1、假设御天迷路了，然后遇到了漂流。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTc9nZE1PO
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmDtcNUUkZ
漂流：又迷路了吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwyhtJdv9Z
御天：切，我只是在闲逛，你滚远点，风景里有你都变差了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjHULpvU5w
漂流：要去哪儿啊，我送你去呗。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHMKjgbQ5u
御天：都说了你滚滚滚滚滚！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjgto9SXGz
漂流笑而不语，一会儿道：我跟剑鬼消息了，他说你们在小雷酒馆集合，这都差了大半个城了，你怎么能迷到这儿来的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAFDNUffjm
御天：要你管！我跟公子要卷轴过去。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00n1w1Mp0G
公子（消息）：卷轴5000金。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHorrYMWlGY
御天：QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHp24nv555p
漂流：你看，所以说还是我送你过去吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5a8s1bhXKz
左手&右手一齐点头。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57e0fscjoa
漂流：今天的风景挺好的，我们走走看看过去好了。反正你已经迟到了，也不差再晚一点。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNR0qB9JZY
御天：……你他妈走就走！拉我手算什么！给我放开！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEa465PWCcD
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahJRpUQrXB
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbsjf7OMsT
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWssMpc6wUg
2、有一天，大家一起在小雷酒馆喝酒。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnoyC7IMpu
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQebYQbKOO
公子：小雷，这酒不错，再来两杯。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5ZtAb5j8W
小雷：好~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwe1lILbwF
御天：公子好像已经喝了好几杯了，怎么还要喝啊。酒有那么好喝吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73jjYRBLxE
战无伤：这是大人的爱好，小孩子你就不懂了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflqhaNjina
御天：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WgpJ7ZTer
佑哥：不过公子喝了那么多……我算算，大概得有5000金酒钱了吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxGMrLc1Uv
战无伤：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2JcMRDwuV
剑鬼：重要的是，待会儿我们好像有任务，他喝成这样我们还能做任务吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzd2ykAQ3a
众人：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmGQY6r3Xt
公子已醉，面色红润，东倒西歪。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3szionypS
佑哥：那个，要不谁来阻止一下他？（小声）反正我是不敢……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV531jWPRxm
战无伤&御天：我也……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6OxWGkQgb
剑鬼笑而不语。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7VGDJr7HT
千里：一群人婆婆妈妈的是不是爷们啊，我来！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0yre3WDnO
众人：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lKaCOiKxo
千里（一把夺走公子手中的酒杯）：公子，别喝了，要做正经事，赶紧的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyIRPWaXcX
公子（媚眼瞪来，看似秋波暗送，实为横眉冷对）：还来。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpthY17Ued
千里：别喝了，这都几点了，做完任务我还赶着下线呢。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcSo5rk85o
众人：切~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIctObkFyn
公子（不断往千里身上靠，伸手去捞酒杯）：还来。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8FaYvqnHi
千里（慌乱状）：喂，你别乱来啊。大庭广众的……你给我下去，下去。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTR3ZtxtJI
公子（整个人都坐到了千里的身上，蹭来蹭去）：还来。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyD6ox61oZ
千里：擦！你们别光顾着看，帮忙啊！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlADvePI8Cy
众人：你爷们你自己搞定。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rU3QCeELU
千里分身无术，只得趁乱自己把酒给喝了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyR7kela0p
千里：好了好了，走了走了，做任务去。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGmy1076yY
公子：嗯？这里好像有酒的味道，是藏在这里了嘛？（摸着千里的唇）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpvpezcAhL
佑哥&剑鬼默默看向两边，战无伤蒙住御天的眼睛。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewCcyVit6V
御天：干嘛蒙住我，我要看，我要看。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQK2MO5yf1
公子按住千里的脑袋送上香吻一个，千里瞪大着眼睛看着公子妖孽的面容近在咫尺。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XJf840UGO
系统：您的心跳过快，为了您的身体健康，系统将在十秒后强制离线，现在开始倒计时，十，九……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTj8h6AWaG
于是只见白光一闪，千里从酒馆消失了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkywB8fFdtP
公子：切，怂货。小雷~再来两杯酒。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIIa0umd7w
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIYprrGvKR
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlWjd9MQx3
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpWyVxLnJ7
3、和漂流一起做任务。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHSEvFRnHx
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3falCmDLZZ
御天：为什么这个家伙会在这里！！！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVnVHHL0Gd
剑鬼：咳，漂流是过来帮忙做任务的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjrM82wXgl
御天：强烈要求把这个家伙踢出队伍！他一定是来当奸细的！奸细！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHpiP7EaMa
剑鬼：好了，我们来谈一下这次任务怎么分配。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Mnum5LJ6B
御天：……QAQ（被坐在旁边的漂流微笑着顺毛）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzhexM9Yju
公子：这一次的任务是千里弄来的，啧，又是一个越级的奇葩任务，线索也不是很明确。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQyYc9tUKz
千里：嘿嘿。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOFnsOn8RV
公子：首先是主城沙漠古城的北部有一个教堂废墟，根据任务提示，里面应该会有线索。剑鬼和千里去那边调查一下，随时在频道里报告情况。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFrf4bnP4v
千里&剑鬼：好。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkn0WSVJtsP
公子：接着是所谓城外有关海市蜃楼的传言，那是我们最终要去的地方。佑哥和战无伤一起去打探一下，找一下有没有入口。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4yYPJYSMR
佑哥：包在我身上了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9yI3hlvuV
公子：然后是那个强盗寨子，剩下还有谁？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4u8wmC9rJt
御天：我，我。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsyKYxOIvv
公子：嗯，那你和漂流一起去打探一下情况。左手也去，右手和我留在城里做接应。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHXseuTAJx
御天：我反对！我不要和这个家伙一起行动！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIfVT7pz00
公子：反对无效，你能自己找到寨子的位置吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZOap1eO8f
御天：……QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU15lqeO0pt
公子：好了，那就出发吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdCZdJXG36
公子掏出卷轴，白光一闪，众人便从小雷酒馆里消失了，随后九个人便一起出现在了主城沙漠古城里。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WVOt2Dt6B
御天：公子，可不可以我和佑哥去查海市蜃楼，战无伤跟着你，让右手和那家伙去寨子，反正他们三个人经常一起行动。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJE6Y0gwyWW
战无伤：我去！我难得一次不当保镖我容易吗，别跟我抢啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2qqWCniNp
公子：漂流他们都看不到佣兵团频道，联络起来不方便。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0Wm7Xb9IY
御天：那，那我就跟战无伤换，让战无伤跟着那家伙好了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRJYj7diQO
佑哥：别啊，带你去，到时候我是找入口还是找你啊……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6ln4C2bHE
御天：……QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dOV5LqgeQ
于是漂流开开心心地搂着呆滞中的御天出发了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2l9WbuYcdw
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5AB6808bQ
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzg0sqeZ9j
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwhFcciO8X
4、和漂流一起埋伏。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uOaDWNDpj
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHbvXDpeHn
御天：……我们为什么要在草堆里埋伏……我们不是来跟NPC打探消息的吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiR2RK6GJQ
漂流：这里的NPC比较特殊，都是强盗，指不定一见面就直接化身开怪，所以我们要先观察一下。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvzXd6kZhv
御天：那左手为什么不来埋伏？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzZnEASs9r
漂流：全部都埋伏了，就没有人和NPC说话了啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcZK4MJgWb
御天：我可以去，你和左手埋伏观察好了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOv4ANQvvz
漂流：可是那样的话我会不放心啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYatWcQVuQg
御天：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lrSxRNQOC
左手和第一个NPC说话，没有被砍。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPs2uiTHv3F
御天：好像没什么危险，要么我们也出去吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0krIUHD6S
漂流：不好说，等等再看看。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpySFbMyqx
左手和第二个NPC说话，还是没有被砍。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sIdpBkwtW
御天：好像真没什么危险，我说你是不是太胆小了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleEHbp08nJ
漂流：不是胆小是谨慎。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCOrrSPflC
左手和第三个NPC说话，依旧没有被砍。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbOW9dmFz2
御天：好像真……………………TMD你在摸哪儿！你敢吃我豆腐！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcQx5tjKx0
漂流：我只是怕你蹲久了身子麻，帮你揉一揉。乖~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzTuCi9pAO
御天：滚！蹲久了也用不着揉【哗——】啊！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZ5KrhtMeN
（佣兵团频道内）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwNEesad2E
御天：我抗议！我正在被那个家伙性骚扰！QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdysfVLyRAD
众人：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRndR405AEQ
公子：啧，漂流眼光真差。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlWim6ZMzJ
千里：就是。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ihcNoQmCJ
众人：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYI8z6NUrHN
御天：靠！你们这对狗男男。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI8UFxccRG
御天决定自救，遂掏出家伙对着漂流。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvL0gSRoKsM
御天：信不信我现在就砍了你。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBL6A1bgg24
漂流：距离太近了，你射不到我的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVAJjxfST2
御天：靠！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv6dSPw5HP
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHKbvOOqlX
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUApSH6iaq
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2T0jCora0
5、又到了一年一度的情人节，游戏里也举办了活动。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6diip9VlG
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nBBWiTxcS
剑鬼：系统通知都收到了吗？情人节貌似有特殊任务。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37mnBw4wD0
战无伤：情人节任务关你什么事，你连对象都没有。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIofTdFWPh
剑鬼：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2ciO0tEil
佑哥：根据我的情报，貌似也不是只有情侣才能做任务，还有单身的任务。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WxwqVZYqi
御天：啧，你们这群光棍就去做光棍任务吧，我去找葡萄妹子陪我做情侣任务，哈哈。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiICRWHJ4ln
众人：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxPAvxPYUv
御天欢天喜地地奔去找葡萄妹子了，剩下的三人结伴来到街上，打算去接任务。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGlP24Szui
剑鬼：任务怎么接？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQiiwYE0zH
佑哥：听说是找城里的NPC接，具体还没有打听到，但听说一看就明白。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZbXSXTXrY
战无伤：是指那个吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfxfFaGTUu
战无伤指着不远处一排卫兵，只是与平时不同的是，几乎每个卫兵头上都戴着一个写着“死”字的头巾。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBt3cEHqNn
佑哥：大概……走过去看看。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9aT5LKTnh
三人走到一个戴着“死”字头巾的卫兵面前。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpSCY11GkT
剑鬼：情人节任务怎么接？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF731puWMP
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！拿好这根火柴，去烧掉10对“隐秘的情侣”就可以成为我们的高级团员，我在这里等你消息。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRs3hCZmHBN
系统：是否接收道具“光棍之棍”？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToySsIkMQo
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDkvB7yFKa
战无伤：怎么样怎么样，我看卫兵好像给了你个什么东西？武器？加什么的？啧，一上来就发东西，真大方啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCKYVOV3CT
剑鬼：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJmbsHRCtI
战无伤：嘿嘿，我也去领一个，你们等着。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVvnRpog89
过了一会儿，战无伤领好任务回来了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUpJyzzrik
战无伤：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2PugqpB7W
过了一会儿，佑哥也领好任务回来了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhP0caS3Fit
佑哥：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnsG5NOUoM
剑鬼：不知道没有带头巾的卫兵有什么区别？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKFL4kfDGM
佑哥：再去试试看呗。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV1wv6Octm
三人走到没有带头巾的卫兵面前。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoWs7vkXvf
剑鬼：情人节任务……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfz87KYsXl
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……咦？你是去死去死团的！！不要烧我啊！我没有女朋友！！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHf5yzd5yAq
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7966tafZDk
（与此同时，同城的另一个角落）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2cGdNiF0N
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……你们看，我连礼物都买好了，是她一直想要的项链，你们可不可以帮我送去给她？这对戒指就当做酬劳送给你们好了，上次买来被她嫌弃难看。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BdXzEKp0D
系统：是否接收道具“情侣戒指”？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeh35hTLaj
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbenuNiyIjk
剑鬼&佑哥&战无伤千辛万苦终于烧完情侣回来了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mKrDguIsf
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！干得好，你们真是去死去死团的楷模！这个礼盒是成为高级团员的奖品，里面的东西你应该用得上。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6TXI5hH2e
三人打开礼盒后，发现都是自己职业用得上的装备。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCiyZX2y8S
佑哥：还真是普通的奖品啊，不过属性还不错。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vVT07eBVR
剑鬼：我这个没什么用，还没有我现在用的那个属性好。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZoZnvPPXO
战无伤：奖品算什么，烧情侣才是重点。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFEta2SOIe
佑哥&剑鬼：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cDo7gbJxU
这时，三人突然看见御天气势汹汹地从远处走过来。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR0wE4DdfR
佑哥：哎，御天，情侣任务的奖品是什么啊？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10ofiQGJpu
御天：…………………………漂流在哪里！！让我烧了他！！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS7119zzS8
然后御天又气势汹汹地踩踏着红尘滚滚地离开了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRVlAf89c4
佑哥：御天怎么了？吃火药了？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitsW9mIh3X
公子：他只是被漂流坑了，不能和葡萄一起做情侣任务了而已。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5TxGqqypN
佑哥：这样哦。哎哎？公子你来了？咦？千里也在。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrUxdeePql
公子：想知道情侣任务的奖品？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmDoRvQboK
佑哥：是呀，是呀，公子你知道。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80dO7qBV7n
公子：就是这么个玩意儿。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK152DnBKPm
公子从衣服里掏出了一枚戒指，随意地扔在众人面前。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJCJ3B0l5b
佑哥：我看看。情侣戒指，任务物品，不可交易，火法抗性+20%！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQL2LVSpuZL
剑鬼：数值挺高的啊。不过火法抗性对你没什么用吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFupK7YJfa
公子：活动的噱头而已。一开始发任务时候就给的，任务完成后可以永久持有。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNQDXa9ZSX
战无伤：等等！公子你和谁一起做的任务！难道是去重生紫晶借的妹子！这样的好事怎么不叫上我啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpk5PFSXLk
公子：和千里做的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyxoZfstAP
战无伤：原来是和千里做的啊……神马！和千里！男人也行！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjs2SoJNaxF
公子：谁跟你们说过情侣任务只能男女做。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NywKvWa4K
战无伤：靠！无耻！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtV4DvbRvFg
（N个城外的某个角落）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1QML6WQLH
漂流：我说，你总是这么追杀我，我都没法去找那个谁的女朋友了，任务完成不了对我们谁都没好处。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWKn9qvaA4
御天：去死吧！谁要跟你完成情侣任务！完成不了最好！去死去死去死！！！！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU79a24VzM
漂流：都说了这么近你射不到我的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMcIDu3oxB
御天：那就滚远点！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzKdcJ8DvL
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fx9cgceR2
* 补充：32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhW8qW0QHt0
如果不是两个人去找非去死去死团的NPC：32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTyJ9SMFcU
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……对啦，我有女朋友的事情可不要跟我旁边的兄弟说，他们是去死去死团的，我怕我会被烧掉。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n5PUDAnpo
如果领好了情侣任务再去找去死去死团NPC：32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJesjdHi4nk
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！神马！你们是情侣！烧掉！！（受到卫兵火法攻击，不过情侣戒指的火法抗性针对该NPC是100%的，记得带好就不会挂。）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfAUyv4Rjm
关于情侣任务里的卫兵的女朋友：32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tkVoZDe6K
看起来貌似找到就可以了，不过其实是个boss需要打一打。把项链交给女朋友后，女朋友会很快注意到情侣玩家身上携带的情侣戒指。虽然是自己曾经嫌弃的东西，但是看到戴在别人的身上依旧会暴走。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lHK1JOdfO
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHnwwFyTa3
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQE73rYARGy
6、佑哥在练级区泡到一个妹子。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4Eo5vCE8F
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYnSwleMD5
妹子：哎？你真的是佑哥？那个无所不知的佑哥？（星星眼）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnH3ugMc3nm
佑哥：是啊，你有什么想知道的尽管问我。（自豪状）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LnkYVbEJ1
妹子：那你快告诉我双鬼谁攻谁受！我纠结这个问题好多年了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmWzBRxgrc
佑哥：额，公子和剑鬼？不是啊，公子和千里才是一对。咦？妹子你要去哪里？等等我呗〜32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KrKMSi6lh
妹子：小晴！我的CP被拆了！酒鬼大大居然跟那个叫千里一醉的是一对！我的双鬼啊！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCWBEFhLo0
小晴：哦，我无所谓啦，反正我是公子总受派的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuxN2IETlm
佑哥：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbMb5GOZ6b
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oO9qhh5vF
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MIB2uRtyO
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBqhcbwPbT
7、有一天，御天在三次元里碰到了漂流。（私设）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnNp43wyH4
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceoPioclnK
御天：QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjgQRYVfV4
战无伤：怎么了？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3hsMxThvD
御天：我今天遇到漂流了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbbsMjscye
战无伤：你不是天天都遇到他么。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQuaH14AVa
御天：不是说游戏里，是在电梯里遇到的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡog0zeocwOn
战无伤：哪儿的电梯？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7b42I13ZkJ
御天：家里的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJSZzDWnVp
战无伤：哟，你们还是邻居啊？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhZT1rdfaM
御天：对啊，我也不想的！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCEZfEKuRh
战无伤：[蜡烛]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEU7jZDV0l
（过了几天）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AOP8yRT5U
御天：漂流你给我滚出来！有种你跟我单挑！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LdTiplAED
战无伤：他又怎么你了？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKsXSxk4PG
御天：他守我电梯！现在每天都得跟他搭同一部电梯下楼，真是生不如死！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1XSRs2P9V
战无伤：[蜡烛]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHBqRZja8C
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0eu9YyfXD
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvswKUHqEi
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQY3WfhZFdb
8、小雷又研究出了新的酒。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8qLuwo3NO
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73iolT3lHU
小雷：公子，这是我新弄的酒，系统酒馆都没得卖呢。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOVrRD8JR2
公子：哦？不错，来一杯尝尝。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciDsueBtGz
于是小雷很开心地跑进去把新酒端了上来，然后小心翼翼地看着公子品尝。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXF2aqeDUk
小雷：怎么样？还不错吧。我觉得公子会比较喜欢这种口感，所以特地配的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtjc93XUjx
公子：嗯，不错，知我者小雷也。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwvZzBpT20
小雷：嗯嗯。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rQKQiBVBj
公子：小雷，我突然发现，你才是我生命中最重要的人。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngVlntUbaT
小雷：公子！（泪花闪闪感动状）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqusUFMdW5
公子：小雷！（泪花闪闪感动状）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AMqETUVw3
千里突然有了深深的危机感。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75FLWamads
佑哥：嘿嘿，新酒不错啊，小雷也给我们上一份吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEK6WGRH4D
小雷：你们？哦，做这个酒挺费时间的，我做了好几天才做出几杯，都要留着给公子呢。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFDLr9PBVb
佑哥：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfoN5MFn45
小雷：不过倒是可以给你们喝点别的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzvkhAkl72
过了一会儿，小雷又端上来几份不属于系统酒的不明液体，一人一杯地放在众人的面前。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCddOgJNQI
佑哥：……这是啥？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64FoCTnwwb
小雷：研究过程中的副产品，看在你们是公子的朋友的份上就免费给你们喝好了。用的材料也很贵，倒掉怪浪费的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizCTWSPNz4
佑哥：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IdoI3O8SN
众人突然有了深深的危机感。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuS9xMg5stC
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdi3C4Q5fTt
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvmfSMH1XBH
FREETALK32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnlJGYSnW4
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2ax6RR9Vr
感谢收养这份……没什么意义的段子集XD。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinOnf6WX7f
看完近战以后就很HAPPY地各种脑补，并弃无数坑于不顾地来写近战的段子。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOvr1LoZTx
近战里一直很很很很很喜欢漂流，直到他黑掉，我惊悚脸啊！御天也非常可爱，每次碰到漂流都一副炸毛的样子，我于是便当机立断这是一对XD（神马逻辑！）。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzLCtgxUU6
韩家公子也是我超喜欢的类型，智慧型美男啊~~~~~然后每次公子指点江山，我都会很YY地想着，公子你果然不愧是贤内助。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfxtdDEC4v
然后是御天和战无伤，万年泡妞无果二人组，这两个人一老一少一搭一唱总觉得也很有意思~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwKlEz7lj4
剑鬼是最最最正直的真汉子！所以脑补他每次被众人的各种欢脱弄得无语到麻木，于是笑而不语。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMHtmJG7bg
至于佑哥的话，情报王嘛~ 情报=八卦（不对！）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm733ceKNlg
总之，如果以后还有机会也会在写近战的段子~欢迎大家来我微博或者博客上看哦~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7RhM5e8gM
以上~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlt7NA0MSM
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5rbD3AMD7
2013年11月
ns 15.158.61.6da2 32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmDtcNUUkZ
漂流：又迷路了吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwyhtJdv9Z
御天：切，我只是在闲逛，你滚远点，风景里有你都变差了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjHULpvU5w
漂流：要去哪儿啊，我送你去呗。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHMKjgbQ5u
御天：都说了你滚滚滚滚滚！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTjgto9SXGz
漂流笑而不语，一会儿道：我跟剑鬼消息了，他说你们在小雷酒馆集合，这都差了大半个城了，你怎么能迷到这儿来的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAFDNUffjm
御天：要你管！我跟公子要卷轴过去。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00n1w1Mp0G
公子（消息）：卷轴5000金。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHorrYMWlGY
御天：QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHp24nv555p
漂流：你看，所以说还是我送你过去吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5a8s1bhXKz
左手&右手一齐点头。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57e0fscjoa
漂流：今天的风景挺好的，我们走走看看过去好了。反正你已经迟到了，也不差再晚一点。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNR0qB9JZY
御天：……你他妈走就走！拉我手算什么！给我放开！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEa465PWCcD
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahJRpUQrXB
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbsjf7OMsT
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWssMpc6wUg
2、有一天，大家一起在小雷酒馆喝酒。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnoyC7IMpu
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQebYQbKOO
公子：小雷，这酒不错，再来两杯。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5ZtAb5j8W
小雷：好~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwe1lILbwF
御天：公子好像已经喝了好几杯了，怎么还要喝啊。酒有那么好喝吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73jjYRBLxE
战无伤：这是大人的爱好，小孩子你就不懂了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflqhaNjina
御天：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WgpJ7ZTer
佑哥：不过公子喝了那么多……我算算，大概得有5000金酒钱了吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxGMrLc1Uv
战无伤：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2JcMRDwuV
剑鬼：重要的是，待会儿我们好像有任务，他喝成这样我们还能做任务吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzd2ykAQ3a
众人：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmGQY6r3Xt
公子已醉，面色红润，东倒西歪。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3szionypS
佑哥：那个，要不谁来阻止一下他？（小声）反正我是不敢……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV531jWPRxm
战无伤&御天：我也……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6OxWGkQgb
剑鬼笑而不语。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7VGDJr7HT
千里：一群人婆婆妈妈的是不是爷们啊，我来！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0yre3WDnO
众人：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lKaCOiKxo
千里（一把夺走公子手中的酒杯）：公子，别喝了，要做正经事，赶紧的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyIRPWaXcX
公子（媚眼瞪来，看似秋波暗送，实为横眉冷对）：还来。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNpthY17Ued
千里：别喝了，这都几点了，做完任务我还赶着下线呢。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDcSo5rk85o
众人：切~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIctObkFyn
公子（不断往千里身上靠，伸手去捞酒杯）：还来。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8FaYvqnHi
千里（慌乱状）：喂，你别乱来啊。大庭广众的……你给我下去，下去。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTR3ZtxtJI
公子（整个人都坐到了千里的身上，蹭来蹭去）：还来。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyD6ox61oZ
千里：擦！你们别光顾着看，帮忙啊！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlADvePI8Cy
众人：你爷们你自己搞定。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rU3QCeELU
千里分身无术，只得趁乱自己把酒给喝了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyR7kela0p
千里：好了好了，走了走了，做任务去。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGmy1076yY
公子：嗯？这里好像有酒的味道，是藏在这里了嘛？（摸着千里的唇）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpvpezcAhL
佑哥&剑鬼默默看向两边，战无伤蒙住御天的眼睛。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewCcyVit6V
御天：干嘛蒙住我，我要看，我要看。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQK2MO5yf1
公子按住千里的脑袋送上香吻一个，千里瞪大着眼睛看着公子妖孽的面容近在咫尺。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0XJf840UGO
系统：您的心跳过快，为了您的身体健康，系统将在十秒后强制离线，现在开始倒计时，十，九……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTj8h6AWaG
于是只见白光一闪，千里从酒馆消失了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkywB8fFdtP
公子：切，怂货。小雷~再来两杯酒。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIIa0umd7w
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIYprrGvKR
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlWjd9MQx3
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpWyVxLnJ7
3、和漂流一起做任务。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHSEvFRnHx
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3falCmDLZZ
御天：为什么这个家伙会在这里！！！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVnVHHL0Gd
剑鬼：咳，漂流是过来帮忙做任务的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjrM82wXgl
御天：强烈要求把这个家伙踢出队伍！他一定是来当奸细的！奸细！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHpiP7EaMa
剑鬼：好了，我们来谈一下这次任务怎么分配。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Mnum5LJ6B
御天：……QAQ（被坐在旁边的漂流微笑着顺毛）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzhexM9Yju
公子：这一次的任务是千里弄来的，啧，又是一个越级的奇葩任务，线索也不是很明确。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQyYc9tUKz
千里：嘿嘿。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOFnsOn8RV
公子：首先是主城沙漠古城的北部有一个教堂废墟，根据任务提示，里面应该会有线索。剑鬼和千里去那边调查一下，随时在频道里报告情况。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFrf4bnP4v
千里&剑鬼：好。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkn0WSVJtsP
公子：接着是所谓城外有关海市蜃楼的传言，那是我们最终要去的地方。佑哥和战无伤一起去打探一下，找一下有没有入口。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4yYPJYSMR
佑哥：包在我身上了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9yI3hlvuV
公子：然后是那个强盗寨子，剩下还有谁？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4u8wmC9rJt
御天：我，我。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsyKYxOIvv
公子：嗯，那你和漂流一起去打探一下情况。左手也去，右手和我留在城里做接应。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHXseuTAJx
御天：我反对！我不要和这个家伙一起行动！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIfVT7pz00
公子：反对无效，你能自己找到寨子的位置吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZOap1eO8f
御天：……QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU15lqeO0pt
公子：好了，那就出发吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdCZdJXG36
公子掏出卷轴，白光一闪，众人便从小雷酒馆里消失了，随后九个人便一起出现在了主城沙漠古城里。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WVOt2Dt6B
御天：公子，可不可以我和佑哥去查海市蜃楼，战无伤跟着你，让右手和那家伙去寨子，反正他们三个人经常一起行动。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJE6Y0gwyWW
战无伤：我去！我难得一次不当保镖我容易吗，别跟我抢啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2qqWCniNp
公子：漂流他们都看不到佣兵团频道，联络起来不方便。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0Wm7Xb9IY
御天：那，那我就跟战无伤换，让战无伤跟着那家伙好了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRJYj7diQO
佑哥：别啊，带你去，到时候我是找入口还是找你啊……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6ln4C2bHE
御天：……QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dOV5LqgeQ
于是漂流开开心心地搂着呆滞中的御天出发了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2l9WbuYcdw
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5AB6808bQ
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzg0sqeZ9j
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwhFcciO8X
4、和漂流一起埋伏。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uOaDWNDpj
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqHbvXDpeHn
御天：……我们为什么要在草堆里埋伏……我们不是来跟NPC打探消息的吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiR2RK6GJQ
漂流：这里的NPC比较特殊，都是强盗，指不定一见面就直接化身开怪，所以我们要先观察一下。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvzXd6kZhv
御天：那左手为什么不来埋伏？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzZnEASs9r
漂流：全部都埋伏了，就没有人和NPC说话了啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcZK4MJgWb
御天：我可以去，你和左手埋伏观察好了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOv4ANQvvz
漂流：可是那样的话我会不放心啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYatWcQVuQg
御天：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lrSxRNQOC
左手和第一个NPC说话，没有被砍。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPs2uiTHv3F
御天：好像没什么危险，要么我们也出去吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0krIUHD6S
漂流：不好说，等等再看看。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpySFbMyqx
左手和第二个NPC说话，还是没有被砍。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sIdpBkwtW
御天：好像真没什么危险，我说你是不是太胆小了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleEHbp08nJ
漂流：不是胆小是谨慎。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCOrrSPflC
左手和第三个NPC说话，依旧没有被砍。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbOW9dmFz2
御天：好像真……………………TMD你在摸哪儿！你敢吃我豆腐！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcQx5tjKx0
漂流：我只是怕你蹲久了身子麻，帮你揉一揉。乖~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzTuCi9pAO
御天：滚！蹲久了也用不着揉【哗——】啊！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZ5KrhtMeN
（佣兵团频道内）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwNEesad2E
御天：我抗议！我正在被那个家伙性骚扰！QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdysfVLyRAD
众人：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRndR405AEQ
公子：啧，漂流眼光真差。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlWim6ZMzJ
千里：就是。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ihcNoQmCJ
众人：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYI8z6NUrHN
御天：靠！你们这对狗男男。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbI8UFxccRG
御天决定自救，遂掏出家伙对着漂流。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvL0gSRoKsM
御天：信不信我现在就砍了你。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBL6A1bgg24
漂流：距离太近了，你射不到我的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVAJjxfST2
御天：靠！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv6dSPw5HP
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHKbvOOqlX
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUApSH6iaq
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2T0jCora0
5、又到了一年一度的情人节，游戏里也举办了活动。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6diip9VlG
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nBBWiTxcS
剑鬼：系统通知都收到了吗？情人节貌似有特殊任务。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37mnBw4wD0
战无伤：情人节任务关你什么事，你连对象都没有。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIofTdFWPh
剑鬼：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2ciO0tEil
佑哥：根据我的情报，貌似也不是只有情侣才能做任务，还有单身的任务。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WxwqVZYqi
御天：啧，你们这群光棍就去做光棍任务吧，我去找葡萄妹子陪我做情侣任务，哈哈。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiICRWHJ4ln
众人：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxPAvxPYUv
御天欢天喜地地奔去找葡萄妹子了，剩下的三人结伴来到街上，打算去接任务。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGlP24Szui
剑鬼：任务怎么接？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQiiwYE0zH
佑哥：听说是找城里的NPC接，具体还没有打听到，但听说一看就明白。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZbXSXTXrY
战无伤：是指那个吗？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfxfFaGTUu
战无伤指着不远处一排卫兵，只是与平时不同的是，几乎每个卫兵头上都戴着一个写着“死”字的头巾。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBt3cEHqNn
佑哥：大概……走过去看看。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9aT5LKTnh
三人走到一个戴着“死”字头巾的卫兵面前。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpSCY11GkT
剑鬼：情人节任务怎么接？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF731puWMP
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！拿好这根火柴，去烧掉10对“隐秘的情侣”就可以成为我们的高级团员，我在这里等你消息。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRs3hCZmHBN
系统：是否接收道具“光棍之棍”？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToySsIkMQo
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIDkvB7yFKa
战无伤：怎么样怎么样，我看卫兵好像给了你个什么东西？武器？加什么的？啧，一上来就发东西，真大方啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCKYVOV3CT
剑鬼：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsJmbsHRCtI
战无伤：嘿嘿，我也去领一个，你们等着。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVvnRpog89
过了一会儿，战无伤领好任务回来了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUpJyzzrik
战无伤：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2PugqpB7W
过了一会儿，佑哥也领好任务回来了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhP0caS3Fit
佑哥：擦！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqnsG5NOUoM
剑鬼：不知道没有带头巾的卫兵有什么区别？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKFL4kfDGM
佑哥：再去试试看呗。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV1wv6Octm
三人走到没有带头巾的卫兵面前。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoWs7vkXvf
剑鬼：情人节任务……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfz87KYsXl
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……咦？你是去死去死团的！！不要烧我啊！我没有女朋友！！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHf5yzd5yAq
剑鬼：……什么乱七八糟的东西。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7966tafZDk
（与此同时，同城的另一个角落）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2cGdNiF0N
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……你们看，我连礼物都买好了，是她一直想要的项链，你们可不可以帮我送去给她？这对戒指就当做酬劳送给你们好了，上次买来被她嫌弃难看。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BdXzEKp0D
系统：是否接收道具“情侣戒指”？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeh35hTLaj
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbenuNiyIjk
剑鬼&佑哥&战无伤千辛万苦终于烧完情侣回来了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mKrDguIsf
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！干得好，你们真是去死去死团的楷模！这个礼盒是成为高级团员的奖品，里面的东西你应该用得上。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6TXI5hH2e
三人打开礼盒后，发现都是自己职业用得上的装备。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmCiyZX2y8S
佑哥：还真是普通的奖品啊，不过属性还不错。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vVT07eBVR
剑鬼：我这个没什么用，还没有我现在用的那个属性好。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZoZnvPPXO
战无伤：奖品算什么，烧情侣才是重点。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFEta2SOIe
佑哥&剑鬼：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1cDo7gbJxU
这时，三人突然看见御天气势汹汹地从远处走过来。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR0wE4DdfR
佑哥：哎，御天，情侣任务的奖品是什么啊？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ10ofiQGJpu
御天：…………………………漂流在哪里！！让我烧了他！！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS7119zzS8
然后御天又气势汹汹地踩踏着红尘滚滚地离开了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRVlAf89c4
佑哥：御天怎么了？吃火药了？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitsW9mIh3X
公子：他只是被漂流坑了，不能和葡萄一起做情侣任务了而已。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5TxGqqypN
佑哥：这样哦。哎哎？公子你来了？咦？千里也在。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrUxdeePql
公子：想知道情侣任务的奖品？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmDoRvQboK
佑哥：是呀，是呀，公子你知道。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80dO7qBV7n
公子：就是这么个玩意儿。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK152DnBKPm
公子从衣服里掏出了一枚戒指，随意地扔在众人面前。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJCJ3B0l5b
佑哥：我看看。情侣戒指，任务物品，不可交易，火法抗性+20%！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQL2LVSpuZL
剑鬼：数值挺高的啊。不过火法抗性对你没什么用吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFupK7YJfa
公子：活动的噱头而已。一开始发任务时候就给的，任务完成后可以永久持有。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNQDXa9ZSX
战无伤：等等！公子你和谁一起做的任务！难道是去重生紫晶借的妹子！这样的好事怎么不叫上我啊。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpk5PFSXLk
公子：和千里做的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyxoZfstAP
战无伤：原来是和千里做的啊……神马！和千里！男人也行！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjs2SoJNaxF
公子：谁跟你们说过情侣任务只能男女做。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NywKvWa4K
战无伤：靠！无耻！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtV4DvbRvFg
（N个城外的某个角落）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1QML6WQLH
漂流：我说，你总是这么追杀我，我都没法去找那个谁的女朋友了，任务完成不了对我们谁都没好处。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWKn9qvaA4
御天：去死吧！谁要跟你完成情侣任务！完成不了最好！去死去死去死！！！！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuU79a24VzM
漂流：都说了这么近你射不到我的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMcIDu3oxB
御天：那就滚远点！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzKdcJ8DvL
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fx9cgceR2
* 补充：32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhW8qW0QHt0
如果不是两个人去找非去死去死团的NPC：32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTyJ9SMFcU
卫兵：哎哎，明明是情人节，我却要在这里值班，我都已经和女朋友约好了，却临时放她鸽子，不知道会不会被讨厌……对啦，我有女朋友的事情可不要跟我旁边的兄弟说，他们是去死去死团的，我怕我会被烧掉。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6n5PUDAnpo
如果领好了情侣任务再去找去死去死团NPC：32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJesjdHi4nk
卫兵：啊啊啊啊啊！！伟大的去死去死团欢迎你！！神马！你们是情侣！烧掉！！（受到卫兵火法攻击，不过情侣戒指的火法抗性针对该NPC是100%的，记得带好就不会挂。）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfAUyv4Rjm
关于情侣任务里的卫兵的女朋友：32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tkVoZDe6K
看起来貌似找到就可以了，不过其实是个boss需要打一打。把项链交给女朋友后，女朋友会很快注意到情侣玩家身上携带的情侣戒指。虽然是自己曾经嫌弃的东西，但是看到戴在别人的身上依旧会暴走。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lHK1JOdfO
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHnwwFyTa3
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQE73rYARGy
6、佑哥在练级区泡到一个妹子。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4Eo5vCE8F
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYnSwleMD5
妹子：哎？你真的是佑哥？那个无所不知的佑哥？（星星眼）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnH3ugMc3nm
佑哥：是啊，你有什么想知道的尽管问我。（自豪状）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9LnkYVbEJ1
妹子：那你快告诉我双鬼谁攻谁受！我纠结这个问题好多年了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmWzBRxgrc
佑哥：额，公子和剑鬼？不是啊，公子和千里才是一对。咦？妹子你要去哪里？等等我呗〜32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KrKMSi6lh
妹子：小晴！我的CP被拆了！酒鬼大大居然跟那个叫千里一醉的是一对！我的双鬼啊！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCWBEFhLo0
小晴：哦，我无所谓啦，反正我是公子总受派的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuxN2IETlm
佑哥：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbMb5GOZ6b
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oO9qhh5vF
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MIB2uRtyO
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7、有一天，御天在三次元里碰到了漂流。（私设）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnNp43wyH4
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceoPioclnK
御天：QAQ32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjgQRYVfV4
战无伤：怎么了？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3hsMxThvD
御天：我今天遇到漂流了。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbbsMjscye
战无伤：你不是天天都遇到他么。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQuaH14AVa
御天：不是说游戏里，是在电梯里遇到的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡog0zeocwOn
战无伤：哪儿的电梯？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7b42I13ZkJ
御天：家里的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJSZzDWnVp
战无伤：哟，你们还是邻居啊？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhZT1rdfaM
御天：对啊，我也不想的！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCEZfEKuRh
战无伤：[蜡烛]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEU7jZDV0l
（过了几天）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AOP8yRT5U
御天：漂流你给我滚出来！有种你跟我单挑！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LdTiplAED
战无伤：他又怎么你了？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKsXSxk4PG
御天：他守我电梯！现在每天都得跟他搭同一部电梯下楼，真是生不如死！32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1XSRs2P9V
战无伤：[蜡烛]32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHBqRZja8C
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8、小雷又研究出了新的酒。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8qLuwo3NO
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73iolT3lHU
小雷：公子，这是我新弄的酒，系统酒馆都没得卖呢。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOVrRD8JR2
公子：哦？不错，来一杯尝尝。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciDsueBtGz
于是小雷很开心地跑进去把新酒端了上来，然后小心翼翼地看着公子品尝。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXF2aqeDUk
小雷：怎么样？还不错吧。我觉得公子会比较喜欢这种口感，所以特地配的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtjc93XUjx
公子：嗯，不错，知我者小雷也。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwvZzBpT20
小雷：嗯嗯。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rQKQiBVBj
公子：小雷，我突然发现，你才是我生命中最重要的人。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngVlntUbaT
小雷：公子！（泪花闪闪感动状）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqusUFMdW5
公子：小雷！（泪花闪闪感动状）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AMqETUVw3
千里突然有了深深的危机感。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75FLWamads
佑哥：嘿嘿，新酒不错啊，小雷也给我们上一份吧。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEK6WGRH4D
小雷：你们？哦，做这个酒挺费时间的，我做了好几天才做出几杯，都要留着给公子呢。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFDLr9PBVb
佑哥：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEfoN5MFn45
小雷：不过倒是可以给你们喝点别的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzvkhAkl72
过了一会儿，小雷又端上来几份不属于系统酒的不明液体，一人一杯地放在众人的面前。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQCddOgJNQI
佑哥：……这是啥？32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64FoCTnwwb
小雷：研究过程中的副产品，看在你们是公子的朋友的份上就免费给你们喝好了。用的材料也很贵，倒掉怪浪费的。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizCTWSPNz4
佑哥：……32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IdoI3O8SN
众人突然有了深深的危机感。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuS9xMg5stC
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FREETALK32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnlJGYSnW4
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感谢收养这份……没什么意义的段子集XD。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinOnf6WX7f
看完近战以后就很HAPPY地各种脑补，并弃无数坑于不顾地来写近战的段子。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOvr1LoZTx
近战里一直很很很很很喜欢漂流，直到他黑掉，我惊悚脸啊！御天也非常可爱，每次碰到漂流都一副炸毛的样子，我于是便当机立断这是一对XD（神马逻辑！）。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzLCtgxUU6
韩家公子也是我超喜欢的类型，智慧型美男啊~~~~~然后每次公子指点江山，我都会很YY地想着，公子你果然不愧是贤内助。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfxtdDEC4v
然后是御天和战无伤，万年泡妞无果二人组，这两个人一老一少一搭一唱总觉得也很有意思~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwKlEz7lj4
剑鬼是最最最正直的真汉子！所以脑补他每次被众人的各种欢脱弄得无语到麻木，于是笑而不语。32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMHtmJG7bg
至于佑哥的话，情报王嘛~ 情报=八卦（不对！）32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm733ceKNlg
总之，如果以后还有机会也会在写近战的段子~欢迎大家来我微博或者博客上看哦~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7RhM5e8gM
以上~32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlt7NA0MSM
32Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5rbD3AMD7
2013年11月
