the touch.
Ella flinched, digging her head into his shoulder. Blake knew she was having a nightmare, so he shifted further onto her. He wrapped his arms around her, shielding her from fear that started consuming her dreams.
“Blake,” she wept quietly, pressing her hand on his bare chest as she tried to feel him. “Blake….”
“I’m here,” he whispered, resting his hand on hers. “I’m right here.”
“I can’t sleep…” Ella said somberly. “I can’t close my eyes without seeing her kill Mia….”
He noticed how she didn’t mention Ivy hurting her…
“I’m sorry…” she said. “I couldn’t save her… and now it’s haunting me… I’m scared….”
“Princess…” Blake murmured, “do you think you deserved to get hurt?”
Silence.
“I know… that it’ll get worse…” Ella said. “So I try not to think about how she hurt me in the past….”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Blake stated. “Do you think you deserved it?”
“Well… I…” Ella hesitated. “I… made her angry… didn’t I…? Didn’t I take away the thing her daughter wanted…?”
“You didn’t take me.” Blake chuckled. “I took you.”
“Prince Blake,” she said, “I feel weird….”
“How so?”
“I… I feel different….”
“You are different, Ella.” He gave her a smile, something glittering in his eyes.
She stared at him, brows drawn together, trying to grasp what he was saying… but all her reasoning just vanished into confusion. “What?”
“Do you remember last night, Princess?” He tilted his head to the side.
Ella’s cheeks glowed red, the memory of them together stirring her insides, and she nodded. “Yes.”
“What happened at the very end? Do you remember, Ella?”
She studied his green eyes, thinking back. She remembered the forest, how he kissed her… Then they went to the castle and had—
She felt her cheeks burn.
“Continue thinking,” he said, amused.
Wait… there was something… a bright light…
Ella’s eyes widened in realization. “I caught fire… I was glowing… How is that possible…?”
Blake gave her a grin that made her heart pound. “You are half-Angel and half-witch, Princess. Your emotions were heightened to a point where your magic activated and burst. Which means…” he leaned closer, “that at one point in time last night… You felt you deserved to be loved… and you let that feeling in instead of pushing it away… So now, Sweetheart…” he pressed his lips to her temple, “you can use magic….”
She looked shocked… then confused… then surprised… and her eyes glowed in the darkness. “I can?”
A smile. “You can.”
All the sudden, Ella grabbed onto him, snuggling into the crook of his neck. “Thank you….”
Blake chuckled. “For what?”
“You make me feel special…” she admitted. “You’re the first after my father died….”
“I did ask before,” Blake murmured, “but I’d like to ask again.” He pulled away just enough to see her eyes. “Isabella Magaroth?”
Her blue eyes glistened in the moonlight that shone through the window. “Yes?”
“Do you love me?”
Ella smiled. “Prince Blake the Second,” she said, “no.”
When his eyes widened, she couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” She looked at his confused expression. “Yes. Yes, I love you.”
“You scared me!” Blake almost yelled. “I almost died of a heart attack!”
Ella continued laughing, pulling herself to him as she tried to calm her breathing. When she was silent, she cuddled up with him, letting Blake run his fingers over her bare back. Soothing chills ran down her spine, and she nuzzled herself in the curve of him, letting his warmth consume her.
“I love you…” she expressed silently.
“I love you too, Princess,” he responded.
“I have a question…” she said.
“Hmm?”
“Do you ever sleep?”
Blake snickered. “Nope.”
“Don’t you ever get tired…?”
Blake shook his head. “Fallen Angels don’t need to rest.”
“So… do you just watch me all night?”
“You make that sound so creepy…” Blake said, amused. “Kind of. I try to help you sleep. You have such horrible nightmares.”
“Do you get bored?” Ella wondered.
Another shake of the head. “I never get tired of holding you.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
Ella’s lashes fluttered closed as he tucked strands of hair behind her ear. In the darkness behind her lids, she felt his touch burn her skin as he massaged her neck.
After a couple minutes of silence, Blake moved his hand to her hair, pulled the pins out of her bun, and tossed them across the room, running his fingers through the locks so they flowed down to her sides.
It was then that he started massaging her temples, and her lashes opened slightly. “How did you know my head was hurting…?”
“I can tell,” was his response, and he moved his hands to her back, kneading the tense muscles under her shoulder blades, and Ella shifted further into him, pulling her hands to her chest.
He went back up to her shoulders and let his fingers work against the spasms there. “My parents will be back later today,” Blake uttered. “We’ll tell them about our relationship and hold a ball. How does that sound?”
“It sounds good…” Ella murmured, feeling exhaustion overcome her again. “I’m afraid to fall asleep….”
“I’ll be here,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’ll stay?”
“I swear.”
“Do you think they’ll like me?” Ella wondered softly. “Your parents?”
“I think they’ll love you,” he promised.
“Can you hold me tighter?” she whispered as if she were embarrassed. “I’m really cold….”
Blake stared at her for a moment, then he lifted her up so they fit closer together, and he guided her legs around his waist. She resisted at first, but he let his hands glide down her calves. “I won’t do anything if you don’t want it, okay?”
She stopped resisting and let him wrap her legs around his hips. Blake pulled her to him, her soft navel fit with his cushioned one, her arms wrapped around him, and her head tucked under his chin, fitted into his chest as he rubbed her back.
“Hush…” he breathed. “I’ll keep you safe… You don’t need to be afraid… I‘ll be here forever… by your side forever… and I’ll never let go unless you want me to….”
His words soothed her fear like the long strokes on her back. And she shivered as her pain started fading. “Please…” she begged, “keep talking.”
“You’re mine and I’m yours,” Blake continued. “You’re my Savior and I want to be yours, as well. I love you… I will do anything for you… and I’ll try to calm your fears… you’re terrors… I will hurt anyone who comes near you with intent to cause you harm… If you’re injured I will heal you… If someone hurts you… they must have a death wish.”
“Once upon a time,”
Blake stared down at Ella as she sang. Her voice soft and smooth like an Angel.
“There was a little girl
Who sat upon the world
She loved to write
And she loved to sing
As the world faded above
Little did she know
That the world would change its shape
And she would fall away
Down into a clove
She fears her life’s at stake
She scared she’ll fall away
From the ones she loves the most
The world is fading…
Her life is changing…
And she doesn’t know what to grasp
She fears who she loves will leave her
Like her father, her mother, and dog Beafer
And she doesn’t know how to tell him
That she loves and will never let go
She’s afraid to get to close…
She’s too scared to tell him, though…
And she can’t stop the pain…
That people cause her every day.”
Blake felt Ella start sobbing and he held onto her, but she still continued, sobbing the words… every sentence making Blake’s heart crack until it couldn’t hold her sorrow any longer.
“Why must my life take a turn?
Why must my body be burned?
Why can’t I live a tale?
That the boy I love won’t bail?
Why must my father be dead?
By the person he put his trust in?
Why must my mother be gone?
Why have I had no one at all?
Why am I hurt because
The boy I love can’t be mine?
Why can’t I feel nothing but pain?
And the world is fading…
To flame….”
When Ella ended her song, she cried in Blake’s chest, her nails biting into his shoulders as he pressed her to him, rubbing her bare back.
“It’s okay…” he tried to convince her. “Hush, Princess… Breathe….”
But she didn’t listen, she continued crying… unable to stop the sobs that made her feel weak…
It was then… that he pressed his mouth to her neck, gently suckling on the sensitive skin, and a moan escaped her sobs, making her burrow her head into his shoulder.
He kept nibbling her until she calmed into silence, and he trailed his kisses to her shoulder, down her arm, to her wrist, brushing his lips across her palm, and he pressed it to his cheek, staring into her tear-filled eyes. Her eyes that were filled with sorrow and pain…
“I’ll never leave you,” Blake promised. “I’ll never hurt my Princess… Instead… I’ll make her pain go away… I’ll hold her until she’s safe… I’ll protect her from any more harm… Even from herself….” He held out his arms. “So come closer.”
Ella stared at him with her blue eyes glistening. She looked down for a brief moment, staring at his chest. It was only a matter of seconds until she threw herself into his embrace, taking him off guard. Tightening her legs around his waist, Ella curled into his arms, holding on and never wanting to let go.
Blake was able to settle back into himself after a moment. “You clearly don’t want to sleep,” he said, “so what do you want to do until my parents get home, Sweetheart?”
Ella thought for a moment, she knew it was almost sunrise, then she whispered, “Can we go for a walk in the woods? Can you show me some of your favorite places?”
“Is that what you want?” Blake wondered.
“Yes,” she nodded.
“Okay,” he whispered. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIg1ktNrF8x
*****
Ella lay curled up on the bed, watching Blake as he slipped on his pants, shirt, and she was surprised to find him not wearing a cloak this time.
Did he not have enough cloaks?
She closed her eyes for a brief moment, letting herself feel his aura near her, but once she saw his shadow hover over her, she opened them again.
“Are you tired?” he wondered in a soothing tone.
Ella shook her head, reaching out for him like a toddler wanting to be picked up.
“Come on, Sweetheart,” he exhaled through a chuckle as he lifted her by her armpits, holding her with one arm as he grabbed a robe off the bedpost. “Can you hold onto me for a moment?” Blake brushed her hair to the sides.
Ella’s response was wrapping her legs around his waist from his side, and Blake pulled her arms through the sleeves and let the warm hood droop over her head.
The robe was meant for him, and Ella was really short while Blake was six foot, so it fell past her bottom, but she liked how it smelled like him… Soap… Fresh… Earthy… And he wrapped it around her legs as if to keep her covered.
Blake’s left arm was back under her bottom, supporting her so she didn’t fall when her legs got tired.“It’s blue,” he said, smiling, “so I think it fits your style.”
She just snuggled her face in his neck, the soft blanket-like feel of the hood brushing her cheeks. “Do I look ridiculous?” she asked softly.
“You always look beautiful,” Blake murmured. “Even when you wear clown make up.”
Ella’s mind stirred on the memory. She was playing with her dad when she was little, and he spread clown make up on her because she was acting silly.
“You saw that?” Ella questioned, a little embarrassment creeping in her tone.
“I see everything,” he said matter-of-factly. “The question is, what do I not see.”
Ella was silent, trying to figure out how she would respond to that, but she couldn’t figure out a single word, so she just stated something she felt. “You’re warm….”
Where did that come from? She didn’t know. Why she said it? She questioned that herself too.
“You’re adorable,” Blake said back, chuckling.
“I don’t want you to let go…” she admitted in a whisper.
He brushed his free hand down her head, through the hood. “Then I won’t.”
“Won’t you get tired?”
“If I do, then I’ll switch arms, but you’re not allowed down now.” He said the last words with a little playfulness in his tone.
She felt herself smile when he said that. Even though all the crying and pain happened, even though she was hurt multiple times, he always cheered her up. No matter how angry he was, he held her softly. No matter what he wanted to do, she was always his first priority.
No matter how much she was afraid of loving him, she knew he would never let her go... And she embraced it... so now... she would never let him go...
She should’ve put clothes on, but they were soaked… Blake hung them on the door to his bedroom. He wore a fresh collared shirt and dress pants from his closet, but decided to make Ella comfier instead of putting one of his shirts on her.
“Sooooft…” Ella murmured, rubbing her cheek on his shoulder, loving the feeling of the hood on her clean skin.
“Yeeees,” Blake mocked, chuckling. Then he spoke softly, “Do you like it, Princess? You can keep it if you want.”
She shook her head. “No… you already paid for a lot of my clothes… I can’t steal from you, Prince Blake….”
“Please, Princess…” he whispered, “stop calling me ‘Prince.’”
Ella kept on rubbing her cheek on his shoulder, unable to stop herself. “It doesn’t feel right to call you just ‘Blake.’”
“It doesn’t feel right because you think your less than me,” he corrected. “That’s not true, so stop it.”
She flinched at his harsh tone, forcing her head to become still.
“I’m sorry for snapping there,” he said, suddenly his voice calm. He moved her so she was in front of him. He let out a long sigh at the confused look in her eyes. “Come here.” And he pushed her head to his chest, gently whispering, “You’re a Princess now, Isabella. I don’t care what Ivy put in your head. She hurt you. She hurt my Angel. And now I’m going to treat you right, and she is going to learn her lesson.” His tone hardened at the last words.
Ella wrapped her arms around him, his hand still pressing her head to his sternum. “Why are you so nice to me…?”
He turned his head into her neck, his lips moving on her skin as he spoke. “Because my Angel deserves to be loved. She had everything taken from her because other people hated her beauty, and that is cruel. I’m going to love my Angel until she lets me in.”
“Why aren’t you taking advantage of me…?” she whispered quietly. “Other men do….”
“Oh?” Blake sounded surprised, but there was something dark in his tone. “And who took advantage of you, Princess?”
Ella was silent, worried that Blake was going to hurt him. She gulped... or worse... judge her... “Never mind.”
“No,” he said, pulling away so he saw her face. “Don’t shut me down. Tell me.”
Her blue eyes were dark, and she looked at his chest, avoiding eye contact.
“Hey,” he urged, tugging her chin so she looked into his eyes, “tell me, Sweetheart. Who?”
“Please…” Ella murmured, fighting back tears at the memory. The boy who she thought she loved at first… but he used her… took her… then left to try to get her stepsister… “I don’t want to think about it….”
“Too late,” Blake said, trying to joke with her. “You thought it.”
“Can you let go of my chin, please…?” Ella’s stomach sunk the more he read the pain in her eyes.
“Tell me first,” Blake said. “Please, Princess.”
“I don’t want you to….” Her voice trailed off.
“To what?” he pushed, studying her eyes that grew darker… They looked almost like the midnight sky now… The light in the room glistening like stars in the navy blue.
She closed her eyes, swallowing down fear.
“Hey,” Blake gently pressed, “look at me, Sweetheart. I’m not going to hurt you, you know this.”
She did know, but it didn’t stop the fear. “I’m scared you’ll get angry…” Ella breathed.
He was already starting to get irritated with her hesitancy. It didn’t take an idiot to know she was focusing all her thoughts to not say his name.
“Alright,” Blake said, “come on.” He started walking toward the balcony.
“What…? Where are we going?”
He smiled against her neck. “We’re going to walk all over town until I feel you get nervous when we get near his house.”
“No!” Ella squirmed in Blake’s hold, trying to push him away.
“Ah—ah,” he said, amused. “I said you’re not allowed down, didn’t I?”
“Please… Blake…” she sounded terrified, “I can’t go near his house… You don’t understand….”
“Help me, then,” Blake soothed, gently wiping a tear that escaped.
“He’s… please… just stop WALKING!”
Blake immediately froze at the rage in her tone, his brows pushed together as her eyes burned with fire. What… the hell… did… this man… do to her?
She took a deep breath, then exhaled. “I’m sorry…” she breathed. “I didn’t mean to yell… I just want you to stay here with me….” She rested her cheek on Blake’s chest as he stared down at her, the green in his irises swirling with confusion. “If you stay…” she bargained, “if you… please… just… stay there… don’t walk out like you were going to… And I’ll… talk….”
“Okay.” He didn’t feel like asking her all the questions that stirred at his mind. She got so scared she… yelled… Not the usual sob yell… It was an angry, raging, scream… What the hell? That was not normal.
“He… was around seventeen when I was dating him,” she started. “I was stuck in the infatuation… That first feeling of a crush… I knew something was off… but I pushed it away… I wanted it to work so badly that I didn’t see what was coming…
“He attacked me,” she said. “After a struggle he had me pinned to the ground… And it was then… when I saw that look in his eyes… that he never wanted love… he played me… And… that’s when it happened….”
“He… raped you?” Blake questioned harshly. He could feel his veins start burning with rage.
Ella winced at the ugly word that filled the room. She looked up to Blake, her eyes drooping in sadness, and nodded. Something dark flashed across her face as she saw his irate expression.
“I was… fourteen…” she continued, voice shaking. “And he just left….”
There was something else. Something she was hiding. He could see it in her pained expression. The way she bit her lip when she was holding words back.
“You’re hiding something,” Blake noticed. “What is it?”
She looked down, her legs weakening around his waist as she felt herself getting sick. It seemed as if Blake noticed this, and she heard him whisper a gentle “here,” and got her to let go of his waist as he lifted her legs in one arm, her back in the other, cradling her to his chest and he waited for her to talk.
Swallowing down nausea, she continued, “He’s… almost twenty now… And… he’s… a….”
“A what?” Blake pressed.
“A trafficker…” she breathed out, clearly holding back tears with the crack in her tone.
“Why are you scared about that?” Blake wondered softly. “Is it because he’s hurting other children?”
“No!” Ella bit back a sob and calmed her tone. “No… It’s because… Ivy made a bargain with him….”
Blake’s eyes darkened in realization. “No,” he growled, “she did NOT.”
Ella nodded. “She told him that when she’s done with me… I’m his… I wasn’t supposed to know… but I heard her talking to him one night… In her office….”
Blake cursed under his breath, trying not to tighten his hold on her. Despite his rage, he felt sympathy and guilt rolling in with the fire… And he wanted to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay. That she was safe. That he would protect her. But he needed to be in a place where she felt safe. So he pressed her to him, gently murmuring, “Come on. I’ll take you to the waterfall. You like it there, right?”
Taken off guard by his gentle tone, she nodded.
“Do you want to go anywhere else, Princess?”
“Where do you want to go, Blake?” Ella tried to sound curious, but her tone was flat and… sad…
He nudged her head with his like a cat. “I want what you want,” he gently murmured. “What you want to do, I’ll do it. And don’t feel bad, okay?” he added at her concerned look.
“I like….” She looked down, thinking. “Hmm….”
Blake waited patiently for her request, wanting her to feel better. He needed to do what she wanted… It was what his instincts told him. He would pry the bastard’s name out of her later.
“Do you mind…” Ella whispered, “if we could go to the cabin…? Did I take to long when I talked? Are your parents going to be home soon?”
“No,” he breathed. “They can wait. My Angel takes priority.” And Blake launched into the sky, wings flapping, holding Ella to him as the sky cleared ahead.
76Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzEIqk8tMn
*****
“What is it about here that you like?” Blake wondered as he entered the cabin, closing the door and locking it behind her. Ella knew he bolted the door to make her feel more secure.
“I like the nature vibe…” she admitted in a whisper, looking around.
Blake didn’t respond, just studied her as she walked over to the counter and sat on the floor.
He could read her mind at the moment, and he could feel that she was disgusted with herself… Stomach turning, swallowing down nausea disgusted, and his brows pinched together in concern as she pulled her legs to her chest, hugging them to herself, almost as if she thought that would stop the horrible pain that consumed her.
He just stood there, thinking of what to do… The nausea… the agony… the depression and anger in her eyes… It hurt him deeply…
Ella put her head down, trying to avoid his concerned gaze, and she pulled the hood more over her head so her vision was enclosed in darkness.
At this gesture, Blake felt the need to help her, and he walked over to her, getting on one knee, though she didn’t seem to notice.
He pushed his arms under her, making her look up, a look of fear in her eyes along with a shine of tears. “Blake, no!”
She squirmed in his grip, feeling so much self-hatred consume her that she didn’t want comfort.
“Shhh…” he cooed, cradling her to his chest. “It’s okay. I’m here now. You don’t have just yourself anymore. So let me help.”
She stared up at him as he carried her over to the small bed, tears filling her eyes as she tried to hold them back. “Please… I don’t want to be comforted….”
“Yes, you do,” Blake answered. “I can read your thoughts, Ella. I know your angry at yourself, but you shouldn’t be.”
She blinked, brows drawing together as he sat on the bed, holding her in his lap. “I shouldn’t?”
Blake looked at her like she grew two heads. “No. God, no.”
She got up off his lap, dodging his reach. “But…” Ella looked down, confused, “Ivy said that I taunted men with my body… She told me that I show off too much… That’s why I always try to wear long dresses so they cover my legs… and I put my hair up…” she said her next words quietly, “but you always take the pins out….”
Blake just stared at her, disbelieving how horrible the toxicity was all these years… He saw heated arguments… but he never heard what was said… He just watched Ella back away like a terrified puppy, and put her head down to avoid eye contact.
And he sure as hell didn’t know she was assaulted. Where was he when this happened?
“Izzy,” he whispered, making Ella look at him, confused as he called her that, “did… did I go to far…?” he said silently. Ella watched guilt weigh down his shoulders.
“What?” she said. “Too far with what?”
“In the forest…” Blake explained quietly. “When I started kissing you… You were afraid… Was it… was it because you were uncomfortable? Because of what that guy did to you? Did you feel pressured?”
He looked up then, his dark green eyes gazing into hers, wanting an answer.
Ella’s lips parted. Did he really think that? Was he really afraid she didn’t want that? Why was he so different from everyone else?
“No,” she said finally. “No….” She started shaking her head violently. “No, no, no!”
“Sweetheart—” Blake started, eyes glowing in worry of this reaction.
“Blake!” Ella almost screamed. “No! No! I didn’t feel pressured! I didn’t feel forced! Yes, I was scared… but I trusted you! I felt scared that I didn’t deserve you! That we will be torn apart!”
He looked at her brows pushed together. Did… she really think that? This sweet, beautiful, broken girl? That he would let them part? Who would brainwash her to think this? Why can’t she just trust him?
Ella turned away, walking to the kitchen, about to sit on the floor but she heard Blake’s voice behind her.
“Baby,” he said softly, “come here.”
Ella stopped mid-stride, pushing her palms into her eyes, trying to stop the burning as sobs caught in her throat.
“Please?” he begged.
“I’m okay,” she choked. “Don’t worry about me, okay?”
“Come here,” he said again, the softness to his tone not wavering.
She turned, facing him but avoiding his eyes. Slowly she walked to him, the sobs still creeping up in her throat, but she painfully swallowed them down.
When she stood in front of Blake, he grasped her arms, pulling her to him so sudden that she fell onto his lap, legs straddling his hips.
“Hug me,” he pleaded.
Ella closed her eyes tightly, trying to resist, but he lightly grasped her arms and guided them around him.
“Please,” Ella said, “Prince Blake—”
“Hush…” he soothed, pulling her to him with his hand, the other pulling the hood off her red locks.
“I’m not in the mood…” she uttered, pulling the hood back up.
Blake brushed her hands away, pushing it back down. “I know,” he promised, “I’m not going to try anything.”
He swept his hands behind her neck and pushed her long crimson red hair out from the robe, letting the waves fall to her waist.
“So beautiful,” he murmured, tucking some strands behind her ear so he could see her face. Lightly he rubbed his thumb over her brown freckles, and she couldn’t help but lean her cheek into his palm.
“Let me in,” he pleaded quietly. “Let me help. Let me in, please. I’m dying out here in the cold… Feeling your pain… Your fear… Your loss… Please… I’m begging you, let me in….”
“I’m scared I’ll lose you,” Ella admitted.
“No one is taking you from me,” Blake said a little sternly. “No one.”
“I never knew anyone like you,” she said, letting her head falling to his shoulder. “You’re warm… Soft… Kind… Only to me… Why?”
“Because you’re mine…” he said softly. “My Savior… My Princess… My Angel… And everyone’s been so cruel to you, Sweetheart. I want to be the one you can depend on… but you keep on closing me off… You try to shield me from your pain but it doesn’t stop me from seeing it,” he lowered his voice, “and it doesn’t stop you from feeling it either, my love.”
“I can’t stand it anymore,” Ella whimpered. “Please, hold me….”
Blake smiled.
Finally.
He held her to him like she was hurt or dying… Like he was losing her… Tightly… but not so much that he hurt her…
“Please…” Ella begged, “tell me… tell me that I’m going to be okay….”
“I promise… that no one lays a hand on you… Ever. Again.”
The way she relaxed in his arms when he spoke said that she believed it. “You make me feel safe…” Ella breathed. “I feel so vulnerable around you….”
“I’m the same,” Blake said back.
“I was afraid you’d leave me at the gates after we had sex…” she said a little silently.
He breathed out a sigh in her neck. “Well what happened instead?” He tried to get her to see what his real intentions were. Not what she feared.
“You held me when I cried…” she remembered. “You calmed me… And you wrapped me up in a blanket and hugged me….”
“Am I doing enough to prove to you that I love you?”
She nodded, relaxing more.
“I need your permission,” Blake spoke, running his fingers down her scalp. Then he leaned down to whisper in her ear, “Can I kill that son of a bitch?”
He felt her laugh against his chest, but he wasn’t joking.
“Yes…” she said finally. “I trust you, but I want to be with you… Don’t leave me at home waiting for you to come back… It’s horrible….”
Makes sense. “It’s a deal.”
“Can we stay here for a bit?” she pleaded. “I’m comfy….”
Blake couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “Of course, Sweetheart. Whatever you want, I’ll do it, but I’m going after that asshole now that you allowed me.” He walked his fingers up her back. “No takesy backsies.”
Ella giggled, feeling him tickle her slightly.
He pulled back, cupping her cheek. He loved seeing her smile as she leaned her head into his hand.
“I love your smile,” Blake said, a light in his eyes. “I want to see it more often. How can I make you smile more?”
Ella leaned toward him, pressing her lips to his gently. When she pulled away, she had a half smile lurking.
“I don’t know what makes me happy anymore,” she acknowledged a little sadly. “But,” she added at Blake’s depressed look, “you always find a way. So just keep being yourself.”
She was so sweet. Blake pulled in for another kiss, unable to stop himself, and Ella let him shape his mouth with hers. He forced himself to let go so she wasn’t uncomfortable and just rested his forehead on hers, looking into her gaze, searching.
“You’re still sad,” he noticed, running his thumb along her temple. “I can see it in your eyes.”
“But I feel better,” she assured him.
“I want to see your eyes bright again….” He let his forehead part from hers and replaced it with his lips. Ella closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his body settle into hers. She loved the feel of him, even when he was just holding her… And he didn’t force her to do things she didn’t want to do…
“I don’t need them bright…” she told him. “I just need to hear you… to feel you… to see you… to know that you’re here… and I feel better….”
His heart melted at her words and he moved his lips from her forehead, to her temple, down to her lips again, and he let go, trying not to scare her.
“It’s okay,” Ella promised. “I’m okay with a kiss… I’m just not in the mood for anything more.”
“I understand,” Blake uttered, letting his lips linger over hers. His breath warm on her cheeks, she pressed her mouth to his, but he pulled away. “I know what you’re doing,” he said suddenly.
“What… I’m… doing?”
“You’re forcing yourself,” he explained, reading her body language. “To make me feel better. Don’t. Because it doesn’t make me feel better.”
“What makes you think I’m forcing myself?” she asked a little defensively.
“I can read you, Princess,” he stated. “I can feel you. You’re pressed right on me,” he added with a light chuckle. At her confused look, he ran his hands down her arms. “You’re tense, you’re shaking, you hesitate when I try to kiss you.”
Ella looked away, dropping her hands to his lap.
“Please, don’t get angry,” he begged. “I just want you to be happy. Is that too much to ask?”
“I want you to be happy too…” she said quietly. “And I’m not angry… I hate being angry… I try my best to avoid it….”
“You’re shaking worse,” Blake noticed, touching her arms lightly. “Can I hold you, Princess?”
Ella looked at him then, nodding.
He pulled her closer, pushing her head into his chest as he tried to calm her down, but she was shivering… and he didn’t know why…
“Shhh…” he cooed again, brushing her hair with his hand. “Oh, God… you’re so cold….”
“It’s okay, Blake…” Ella forced herself to say. “I don’t want you to feel bad for me….” She started getting out of his lap.
He grabbed her waist. “Baby…” he whispered somberly, “let me in… please….”
She stared at him for a moment, her blue eyes glowing in the sunrise. “I can’t take my walls down… I just can’t… They automatically go up when I’m scared….”
“Why are you scared, baby?”
Ella closed her eyes, feeling warmth consume her as he called her that. She didn’t know why… but his nicknames made her feel special… Even when other people thought they were creepy.
“I told you…” she responded. “Don’t you remember…?”
He leaned back, pulling her down with him.
“Blake!” Ella thought she was going to fall, so she planted her hands on his chest, holding herself steady as he rested below her.
“Lay with me,” he whispered, gazing softly at her panicked expression.
“I don’t—”
He pressed his finger to her lips. “Let me calm you.”
Ella’s eyes somehow softened at his words, and she climbed off him, watching as he sat up and positioned himself to lay beside her, facing her, his back propping up against the wall.
“Mmm…” she whimpered, rubbing her arms, looking around worriedly.
“Hey,” he said, trying to get her attention, “come here, baby. Please.”
Ella rested down next to him, casting a look out the window but Blake caught her arm and reeled her against him before she saw anything.
He held her face into his chest, making it so she couldn’t see anything but his white collared shirt.
“Close your eyes,” he murmured.
“I’m scared….” Ella shuttered, but he pulled closer before she could wrap her arms around herself.
“It’s okay,” he soothed. “Relax, Princess. I’m right here.”
“No…” she whimpered, tears sliding down her cheeks.
“Don’t cry,” he breathed. “Let me help, Sweetheart. Please?”
Ella pulled closer at his words, snuggling into his curves as he held her to him, her head tucked under his chin as he gently rubbed her back. She felt herself relaxing.
“There you go,” he murmured, kissing the top of her head. “Let go. Let yourself go. I’m here now. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner… but I’ll never leave. I’ll never let you go. That, I promise.”
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