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──所謂的完美,不過就是由許多失望與絕望組成的,你知道嗎?24Please respect copyright.PENANAYr3O0iHgHw
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──那麼,請讓我跟赤司君一起,在失望與絕望裡尋找希望吧。24Please respect copyright.PENANAfC9ZLKsibp
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曾經覺得赤司征十郎和黑子哲也像兩條平行線,他們的世界大相逕庭,兩個不同世界的人怎麼也不可能會有交集。可是生命中總是有那麼多的意外,當不可能碰上不可能,似乎也會有負負得正的效應,於是乎,毫無防備地,林蔭大道下耀眼發光的人就闖進了他黑子哲也的生活裡。24Please respect copyright.PENANAELsdcVfxz1
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不只闖入,更一點一滴的滲透。就像溫水煮青蛙,緩慢卻漸漸融入每一吋皮膚,當他回過神來的時候,已經無法移開追尋的目光了。那已經變成一種本能,已經是一種習慣,已經扎根而無法拔除。24Please respect copyright.PENANAk8BQXQH6d9
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他喜歡看著赤司的眼睛,喜歡在不斷流轉的波光裡尋找赤司變化萬千的思緒,僅僅是看著,他也能感到溫暖。所以當赤司俯下身子凝視著自己時,黑子選擇遵循自己的心之所向,如同他對赤司的承諾─全盤接受,沒有懷疑。24Please respect copyright.PENANAB2txpCWVp8
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因為這個人是赤司征十郎,很特別也很重要,特別到產生了親近的慾望,重要到想與其分享喜樂、承擔哀怒。24Please respect copyright.PENANAXJ0angdy1B
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“在想什麼?哲也最近老是喜歡看著我的臉發呆呢。”24Please respect copyright.PENANA1csTOtncPz
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原來自己的“偷窺”赤司早就看在眼裡,黑子也不意外,“我在想,赤司君很像洋蔥,當剝開一層時,裡面又有一層…每一層都藏著不同面貌的赤司君呢。”24Please respect copyright.PENANADHcDgsQKAS
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“哲也,你真的很有趣呢。”赤司俯下身子,將頭靠在黑子的肩膀上,因為距離過近反而讓黑子看不清楚赤司的表情,柔軟的髮梢落在黑子脖頸間,像羽毛劃過,所及之處都帶起輕微的顫動。24Please respect copyright.PENANAGwZxZYEFxn
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不過,並不討厭。24Please respect copyright.PENANABiXRbSIdHJ
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那麼,赤司也會跟他一樣嗎?24Please respect copyright.PENANAYSK80N6Qra
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他的字典裡不會再有猶豫的,往前吧,這才是黑子哲也。24Please respect copyright.PENANA8i9OHg8GSF
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懸在半空裡的雙手慢慢環住上方的人,黑子有些不自在,動作也顯得僵硬,他能感受到赤司瞬間繃緊身體的訝異,他甚至沒有看向赤司的臉的勇氣。但他不會後悔這麼做。24Please respect copyright.PENANAKAXUDr6lAA
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或許有些笨拙,不過,從赤司默許這一切的靜默看來,他的真實,想必已經傳達了吧。24Please respect copyright.PENANAtWuP0nPJvH
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“哲也,你知道嗎?”維持了這樣的姿勢許久,也沉默了許久,赤司終於開口了,“你若把洋蔥剝開,是會流淚的。”24Please respect copyright.PENANAwdWYL4BwY6
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“嗯。”24Please respect copyright.PENANABeX9wIiLx3
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“所以,當你見到最裏層時,或許你早已淚流滿面。”24Please respect copyright.PENANAY4sJapAblP
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“嗯。”24Please respect copyright.PENANAoCt1enjYpY
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“我不會輕易相信任何人,即使交出真心我也未必能給予回應。”24Please respect copyright.PENANAbWuI5MgP4U
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“嗯。”24Please respect copyright.PENANAWC4Kdl3QIy
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赤司的口氣很輕很柔,如夢似幻,話中的現實與冷酷卻像刺一般扎人,這一刻他才明白,最深沉的寂寞會麻痺一個人。站在赤司的旁邊俯瞰著世界會是怎樣的風景?他想他看見了,不是寂寥的灰,不是抑鬱的黑,那個世界是一片白,一片虛無。是一種難以言喻的麻木。24Please respect copyright.PENANAJAGEYFLaCg
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黑子垂下眼,他明白赤司從來都不需要同情或是安慰,僅是收緊手臂的力道,將千言萬語化為單音節的回覆。24Please respect copyright.PENANAftmYgeoRX3
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“所謂的完美,不過就是由許多失望與絕望組成的,你知道嗎?”24Please respect copyright.PENANA2T6VxuR8Cq
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眼角酸澀的感覺,就如同剝洋蔥,而現在,赤司正一層一層的將它剝開,有種想流淚的衝動,但他沒有哭,也哭不出來。他早已忘記怎麼哭了。24Please respect copyright.PENANA3HitcwbLdf
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原來他們是一樣的。因為憧憬一份難以取代的特別,所以更害怕有一天將面對失去。不是沒有面對脆弱的勇氣,只是在等待、在期許,有那樣一個人能讓艱難的面對變得容易。24Please respect copyright.PENANAIKjTE0vQEe
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他早已忘記怎麼哭了。是啊,怎麼能哭呢。24Please respect copyright.PENANAUw5ps5HjhK
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“那麼,請讓我跟赤司君一起,在失望與絕望裡尋找希望吧。”24Please respect copyright.PENANABguvuyjquN
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迷失了方向又如何,看不清出口也沒關係,他永遠不會迷失自己。想要守護的東西若是變多了,那就變得更加堅強吧。不僅僅是要追上赤司,更要與之並行、一起成長。24Please respect copyright.PENANA3DXX5rauM7
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緊貼的胸口傳來洶湧澎派的跳動,這算是激動還是悸動,黑子一時也分不清。他下意識鬆開手,想知道平時冷靜優雅的人著上激昂的色彩會是怎樣的面貌,可赤司怎會給他這個機會,明顯力氣較大的赤司很容易就掌握整盤局面,只需一拉就能讓黑子從擁抱變成被擁抱。24Please respect copyright.PENANAzf3VkaKTVh
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“赤…”黑子呼吸一滯,這種像是要被對方揉進身體裡的力道,已經遠遠超乎自己想像。放在赤司胸口的手本能地想推開,卻無法動作。一直認為擁抱能帶給人的就是安心,看來,這些想法又再次被赤司所顛覆了。24Please respect copyright.PENANAybD9OjvT80
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疼痛被更強烈的情感淹沒,無法動彈,不是不能拒絕,是因為不想拒絕。24Please respect copyright.PENANAsSgIXsblkC
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“如果找不到的話,哲也會負責嗎?”一貫溫柔的聲線略帶著沙啞,幾乎貼著自己耳朵的呢喃惹得黑子一顫,連回應都走了神,“呃?”24Please respect copyright.PENANAd6XOOcwBnQ
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“如果說我不要什麼虛幻的‘希望’呢?”額間的幾縷髮絲被掠起,黑子終於看見赤司的臉,以及那閃著熠熠光輝的眼睛。24Please respect copyright.PENANA3VFRLnNOh7
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“那麼,赤司君想要什麼?”黑子並不知道自己能給赤司什麼,雖然他已承諾自己能交出所有信任,可那也是赤司口中所謂虛幻的東西,老實說,他的確是毫無頭緒。24Please respect copyright.PENANAUyGIq80Z7T
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赤司搖搖頭,“其實我什麼都不想要,沒有生命的東西我不要,有生命的東西又怎麼能用‘想要’這個詞?”24Please respect copyright.PENANAuT9yE6QvE2
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“赤司君是指…”喃喃低語時黑子倏地明白了些什麼,輕易地就將談話引導到自己預料中的方向,或許這也是赤司所設的一個棋局吧。恍惚間,赤司不急不徐的聲音在耳邊響起,滿是撩撥心弦的輕柔,“眾裡尋他千百度,驀然回首,那人卻在,燈火闌珊處。”*24Please respect copyright.PENANAOdZlTzgaDk
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倒映在赤紅雙目裡的錯愕是如此清晰,微啟的唇抿起又張開,黑子只是看著赤司,看著落在自己身上的視線在溫柔與深遂裡不斷變化。24Please respect copyright.PENANAGPeJgC5fGV
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“哲也的古文成績一直都不錯吧,我想,應該不需要翻譯了。”他的怔忪已然是赤司想要的回應,赤司彎起嘴角,與他拉開了些距離。“時間也不早了,早點休息吧…哲也?”24Please respect copyright.PENANASMFKZbgfZc
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“我…”須努力壓抑才能讓聲音不被顫抖所主宰,眼中所見只有自己手中緊攥的赤司的衣角,不自覺又加重手中的力道,“我會努力的,為了成為赤司君所需要的存在。”24Please respect copyright.PENANA5Xvjk5X292
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“我說哲也,你是不是搞錯什麼了?”24Please respect copyright.PENANAOFKipEYZkK
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“嗯?”24Please respect copyright.PENANAhRUtSCXwhM
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下意識抬眼,正好對上赤司微瞇的一雙眼睛,溫和的笑意裡竟閃爍著邪惡的精光,“應該是相反哦,哲也,從來都不是我會需要誰,而是對方會自己主動需要我,所以…你準備好交出全部的自己了嗎?”24Please respect copyright.PENANAZm3UTwHBiq
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絕對的自信落在一般人身上或許會顯得狂妄自大,但足夠強大的人就能背負起這個詞彙本身的重量。赤司征十郎毫無疑問地屬於後者,沒有任何的違和,所謂的自信在此人面前不過是陪襯的用途,只是為了讓赤司散發光芒而存在。24Please respect copyright.PENANA9WIDv6XH0W
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“這也會是赤司君預想中的發展嗎?” 24Please respect copyright.PENANAGoeL2JwozN
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“是我所看見的未來。”24Please respect copyright.PENANAhbTC1Vnvog
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“是嗎?”不容置喙的霸道是無形的,但還是不知不覺在黑子的臉頰上留下些許熱度,黑子注視著赤司不發一語,半晌,突然笑了。“那說不定我會顛覆赤司君的未來。”24Please respect copyright.PENANAY2MQiys4z1
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赤司征十郎能將預言變成事實的能力,黑子從不懷疑。但他還是想看看不一樣的未來,能夠由自己所主導的未來。24Please respect copyright.PENANA1gbY6wcFI9
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“那我會很期待的,哲也所說的‘未來’。”24Please respect copyright.PENANA0QsqIk0AVZ
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“我也是。”24Please respect copyright.PENANAsz4FoKqIYO
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一句話就能消弭的徬徨,在充滿變數的未來裡顯得微不足道。一個眼神就能趨散的不安,又怎麼動搖他根深蒂固的信任?24Please respect copyright.PENANAyD0eqzjaAp
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驀然回首,那人卻在燈火闌珊處。24Please respect copyright.PENANA0RiLc4nM7H
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“我想,我們是一樣的。赤司君。”24Please respect copyright.PENANAqN9qIj15UQ
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TBC24Please respect copyright.PENANAqRidjOcqD2
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*出自辛棄疾-青玉案24Please respect copyright.PENANAbq6uIAyiGR
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謝謝點閱及閱讀~其實這篇文章一開始就沒有大綱,完全是隨興寫的,沒想到能寫到這,自己也覺得很神奇! (゚3゚)~♪24Please respect copyright.PENANAt5aHKQ1IqY
希望原作不要再虐赤黑啦!!誰說赤黑只能虐啊啊啊~~24Please respect copyright.PENANAc1McHBIz5g
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