Dear Adam,
I don’t know if I was ever truly in love with you. I only got to know you through Selina, and during those tough times, you were there for me. You supported me when I needed it the most. You told me often how you were in love with me, and I know I hurt you when I canceled our plans, when I wasn’t mentally able to go out, when I skipped school. For that, I am sorry.
I’m also grateful that you told me what Selina had said about me. I never wanted to cause you pain, and I regret how things turned out. I’m sorry for ghosting you and for pushing you away. I know you were just a teenage boy in love, and I didn’t handle it well. I’m sorry for canceling our date at prom too. I don’t even know why I felt uncomfortable with you, but I did. Looking back, I’m not sure if I truly liked you, or if you were just a distraction at a time when I was so lost.
You came into my life when I was at one of my lowest points, and I think that’s why I acted the way I did. You were moving too fast for me, too direct. Even though we were never in a relationship, it often felt like we were. When we stopped texting, when we started going our separate ways, I felt a sense of freedom, a weight lifted.
I still see you in the hallways at school, and I notice how you watch me pass by with those big, brown eyes. Sometimes it hurts when you quickly look away and start talking to your friends, but I’ve come to accept that. I think it’s okay. We’ve both gone our separate ways, and that’s how it’s meant to be.
I truly hope you find someone one day who can love you the way you deserve, someone who won’t play with your heart the way Selina did. It’s sad, but I know you’ll always fall for her.
Take care of yourself.
Your ex
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