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Skeletal remains fall to Earth
They were slaughtered in the sky
But while in life they fell
With contempt and fervour
In death, they are free to dance.113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHP7yIZpza
113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVloX4gzX2J
The pale corpses spin like ballerinas
As an encore to the indifferent crowd
Before laying to rest in mass graves
Knowing no warmth or comfort until they fade
Opuntia tapped her pen feverishly on her book, wondering if she was done with this poem or if she should write more. This was just one of the dozens of poems she had been copying down from her mind over the past week. Many of them she had rewritten and edited over and over again, with disgruntled crossing outs and notes in the margins of her pages. Christmas was over, and the new year now loomed over them, waiting to bring about more comfort or chaos. She wasn’t enjoying the seventies. The second half of 1970 was complete pandemonium, so she was now cowering in fear at what 1971 had to offer. More than anything, she wanted the break to be over so she could leave home, but she knew that would only mean her return to Arison, which was arguably worse. She felt like there was nowhere to turn to. She just desired to hibernate in that grey area in between forever, so even if she wasn’t happy, she could at least be at peace.
Smack. Opuntia flinched so hard that a huge blot of ink was swiped across her page. She hurriedly looked up to see a clump of fresh snow peeling itself off her window before falling to the ground. Someone had thrown a snowball. Opuntia leaned towards the window to spot the culprit and to her surprise saw a girl with dark hair, a worn winter jacket and flower-patterned purple mittens, currently making another snowball. Ida was here.
She noticed Opuntia looking at her and waved excitedly, motioning for her to leave her room and come outside. Opuntia hesitated. Both of her parents had gone out to see a last-minute showing of The Nutcracker, and Holly was currently getting lessons from her new tutor, an apparent Arison student that she desperately did not want to run into. She knew she shouldn’t be going out anyway, but with everything that had happened in the past few days, she could not bear to remain in this rickety house any longer. She slowly climbed out of her chair and headed to the door of her room, listening for any possible noise. She knew Holly and her tutor were in the sunroom at the back of the house, so if she was quiet enough, she could probably leave through the front door. She did just that, quickly grabbing boots and buttoning up her plaid collared coat as she left. The towering door creaked shut as an icy gust of wind greeted her exposed face.
Opuntia tramped around to the side of the house where she knew Ida was waiting. She had a feeling of what she wanted and was already preparing to deny her since she was afraid of her parents finding out.
She found Ida gazing off into the grey sky, her gloved hands now dripping with melting snow. She caught sight of Opuntia as she stomped across the yard, up to her ankles in crackling packing snow, and beamed at her.
“Hi!” She cried with delight, running over clumsily to meet her. Opuntia mustered up a smile in return but really felt like lying face first on the ground.
“I was just wondering if you had gotten my letter yet.” Ida began saying, “I know the weather’s been really bad the past couple of days so I figured it might not have come in yet.”
“No, I don’t think I have,” Opuntia said truthfully, but she was now focused on something completely different. Ida’s once tightly wound curls were now gone, and in its place were straight locks of dark hair poking out from her hat, swooped upwards at the end just like all the models did. Opuntia couldn’t help but point it out.
“Your hair, it’s different,”
Ida immediately began smoothing it with her hands sheepishly. “Oh, yeah, well, I just did it. I’ve done it before a few times but I had to save up to get it relaxed again. You don’t like it?”
“No, no, it looks really nice,” Opuntia quickly explained. “I just, I don’t know, I like your curly hair too.” Maybe Opuntia didn’t understand since she also had straight hair, but she had always admired Ida’s curls, even if they weren’t “in fashion.” They made her unique, which, now that she thought about it, most people did not want to be, even herself.
“Well, anyways,” Ida continued, tucking her hair inside her jacket. “I just was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out skating today. The next couple of days are supposed to be terrible conditions so this may be one of the last chances we can get before school starts.”
Opuntia sighed. Mink’s Lake was in the middle of town, and a very popular place to be. She knew she would inevitably run into at least one Arison student, and possibly even the ones she particularly disliked. Jeremy McCain, for starters.
“Uhh, I’m not sure,” she said slowly and watched as Ida’s face morphed into a pleading expression. “I kind of outgrew my skates a while ago, and I’m sure I’m really rusty,” she spoke in half-truths, but Ida quickly seemed to catch onto her real apprehensions.
“Well, do you want to just go for a walk, then? We can go back the way I came through the woods.”
Opuntia was still hesitant. One part of her still didn’t want to get into trouble and face even more consequences after nearly getting expelled, and then yelled at by her father. But the everlasting flame inside her, although very small at the current moment, was glowing its warm light on Ida and into the forest. She needed to escape, to be relieved of her shackles for a single moment, just to remain sane. Every time she saw Ida was a gamble, and even if she won nothing like during her trip to New Versine High, Ida was the thrill of the game.
“Alright, but not for that long,” Opuntia finally agreed. “Just until sunset.” She checked her watch to take note of the time before they scampered off into the trees, kicking up flurries that twisted their way into the breeze. 113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQs1YvAufPR
They walked in silence for a few moments, taking identical strides, Opuntia’s hands stuffed in her pockets and Ida’s swinging by her sides. Opuntia was taking in the scenery of the place she hadn’t been to in ages. The path itself hadn’t really changed, although mostly buried and only identifiable by previously laden footprints. Tall crooked evergreen trees were the only ones still holding onto signs of life, the rest of the spruce, maple and elm alike were barren, only coated in thick layers of stiff ice crystals. Every now and again, they would hear a lone call of some of the birds left for the winter, like a black-capped chickadee that timidly hopped past the pair as they approached. Ida whistled along with its call, while Opuntia foolishly wished she could follow it to its nest and remain there forever.
“So, how was Christmas? Good?” Ida finally asked her. Opuntia had been expecting this question but it didn’t make her any less uncomfortable to answer it.
“Uhh, yeah, pretty normal.” She answered lamely, stepping over a large tree root.
“How about yours?”
“Yeah, I guess mine was pretty normal too,” Ida answered with a shrug, crinkling the folds in her oversized jacket. “I’ve been working all break at the printing press, so you know, not exactly a break but it’s fine.”
Opuntia didn’t know this. She remembered just how little Ida’s family could afford, and then supposed it made perfect sense for her to work right through Christmas. But still, the thought of it made her feel guilty. Ida didn’t seem to care, however.
“How is the printing press? I’ve never seen it.” Opuntia asked, then suddenly felt stupid. There was no way something like a printing press could be anything close to good.
“I’m not on the actual machines, my brother is, but it’s not bad. It’s gotten me some knowledge to help out on the paper at school, and hey, I’d say it’s at least a start in the newspaper business.”
“Right, I forgot you said you wanted to be a journalist. You still do, right?” Opuntia questioned her. Ida grinned.
“You betcha,” she said with glee. “I still think I can work my way up somehow, even if it seems silly. But we’ve already talked about me. What about you, Opuntia? What do you want to do after graduation?”
Another dreaded question she didn’t want to answer. But this time, she answered slightly more honestly, looking away from Ida and through the trees, catching glimpses of other houses in the town.
“...I don’t really know yet.”
“Oh, that’s ok! I know lots of people with not a clue of what they’re doing. To be fair, I don’t even know if they’re gonna graduate by the end of this year so at least they’ve got a little more time.” She chuckled. But Opuntia didn’t see how it could be okay, though she did not voice this to Ida. She just kept quiet, walking down the winding path and watching her own breath freeze in the wind.
“Well, I may be biased, but if you’re looking for something close by I would say Bay Path College.” Ida continued. “I know it’s not very fancy like an Ivy League or anything. It’s small and an all-girls school, so it's totally different from what you’re used to. But it’s where I want to go if I can make it. So, maybe give it a shot. I can send you over an extra pamphlet if you want.”
But Opuntia didn’t even know if she was going to school. She didn’t know if it was her choice. She didn’t know if it was what her parents wanted, and she had no idea where her friends were going. But once again, she just brushed it off and thanked Ida for her offer.
“Sure, that sounds good,” she smiled.
“Groovy!” Ida replied, beginning her whistling again. Opuntia didn’t know how she had all that energy in her. For one, it was freezing, and she knew she had done nothing but work for these past couple of weeks. She couldn’t comprehend how, no matter what, the world would always be there to catch her fall like she was wrapped in a blanket of the softest fleece.
“Aren’t you cold?” Opuntia voiced her thoughts to Ida while shivering slightly.
“A little, but we’re almost there! I see the meadow up ahead!” Ida then took off into a sprint, or as much of a sprint as she could muster with her legs continuously sinking in the snow. Opuntia followed her lead, running until they came across an opening. A wide-open field with nothing to greet them but white. Nothing at all for miles, except for a familiar sight off in the distance, suspended in the air on top of that hill. Arison. Despite the change of season, Opuntia remembered this meadow well, back when it was full of vibrant green grass, wildflowers and the occasional thistle.
“Our kingdom,” Ida laughed as she pranced in a circle, taking in their wide open space.
“Opuntia, remember all the games we used to play here?” Opuntia nodded, suddenly being flooded with distant memories.
“Do you remember, you were lady…what was it, Damenny?” Ida asked, scrunching her nose in reminiscence.
“Damenome,” Opuntia answered, staring off at her school unblinkingly. Even from this safe distance, she still felt that pit in her stomach when looking at it.
“Yeah, yeah, and I was Princess Alice of the far lands or something ridiculous like that. Now, which one was cursed by the evil vampire? We were trying to get to his palace, which was that building.” She pointed to Arison Academy, conveniently not mentioning what it actually was. Back when it was just a prop in a game, and when Opuntia thought she would never set foot in it. Because that’s what was supposed to happen. And maybe then she and Ida could have kept playing these games, and she never would’ve felt as hopeless as she did right now.
“But I’ve never been here in winter,” Ida kept rambling on and on. “I think it’s the perfect place for a…” At that moment, Ida toppled over onto her back in the snow, making Opuntia jump with alarm. Ida laughed and began spreading her arms and legs.
“Snow angel…come join me!” She patted the ground next to her with ease.
“I don’t want my clothes to get wet,” Opuntia began to say, but Ida was pleading with her again. She had a way with words and puppy eyes that couldn’t be ignored.
“Come on, just for a second, the snow’s not fresh anyways.”
Opuntia sighed and slowly sat down to lay next to her. Her view was now pure grey. She immediately felt the cold jolt of the ground through her whole body and already knew her hair would be left soaking. But she lay there, slowly making her snow angel, letting her stomach heave with inhales and exhales. She just stared at the sky, letting it take her away for a moment. She nearly forgot Ida was next to her because she was just so lost in her own mind, the silence of the field and the almost comfort of the cold. Finally, Ida broke the silence, but this time in a voice soft and quiet.
“Opuntia, you’ve changed—a lot since we last came here.” The words lingered in the air for a moment, condensing and carrying themselves away into the sky.
Of course, Opuntia knew this. She would do absolutely anything to make it not true, to reverse time and reach into herself to find that bright little girl again who would kick groady boys and wear braids, but she wasn’t there. She had learned too much about the world, and what was expected of her and she had hidden away for good. The one who remained was just an empty shell, a marionette who would conceal everything until she exploded like an atom bomb, and just as quickly died out. She couldn’t see Ida’s face but she could tell she was looking over at her.
“I know,” Opuntia said reluctantly, closing her eyes and letting out a long breath.
“I don’t think it’s bad,” Ida said quickly, seemingly reading her thoughts. “You’re
mature, as you should be. Hell, half the time people are telling me to grow up and give up before I get hurt.”
But Opuntia didn’t feel that way. She wanted more than anything to be like Ida. To always have a smile like Teddy, and see that ray of sunshine even in the depths of winter. She didn’t feel mature. She didn’t think adults had no clue what they wanted 24/7.
“I don’t know,” Opuntia said again, her mind ringing. The silence that was moments before comforting was now pounding on her skull, and everything was trying to eat its way out of her piece by piece. All of her doubts, fears, concerns and questions that could never possibly be answered. She had to hide it. Good girls kept it in. As her mother said, it was ladylike to smile through the pain and giggle away the torture others put you through. She suddenly turned over to put herself face-first into the snow. It burned badly but she didn’t care.
“What’s the matter? Why are you doing that?” Ida asked, immediately sitting up to watch her.
“…I don’t know,” Opuntia was mumbling, her voice muffled. She didn’t know what she wanted. She didn’t know where she was going. Her friends were falling apart. Her family was trying to control her life and had expectations that were pulling her in every direction. She was suddenly supposed to decide who she was supposed to end up with when she didn’t even know what love was, and on top of that, she had no idea if she would ever get to find out if the ender was waiting for her when she got back to Arison. Everything was crashing down on top of her, and even if her face wasn’t buried in the snow, she still wouldn’t be able to breathe.
“Look, I’m going to be honest with you here, Opuntia. You really don’t seem to know a lot of things.” Ida spoke to her, and she could feel mittens grasping each of her arms and flipping her back over.
“But even if you don’t know what you want in life yet, there’s one thing you need to make sure of. This is what my momma always told me. You need to ask yourself: What would make YOU happy?”
She met Ida’s eyes and just stared up at her face. There was a lengthy silence once more as Opuntia thought about it. Lines were becoming clearer in her mind, sorting themselves through for the first time in a while, without even writing them down.
“I want to graduate,” she said simply. Ida nodded. “That’s a good start.”
“I want to fix my friends. I want to make us all like each other again. I need us to be okay.” Ida nodded again. She didn’t question anything she was saying. She didn’t judge. She just listened.
“I want to make my family happy. I want to find out who the ender is.”
That was it. Saying it out loud, it all sounded so simple. But she knew that getting there would be much more of a challenge. She repeated these four things over and over again in her head like a checklist. This was the most honest she had been to anyone for a very, very long time. This was the first time in a long time someone was just letting her listen, asking her what she wanted instead of deciding for her. She couldn’t tell Ida every painstaking detail of her thoughts right now, but she was taking it one step at a time. And it felt like relief. The drain was pulled out in her brain, and little by little, bit by bit, negativity and unknowing were leaking out of her ears and onto the ground. She somehow felt less afraid. She had a plan, even just a temporary one that would last for a few months. She knew what she wanted now.
Ida was still looking at her, pity seeping through every pore like the ice on her back. She knew she couldn’t judge what made someone else happy but, she noticed how Opuntia seemed to be reliant on making others happy before herself. Only then, after everyone else was pleased, would she be at rest. Usually, she would have no problem voicing this. Justine always said she had no filter, but she held her tongue just this once, knowing that a good journalist would let the story unfold itself before forcefully trying to get answers.
“Come on, let’s get back,” She sighed, standing up. “We don’t want that vampire coming out after dark, do we?”
Opuntia laughed a true laugh and felt her eyes squint from her open smile. Ida lifted her up with her flowery mittens and the two girls dusted each other off. As the sun began to quickly set over the meadow, bathing the glacius plane in a pale pink hue, Opuntia and Ida made their way back into the trees, away from Arison and to the Arison household. They found themselves talking more and more, trying to recall more memories of summers by the lake and games they would play. They dodged falling heaps of snow from the barren trees and chuckled at each other when they were hit. During this time, Opuntia realized another thing about herself: she couldn’t spend a life as a woman tucked away, forced to be polite and cross her ankles and be proper. She wanted to run a lot, laugh at jokes, listen to blasting music and yell without being judged. She didn’t want to be seen as too emotional for trying to live as a human. How could she pretend to be like a porcelain doll when the world had so much beauty to be gawked at, stories to guffaw over, and terrible situations to scream and kick at? She wanted to feel, she wanted to know. And she didn’t care if it wasn’t ‘ladylike,’ because standing there with Ida made her feel more like a girl, more like a person, than any moment from the weeks before.
They reached the old house with gothic spikes and towering turrets by the time civil twilight was upon them. Opuntia nervously peaked around the house to the driveway, but their Lincoln Continental was still absent, meaning her parents had not yet returned.
“I guess this is goodbye for now,” Ida shrugged.
“We’ll still keep in touch, right?” Opuntia asked her, now trying to erase their sets of footprints by shifting around the snow.
“Of course,” Ida said with ease. “I’m still your humble investigator no matter what. Actually, before you go, there’s something I kind of wanted to tell you.”
Opuntia’s neck whipped around to face Ida, holding her breath with anticipation.
“...You’re still sure you want to find out who the ender is?”
Opuntia frowned at her, suddenly nervous again. Had she not just asked her to put what would make her happy above all else?
“Yes,” She stated. This borderline obsession had been eating her alive for the past 4 months, and she could only see herself being fully content when they were yanked firmly from their perch in the shadows, and burned with the light and the consequences of their actions. She needed to know who, how, and most importantly, WHY. And now she had a feeling Ida was about to make that desire even stronger.
“Okay, because I thought I should let you know, that I’m pretty sure Michael’s transferred to my school.”
Not the ender, most definitely not, but the leader of his fan club. The seemingly deranged revolutionary who had such a hatred for the school, that he tried to take it out with full force. She had a feeling that he would be sent somewhere else, probably not a private school, but she didn’t expect somewhere so local.
“Well, is he trying to destroy more bathrooms? Gather more followers?” Opuntia asked hurriedly, desperate for answers.
“He seems…normal, I think.” Ida replied slowly, making Opuntia’s eyebrows furrow with doubt.
“I have a couple classes with him, and he hasn’t done anything out of the ordinary. He hasn’t mentioned Arison at all. He even has some school spirit since I caught word he’s being recruited for the football team for the spring season.”
Her mind was racing again. Her head tilted to one side, her eyebrows still furrowed. This may not be directly related to the ender, but it was another anomaly in this ever-connecting web of mystery Arison and its students held dear. She knew she couldn’t solve this alone, and just hoped beyond hope her friends would be there when the break was over, and they could work this out together.
“But there’s something else,” Ida added. Speaking more cautiously with every word, carefully studying her reaction. “The only strange thing I noticed was that he was spending a lot of time… with your sister.”
“...What?”
“I really didn’t want to make things weird between your family but I was worried and I promised to tell you everything,” Ida spoke quickly, anxiously twisting her straight hair around her fingers. Opuntia could feel her heart racing, but she couldn’t tell what emotion was roaring inside of it. Fear, anger, even just annoyance. But of course, the two pains in her side, Michael and Holly, were destined to find each other one day.
“Thanks for telling me,” Opuntia said, patting Ida on the shoulder with a frostbitten hand. “I’m gonna go inside now. But I’ll keep in touch, I promise. Tell me everything else that happens.”
“What are you going to do?” Ida asked her as Opuntia began backing away from her and towards the house.
“Hopefully get some answers,” she replied simply.
“Opuntia,” Ida called back to her as she was slowly being swallowed by the dusk. “Please just remember what I said. No matter what, you need to be happy.”
“Thanks, again. Thanks for everything.” 113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhyGaAAfy7
Opuntia had one main target when she entered the house. She felt like a bullet, heavy with lead and antimony, soaring towards her goal. But it was quite simple, because as soon as she creaked open the door she had hit it, dead centre.
“See, I knew I heard someone leave,” Holly was waiting for her in the sitting room, her legs crossed and her cheek resting on her hand lazily. She was illuminated by the warm firelight, her light brown hair now looking orange. Opuntia didn’t even wait to take off her coat, only her dripping wet boots. She marched up to her sister and looked her dead in the eyes.
“You cannot be serious,” she started, not being able to articulate her words correctly.
“About what?” Holly replied innocently, shifting on the velvet cushions to get more comfortable.
“Michael Deangelo, that’s what,” Opuntia blurted out, now placing herself in front of the fire to warm her hands. “You can’t tell me you don’t know who he is.”
“Oh, you mean my boyfriend.” Holly smiled, as Opuntia’s jaw fell open.
“You’re--you,” she spluttered as Holly laughed.
“Dude, relax, it was a joke?” She said with ease. “And I don’t see why you’re talking, since you have about four of your own. Or is it five now?”
“Ok, they’re NOT my boyfriends,” Opuntia said with gritted teeth, balling her fists at her sides. “And you need to stop telling people that.”
“Fine, fine. They’re friends. And Michael is just that: a friend. Capeesh?”
But Opuntia still shook her head. She didn’t think Holly knew everything about Michael, because, how could she? But she was sure she knew he went to Arison and was expelled, due to father probably ranting about it at the dinner table. She just didn’t understand what Michael was up to in befriending her. If he knew who she was related to.
“Look,” Holly said, standing from the couch to face her. She was three inches shorter than her and had probably stopped growing by now, but with her hands on her hips, she might as well have towered over her since she was perfectly capturing a Mordred expression. “You don’t tell father that I’m friends with his school’s delinquent, and I won’t snitch that you snuck out. Deal?”
“Fine,” Opuntia said quickly. “But that just proves my point. You know what he’s done, so why risk it? How do you know he isn’t going to use you if he knows you’re related to Father and me?”
Holly groaned, an incredulous look on her face. She clearly didn’t want to be having this conversation.
“Is it really so hard to believe that someone wants to be friends with me, and not everything has to be connected to you?”
Opuntia was dumbfounded at these words. She had come to her with concerns, and Holly had twisted them in her mind to come kind of insult. She felt like she had to do a sudden reassessment of her own character.
“No, that’s not what I meant,” She explained, but Holly’s demeanour wouldn’t budge. “This is Michael we’re talking about here. He probably hates our whole family as much as he hates the school. I mean, do you even know why he was expelled? I just, I don’t want him hurting you as some kind of low-down revenge.”
Holly was now looking out the window, her face more neutral but her arms tightly crossed across her chest.
“I don’t know, Opuntia, he seems normal now. Whatever went down at the academy was in the past. I’m sure he’s just trying to graduate and move past it, that’s what it looks like to me.”
“Well, you have to tell me if anything happens. No one can just build up a cult in the school, trash it, and then become totally square. If he ever mentions Arison or something called the ‘coven of Caliban’, you have to let me know, please?”
Holly rolled her eyes at this request. “I don’t have to tell you everything about my life.” Opuntia knew that, as Holly didn’t tell her anything anymore. “Why should I tell you and not Father if he says something like that?”
Opuntia pondered what she could say next. Of course, she could attempt to explain to her everything that she was feeling. The initial fear she felt at seeing her own name written on the floor of the school in blood. The alienation Michael and his peers had put her through for the past six years. The indescribable and insoluble need to have her questions answered. But she knew who she was talking to well, so she needed to speak to her in a way she wouldn’t just understand, but would appeal to her.
“Ok, ok, here.” She proposed. “You know those green shoes I got for Christmas? The green tie shoes?” Holly nodded slowly. “Well, they’re yours, if you keep me informed. Deal?” She echoed her sister’s speech and even held out her hand to solidify it.
“Fine. But I’m not copying down every conversation. Only if he mentions the school or that weird coven stuff you just said. Nothing else.”
Opuntia walked away, feeling satisfied with her newfound control, over Michael’s strange return into her life and, to an extent, her own emotions. She still didn’t want to return to school, and she still didn’t want to stay at home. But she didn’t want to simply exist in that grey space anymore, either. She had her four things: graduate, help her friends, make her family proud, and uncover the ender. She supposed Ida was right. She deserved to be happy and these things would make her happy, right?
But maybe, just maybe, the only thing she needed to be happy was to lay with Ida, and everyone else she loved in a frozen meadow. That would take more time to understand.113Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4dMMDMCDE
