Step by Step:
1) On the track, his mind, blessedly, is clear of everything. The only thing he is aware of is his sweat running down and his breaths deep and measured. Yesterday, before he fell asleep in the earliest morning hours, he was not doing so well. If you had asked him why, he would have told you that he was simply tired, exhausted even. Truthfully, it was much more than that. In his mind, he thought about all of the things he had failed to do that week and all of the seemingly insurmountable tasks he had waiting for him in the next week. In his heart, he nursed the accompanying pangs of regret and worry that were laced with a heavy dose of self-doubt. In his body, he felt his muscles stiffen and his senses growing numb. He had constantly carried the weight of these various pains for the past 14 days; at this point, he knew no other sensations or feelings. A light, dreamless sleep overtook him after a while.
2) In his bed, his mind is hazy, trying in vain to hold on to sleep. He woke to the warm glare of sunlight blazing a path in his room. He turned over in his bed and closed his eyes tighter against the blinding light, but the glow was insistent and his eyes couldn't unsee it. In the next moment, his ears registered the sharp, unmistakable twitter of birds outside his window. This was a spring morning that would not be ignored. Drowsily, he slid out of bed and pulled his baggy shorts out from the pile of laundry at the foot of his bed. His eyes scanned the room for his worn track shoes. As he laced them up, he began to mentally prepare for what he was about to do next. This meant putting pressure on himself with a bit of convincing and a bit of forcing. His last thought before he headed out the door was a critical one about how unforgivably lazy and he had seemed to be recently. Discipline, that was what he needed.
3) On the edge of the pavement, he is uncertain, mentally contemplating the possibility of going back the way he came. After all, he told himself, it had been at least two weeks since he last tried this. He had just finished a really rough week as well. Lastly, he thought of all the things he would rather be doing on such a lovely morning aside from huffing and puffing, sweating and smelling. Hell, he could go back and do something else just as productive like folding and putting away all those clothes on his bed, if only to fall back asleep in it. But then, he remembered how it felt the last time. He recalled his heart and lungs filling up his chest and the pleasant ache completely permeating the muscles of his legs, back, and arms. With every step he takes and every breath he makes, he feels fully alive and he thanks himself for this moment of clarity and validation. In the present moment, he squinted into the sunlight and felt his skin soaking in the warmth. He had come this far already. There was no going back.
4) On the track, his mind, blessedly, is clear of everything. The only thing he is aware of is his sweat running down and his breaths deep and measured. In a run, no step is harder, heavier, or more stilted than the first, but he has already left that far behind him. He is also past the initial agony that comes from his mind and body, each in its own way but working in harmony, convincing him to stop this unnatural routine. But he keeps going and each second of expended effort brings him closer to that oft-spoken of runner's high, a state of Nirvana that all exercise junkies crave. He keeps running, running through each and every barrier mental, physical, and otherwise that he had made for himself. Sooner or later, he feels that he was born to run. His movements become smooth and graceful and he has already made it to his 8th lap. But he certainly isn't counting because his mind is a complete void at this point. Everything he thinks and feels is defined by his fluid movements and steady progress around the track. He keeps running and he starts to experience his surroundings in a new way. His lungs take in big gusts of fresh, crisp air, the sunlight doesn't bear down on him but envelopes him in its warm embrace, everything he sees and hears on all sides of him (be it a squirrel, dragonfly, or a bed of flowers) presents itself with perfect clarity because he can now experience the world the way it was meant to be: in motion. He keeps running. A bystander might have easily failed to recognize the overwhelming stimulation that comes from running around in circles, but he is past all of that sedentary consideration. He is not just running, he is flying. Together, his mind and body take him places out of himself and his limited daily corporeal experience.
5) After some time on that track, his mind is still clear and his body begins to signal fufillment and completion. All things, particularly states of bliss, are temporary and this runner must now come back to ground level now that his time is up. As suddenly as it started, he crosses an invisible, arbitrary finish line and his pace descends from a run to a trot to a steady walk. At this exact point in his morning, he expected to feel spent beyond all reckoning but he honestly feels as if he could keep running and keep the irresistible sensation going. However, one of the many things running has taught him is to keep all things in moderation. Besides, there is a great feeling in the end of his run that must also be savored. In his body, he feels fully present in himself. Internally he burns and aches and outwardly he radiates heat and stink. In his heart, he feels gratification, confidence, and exultation. He feels lighter than he ever has, and his flushed face with its lines of relief reveal his triumphant spirit. In his mind, he is planning out his day on his renewed energy and he briefly, just briefly, considers when his next run will be.
ns 15.158.61.20da2
