「你還可以嗎？」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJPRmWmC8G
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6Co2MpDMG
「無法不可以。」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJFQdnUFd9
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3J4hILwMt
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyg3exR4ns
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDa1a19tF85
「謝謝你。」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgVn0Unp6o
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjruUW4do2
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLphObnYe0l
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡengfnfCVHr
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8bJT4Reda
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs142HTr52O
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT72DuVc5AF
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7CXl8IeHN
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFeHusikreh
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ru5iD08kG
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqoJAcE2Po
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sE0ctH7lK
「老婆……」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6AToMtG8r
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDct2Lj3zW
「有困難？金錢？」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlSgymxSiD
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPltYNm1gV
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPzFEYSpkh
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRxvy2nstj
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXe8cMZbL09
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ189M5j1qzD
「嗯。」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7sjTTZXuR
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBV4hD7rAG
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7oWWOqEsIY
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXthXUCZOD
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbqh4Kh7jE
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tkDhX30nU
無能。無力。無奈。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpmKgQebEb
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdVRlg4udA
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuQpAD70Ho
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJmBaZgBvW
剪不斷，理還亂。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOytkBmy8fi
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyIGZhJsTUp
勿剪，別理。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6CAQPzPfG
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnmNc94oIb
待時日將其化解。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zc105uI3J
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegKVU4wFN2
莫操心。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYGYSknMfY
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsooySl92j7
莫操心？573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTFKgWdN6R
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMkCcx5s3n
如何莫操心？573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZ2jY9h3LO
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoPy3OkogTD
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMIrkLi70V
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiKlYNJZlr
撐多久？如何撐？573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyn1bRzqiwV
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzGWWaMxhd
不知道……573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bKXeSlCXs
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhg952EAIK
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAI4cjh0umI
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfU70R1Nez
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhtBskJR85
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GfZthLoJn
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoWYnSyIpn
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5JMRolIIi
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNsrCjFeYy
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm43Kv8oUhG
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45jvIEMRzH
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDGETS3t9T
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvS31rZDZN
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEmw0uYbwG
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbBt2ENsSw
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMjURHpV2H
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4883kvc2lS
我笑。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfgpoUBk6K
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3w7aNOuof5
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfs6sDqJpn
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7BPFEhD3d
忽爾不想回家。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xM5ZTsiTF
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpuHcTr6pFd
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CnXugpnNd
「好的。」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYAIowbdi9c
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxmYP44Sm4
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIk6UNlMUkN
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ1XaQoA7z
只會苦了自己。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHLStFWhE3
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPEzSXajWT
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGRttjp3ch
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACTiwiyRmG
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfj7M9Yg3K
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8uGwjAPih
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWQHpFOaAE
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcIggvOMTG
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcB6KVo5n2V
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YzYeOoIcf
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqelSXokoH
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUJAxHrED0
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwnyIJe78B
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TnOTFkNtn
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOovjodwjG
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDgWBGydoL
一、二、三、四、五……573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnKXDo2wow
註：573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GUtURxjcy
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKvk0gqorY
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMeX14zdY1
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdvPbzuRmH
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1roWv2KKZ
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHRxGp2L2g
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tNsbjYpOD
573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IxJBCdwfT
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》573Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRsnFIBrSN
