x
No Plagiarism!Vy5CxS7xBqlk5pK3veb6posted on PENANA
I like college. At least I think I do? The first semester wasn't that bad and my neighbors are ok I guess. It took me a little longer than most to figure out, but studying to be a doctor kinda really sucks. I dont think it's for me at all. I feel I'm working more than most to just get a passing grade, and I like other stuff more. What I really like is teaching. It's honestly nice to help kids and maybe give them a good chance at life. But It's scary to think about what my mom told me, “You're gonna be a doctor and lead the company into the future in medical technology.” 8964 copyright protection240PENANABldtIIu9Vf 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAqBj8p76WlU
8964 copyright protection240PENANAFPjZOlvEbt 維尼
It’s not that I don't want to help people but I think I have my own way of helping others, like teaching! It feels like I’m stuck tho, I know damn well that she would be utterly disappointed if I told her what I really wanted to do. For now I might just roll with it, maybe, mom is always going about expressing her excitement for my future. 8964 copyright protection240PENANAooAqn29Rwb 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANATPi6CWo7wM
8964 copyright protection240PENANAPYxxiKYMNn 維尼
It has to do with my body, I was born with my sex being fluid, it changes from time to time and it's hard to hide. For a few days to weeks at a time my voice is soft and high one day, then another day I'm speaking in a low and hard tone. I grow breasts and sometimes it's a combination of both, changing at least every two weeks. My mind tells me im this, but my body doesn't match that. I’ve struggled with it alot and I’ve lived with it for a long time, but people don't help. I’ve tried joining the queer body society on my campus but even many of them don’t like the idea of my body while many fetishize me. The constant changing is exhausting, it's depressing. Recently it's been impossible to see myself as a person. 8964 copyright protection240PENANAmEPL2cI0xJ 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAwgOmW4h4wV
8964 copyright protection240PENANAXxWlDvKVTC 維尼
I’m not very picky with what people’s bodies say they are, I just like people. I fell in love with someone, he was also a medical student and while his colleagues were weird around me. He treated me as if the rumors didn't exist and so we would talk for hours on end going out for food and talking about ourselves. I believed that he truly loved me for me, whatever I was anyways. Who knew someone could be so smart and kind, they taught me lots about the world and cultures I had no idea of. How could I be so stupid? Who knew I had that many tears in me. 8964 copyright protection240PENANAmEho93RIEI 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAUkvaZtfWjx
8964 copyright protection240PENANA4KT15idmlL 維尼
A semester would pass then 2 years have gone by until I noticed. The signs were there the whole time, I just didn't want to see them. I caught him collecting my hairs for DNA and I brushed off his remarks about my body, how much he liked to look at it and the way he grabbed me. I caught him with someone else one day, is that how much my heart is worth? My world silently collapsed. He never knocked or called, I doubt he ever saw the “true me”, he only ever saw my body. I couldn't speak anymore, it was difficult to eat, or even breathe. I didn't go out anymore, I stopped doing classwork and just laid in bed not knowing what to do with myself. The frustration that my body gave me was horrific, I clawed at my skin. He couldn't love me because of my body, I never chose to be born this way! I could destroy this lamp, this shelf, this wall, this body, myself. I didn't want to be in this body, I couldn't live in this body anymore. I was so cold, my body, that used to love feeling so much warmth had got cold, I was lonely again. 8964 copyright protection240PENANArK0tk0YT39 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAB31jNi2wnU
8964 copyright protection240PENANAy9Y3J13ESo 維尼
I wish I was nothing. I felt nothing. Months would pass.8964 copyright protection240PENANAZnjMkturXt 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAGN08d9pqlZ 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAvOTciZsUJM 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAR7q1Di98T1 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANApanlmszayV 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAFCkyi6PMJ3 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAEinLRgLawR 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANA1Z9b9B8KAO 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANA0uQbIvgl4S 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAY4cMKC7LA6 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANASX1ZIloc2x 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAvJYskVwpmK 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAvSmy6r8HnW 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAcxzzYKqb7a 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAaHFkLfPRJh 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAatHtFZCAxH 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAlBJlQg6iCc 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAdbHVD0i2A0 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANApllvcmPVWj 維尼
.8964 copyright protection240PENANAKdDqRvicLh 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANA4RnQG8yOHG 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANAN3nurEimGC 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANAjzZJpwdDyz 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANAZTvR1RdVpq 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANAKjVhCfREPx 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANArvcItwo24T 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANA0UXEXXl3rf 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANAIgZ86TsHZ3 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANAJ3eJt2H36X 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANAdDPe6fp2F1 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANACHWremfkh0 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANAFSMOOaoOiW 維尼
..8964 copyright protection240PENANASvxPMmDGMF 維尼
…8964 copyright protection240PENANAtlLElFwGUN 維尼
…8964 copyright protection240PENANAAsFz5RmaxT 維尼
…8964 copyright protection240PENANAKkylAevzMO 維尼
…8964 copyright protection240PENANAUpb3xMmjzT 維尼
I want to…8964 copyright protection240PENANAx06UcGgqtQ 維尼
…8964 copyright protection240PENANAg0ZqMbRVS8 維尼
….8964 copyright protection240PENANAIGlFhGPux4 維尼
….8964 copyright protection240PENANA3XV8DsVWls 維尼
….8964 copyright protection240PENANAnCE6IuwTlK 維尼
….8964 copyright protection240PENANA7HvcaZGAAd 維尼
….8964 copyright protection240PENANANR1o8tYCGO 維尼
….8964 copyright protection240PENANAPOfnybWH8u 維尼
….8964 copyright protection240PENANADCstA07Ghz 維尼
….8964 copyright protection240PENANA7ZCBt6ZShz 維尼
….8964 copyright protection240PENANAUwpqorBsVv 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANAgw9yj0I7GX 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAnQbMggQN8c 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANAvb63jBTMGc 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANA749krRuxkA 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANAIFW4jVha6E 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANAuasHGLHij3 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANA20CfXnYbbq 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANAEBhhAp2tEp 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANAV84U4vsZlb 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANATPvKEhWppy 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANA39l6cWBLg2 維尼
…..8964 copyright protection240PENANAqQU1kfyXL6 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAWlEVdsRmZd 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAOilS6Bc3fS 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAMToCleqYb1 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAYrsuFs5r1b 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAYxy3Q681me 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAiBg4Z3aOnd 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANACDuunZqPXu 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAXvomu2fOl5 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAMXsDaJAvtG 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAgDLWf6gCvd 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAVLULSeAhYP 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAHdoAwoZLhb 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAeFrmAjo4FF 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAsuPa3aPEkG 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANABzxXsO95Yv 維尼
……8964 copyright protection240PENANAgPejWUnpKe 維尼
…….8964 copyright protection240PENANAQY2JIs1Oyn 維尼
I want to be happy again, despite what people think…8964 copyright protection240PENANAj33F7VtRb1 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAb3seiiWkyP
8964 copyright protection240PENANA1nfvtnKF97 維尼
I worked up the strength and washed my face, still in my pj’s I got up and into my car. 8964 copyright protection240PENANAkpj4QAXjHa 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAv2J1yEJ3pl
8964 copyright protection240PENANAVSv7UAEL82 維尼
I was still very depressed but I drove to the park. It was the beginning of spring, the brown leaves scattered the ground, while the bigger trees leaves grew for shade. It was chilly enough that most people didn't want to be at the park so I was mostly alone. The pond was clear, the ducks swan and squirrels ran up trees. I found a bench near the edge of the water away from anyone. The sky was bright blue with some puffy clouds spread about, it was a beautiful day. 8964 copyright protection240PENANAJ8mZ9vtC5S 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANA40f8qYUVmv
8964 copyright protection240PENANAHqfiHXR4SE 維尼
Against my better judgment I was able to smile, It felt good to smile. I want to be happy again. 8964 copyright protection240PENANAZ5K5q5bA3p 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAVJB6xsvQvJ
8964 copyright protection240PENANA5yW4kBMDIA 維尼
But why? 8964 copyright protection240PENANAXcqcb11XH2 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAQ8rib0zWLU
8964 copyright protection240PENANAt9sJNJJ6A3 維尼
Is it possible for someone like me to be happy? In a world where only our bodies matter? This life where I live with a body like this? I loved him with all I am, in hopes he would love me back. 8964 copyright protection240PENANAStIafpgeyC 維尼
…….8964 copyright protection240PENANATtEVOXLsHC 維尼
…….8964 copyright protection240PENANAYryQazOI5H 維尼
…….8964 copyright protection240PENANAtjhTVspiRw 維尼
…….8964 copyright protection240PENANATpwwRe9x16 維尼
…….8964 copyright protection240PENANAR3ssf7J1DW 維尼
…….8964 copyright protection240PENANArfkYB4FzwL 維尼
…….8964 copyright protection240PENANAmd2qVFoOdr 維尼
…….8964 copyright protection240PENANAHjsV05CWXs 維尼
……..8964 copyright protection240PENANAFfXABb1LgO 維尼
……..8964 copyright protection240PENANAQTeQsHZBCU 維尼
……..8964 copyright protection240PENANAPMDumD0Vq5 維尼
……..8964 copyright protection240PENANANCQMLI4ek2 維尼
I want to keep living.8964 copyright protection240PENANA3CuSOOjHCw 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAjFXBRK9Otj
8964 copyright protection240PENANAJkpxk27mBo 維尼
I want to feel that happiness again…8964 copyright protection240PENANA9RcWiOJ5G8 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANACVx5IhHQZW
8964 copyright protection240PENANA0AebIUx7hH 維尼
Why did I want him to love me back, so badly anyway? 8964 copyright protection240PENANAIJ3OwyuAU7 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANACCu4JJlIWg
8964 copyright protection240PENANAOuZZ7So3vT 維尼
I hid behind the warmth he gave me, It validated me. I'm afraid of what I really am. I never loved myself.8964 copyright protection240PENANAsSPuVrnW4i 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAnHOuXqPciP
8964 copyright protection240PENANAY5QAYpGf1b 維尼
It's my body that I hate, because it has shaped my mind so. I never understood my body very well, not to mention myself.8964 copyright protection240PENANA8pmPBZwoFG 維尼
………8964 copyright protection240PENANAKsAddOvv9J 維尼
………8964 copyright protection240PENANAMJbvY3Ccd3 維尼
………8964 copyright protection240PENANANAtPi8KMZI 維尼
………8964 copyright protection240PENANA7nyDQixvmQ 維尼
……..8964 copyright protection240PENANA0sFyh2qJUR 維尼
……..8964 copyright protection240PENANAHmYJ1KaSen 維尼
………8964 copyright protection240PENANAIRxzBp2yUF 維尼
……….8964 copyright protection240PENANAPN8rMn2alx 維尼
……….8964 copyright protection240PENANAGgT09d4cDB 維尼
………8964 copyright protection240PENANARyawohbNQj 維尼
………8964 copyright protection240PENANAH4xKeAjXfD 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAqck0q0bR3L
244Please respect copyright.PENANA3YGRufmx1S
8964 copyright protection240PENANA2oa0YTJPKV 維尼
I can't control the way I was born, the feelings inside me nor what my body does. But I can learn more about myself, no matter how others look at me. I should be proud of myself, because I’m all I have.8964 copyright protection240PENANAI3bmzcZetf 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAVEAfLLZGBj
8964 copyright protection240PENANABqGWFsdaw6 維尼
I’m here, still alive, even without half my heart. 8964 copyright protection240PENANAuelteKxPXH 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAdG8kh5fu1G
8964 copyright protection240PENANAOdCug3JPTC 維尼
I’ll probably always have this hole in my heart, but I hope one day my heart may outgrow it.8964 copyright protection240PENANARyMyNr0fJS 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANAA9q73KXMiu
8964 copyright protection240PENANAU07nbhDmG9 維尼
I cried and cried beneath the cold beautiful sky, I was happy yet afraid of what might be within me. 8964 copyright protection240PENANAuoaxuWxjH2 維尼
244Please respect copyright.PENANApc1Uw6nO0B
8964 copyright protection240PENANAzNjnmekW12 維尼
8964 copyright protection240PENANARAC5u5pCbS 維尼
15.158.61.17
ns 15.158.61.17da2