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Chapter One
Long floppy furry ears waved through the air as leporidites twirled and pranced upon royal red carpet. The young females were scantily clad in thin colorful scarves and thongs, details which did not go unnoticed by the one who sat in a golden throne; a majestic throne sat at the head of a short staircase that overlooked the leporidite dancers and none other than King Salizard lounged upon it. The orange scaly lacertyle swished his tail with excitement as he twisted his snout into a leer. Golden robes with elaborate red designs struggled to contain the massive king’s form. His long tongue flicked out and slimed his reptilian eyes; he was not going to miss his favorite event of the day because of poor vision.
Meanwhile, the royal nobles and loyal palace servants watched warily from their positions further within the expansive room. Massive windows stretched across the royal court’s perimeter, allowing light to fall on the forms of these elegantly dressed courtiers. A large banquet table rested a short distance behind the leporidites, filled to the brim with succulent delicacies from all across the realm. Two courtiers stood nearby the prepared feast. Both of these citizens were youthful and small—but that’s where their similarities ended, for every other aspect of their individualities were polar opposites. One of these two had a more striking appearance; she was a black felinyne clad in a gorgeous red robe. Her youthful compatriot was a fluffy white ovisary who wore a spectacular green outfit that was buckled across his waist.
The two showed no interest in the food, their eyes fixated on the leporidite dancers and the leering Salizard. However, unlike the king, disgust filled their eyes as they watched the sensual display. The leporidite dancers were as shameless as they were beautiful; shaking all the right places as they cast mesmerizing gazes upon the king. Salizard seemed to be in another world, his eyes glazing over as drool dripped from his mouth, and he extended his hand—squeezing it closed over the distant vision of a leporidite posterior shaking back and forth.
The black felinyne issued a low hiss as she turned to her companion, her crimson eyes filled with disgust. “How revolting.”
“It truly is,” the white ovisary whispered. “But keep your voice down. If Salizard hears you—”
“I kind of hope he does,” the felinyne whispered. “I doubt that fat lizard can fight to save his life—he’s such a slob that I bet he needs servants to lift his majesty’s royal ass from the throne.”
“Kitara,” the ovisary whispered, glancing nervously around the room. The courtiers weren’t alone in their attendance of the event; massive lacertyles obscured in heavy golden armor maintained watchful positions throughout the area’s perimeter. Two incredibly imposing guards stood beside the king himself, each wielding a giant silver spear.
“I know, Lambert,” Kitara replied in annoyance. “There are guards everywhere. That’s what makes this mission tricky.” She flicked her eyes toward the leporidite dancers. “I won’t make a move until Bunnie strikes.”
Salizard breathed in deeply, gripping his armrests as he panted like a caninyne, unable to blink as he watched the leporidites twist and jiggle and sway. Well, the king couldn’t blink anyway—his species was incapable of such things and thus he relied on his tongue, but that tongue was busy waving through the air and making crude gestures. He could barely contain himself—he himself had called for this royal celebration, but a part of him wanted to dismiss everyone so that he could have constructive alone time with the dancers. And who could blame him? The dancers were very good at what they did—they shook all the right places and moved in perfect unison. Perfect! Perfect … well, except for one leporidite who stood a head above the rest and was bundled heavily, concealing everything except her pink ears and a sliver of her ankle beneath brown cloth. Her blue eyes could scarcely be seen amid all the layers wrapping her face, but the traces of a scar crossing her left eye were visible. Her movements were rambunctious, loud, clumsy, and awkward. Maybe this was a result of her powerful legs that remained prominent even beneath her modest outfit, or perhaps it was that she was shaking her body too hard—her movements lacked any semblance of seduction because her shaking gave her the semblance of a broken washing machine, and even the shaking of her bum lacked any grace and seemed … how do I put this? Vulgar.
Yes, even king Salizard was disgusted and horrified by this peculiar leporidite’s dancing, whose bowel movements—my apologies, I meant buttock movements, but the dancing was so grotesque that it couldn’t help but bring the former to mind. He gasped in outrage, pointing a finger at the offensive female.
The leporidites paused with uncertainty. It wasn’t uncommon for the king to select one of them to sit in his lap. However, this action always heralded the end of a royal gathering, because it didn’t take long for Salizard to lose control of himself. After all, the king was obese from his constant indulgence in carnal desires, and his relationship with his harem was no different. Unfortunately, being chosen by the king also heralded the doom of the unlucky leporidite … because the lustful lizard had a thing for virgins. But I digress. I’ll let the story explain itself because it would be a shame if the omniscient narrator spoiled everything.
Looks of fear flashed through the leporidites’ big beautiful eyes. All of them were terrified except for one, who possessed the gleam of lust in her eyes. No, no, no—I didn’t mean that one weirdo; I meant bloodlust from the modest yet vulgar leporidite.
“My kingliness!” the modest leporidite exclaimed, bowing courteously. Her voice was scratchy but loud; both traits further detracted from her feminine appeal. Wait—I sense disgust from you at my mention of feminine appeal. Is it because of my vivid descriptions of leporidite beauty that you distrust me so? I am but a humble narrator who describes matters as they are! I have an innate appreciation of beauty, and being an omniscient narrator, my tastes are highly cultured and objectively correct. So let’s get back to the story without any further disruptions from uncultured fools.
“I am so glad that you’ve chosen me!!” the modest leporidite continued. “I’ve been practicing these dance moves all my life!” She held her gloved hands close to her face as she cast a teary admiring gaze upon Salizard. “All my life, I’ve dreamed of being your play toy! I’ve dreamed of the day when the great Salizard lowers his sweaty, smelly, fat, hairless form upon me!” She gasped as she held a hand to her brow. “Oh, I think I’m going to faint! I’m getting too excited just thinking about it!”
Salizard gaped silently for a solid three seconds, then his scales shifted to a bright red color as he slammed his mouth shut. He swept his wrathful gaze across the court. “What is this mockery! Who dared to bring this hideous leporidite into my sacred harem! I’ll have their head on the platter alongside this foul rabbit’s!”
“Hideous?” the modest leporidite gasped. “You’re hurting my feelings.”
“Silence!” Salizard roared. He jabbed a fat finger at her. “Seize the wench!”
The room’s guards converged on the modest rabbit, pointing their halberds and spears at her menacingly.
“Finally,” Kitara breathed, grinning as she reached for an object inside her cloak.
“Stop!” the slightest of the leporidites threw herself to the ground at the foot of the throne’s staircase. “Milord, please spare her for speaking out of turn. My foul sister knows not what she speaketh.”
The remaining leporidites gazed at their desperate compatriot in shock.
“Happy,” one of the leporidites whispered.
“Hmph,” Salizard grunted. “What gives a slave like you the authority to ask anything of your king?”
“I grant you my body and my life,” Happy said.
Salizard chuckled harshly. “Your body and life already belong to me, you wretched slave.” He grinned wickedly. “Although, I must admit that your pathetic display was amusing. For that reason alone, I’ll be merciful and spare your sister from execution.” He glared at the modest leporidite. “Seize her, sever her leg, and cauterize it with a burning poker and boiling water. I will have that leg for supper tonight.”
“How about no?” the modest leporidite said. She threw aside her shroud, revealing a tightly muscled body cloaked in pink fur with exceptionally muscled thighs. Both of her arms were cybernetic prosthetics; twin robotic appendages composed of polished metal. She shrugged, glancing down at Happy. “I appreciate your efforts, sister that I’ve never met until today, but I’m not going to comply with the demands of a monster like him.” She grinned at Salizard. “I’m Bunnie the assassin. I’ve come here to kill you, Salizard. You’ll never catch me, and I’ll be having a lot more than your leg for supper when I catch you. I’m a fantastic cook, but I’ve yet to boil a frog.”
“Kill her!” Salizard shrieked.
Bunnie braced her massive legs as the guards charged toward her, then effortlessly sprang outside their encirclement, soaring far and landing behind the tables.
Kitara glanced at Bunnie, an anxious look in her eyes.
Bunnie winked at Kitara, then sprang once more—crashing feet first through a window in an explosion of glass.
“Find her!” Salizard commanded, pounding his fists against his armrests.
“Yes, Milord,” one of the guards said, bowing before Salizard. He was a gray lacertyle who wore an eye patch over his right eye, and he towered over the rest of his comrades. “As Captain of the Elite Guard, I’ll make sure that foul assassin meets a painful end. Is there anything else I can do for you, your Majesty?”
Salizard breathed heavily, anger and fear swirling in his reptilian eyes. “How could this happen? An assassin?” His eyes flitted toward Happy and calmness returned to his demeanor. He met the Captain’s gaze with steely eyes. “Saliman. Escort everyone from the palace. I wish to spend some time alone with this concubine of mine … who dared to intercede on behalf of that assassin.”
“Understood,” Saliman said.
The guards began ushering everyone from the palace, herding them towards massive golden double-doors.
Kitara and Lambert walked at the front of this pack.
The black felinyne’s red eyes were filled with confusion. She spoke quietly with Lambert. “Bunnie didn’t give me the signal. I’m not sure what the plan is now.”
Lambert gave her a tight-lipped smile. “I’m sure we’ll figure something out.” He glanced back toward the throne, where Salizard leered down at Happy, who stared up at him with terror in her wide eyes. “I’m mostly worried about her.”
“I don’t think there’s anything we can do for her,” Kitara whispered. “I want to take down that slimy bastard, but I can’t jeopardize this mission for her sake.”
“We’ll just have to hope that he doesn’t kill her,” Lambert said. He grimaced. “But it’s awful to imagine what he’ll do to her once they’re alone.”
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