Dear Martin,199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcm0voycan
What to say? Your smile is brighter than life, and it shines brightly, even in dark situations like this. How's Germany? Not great, I suppose... America's not doing great either. I do hope that you do not read this to anyone or let anyone read this. I've heard tales of...men like us... getting murdered for existing. Homosexuality might not be good, but what we have is good. I love you... and I miss you. I miss you a lot, in fact. I do hope you are safe and well. I don't think that I could live with myself if something happened to you, even though it is probable. I've heard the horror stories of men in Germany... But anyways, to give you a small update on life back in the United States, my wife has fallen temporarily ill. She will be fine, I hope, but she's not getting better anytime soon. I don't think I can live like this much longer. My heart belongs to you, but I have to pretend that it belongs to her. Do you know how that feels, Martin? Gosh... It's terrifying. I just wish I could be myself, even if society doesn't want me to. But you don't want to hear a sad story, you're probably living through the saddest story of your life. If it makes you feel any better; I'm thinking about you. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. I love you so much and I just can't stop thinking about you. I even debated flying to Germany, but I knew that was just stupid. I wouldn't leave my safe(ish) country to go to the heart of the war, where you are bravely fighting...I don't know. I just miss your face, your eyes, your smile... I wish you were here, holding me like you used to. I miss the way you used to look at me. Like everything was going to be okay, even though I knew it wasn't. I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I miss the way you reassured me. The way you made everything okay. Everything was going to be alright. But now you're gone, and I've never felt more lonely, even while I'm surrounded by others... I feel unsafe and uncomforted. I await your return like a dog awaits his owner. It's almost embarrassing... Do you also await your own return so you can see me again? Maybe... I hope so anyway. It hurts to be away from you and it hurts to not be able to give you my full time and attention. I'm sorry for not being fair with you in that way and I love you so much. More than it seems and more than you could ever know. Even if you don't feel like I do, sometimes, I need you to know that I really, really do. Please be safe and don't forget about me. I know that deep down, you feel the same way; you love me too. I wish you the best of health and the best of luck...199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBuxMXDi3p
With the sincerest of love,199Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeAgNV3zY3
- Clay
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