1、假设御天迷路了，然后遇到了漂流。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGQ3jPx2Ty
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsko7J4Bn9G
漂流：又迷路了吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiilrGcFBV
御天：切，我只是在闲逛，你滚远点，风景里有你都变差了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgWx8mEOKw
漂流：要去哪儿啊，我送你去呗。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2DOZ75KOZ
御天：都说了你滚滚滚滚滚！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfc29mDzKX
漂流笑而不语，一会儿道：我跟剑鬼消息了，他说你们在小雷酒馆集合，这都差了大半个城了，你怎么能迷到这儿来的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDsDWn0RyA
御天：要你管！我跟公子要卷轴过去。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREP3taQ5kK
公子（消息）：卷轴5000金。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2SqAEk1Nf
御天：QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGymXiKwtl
漂流：你看，所以说还是我送你过去吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWmLjeM53g
左手&右手一齐点头。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsyGvCPFK7
漂流：今天的风景挺好的，我们走走看看过去好了。反正你已经迟到了，也不差再晚一点。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9wogdJuxc
御天：……你他妈走就走！拉我手算什么！给我放开！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiVLkWbjqn
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdd1ZbmB9hs
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWa6rVwvFWv
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmnJ1hFa0e
2、有一天，大家一起在小雷酒馆喝酒。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6trEMKdM7X
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1V9rqKc7L
公子：小雷，这酒不错，再来两杯。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcO4Dbk5sp
小雷：好~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukRV2PsFZo
御天：公子好像已经喝了好几杯了，怎么还要喝啊。酒有那么好喝吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MdwqJ8J0P
战无伤：这是大人的爱好，小孩子你就不懂了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93vH5YFBSv
御天：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpl1vbsOS85
佑哥：不过公子喝了那么多……我算算，大概得有5000金酒钱了吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9Zx1hK0PL
战无伤：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XIYN29SQz
剑鬼：重要的是，待会儿我们好像有任务，他喝成这样我们还能做任务吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRad57Z5T2
众人：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bRz7d1l2S
公子已醉，面色红润，东倒西歪。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcsPXO4HoV
佑哥：那个，要不谁来阻止一下他？（小声）反正我是不敢……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQL0YOprvCF
战无伤&御天：我也……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzCPkfTxqM
剑鬼笑而不语。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5XQfC3hgn
千里：一群人婆婆妈妈的是不是爷们啊，我来！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibDeYET9de
众人：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkm8Ai8Us6O
千里（一把夺走公子手中的酒杯）：公子，别喝了，要做正经事，赶紧的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOatz8lbqd
公子（媚眼瞪来，看似秋波暗送，实为横眉冷对）：还来。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZVhOpiMg9
千里：别喝了，这都几点了，做完任务我还赶着下线呢。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9R9NZ79PM
众人：切~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4F895Kwie
公子（不断往千里身上靠，伸手去捞酒杯）：还来。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5xTiiyJ0W
千里（慌乱状）：喂，你别乱来啊。大庭广众的……你给我下去，下去。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BCBrQy3Li
公子（整个人都坐到了千里的身上，蹭来蹭去）：还来。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpK9iVo70Xz
千里：擦！你们别光顾着看，帮忙啊！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4soEzRoYD
众人：你爷们你自己搞定。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDY0EqNbID
千里分身无术，只得趁乱自己把酒给喝了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFFGYr7b6Q
千里：好了好了，走了走了，做任务去。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1nBjEeRUe
公子：嗯？这里好像有酒的味道，是藏在这里了嘛？（摸着千里的唇）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkj8fsHYm2
佑哥&剑鬼默默看向两边，战无伤蒙住御天的眼睛。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YfMcCvvXl
御天：干嘛蒙住我，我要看，我要看。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWVVNZKNWs
公子按住千里的脑袋送上香吻一个，千里瞪大着眼睛看着公子妖孽的面容近在咫尺。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9lO2Z52Cm
系统：您的心跳过快，为了您的身体健康，系统将在十秒后强制离线，现在开始倒计时，十，九……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQqYNgxYkn
于是只见白光一闪，千里从酒馆消失了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4FLKhqUfx
公子：切，怂货。小雷~再来两杯酒。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjBNZkKVjL
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgNmB3GRNo
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv2AiotSrB
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFJkgVBFQe
3、和漂流一起做任务。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ543Vy0iyvi
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYMZQyGfqh
御天：为什么这个家伙会在这里！！！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvJg4VG7uz
剑鬼：咳，漂流是过来帮忙做任务的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZYtbyEf5G
御天：强烈要求把这个家伙踢出队伍！他一定是来当奸细的！奸细！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeF7IsP2ns
剑鬼：好了，我们来谈一下这次任务怎么分配。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSFo05RTPj
御天：……QAQ（被坐在旁边的漂流微笑着顺毛）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAf4EQJ2SM
公子：这一次的任务是千里弄来的，啧，又是一个越级的奇葩任务，线索也不是很明确。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCm0un7sza2
千里：嘿嘿。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7H7FNZdaAO
公子：首先是主城沙漠古城的北部有一个教堂废墟，根据任务提示，里面应该会有线索。剑鬼和千里去那边调查一下，随时在频道里报告情况。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfaFg1vjoO
千里&剑鬼：好。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZEC3yJtKV
公子：接着是所谓城外有关海市蜃楼的传言，那是我们最终要去的地方。佑哥和战无伤一起去打探一下，找一下有没有入口。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nklnVzSiv
佑哥：包在我身上了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6zJwciGFg
公子：然后是那个强盗寨子，剩下还有谁？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWhUMcMpuV
御天：我，我。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlPfp5fvlz
公子：嗯，那你和漂流一起去打探一下情况。左手也去，右手和我留在城里做接应。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlZsKE1Flr
御天：我反对！我不要和这个家伙一起行动！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvE7pBk9DB5
公子：反对无效，你能自己找到寨子的位置吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BqiRNNx97
御天：……QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8DfKbZn8p
公子：好了，那就出发吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMg1NETf6CM
公子掏出卷轴，白光一闪，众人便从小雷酒馆里消失了，随后九个人便一起出现在了主城沙漠古城里。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAmYjaW5ky
御天：公子，可不可以我和佑哥去查海市蜃楼，战无伤跟着你，让右手和那家伙去寨子，反正他们三个人经常一起行动。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmOhydyYkc
战无伤：我去！我难得一次不当保镖我容易吗，别跟我抢啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqC9dWuPFr
公子：漂流他们都看不到佣兵团频道，联络起来不方便。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aZxT3HSpy
御天：那，那我就跟战无伤换，让战无伤跟着那家伙好了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aauUdFkUY
佑哥：别啊，带你去，到时候我是找入口还是找你啊……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMi70KNrzCR
御天：……QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWqlL9wYlP
于是漂流开开心心地搂着呆滞中的御天出发了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWOoLrDOwG
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oAwXHWhM3
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxNiBpkGdO
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG6Ln5FfgQ
4、和漂流一起埋伏。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclZnuDd8ff
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaisYEXgeN
御天：……我们为什么要在草堆里埋伏……我们不是来跟NPC打探消息的吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnQ9OmD0PO
漂流：这里的NPC比较特殊，都是强盗，指不定一见面就直接化身开怪，所以我们要先观察一下。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DTKF5s4o3
御天：那左手为什么不来埋伏？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTUCkGMXY9
漂流：全部都埋伏了，就没有人和NPC说话了啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrLgSZXUXJ
御天：我可以去，你和左手埋伏观察好了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVioQY5DHq
漂流：可是那样的话我会不放心啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NB0q3Bjjm
御天：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjAySLP9KU
左手和第一个NPC说话，没有被砍。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgj3qPKXkTv
御天：好像没什么危险，要么我们也出去吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbeJ5xQeUs
漂流：不好说，等等再看看。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidc26Z1TRS
左手和第二个NPC说话，还是没有被砍。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqiecJL9LL
御天：好像真没什么危险，我说你是不是太胆小了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6LHkrtwwv
漂流：不是胆小是谨慎。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3ijWJe6Lk
左手和第三个NPC说话，依旧没有被砍。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASjEOSpPzh
御天：好像真……………………TMD你在摸哪儿！你敢吃我豆腐！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHnOvdczvC
漂流：我只是怕你蹲久了身子麻，帮你揉一揉。乖~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXh6zS69yv5
御天：滚！蹲久了也用不着揉【哗——】啊！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzTjo4VM36
（佣兵团频道内）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NQQSsBSQE
御天：我抗议！我正在被那个家伙性骚扰！QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6LTeexHOd
众人：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoq92bBFrc
公子：啧，漂流眼光真差。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtTJdws20d
千里：就是。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BXtgN8hSG
众人：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNMpUZOHxj
御天：靠！你们这对狗男男。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqcWZX91Tu
御天决定自救，遂掏出家伙对着漂流。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPE2nCucHX
御天：信不信我现在就砍了你。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZUdS5mEQF
漂流：距离太近了，你射不到我的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiH6CJoygz
御天：靠！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLn5M2C80S
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZkjAopXRg
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLugjg4KCq
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCmsC4Rr72
5、又到了一年一度的情人节，游戏里也举办了活动。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2918Y2Gwk
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PCzXu5Oq7
剑鬼：系统通知都收到了吗？情人节貌似有特殊任务。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1abbQ3UVN
战无伤：情人节任务关你什么事，你连对象都没有。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Sns6c6NSm
剑鬼：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkj6k1Yiod
佑哥：根据我的情报，貌似也不是只有情侣才能做任务，还有单身的任务。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjw33VxqSL
御天：啧，你们这群光棍就去做光棍任务吧，我去找葡萄妹子陪我做情侣任务，哈哈。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFme3lUoPE
众人：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeu6CbDmiIk
御天欢天喜地地奔去找葡萄妹子了，剩下的三人结伴来到街上，打算去接任务。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWgF32otrr
剑鬼：任务怎么接？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8N2rWCTBI
佑哥：听说是找城里的NPC接，具体还没有打听到，但听说一看就明白。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4jMqCpioz
战无伤：是指那个吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNszwgqZX5
战无伤指着不远处一排卫兵，只是与平时不同的是，几乎每个卫兵头上都戴着一个写着“死”字的头巾。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPItXJOsDhd
佑哥：大概……走过去看看。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLQufPfhCc
三人走到一个戴着“死”字头巾的卫兵面前。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBStdnTCtUA
剑鬼：情人节任务怎么接？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzzVjRF7Sq
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！拿好这根火柴，去烧掉10对“隐秘的情侣”就可以成为我们的高级团员，我在这里等你消息。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3uDj0H7nX
系统：是否接收道具“光棍之棍”？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGYJudYZ2C
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XixPzFrRZ
战无伤：怎么样怎么样，我看卫兵好像给了你个什么东西？武器？加什么的？啧，一上来就发东西，真大方啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv87hjedBw0
剑鬼：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKH6al0JHSf
战无伤：嘿嘿，我也去领一个，你们等着。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxb0pCezsFW
过了一会儿，战无伤领好任务回来了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKn6g5tATks
战无伤：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBuIAgi0s9
过了一会儿，佑哥也领好任务回来了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xxcjevIdf
佑哥：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQl0Z60WXR8
剑鬼：不知道没有带头巾的卫兵有什么区别？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH97tEVv8V
佑哥：再去试试看呗。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8dJkn0kAr
三人走到没有带头巾的卫兵面前。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVW8qmNo4U
剑鬼：情人节任务……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqJLnjqmMJ
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……咦？你是去死去死团的！！不要烧我啊！我没有女朋友！！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOSfPes3cW
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOVKiRhoMN
（与此同时，同城的另一个角落）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJNDynd9Mc
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……你们看，我连礼物都买好了，是她一直想要的项链，你们可不可以帮我送去给她？这对戒指就当做酬劳送给你们好了，上次买来被她嫌弃难看。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFa3Of5FWF6
系统：是否接收道具“情侣戒指”？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulqpu9ZyzA
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunQwu9xouD
剑鬼&佑哥&战无伤千辛万苦终于烧完情侣回来了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWK8ggQygO
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！干得好，你们真是去死去死团的楷模！这个礼盒是成为高级团员的奖品，里面的东西你应该用得上。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNq9DLoQKg6
三人打开礼盒后，发现都是自己职业用得上的装备。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPevq6Nx17
佑哥：还真是普通的奖品啊，不过属性还不错。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRREJbcfRA
剑鬼：我这个没什么用，还没有我现在用的那个属性好。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDkaGoKS3e
战无伤：奖品算什么，烧情侣才是重点。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtp4DqHHs1N
佑哥&剑鬼：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dQlb4K1qt
这时，三人突然看见御天气势汹汹地从远处走过来。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjlvTRukx3
佑哥：哎，御天，情侣任务的奖品是什么啊？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVUodUmwfI
御天：…………………………漂流在哪里！！让我烧了他！！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgupWIiEqBu
然后御天又气势汹汹地踩踏着红尘滚滚地离开了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolsWnkdU4f
佑哥：御天怎么了？吃火药了？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8Wokfdeih
公子：他只是被漂流坑了，不能和葡萄一起做情侣任务了而已。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf16L4qqUt
佑哥：这样哦。哎哎？公子你来了？咦？千里也在。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2aq6CajWL
公子：想知道情侣任务的奖品？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBhI6ujDix
佑哥：是呀，是呀，公子你知道。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUm0vEC25FT
公子：就是这么个玩意儿。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPJOkFetoY
公子从衣服里掏出了一枚戒指，随意地扔在众人面前。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21pRCRK5Fo
佑哥：我看看。情侣戒指，任务物品，不可交易，火法抗性+20%！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIliQwQqUP
剑鬼：数值挺高的啊。不过火法抗性对你没什么用吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vf1JZuEfT
公子：活动的噱头而已。一开始发任务时候就给的，任务完成后可以永久持有。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUydqRi9Bs
战无伤：等等！公子你和谁一起做的任务！难道是去重生紫晶借的妹子！这样的好事怎么不叫上我啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPvudg4jcD
公子：和千里做的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNtBodi3y5
战无伤：原来是和千里做的啊……神马！和千里！男人也行！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7aOR4lSUm
公子：谁跟你们说过情侣任务只能男女做。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEGMxMl7na
战无伤：靠！无耻！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqGhtcfiR8
（N个城外的某个角落）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbumFtAotT
漂流：我说，你总是这么追杀我，我都没法去找那个谁的女朋友了，任务完成不了对我们谁都没好处。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Qc0NLIJ2W
御天：去死吧！谁要跟你完成情侣任务！完成不了最好！去死去死去死！！！！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tX8rwYIgF
漂流：都说了这么近你射不到我的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYW0WpxrfUP
御天：那就滚远点！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXgJLLlgNK
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CmYKutBX5
* 补充：33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6mtf8KQQ3
如果不是两个人去找非去死去死团的NPC：33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpI6VWXmTh
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……对啦，我有女朋友的事情可不要跟我旁边的兄弟说，他们是去死去死团的，我怕我会被烧掉。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGM4UFnCZS4
如果领好了情侣任务再去找去死去死团NPC：33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmB3mf0lUY
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！神马！你们是情侣！烧掉！！（受到卫兵火法攻击，不过情侣戒指的火法抗性针对该NPC是100%的，记得带好就不会挂。）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI2XKFoDzF
关于情侣任务里的卫兵的女朋友：33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEFfmb4nUe
看起来貌似找到就可以了，不过其实是个boss需要打一打。把项链交给女朋友后，女朋友会很快注意到情侣玩家身上携带的情侣戒指。虽然是自己曾经嫌弃的东西，但是看到戴在别人的身上依旧会暴走。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3RmuoAe2u
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAtzsTHN5V
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwdLckgkW7
6、佑哥在练级区泡到一个妹子。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3ii4xCMeh
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQoXdpLyXQ
妹子：哎？你真的是佑哥？那个无所不知的佑哥？（星星眼）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jR7ECWXId
佑哥：是啊，你有什么想知道的尽管问我。（自豪状）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkX9pRHTJZ
妹子：那你快告诉我双鬼谁攻谁受！我纠结这个问题好多年了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WKSfHPhqY
佑哥：额，公子和剑鬼？不是啊，公子和千里才是一对。咦？妹子你要去哪里？等等我呗〜33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSzEbPs1S8
妹子：小晴！我的CP被拆了！酒鬼大大居然跟那个叫千里一醉的是一对！我的双鬼啊！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U6ktPyjRp
小晴：哦，我无所谓啦，反正我是公子总受派的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoijog61Q7V
佑哥：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96UBC3JR2R
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDl8jlG46Y0
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcOg7JnEUT
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3g2PohFNz
7、有一天，御天在三次元里碰到了漂流。（私设）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1fTWIeCBI
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYonHzcAJq
御天：QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOXjw4MqeZ
战无伤：怎么了？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqj1Yr2NLSj
御天：我今天遇到漂流了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYEkdPPzCE
战无伤：你不是天天都遇到他么。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabT6TbG04w
御天：不是说游戏里，是在电梯里遇到的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCVYAdVczA
战无伤：哪儿的电梯？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2XsP6GRhT
御天：家里的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5FBVl67fu
战无伤：哟，你们还是邻居啊？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu85ATDvyZ
御天：对啊，我也不想的！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNe39TrCjX
战无伤：[蜡烛]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXbWw5B19a
（过了几天）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECF4ENZOzC
御天：漂流你给我滚出来！有种你跟我单挑！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndOx11v8ud
战无伤：他又怎么你了？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AD5koo7c7
御天：他守我电梯！现在每天都得跟他搭同一部电梯下楼，真是生不如死！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEsGKYRBdK
战无伤：[蜡烛]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjJTZBCq4G
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWo85H2KN7v
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnK8tKscwin
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdD3sXHrn4N
8、小雷又研究出了新的酒。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpD8QORzEUN
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFabnXJs7CC
小雷：公子，这是我新弄的酒，系统酒馆都没得卖呢。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKrlyDbs8Z
公子：哦？不错，来一杯尝尝。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNU7fnDwWZ
于是小雷很开心地跑进去把新酒端了上来，然后小心翼翼地看着公子品尝。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfS2jZBGsDW
小雷：怎么样？还不错吧。我觉得公子会比较喜欢这种口感，所以特地配的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzch3FKmWav
公子：嗯，不错，知我者小雷也。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqKQJf75VM
小雷：嗯嗯。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRpst2jkOm
公子：小雷，我突然发现，你才是我生命中最重要的人。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEhzsq3szg
小雷：公子！（泪花闪闪感动状）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ5ooqNpKv
公子：小雷！（泪花闪闪感动状）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWV1Y5tBRl0
千里突然有了深深的危机感。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhkoJgw3he
佑哥：嘿嘿，新酒不错啊，小雷也给我们上一份吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNc3V6KR4v
小雷：你们？哦，做这个酒挺费时间的，我做了好几天才做出几杯，都要留着给公子呢。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkvpmjaMlZ
佑哥：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvOC1CmQIt
小雷：不过倒是可以给你们喝点别的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gU0lFHIbM
过了一会儿，小雷又端上来几份不属于系统酒的不明液体，一人一杯地放在众人的面前。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7mEoQL6ht
佑哥：……这是啥？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMoIEBeh5f
小雷：研究过程中的副产品，看在你们是公子的朋友的份上就免费给你们喝好了。用的材料也很贵，倒掉怪浪费的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8Vbqpjixw
佑哥：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJHvsKN4l0
众人突然有了深深的危机感。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLpOlwE2gr
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrA2AosXv4s
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHlBiV430Y
FREETALK33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKr6v8G6Nuj
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuSwm2mXDp
感谢收养这份……没什么意义的段子集XD。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITrB5RD0jq
看完近战以后就很HAPPY地各种脑补，并弃无数坑于不顾地来写近战的段子。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffY5GORgQQ
近战里一直很很很很很喜欢漂流，直到他黑掉，我惊悚脸啊！御天也非常可爱，每次碰到漂流都一副炸毛的样子，我于是便当机立断这是一对XD（神马逻辑！）。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQI0PXxtxP
韩家公子也是我超喜欢的类型，智慧型美男啊~~~~~然后每次公子指点江山，我都会很YY地想着，公子你果然不愧是贤内助。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiw2r36eU6U
然后是御天和战无伤，万年泡妞无果二人组，这两个人一老一少一搭一唱总觉得也很有意思~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZi3LxJ01Pb
剑鬼是最最最正直的真汉子！所以脑补他每次被众人的各种欢脱弄得无语到麻木，于是笑而不语。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrTy6OCWXh
至于佑哥的话，情报王嘛~ 情报=八卦（不对！）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbR5MGDgdLS
总之，如果以后还有机会也会在写近战的段子~欢迎大家来我微博或者博客上看哦~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v38JnHQAE
以上~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUo7CJHZvF
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACsBR0qrDt
2013年11月
ns 15.158.61.6da2 33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsko7J4Bn9G
漂流：又迷路了吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiilrGcFBV
御天：切，我只是在闲逛，你滚远点，风景里有你都变差了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgWx8mEOKw
漂流：要去哪儿啊，我送你去呗。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2DOZ75KOZ
御天：都说了你滚滚滚滚滚！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfc29mDzKX
漂流笑而不语，一会儿道：我跟剑鬼消息了，他说你们在小雷酒馆集合，这都差了大半个城了，你怎么能迷到这儿来的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDsDWn0RyA
御天：要你管！我跟公子要卷轴过去。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREP3taQ5kK
公子（消息）：卷轴5000金。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2SqAEk1Nf
御天：QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGymXiKwtl
漂流：你看，所以说还是我送你过去吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWmLjeM53g
左手&右手一齐点头。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsyGvCPFK7
漂流：今天的风景挺好的，我们走走看看过去好了。反正你已经迟到了，也不差再晚一点。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9wogdJuxc
御天：……你他妈走就走！拉我手算什么！给我放开！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiVLkWbjqn
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdd1ZbmB9hs
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWa6rVwvFWv
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmnJ1hFa0e
2、有一天，大家一起在小雷酒馆喝酒。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6trEMKdM7X
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1V9rqKc7L
公子：小雷，这酒不错，再来两杯。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcO4Dbk5sp
小雷：好~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukRV2PsFZo
御天：公子好像已经喝了好几杯了，怎么还要喝啊。酒有那么好喝吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MdwqJ8J0P
战无伤：这是大人的爱好，小孩子你就不懂了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93vH5YFBSv
御天：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpl1vbsOS85
佑哥：不过公子喝了那么多……我算算，大概得有5000金酒钱了吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9Zx1hK0PL
战无伤：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XIYN29SQz
剑鬼：重要的是，待会儿我们好像有任务，他喝成这样我们还能做任务吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRad57Z5T2
众人：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bRz7d1l2S
公子已醉，面色红润，东倒西歪。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcsPXO4HoV
佑哥：那个，要不谁来阻止一下他？（小声）反正我是不敢……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQL0YOprvCF
战无伤&御天：我也……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzCPkfTxqM
剑鬼笑而不语。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5XQfC3hgn
千里：一群人婆婆妈妈的是不是爷们啊，我来！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibDeYET9de
众人：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkm8Ai8Us6O
千里（一把夺走公子手中的酒杯）：公子，别喝了，要做正经事，赶紧的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOatz8lbqd
公子（媚眼瞪来，看似秋波暗送，实为横眉冷对）：还来。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXZVhOpiMg9
千里：别喝了，这都几点了，做完任务我还赶着下线呢。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9R9NZ79PM
众人：切~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4F895Kwie
公子（不断往千里身上靠，伸手去捞酒杯）：还来。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5xTiiyJ0W
千里（慌乱状）：喂，你别乱来啊。大庭广众的……你给我下去，下去。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BCBrQy3Li
公子（整个人都坐到了千里的身上，蹭来蹭去）：还来。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpK9iVo70Xz
千里：擦！你们别光顾着看，帮忙啊！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4soEzRoYD
众人：你爷们你自己搞定。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDY0EqNbID
千里分身无术，只得趁乱自己把酒给喝了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFFGYr7b6Q
千里：好了好了，走了走了，做任务去。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1nBjEeRUe
公子：嗯？这里好像有酒的味道，是藏在这里了嘛？（摸着千里的唇）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkj8fsHYm2
佑哥&剑鬼默默看向两边，战无伤蒙住御天的眼睛。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YfMcCvvXl
御天：干嘛蒙住我，我要看，我要看。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWVVNZKNWs
公子按住千里的脑袋送上香吻一个，千里瞪大着眼睛看着公子妖孽的面容近在咫尺。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9lO2Z52Cm
系统：您的心跳过快，为了您的身体健康，系统将在十秒后强制离线，现在开始倒计时，十，九……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQqYNgxYkn
于是只见白光一闪，千里从酒馆消失了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK4FLKhqUfx
公子：切，怂货。小雷~再来两杯酒。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjBNZkKVjL
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgNmB3GRNo
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv2AiotSrB
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFJkgVBFQe
3、和漂流一起做任务。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ543Vy0iyvi
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYMZQyGfqh
御天：为什么这个家伙会在这里！！！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPvJg4VG7uz
剑鬼：咳，漂流是过来帮忙做任务的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZYtbyEf5G
御天：强烈要求把这个家伙踢出队伍！他一定是来当奸细的！奸细！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoeF7IsP2ns
剑鬼：好了，我们来谈一下这次任务怎么分配。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSFo05RTPj
御天：……QAQ（被坐在旁边的漂流微笑着顺毛）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAf4EQJ2SM
公子：这一次的任务是千里弄来的，啧，又是一个越级的奇葩任务，线索也不是很明确。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCm0un7sza2
千里：嘿嘿。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7H7FNZdaAO
公子：首先是主城沙漠古城的北部有一个教堂废墟，根据任务提示，里面应该会有线索。剑鬼和千里去那边调查一下，随时在频道里报告情况。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfaFg1vjoO
千里&剑鬼：好。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZEC3yJtKV
公子：接着是所谓城外有关海市蜃楼的传言，那是我们最终要去的地方。佑哥和战无伤一起去打探一下，找一下有没有入口。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nklnVzSiv
佑哥：包在我身上了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6zJwciGFg
公子：然后是那个强盗寨子，剩下还有谁？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWhUMcMpuV
御天：我，我。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlPfp5fvlz
公子：嗯，那你和漂流一起去打探一下情况。左手也去，右手和我留在城里做接应。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxlZsKE1Flr
御天：我反对！我不要和这个家伙一起行动！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvE7pBk9DB5
公子：反对无效，你能自己找到寨子的位置吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BqiRNNx97
御天：……QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8DfKbZn8p
公子：好了，那就出发吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMg1NETf6CM
公子掏出卷轴，白光一闪，众人便从小雷酒馆里消失了，随后九个人便一起出现在了主城沙漠古城里。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAmYjaW5ky
御天：公子，可不可以我和佑哥去查海市蜃楼，战无伤跟着你，让右手和那家伙去寨子，反正他们三个人经常一起行动。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmOhydyYkc
战无伤：我去！我难得一次不当保镖我容易吗，别跟我抢啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqC9dWuPFr
公子：漂流他们都看不到佣兵团频道，联络起来不方便。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1aZxT3HSpy
御天：那，那我就跟战无伤换，让战无伤跟着那家伙好了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aauUdFkUY
佑哥：别啊，带你去，到时候我是找入口还是找你啊……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMi70KNrzCR
御天：……QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWqlL9wYlP
于是漂流开开心心地搂着呆滞中的御天出发了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWOoLrDOwG
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oAwXHWhM3
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxNiBpkGdO
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOG6Ln5FfgQ
4、和漂流一起埋伏。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclZnuDd8ff
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaisYEXgeN
御天：……我们为什么要在草堆里埋伏……我们不是来跟NPC打探消息的吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnQ9OmD0PO
漂流：这里的NPC比较特殊，都是强盗，指不定一见面就直接化身开怪，所以我们要先观察一下。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DTKF5s4o3
御天：那左手为什么不来埋伏？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTUCkGMXY9
漂流：全部都埋伏了，就没有人和NPC说话了啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrLgSZXUXJ
御天：我可以去，你和左手埋伏观察好了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVioQY5DHq
漂流：可是那样的话我会不放心啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NB0q3Bjjm
御天：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbjAySLP9KU
左手和第一个NPC说话，没有被砍。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgj3qPKXkTv
御天：好像没什么危险，要么我们也出去吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbeJ5xQeUs
漂流：不好说，等等再看看。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidc26Z1TRS
左手和第二个NPC说话，还是没有被砍。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqiecJL9LL
御天：好像真没什么危险，我说你是不是太胆小了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6LHkrtwwv
漂流：不是胆小是谨慎。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3ijWJe6Lk
左手和第三个NPC说话，依旧没有被砍。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡASjEOSpPzh
御天：好像真……………………TMD你在摸哪儿！你敢吃我豆腐！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHnOvdczvC
漂流：我只是怕你蹲久了身子麻，帮你揉一揉。乖~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXh6zS69yv5
御天：滚！蹲久了也用不着揉【哗——】啊！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzTjo4VM36
（佣兵团频道内）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NQQSsBSQE
御天：我抗议！我正在被那个家伙性骚扰！QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6LTeexHOd
众人：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoq92bBFrc
公子：啧，漂流眼光真差。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtTJdws20d
千里：就是。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BXtgN8hSG
众人：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNMpUZOHxj
御天：靠！你们这对狗男男。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqcWZX91Tu
御天决定自救，遂掏出家伙对着漂流。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPE2nCucHX
御天：信不信我现在就砍了你。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZUdS5mEQF
漂流：距离太近了，你射不到我的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiH6CJoygz
御天：靠！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLn5M2C80S
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZkjAopXRg
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdLugjg4KCq
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCmsC4Rr72
5、又到了一年一度的情人节，游戏里也举办了活动。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2918Y2Gwk
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PCzXu5Oq7
剑鬼：系统通知都收到了吗？情人节貌似有特殊任务。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1abbQ3UVN
战无伤：情人节任务关你什么事，你连对象都没有。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Sns6c6NSm
剑鬼：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkj6k1Yiod
佑哥：根据我的情报，貌似也不是只有情侣才能做任务，还有单身的任务。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjw33VxqSL
御天：啧，你们这群光棍就去做光棍任务吧，我去找葡萄妹子陪我做情侣任务，哈哈。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFme3lUoPE
众人：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeu6CbDmiIk
御天欢天喜地地奔去找葡萄妹子了，剩下的三人结伴来到街上，打算去接任务。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYWgF32otrr
剑鬼：任务怎么接？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8N2rWCTBI
佑哥：听说是找城里的NPC接，具体还没有打听到，但听说一看就明白。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4jMqCpioz
战无伤：是指那个吗？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNszwgqZX5
战无伤指着不远处一排卫兵，只是与平时不同的是，几乎每个卫兵头上都戴着一个写着“死”字的头巾。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPItXJOsDhd
佑哥：大概……走过去看看。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLQufPfhCc
三人走到一个戴着“死”字头巾的卫兵面前。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBStdnTCtUA
剑鬼：情人节任务怎么接？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzzVjRF7Sq
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！拿好这根火柴，去烧掉10对“隐秘的情侣”就可以成为我们的高级团员，我在这里等你消息。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3uDj0H7nX
系统：是否接收道具“光棍之棍”？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGYJudYZ2C
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XixPzFrRZ
战无伤：怎么样怎么样，我看卫兵好像给了你个什么东西？武器？加什么的？啧，一上来就发东西，真大方啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv87hjedBw0
剑鬼：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKH6al0JHSf
战无伤：嘿嘿，我也去领一个，你们等着。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxb0pCezsFW
过了一会儿，战无伤领好任务回来了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKn6g5tATks
战无伤：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBuIAgi0s9
过了一会儿，佑哥也领好任务回来了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xxcjevIdf
佑哥：擦！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQl0Z60WXR8
剑鬼：不知道没有带头巾的卫兵有什么区别？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdH97tEVv8V
佑哥：再去试试看呗。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8dJkn0kAr
三人走到没有带头巾的卫兵面前。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxVW8qmNo4U
剑鬼：情人节任务……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqJLnjqmMJ
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……咦？你是去死去死团的！！不要烧我啊！我没有女朋友！！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyOSfPes3cW
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOVKiRhoMN
（与此同时，同城的另一个角落）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJNDynd9Mc
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……你们看，我连礼物都买好了，是她一直想要的项链，你们可不可以帮我送去给她？这对戒指就当做酬劳送给你们好了，上次买来被她嫌弃难看。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFa3Of5FWF6
系统：是否接收道具“情侣戒指”？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡulqpu9ZyzA
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunQwu9xouD
剑鬼&佑哥&战无伤千辛万苦终于烧完情侣回来了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWK8ggQygO
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！干得好，你们真是去死去死团的楷模！这个礼盒是成为高级团员的奖品，里面的东西你应该用得上。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNq9DLoQKg6
三人打开礼盒后，发现都是自己职业用得上的装备。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPevq6Nx17
佑哥：还真是普通的奖品啊，不过属性还不错。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRREJbcfRA
剑鬼：我这个没什么用，还没有我现在用的那个属性好。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDkaGoKS3e
战无伤：奖品算什么，烧情侣才是重点。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtp4DqHHs1N
佑哥&剑鬼：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dQlb4K1qt
这时，三人突然看见御天气势汹汹地从远处走过来。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjlvTRukx3
佑哥：哎，御天，情侣任务的奖品是什么啊？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVUodUmwfI
御天：…………………………漂流在哪里！！让我烧了他！！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgupWIiEqBu
然后御天又气势汹汹地踩踏着红尘滚滚地离开了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolsWnkdU4f
佑哥：御天怎么了？吃火药了？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8Wokfdeih
公子：他只是被漂流坑了，不能和葡萄一起做情侣任务了而已。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf16L4qqUt
佑哥：这样哦。哎哎？公子你来了？咦？千里也在。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2aq6CajWL
公子：想知道情侣任务的奖品？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBhI6ujDix
佑哥：是呀，是呀，公子你知道。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUm0vEC25FT
公子：就是这么个玩意儿。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPJOkFetoY
公子从衣服里掏出了一枚戒指，随意地扔在众人面前。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21pRCRK5Fo
佑哥：我看看。情侣戒指，任务物品，不可交易，火法抗性+20%！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIliQwQqUP
剑鬼：数值挺高的啊。不过火法抗性对你没什么用吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8vf1JZuEfT
公子：活动的噱头而已。一开始发任务时候就给的，任务完成后可以永久持有。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUydqRi9Bs
战无伤：等等！公子你和谁一起做的任务！难道是去重生紫晶借的妹子！这样的好事怎么不叫上我啊。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPvudg4jcD
公子：和千里做的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNtBodi3y5
战无伤：原来是和千里做的啊……神马！和千里！男人也行！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7aOR4lSUm
公子：谁跟你们说过情侣任务只能男女做。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEGMxMl7na
战无伤：靠！无耻！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqGhtcfiR8
（N个城外的某个角落）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbumFtAotT
漂流：我说，你总是这么追杀我，我都没法去找那个谁的女朋友了，任务完成不了对我们谁都没好处。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Qc0NLIJ2W
御天：去死吧！谁要跟你完成情侣任务！完成不了最好！去死去死去死！！！！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tX8rwYIgF
漂流：都说了这么近你射不到我的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYW0WpxrfUP
御天：那就滚远点！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXgJLLlgNK
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CmYKutBX5
* 补充：33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6mtf8KQQ3
如果不是两个人去找非去死去死团的NPC：33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpI6VWXmTh
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……对啦，我有女朋友的事情可不要跟我旁边的兄弟说，他们是去死去死团的，我怕我会被烧掉。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGM4UFnCZS4
如果领好了情侣任务再去找去死去死团NPC：33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmB3mf0lUY
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！神马！你们是情侣！烧掉！！（受到卫兵火法攻击，不过情侣戒指的火法抗性针对该NPC是100%的，记得带好就不会挂。）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBI2XKFoDzF
关于情侣任务里的卫兵的女朋友：33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEFfmb4nUe
看起来貌似找到就可以了，不过其实是个boss需要打一打。把项链交给女朋友后，女朋友会很快注意到情侣玩家身上携带的情侣戒指。虽然是自己曾经嫌弃的东西，但是看到戴在别人的身上依旧会暴走。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3RmuoAe2u
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAtzsTHN5V
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6、佑哥在练级区泡到一个妹子。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3ii4xCMeh
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妹子：哎？你真的是佑哥？那个无所不知的佑哥？（星星眼）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jR7ECWXId
佑哥：是啊，你有什么想知道的尽管问我。（自豪状）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkX9pRHTJZ
妹子：那你快告诉我双鬼谁攻谁受！我纠结这个问题好多年了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WKSfHPhqY
佑哥：额，公子和剑鬼？不是啊，公子和千里才是一对。咦？妹子你要去哪里？等等我呗〜33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSzEbPs1S8
妹子：小晴！我的CP被拆了！酒鬼大大居然跟那个叫千里一醉的是一对！我的双鬼啊！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U6ktPyjRp
小晴：哦，我无所谓啦，反正我是公子总受派的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoijog61Q7V
佑哥：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96UBC3JR2R
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7、有一天，御天在三次元里碰到了漂流。（私设）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1fTWIeCBI
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御天：QAQ33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOXjw4MqeZ
战无伤：怎么了？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqj1Yr2NLSj
御天：我今天遇到漂流了。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYEkdPPzCE
战无伤：你不是天天都遇到他么。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabT6TbG04w
御天：不是说游戏里，是在电梯里遇到的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCVYAdVczA
战无伤：哪儿的电梯？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2XsP6GRhT
御天：家里的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5FBVl67fu
战无伤：哟，你们还是邻居啊？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu85ATDvyZ
御天：对啊，我也不想的！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNe39TrCjX
战无伤：[蜡烛]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnXbWw5B19a
（过了几天）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECF4ENZOzC
御天：漂流你给我滚出来！有种你跟我单挑！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndOx11v8ud
战无伤：他又怎么你了？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AD5koo7c7
御天：他守我电梯！现在每天都得跟他搭同一部电梯下楼，真是生不如死！33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEsGKYRBdK
战无伤：[蜡烛]33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjJTZBCq4G
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8、小雷又研究出了新的酒。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpD8QORzEUN
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小雷：公子，这是我新弄的酒，系统酒馆都没得卖呢。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKrlyDbs8Z
公子：哦？不错，来一杯尝尝。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNU7fnDwWZ
于是小雷很开心地跑进去把新酒端了上来，然后小心翼翼地看着公子品尝。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfS2jZBGsDW
小雷：怎么样？还不错吧。我觉得公子会比较喜欢这种口感，所以特地配的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzch3FKmWav
公子：嗯，不错，知我者小雷也。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqKQJf75VM
小雷：嗯嗯。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRpst2jkOm
公子：小雷，我突然发现，你才是我生命中最重要的人。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEhzsq3szg
小雷：公子！（泪花闪闪感动状）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ5ooqNpKv
公子：小雷！（泪花闪闪感动状）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWV1Y5tBRl0
千里突然有了深深的危机感。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhkoJgw3he
佑哥：嘿嘿，新酒不错啊，小雷也给我们上一份吧。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNc3V6KR4v
小雷：你们？哦，做这个酒挺费时间的，我做了好几天才做出几杯，都要留着给公子呢。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkvpmjaMlZ
佑哥：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvOC1CmQIt
小雷：不过倒是可以给你们喝点别的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gU0lFHIbM
过了一会儿，小雷又端上来几份不属于系统酒的不明液体，一人一杯地放在众人的面前。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7mEoQL6ht
佑哥：……这是啥？33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMoIEBeh5f
小雷：研究过程中的副产品，看在你们是公子的朋友的份上就免费给你们喝好了。用的材料也很贵，倒掉怪浪费的。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8Vbqpjixw
佑哥：……33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJHvsKN4l0
众人突然有了深深的危机感。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLpOlwE2gr
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FREETALK33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKr6v8G6Nuj
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感谢收养这份……没什么意义的段子集XD。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITrB5RD0jq
看完近战以后就很HAPPY地各种脑补，并弃无数坑于不顾地来写近战的段子。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffY5GORgQQ
近战里一直很很很很很喜欢漂流，直到他黑掉，我惊悚脸啊！御天也非常可爱，每次碰到漂流都一副炸毛的样子，我于是便当机立断这是一对XD（神马逻辑！）。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQQI0PXxtxP
韩家公子也是我超喜欢的类型，智慧型美男啊~~~~~然后每次公子指点江山，我都会很YY地想着，公子你果然不愧是贤内助。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiw2r36eU6U
然后是御天和战无伤，万年泡妞无果二人组，这两个人一老一少一搭一唱总觉得也很有意思~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZi3LxJ01Pb
剑鬼是最最最正直的真汉子！所以脑补他每次被众人的各种欢脱弄得无语到麻木，于是笑而不语。33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrTy6OCWXh
至于佑哥的话，情报王嘛~ 情报=八卦（不对！）33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbR5MGDgdLS
总之，如果以后还有机会也会在写近战的段子~欢迎大家来我微博或者博客上看哦~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2v38JnHQAE
以上~33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOUo7CJHZvF
33Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACsBR0qrDt
2013年11月
