Darkness.
No, not entirely.
Light slanted in through a window, muted by heavy curtain.
Flat light.
Vera hated flat light.
It was the worst for anything, shadows playing tricks on you, showing you things that weren’t there and throwing a cloak over that which was.
She sat up, the weight of the few blankets over her an incredible load to bear. Her stomach crept towards her feet as her eyes flitted over her unfamiliar surroundings: a spartan bedroom, bare but for the bed she sat on and a low dresser across from it. Even with the lack of furniture, the sun threw darkness over the room as an abstract artist would paint, shades of uncertain light giving way to deep darkness, no sign given of what lay within.
Dexterous fingers massaged her pounding forehead as Vera tried to take stock of what had happened. She had finally been able to let go, finally able to say goodbye to this rotten relationship with the world, the twisted dance of pain the universe led her through. She had broken the chain, she had gotten out. She had died.
Or had she?
She remembered the rain on her face, the sight of the dark grey but somehow welcoming sky opening up and pouring down, down as she fell. She remembered the pain lancing through her head, the flash of light that all but blinded her. And that was it.
No…
It wasn’t.
She remembered hands, soft hands, gentle hands holding her, lifting her up and laying her down. She remembered eyes, purple, shining with pain, remembered rain not being the only liquid that dripped onto her.
Why didn’t she just let me die?
Vera forced back the bile rising in her throat, the acidic liquid giving rise to a series of dry, hacking coughs that shook her whole body, leaving her gasping for breath.
Is she still here?
Parched lips cracked open and an unused throat tried to call out to her.
But nothing came.
What?
She tried again.
Nothing.
Wh…what?
On the third try, she screamed for all she was worth, the rush of air torturing her throat. The faintest of noises escaped her mouth, a rasping breath, but it wasn’t enough.
Her throat worn raw from the effort, every breath was torture. Vera coughed and hacked and coughed again, blood splattering over the sheets and staining her teeth red, unwanted tears welling in her eyes as her vocal cords tore themselves to shreds.
The sound of ceramic shattering against unyielding floor echoed into the room as the door was flung open and a blonde whirlwind swept into the space, her eyes alight with worry and relief entwined. A light was flicked on and knees met wood as she hung over the bed, her mouth already forming w
ords, burning questions.
“Are you okay? Did- What- How- Oh, deus are you okay?”
Every word out of her mouth edged her closer, closer, too close. Vera tried to push her away, but the touch wasn’t taken the way she intended. Instead, the blonde took her hand in both of her own, distress clouding her gaze as Vera fought down another cough. The touch was like lightning, the pain in Vera’s chest near forgotten as her fingers wrapped around the other’s wrist and she twisted violently, spinning her way on top and forcing the girl’s arms over her head as her knees pinned her to the bed and her forearm pressed none too gently against her throat.
The cold precision in Vera’s face stuttered and crumbled as her eyes met the scared -no, terrified- eyes of the other girl. Her arm dropped from her victim’s throat and her fingers loosened around her wrist, only to feel a hand patting her arm, forgiveness lit in her features and followed by embarrassment as her eyes fell to Vera’s barely clothed figure.
She’s going to get herself killed if she keeps acting like that.
Vera tore her gaze away from the other and shoved herself off the bed, intent on the door and beyond, escape, but a shadow on the edge of the room caught her attention. It seemed to be moving, faster and faster as she looked at it, spreading over the entire floor. Then it crept up to meet her, and everything was dark.
She woke again, alone again.
Or so she thought.
A pair of hands cupped one of hers, their warmth seeping through Vera’s skin like a poison, spreading through her blood and threatening to stop her heart. Her eyes were closed, though, and her hair fell, a curtain around her face, keeping her sleeping features hidden.
Vera swallowed back the urge to flip the girl off of her again, instead slowly retracting her hand from the other’s grip and sitting up. The blankets fell to the floor behind her as she rose to her feet, a bit more slowly this time, and searched for her clothes, reveling in the familiar weight of her sweatshirt and pants and even relaxing a bit as she strapped her knives to her person.
She allowed her gaze to fall back on the sleeping girl one more time, a smile ghosting over her features as her mouth framed words she could not say, but that the other could hear nonetheless.
Thank you.
This time, she got to the door.
But the shadow caught up.
This time, as she woke, something woke with her. The hands that had cupped hers this time were firmly on her shoulders, blonde hair falling across eyes filled with the same fire that Vera saw before.
Again, Vera struggled against the temptation to throw the other girl off, her hands clenching into fists as she remembered the look of horror in her face.
That wasn’t there now, oh no.
The worry and hesitancy in the girl’s eyes has been swept under the rug, buried deep in exchange for such an abundance of determination that it was almost intimidating.
Almost.
But Vera could still see the worry in her gaze, the uncertainty and apprehension that came hand in hand with such intent. She could see the root cause, the concern, the anxiety that fueled the facade before her.
It became even more evident as she spoke, her forceful words trembling with underlying fear, the undercurrent of empathy that kept the river of her thoughts moving.
“Listen.”
And did she ever.
“I had to put 23 stitches in your throat and I’d rather not do that again any time soon, so if you could kindly wait until you’re actually healed before you run off to try to kill yours-“ the pause came just a second too late, it was out.
She could see the words weigh down the slight girl’s shoulders, her already tiny frame compressing down, down, her raven-dark hair falling over her eyes, beautiful eyes, that filled with pain.
I wanted to die! I don’t want to be here anymore! Is what Vera wanted to say, tried to say, but couldn’t. The words got to her throat, but all that came out was the faintest hush of air, almost a breath, the faintest of sighs.
Tears rose to the other girl’s eyes, and as Vera looked up to meet her gaze they spilled over, tracking down a face that looked like it hadn’t slept for more than an hour in days.
“I’m sorry,” she choked out, her voice catching on the syllables that had been said before, in a much different scenario.
“I’m sorry.”
Vera’s hand twitched; once, twice, three times, until it rose slowly, painfully, hesitantly to her shoulder. She sucked in a deep, shuddering breath and forced everything out of her mind, wiping it of all thoughts and feelings, except for her sense of touch.
She could feel the hand on her arm, the warmth of it rippling through her skin and the safety. The security such a small touch provided scared her. She didn’t need anyone else to feel safe.
I can protect myself.
But then Vera looked back up, at eyes squeezed almost painfully shut, salty tears still leaking out around their edges, at the one who had set her free from the patter she had fallen in to, and let the breath out again.
It’s not for me. It’s for her.
And her hand rose once more, lifted up and over her shoulder, so close that she could feel the heat resonating off of the other’s hand.
And descended.
It was awkward, Vera’s hand bumping against the other girl’s, her calloused fingers grating against the smooth surface of her skin, her thumb not quite sure where to go. Eventually, she gave up on trying to make it fit and just rested her hand there, willing the girl to get the point already and stop crying.
After what felt like an eternity, she did.
She wiped her eyes, sniffed a bit, and looked at Vera’s hand.
Then she smiled.
And this time, the shadow stayed back.
Even as the other girl slumped, her shoulders drooping as she fell into a much-needed sleep.
Even as Vera closed her eyes and let darkness watch over her, he shadows stayed back.
As long as their hands were touching, the shadows stayed back.
But when they separated, the shadows returned.
A/N: Here's a nice, long chapter for you guys, thanks so, so much for sticking with me :P OH MY GOD SHE'S NOT DEAD haha hope you enjoy, can't wait t'share chapter 9 with ya! Have a great week! ~V
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