XIX
(edited.)
Taylor looked at his glass of bourbon, admiring the color as he thought back to Carmen's words.
"Do you still have feelings for her?"
He ran a hand through his hair before taking a sip of the drink, thinking about the answer. He knew that a large part of him still had feelings for Stacy─he would've been a fool if he said that he didn't. However, he couldn't ignore the small part of him which was beginning to grow feelings for Carmen as they spent more time together. And the fact that she was carrying his baby didn't help him to suppress the feeling.
He finished the rest of the drink in one gulp and gestured to the bartender for a refill. Wordlessly, the bartender poured more into his glass.
"Thanks," Taylor said, still looking down at the glass. He didn't look up to see as the bartender nodded his head in acknowledgement before turning his attention to another customer. Instead, all he could think of was the mess which he had gotten himself into.
Of course, a large part of him still wished that he hadn't fallen under the influence of his best friend at the party. If only he had been strong enough to listen to the words of his coach, he would still be with Stacy and he wouldn't have a baby on the way.
However, he couldn't ignore the pride which he felt whenever he saw Carmen walking around with that baby bump. As those thoughts repeated in his mind over and over, he began to feel frustrated to the point where he couldn't stop himself from hitting the counter.
The bartender immediately turned his attention to him and asked,
"Everything okay man?"
But Taylor didn't hear him. Or at least he chose not to listen. And instead he requested another drink. When his glass was full, he drank all of the contents in one gulp and asked for a refill.
Reluctantly, the bartender filled his glass. But once again, Taylor finished it quickly and asked for another.
"I think you've had enough─"
"Don't tell me what to do! Pour me the f*cking drink!"
To avoid agitating his customer, the bartender refilled his glass.
However, as soon as he finished that glass, his head began to pound intensely as his vision became dizzy.
"Hey are you okay?" he heard a distant voice ask him. But before he could reply, his vision filled with darkness before his head hit the counter as he fainted.
* * *
"Taylor!"
From a distance, he heard his name being called but he couldn't tell if it was real or if he was imagining it. It wasn't until he felt someone shaking him, that he opened his eyes to find Carmen worriedly looking at him. And as soon as he recognized her, a large smile took over his face.
"Hey Carmen, what's up?" he asked as if he was not drunk.
"This isn't the time to chat, we need to get you home," she told him. She went to help him stand up but he pushed her arm away. He didn't need to be sober to notice the rush of disappointment which filled her before she pushed it away, attempting to not allow it to show.
"I messed up," he barely whispered, "I don't think I can go home with you, Carmen."
"Why not?" she asked.
But he didn't say anything for several moments, causing her to walk away from him. As he watched her retreating figure, he couldn't stop beating himself up for creating such a huge mess. However, in all the messiness, there was a light which pointed to Carmen. He knew that he had messed up badly with Stacy. However, Carmen was willing to put all of that aside to allow him to be the father of his child. And for that, he knew that he'd be a fool if he didn't take that opportunity.
And because of that, he stood up and walked as fast as he could, without falling over from the dizziness, towards her. As she reached for the door of the bar, he grabbed onto her free hand and turned her around. She looked at him as he looked at her.
"I'm not going back to her. I know I messed up with her but you got hurt too and I can't ignore that."
"What are you trying to say?" she asked him. He took in a deep breath and exhaled before replying.
"Honestly, I want to be with you. But I can't ignore all the pain that I've caused you and because of that, I don't know if I deserve you."
His grip on her hand loosened but she quickly held on to him.
"I don't know what you deserve or don't deserve. But what I do know is that this child," she pointed to her bulging belly, "your child deserves a father. And no one can do that but you."
Over the short period of time that they had spent together, he had come to realize that she was truly gifted with words. She always knew what to say to make things seem clearer to him. But he couldn't stop the nagging feeling he felt for hurting her.
"Carmen─"
"Taylor you don't need to push aside your feelings for Stacy. All that I'm asking of you is that while you decide, think of your child and what would be best for him or her."
And after hearing her say that, there was no doubt in his mind that choosing to stay by her side─ at least for now─was the best thing to do. And because of that, he couldn't stop himself from pulling her closer to him, to give her a hug.
ns 15.158.61.6da2
