Mentally ill. Sick in the head. Troubled. Stupid. Violent. Crazy.
Imagine being called that on a daily basis. I’m a bad kid. No doubt about it. I am mentally ill. I am sick in the head. I am troubled. I am stupid. I am violent. I am crazy. What is anyone gonna do about it? Teachers have tried. They gave up. Doctors have diagnosed me with any mental disorder ever. ADD, ADHD, Anxiety… I can’t even keep track of the other ones. My parents, well, they don’t do anything cause they don’t give a flying shit about me. They just work all day and all night. They barely have time for me. Who cares though? I don’t need them. I have no friends at school. Everyone just tries to provoke me so I get an “outburst”. An outburst is when I freak out or something. I punch people, kick people, bite people, run around the school, kick teachers in their dicks, and many more. Like I said, I’m a lost cause. What’s anyone gonna do? I walk into class and everyone whispers and laughs upon seeing me. Shitbags. Everyone in this class is a huge asshole. I try not to pay attention to them, but I can hear what they say…
Oh, look! It’s the crazy kid!
Troubled kid.
Violent kid.
Stupid kid.
I would care, but, 1: I don’t care and 2: I’ve already come to terms and accepted this description. I’m fine.
Narrator
Jason Campbell is a 15-year-old boy. He was diagnosed with many things, like, ADHD, ADD, anxiety disorder, and many more. His parents work so much, that they can’t care for Jason. Due to the lack of attention, Jason acts out. He does crazy thing to get his parents attentions…Punching Patty Lin in 3rd grade until she bled out of every hole in her body… Kicking Alexander Terry’s knees so hard, he was in a wheel chair for three days, followed by 6 days with crutches… Kicking Mr. Mark’s dick so hard, he retired. Jason doesn’t feel anything about this. He’s not proud, but he’s not ashamed. Jason is one of those rare people who will probably become a psychopath in the future. He doesn’t know how to handle his feelings, because no one has ever taught him, so he acts out. He acts out a lot. For Jason, this is normal. But, today, it’s the 4th of November, 1996., and Jason is about to have the surprise of a lifetime…
Noah
Oh, gosh. My first day at New Hampshire high. Wow. I just moved here from Manitoba, Canada. I’m really happy to be here, but not really. I miss my friends. I miss ‘em a lot. I walk into the school. It’s big. Really big. Holy shit. Back at my old school, I was the “Man of wax”… I was untouchable. So popular, not a soul would even dare insult me in any way. I walk I to the classroom. Shit. All the seats are taken. Oh, wait… there’s a free seat next to this boy. He has dirty blond, tousled hair and deep brown eyes. I smiled to myself as I sat down next to him. He looked ahead, mumbling to himself. I thought that was kinda weird, but I didn’t think twice about it. I put my hand out.
- Hey, there! I’m new here…my name’s Noah, you?
Hey didn’t even look at me. He continued angrily mumbling and looking ahead.
- Um, okay…
He was then startled and stared at me for an uncomfortable amount of time.
- W-we’re you taking to…me…? He asked.
- Um…yeah.
- Oh. Sorry. People don’t usually talk to me. You just caught me off guard. I’m Jason Campbell.
We shook hands.
- It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jason Campbell. I smiled.
He didn’t smile back. He just stared at me, tired look on his face.
- Uh… okay then. I said, awkwardness present in my voice and features.
He completely ignored me and stared ahead, mumbling again.
- Hey, Jason, I-
- Could you just stop?!?! Could everyone stop trying to fucking provoke me all the time?!?!?! If you want a “hurrah” for your first day, look somewhere else for entertainment! He yelled.
I was confused. I think confused was even an understatement. I had no idea what was happening. I just stared with my mouth agape. He stared ahead, slightly pouting and glaring. What the fuck did I do?
Jason
Of fucking course. This new kid wants a reaction out of me. Well, I’m not giving it. Too bad for him. He…I mean, no one ever talks to me. No one’s ever nice to me… he is the first. But it’s obviously not genuine. He just wants to see me flip out, like everyone else wants. Just another shitbag. Just like everyone else. Everyone is the fucking same. I’ve learned to tune them out, most of the time. The teacher walks in. She smiles to everyone before clapping her hands.
- Alright, everyone! Today is a very special day… we have a new student! Stand up, and tell us a bit about yourself…
Noah stands up shaking a tiny bit from timidness.
- Hi…I’m Noah Brown…I used to go to a school in Manitoba, Canada. I play some football and soccer, and I do art.
People from the football team whispered. The school soccer team all smiled. The art team turned their heads toward him and each other. No doubt about it, his popularity was going to shoot up immediately. Then he’d really just be another shitbag. Exactly like everyone else. He sat back down and smiled at me.
- Do you think they like me? He asked.
I didn’t feel like getting into the whole; well, you’re classic vanilla, so I’m sure they’d love you. Especially if you treat me like an object. That’ll make you soooooo cool.
- I dunno. Maybe. I said.
He nodded to me and looked back at the teacher. This is gonna be a long fucking year.
Noah
As I guessed, my popularity immediately shot up. I was the coolest, most adored kid in school, and it’s just been one day. Everyone liked me. Every single person. They treat me like gold. They don’t wanna say anything slightly off to me so I don’t…slash off their heads. So, I’m back to being the “man of wax”. The untouchable. Damn. I mean, it’s nice to be loved, but they walk on eggshells around me. It’s…I don’t even know how to describe it. Something I was curious about, though, was why Jason Campbell didn’t like me… Everyone likes me. Suddenly, a blonde girl ran up to me.
- Hi, Noah. I’m Amanda. I’m in the art club…
- Oh yeah! I loved your horizon painting! I said.
She blushed.
- Oh, thanks…I-
Someone bumped into me.
- Oh, I’m sorry, I-
I cut my sentence as I realized who it was.
- Oh, hi Jason! I smiled.
- Whatever.
- Are you-
- It almost seems like you’re doing this on purpose. He said with anger.
- Doing…what?
- Ugh, just leave me alone. He said, rolling his eyes and walking away.
Huh. That was weird. I watched him a bit as he walked away.
- So, as I was saying…I wanted to, maybe-
- Why’s he like that? I asked, not wanting to interrupt her, but, not noticing she was talking due to the fact that I was deep in thought.
- Oh, Jason Campbell? She asked.
- Yeah.
- Just…stay away from him. He’s batshit crazy. Once, he kicked a teacher in the balls so hard, he retired. She said.
- Oh…why is he like that?
- I dunno. Sick in the head. She shrugged.
- Maybe he just doesn’t know how to handle his emotions. I suggested.
She laughed.
- Naw, he’s just troubled.
- I really don’t think-
The bell rang, signalling the end of the day.
- Ah, shit…I have piano classes in 10…I’ll ask you my thing tomorrow! She said, waving and walking away.
Alright. No one will give me a straight answer then. There’s no way he just is crazy. He obviously has something going on at home. I feel bad for him. Poor kid. I walked over to the bus. Once I got in, almost everyone had a pair… except Jason. I smiled and took this as my opportunity to talk to him a bit. Clear the air. I want him to know that I’m his friend… I don’t want to provoke him. As I walked toward where he was (the back of the bus) I heard my name being called.
- Noah!
I turned to my side and saw some brunet kid. He patted the seat next to him, signalling me to sit. I guess I’ll talk to Jason later.
- Hey! Remember me? He said.
- Um…Josh? Captain of the football team? I said.
- Yep! What’s up?
- I dunno…
He talked of something, but I wasn’t paying attention. I made eye contact with Jason. He looked at me with confusion and a bit of anger. I smiled and microscopically waved. He looked side to side as if he was checking to see if I was waving at him. Once he realized I was, he just looked at me.
- Noah?
I turned around toward Josh.
- Y-yeah?
- You seem…distracted…is everything-
- You know that Jason kid? I asked.
- Jason Campbell? He asked.
- Yes. What’s his…what’s his deal?
- Yeah, he’s the crazy kid.
- No…I mean, I don’t think anyone’s just crazy. There has to be a reason behind it.
- Who cares?
- Well….he keeps saying that I’m…provoking him? What’s that supposed to mean?
- Oh. When he gets angry, he has these outbursts where he gets very violent. The kids like to provoke him so he gets outbursts. It’s really funny! You should see one.
- It’s not funny. Jason is a human being.
- What are you talking about? He doesn’t feel anything…he doesn’t care.
- That’s not what I see. I see someone who’s trying to put up a brave front, but deep down… He’s angry. He’s sad. He’s betrayed. I said.
Josh stifled a laugh.
- Whatever, bro. He said, rolling his eyes.
I looked back over at Jason. He looked out the window looking slightly agitated. I… I wonder how I will befriend him.
: Jason
As I suspected, that one guy Noah’s popularity shot up immediately. He’s now the school’s most adored boy. I’m not surprised. I sighed as I stood in front of my front door. I took my house key out of my pocket and put it through the slot. As I walked in, my parents weren’t there, of course. They work all the time, so they never come home. Well, they do, but only the times that I’m asleep. I sat down, taking a protein bar. I only had time to take one bite, when the doorbell rang. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, but my protein bar down, and headed toward the door. Once I opened it, I saw some blonde lady. She was smiling all suburban-like.
- Hello! I’m Rachel Brown! I just moved in next door… Where are your parents? She asked.
- They’re not here. I said, not smiling.
- Oh…well, when they get back, give them this pie. She said happily passing me a store bought apple pie.
- Okay…Hey, can I ask you something? I said.
- Of course. She said.
- Do you have a son?
- Yes.
- Is his name by any chance Noah Brown? I raised an eyebrow.
- Yes, that’s my son! She said, smile never leaving her overly obnoxious face.
I stifled a laugh and rolled my eyes, mumbling a little “of course”.
- Alright, well, thanks for stopping by. I said, obviously fake smile spreading o my face as I started to shut the door.
- N-No, wait! I-
I shut the door in her face. Her slight mumbling could be heard through the door. I laughed a bit to myself before looking at the pie. There’s no way my parents are gonna know about this. It’ll just be my dinner. I do not know how to cook…therefore, I scrummage for random shit that I can stomach. This pie will do. I opened the packaging and pawed at it with my fork, sighing. I’m not lonely, just bored. I picked up my Walkman and played my cassette. I listen to mostly rock… I like bands like, Wool, Nirvana and Buffalo Tom. Once people find out what kind of music I like, they immediately count it as part of the problem.
“Rock isn’t good for the brain! Makes you even more unstable. Try Beethoven instead.”
“So, you’re crazy and you listen to rock? That can’t be good…”
Except, this people don’t have an ear for music. What they don’t understand, is that, music calms down the mind. Even if the song is heavy metal with the most amount of profanities you could possibly find, it will still calm you down, if that’s what you like. Music is my source of escapism. That’s how I escape my shitty life. The shitbags at school, my parents, my family, everyone. It’s nice to have something like that. That’s why I think that the people who don’t like music, are the real psychopaths. Yeah, they call me that sometimes. “Psychopath”. Like Ted Bundy, or something. But, I’m just a kid. I feel shit. I care. I just care for smart things and not bullshit. Therefore, I’m a psychopath. I’m slightly off the path of normal. So I’m crazy, mentally ill, troubled and a psycho. That’s the kind of society that we live in. Fuck it.
My mother walks in through the front door with the most deathly confused expression. She left to go give our new neighbours a pie.
- Mom, what happened? I asked.
- I-…he-…
She’s never looked this confused. My sister, Liz, comes downstairs.
- Did you give them the pie? She asked.
- Th-They-…I-…
- Mom, TALK TO US!!! I said.
- There was this…little boy. No parents around. Little brunet. Dirty blond you could say…he took the pie and shut the door in my face.
I snorted a bit.
- This is funny to you, Noah? My mom said.
- A little…yeah.
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. I was about to walk away, when she called my name.
- Oh yeah, Noah!
I turned around.
- Yeah?
- Do you know him? He asked bout you.
- What was his name?
- He didn’t say… He asked if my son was Noah Brown. When I said yes, he shut the door in my face.
- Oh… Well, I don’t know who that would be. I said.
- Maybe go check on him in a bit…not right now, because I just bothered him, but in a bit.
- Ok. I said.
I left to my room. Once I closed the door, I picked up my Walkman and played my favourite band, Buffalo Tom. They’ve always been my favourite along with Wool, Nirvana and Helmet. I like rock songs. When I tell people I like rock, they don’t believe me. They say “it doesn’t fit my personality”. But does it matter if it fits? I like it. That’s what matters.
. . .
I stood in front of my new neighbours house, curious. I rang the doorbell with caution and hesitation. My eyes widened upon seeing Jason open the door.
- Oh! So you’re my new neighbour! I smiled.
- UUGGHH!!! Wasn’t sending your mom ENOUGH punishment?!?! He groaned.
- I-…I don’t understand why you’re so mean to me, Jason. I just want to be your friend-
- BUT THAT’S IT!! YOU DON’T WANT TO BE MY FRIEND!! Why would someone cool a-and popular and beloved want to be my friend. He said the last part looking to his side dramatically, like a Star-Wars movie.
I raised an eyebrow, then began talking. He immediately turned back toward me, still slightly angry.
- Because there’s more to you, Jason. You’re not crazy or ill or sick in the head. You’re Jason Campbell. And that’s pretty fucking cool. I said.
His eyes widened, but he didn’t smile. I broke the silence.
- Can I come in? I asked with a smile.
- Sure. I guess. He said.
I walked in. It was slightly messy, but not too much. It was a very homey household, the smell and feeling was nostalgic.
- Where are your parents? I asked.
- Hm? Oh. At work. They work till late. They don’t come home until midnight or something. He said.
- Oh. I’m sorry.
- It’s fine.
We sat down on a couch that had a coffee table in front. On the table, was a Walkman with the Buffalo Tom cassette inside.
- Hey! You listen to Buffalo Tom?! I said.
- Oh. Yeah.
- That’s my favourite band!!
His eyes widened and he smiled ver so slightly.
- Me too!! He said.
We both let out a small breathless laugh.
- I also like other bands, like Nirvana and Wool. He said.
- No way!! Those are also my favourites.
He finally let out a full, dorky, lopsided but meaningful, smile. I stared at that smile for way longer than I should have. Once I realized this, I cleared my throat and looked away.
- Oh, and I also like Helmet. I said.
- Oh? Never heard of them. He replied.
- Damn you broke our streak! I laughed a bit and so did he.
- Rock still?
- Yeah. Wait, I’ll just go back home and get my Walkman real quick so you can listen.
- I’ll time you. What’s your record? He smirked.
- 1 minute and 30 seconds. I replied.
- Fuck off. You seem like a slow-ass person.
I felt a warm feeling inside of me. No one spoke to me like that. Not even playfully.
- I swear!
- I will time you. I got a stopwatch.
- The I better run. I joked.
He laughed and picked up his stopwatch.
- One, two, three, aaaaaaaand…
He paused for suspense.
- GO!
And I bolted to my house.
I smiled to myself as a sat on the couch. I checked the stopwatch 1 minute and 28 seconds. If he doesn’t get here soon, he won’t beat his record. A small thought crossed my mind. He’s…he’s coming back, right? Obviously…Well, maybe not obviously. It Ould be a genius plan. Get me to let my guard down, play Mr. Nice guy, say that you’re leaving for a second, and never come back. Oh God. He did that, didn’t he? Of fucking course, he did. Who would want to hang out with the crazy kid? That’s the last time o trust anyone. No one in this shitty world is to be trusted. Everyone is so fucking dumb. I can’t rely on anyone. I’m fucking alone in this world. And-
- *pant* did I do okay? *pant*.
Noah ran in, tired and out of breath. I sighed with relief.
- Uh…it took you 3 minutes.
- Shit. My mom was talking to me. He laughed.
- Excuses, excuses. I rolled my eyes playfully.
He laughed. Noah handed me the cassette.
- Voilà. Helmet. He said.
We put the headphones in between us so we could both hear. It started playing.
Sit there pathetic194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpNUOrnI1w
Admire myself194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLm3E0brlg
Pass offers of great sex194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRBCfpfVIx
No threat, the evil goes, gone
The song was nice. I liked it enough. Yet, I barely paid attention to it. I kept throwing secret glances at Noah, who was singing along a bit. Mouthing, with some words coming out.
Pig, fuck your eyes wide194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRz4wMkBIwI
Once lead, gone shy194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEv6T6Ii6J
Not a thing in common194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5kuIOAtS3
She looks just like a boy, boy
Noah seemed really into it. His head bopped and everything. I couldn’t stop looking at him. I felt something inside of me. Something that I’ve never felt before. it was strange…I’ve always never been a fan of company. People are just not my thing. But this feeling made me want to have company. I wanted… I wanted Noah to be my company. I didn’t want him to leave. He smiled a radiant smile as he still didn’t give a single glance toward me. I stared, noticing every detail in that boy’s perfect face. I still didn’t understand this feeling. I didn’t notice the song change.
Earth tone suits you194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡde3DjEWf6q
So give it a smile194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjsR5gHa8Y
If I could hold your feet down194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLY84u4Eds5
Get to know for a while
As those lyrics played, that’s when Noah looked at me. He noticed me staring. I decided not to take my gaze off him in embarrassment, but just keep looking. He smiled a bit. We just sat there, staring into each others eyes. The song ended and the Walkman made a weird beeping noise. We looked away from each other and Noah cleared his throat.
- I, uh, I guess the cassette is done… he said.
- Uh, y-yeah.
- Damn, it’s 8:00 pm. Shit I didn’t even have dinner…I gotta go. He said, getting up.
He handed me the Helmet cassette.
- Take it. Give it back to me tomorrow. He winked.
I smiled.
- Thanks.
And with that, he left.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
