「你還可以嗎?」557Please respect copyright.PENANAO8Bx8nbfJ8
557Please respect copyright.PENANA3lgtNrp94U
「無法不可以。」557Please respect copyright.PENANAbpSk8TPVQD
557Please respect copyright.PENANAVT8FWfErsS
「如需幫忙,來找我吧。」557Please respect copyright.PENANA5LgBPiAK5X
557Please respect copyright.PENANAQN76mr6xGL
「謝謝你。」557Please respect copyright.PENANAtN3gzjklRp
557Please respect copyright.PENANAxH4tvKZE6G
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯,概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱,一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙,我除了感激,更多的是恥感。557Please respect copyright.PENANALVXcPmHv11
557Please respect copyright.PENANA4C3Q7txALk
唉!多講無謂,反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。557Please respect copyright.PENANACoi8Lc7j1r
557Please respect copyright.PENANA3wum0m2djF
疫情關係,全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子,早已節衣縮食,積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著:工作日數減半意味薪金減半。557Please respect copyright.PENANAtrFDcItCCG
557Please respect copyright.PENANAcTGkMOLiPT
供樓開支無法削減,父母醫療開支不能削,孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……557Please respect copyright.PENANANzt76yxmh3
557Please respect copyright.PENANAwR7X7wQN8G
飯後,兩老早睡,兒女溫習,妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。557Please respect copyright.PENANAGhyvurTWYt
557Please respect copyright.PENANAt1KhIm0NWm
「老婆……」557Please respect copyright.PENANAeK7rNhLYC1
557Please respect copyright.PENANAEhI2H3KhhS
「有困難?金錢?」557Please respect copyright.PENANAKIqyVKHWLD
557Please respect copyright.PENANA4IJmSxen3v
妻子搶佔發言先機,內心不安的我更覺虛怯。557Please respect copyright.PENANAgRWkQv6JZh
557Please respect copyright.PENANAgOuxOa5hVk
「是。明天開始,只需星期二、四上班。」557Please respect copyright.PENANAmndVmAZMJn
557Please respect copyright.PENANAffKJOdfUza
「嗯。」557Please respect copyright.PENANAEposKYwQWE
557Please respect copyright.PENANAlzoTVADesU
妻子沒再多話,專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外,卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實,也就只得接受和硬撐,呼天搶地無補於事。557Please respect copyright.PENANAMCjsduStBw
557Please respect copyright.PENANAXlzZk5BKEB
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。557Please respect copyright.PENANACYJ5IamVPT
557Please respect copyright.PENANAYVDeOjMjtv
無能。無力。無奈。557Please respect copyright.PENANA0Wr6tdEOj7
557Please respect copyright.PENANAA4D8CQVN0k
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。557Please respect copyright.PENANAVPvi8JtkOM
557Please respect copyright.PENANAyOd7tQnFwJ
剪不斷,理還亂。557Please respect copyright.PENANAcmIBVNzVuT
557Please respect copyright.PENANACBz5yQ8GTE
勿剪,別理。557Please respect copyright.PENANAmVmJALxFac
557Please respect copyright.PENANAuJLlobqDpn
待時日將其化解。557Please respect copyright.PENANAMshhIufmo6
557Please respect copyright.PENANAyAZGZlzncD
莫操心。557Please respect copyright.PENANAGRY3C0UfLt
557Please respect copyright.PENANAkbQrcDrlX6
莫操心?557Please respect copyright.PENANAXrn8SCfAo4
557Please respect copyright.PENANAa4KdcGGKMt
如何莫操心?557Please respect copyright.PENANAgUZkBaee0V
557Please respect copyright.PENANAhV129HdzAL
我知道困境必定會過去,但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。557Please respect copyright.PENANAtsAFhOErZD
557Please respect copyright.PENANAipUazCIveE
撐多久?如何撐?557Please respect copyright.PENANAmlmgxES0qu
557Please respect copyright.PENANAqMUFYylTp0
不知道……557Please respect copyright.PENANA48FpYDWGVE
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減,辦公室冷清不少。557Please respect copyright.PENANAlOT1BW5giY
557Please respect copyright.PENANAqrR9QMiapf
有人若無其事,有人變得寡言,有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何,公司繼續營運,世界繼續運轉。557Please respect copyright.PENANARFdB1JoqL0
557Please respect copyright.PENANAhAHQSDSRYp
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞,骨瘦如柴,神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物,飢腸轆轆。絕望?誰管你的!天地蒼茫,白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在,北極仍是北極,我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。557Please respect copyright.PENANAIqjoQRrABK
557Please respect copyright.PENANAYY0yQ341BK
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸,白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯,菜心苦黃,排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧!不了,豉油不是必需品,不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。557Please respect copyright.PENANAK7TGIvv9ja
557Please respect copyright.PENANAaspJQlp2SX
下班時間,加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量,也不代表工作進度可以放慢。557Please respect copyright.PENANAA8AR8NZxHo
557Please respect copyright.PENANAHt6yIsAJa8
每次想及時間、日子,位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼:它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了;它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目,接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來;它在教導我人生大道理,一寸光陰一吋金,吋金難買寸光陰,更何況加班沒有加班費……557Please respect copyright.PENANAYUtGOVN2D2
557Please respect copyright.PENANAeVXkULPhd0
關機,正式下班。心情太壞,說服不了自己留下來。回首,同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解,但無法奉陪到底。557Please respect copyright.PENANAY1l7wz2Amo
557Please respect copyright.PENANAX7rtE4POZB
大街上,人影疏落,商店無燈。車站無人,想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃,在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花,演唱會螢光棒,無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸,床頭小燈,被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控,只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累?是吧。557Please respect copyright.PENANAOLOi9FH65C
557Please respect copyright.PENANAtzDXIHzbvI
我笑。557Please respect copyright.PENANAuxVryHBSUa
557Please respect copyright.PENANAbo0wY1nfkz
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。557Please respect copyright.PENANAzBeCVbcYB4
557Please respect copyright.PENANAcFb0Ax2iuj
忽爾不想回家。557Please respect copyright.PENANAsGB4nyfni4
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」557Please respect copyright.PENANABOqzes554y
557Please respect copyright.PENANAVSDbHHL6YP
「好的。」557Please respect copyright.PENANAu0Ql8pzyic
557Please respect copyright.PENANADodI1MSnrq
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵,皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥,微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從?是否只得接受?不順從又如何?不接受又如何?557Please respect copyright.PENANAb3fOpaL1vp
557Please respect copyright.PENANAj7QdLH7x1o
只會苦了自己。557Please respect copyright.PENANATW1hH84DyQ
557Please respect copyright.PENANA9msFchOg0x
努力改變過,極力掙扎過,然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。557Please respect copyright.PENANAfyO33I6YxQ
557Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5ccyxx0mq
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。557Please respect copyright.PENANAMcMUQd2pgY
557Please respect copyright.PENANAo0JvUXdh96
浴後,睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著,光源自窗外滲入,剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲,以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子,如怪物,如鬼魅。557Please respect copyright.PENANACi6TfGhWqF
557Please respect copyright.PENANAVsPPlK8wdv
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題?」557Please respect copyright.PENANA47G75314Ue
557Please respect copyright.PENANAnb3TmqjECs
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」557Please respect copyright.PENANAWhc1ARm5Lm
557Please respect copyright.PENANAAisaKOyIRh
妻子乾笑一聲,側身面窗睡去。557Please respect copyright.PENANAw7QLKtJpSD
557Please respect copyright.PENANAzHVdtz9MAD
我實在笑不出口,呆望天花數蟲子。557Please respect copyright.PENANAO577xT5ehE
557Please respect copyright.PENANAmBirgC2bHR
一、二、三、四、五……557Please respect copyright.PENANAVSwwMdkfO4
註:557Please respect copyright.PENANA3pE3THS88g
557Please respect copyright.PENANAc5qTkx4PyS
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢?」557Please respect copyright.PENANAfmexscURPy
557Please respect copyright.PENANAy1eLJM6gAH
我認為大家除了關於物質上(例如金錢、生活質素)、生理上(例如生命、健康)及心理上(安全感、與親友相聚的快樂)的失去,還有自我認同(例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判)的失去。557Please respect copyright.PENANAdOCqlemvpo
557Please respect copyright.PENANAVZGKNKZWSs
未必關乎大是大非,每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓,足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害?誰知道。557Please respect copyright.PENANAaQc4tWY8ZA
557Please respect copyright.PENANAIIAhOtjBt6
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》557Please respect copyright.PENANAd4pxiuGHvp