Who doesn’t like sleepovers? It's a childhood memory that will last for all our lives. Even at 12 years old, I love sleepovers with my friends. It is a sanctuary from our parents and every adult. When we had sleepovers, we were the ones that made the rules. This meant a sleepover was a night full of playing video games, watching movies, staying up late, eating junk food, telling jokes, and sharing secrets. It was like a secret club of best friends who shared this special time.
My friends and I had sleepovers once a month. We would take turns at each other's houses. They were all boys from my class, so sleepovers were a place where we knew each other well as well as something we looked forward to. Ethan was the oldest, and he had a very blunt personality. You know he was one of those people who would tell you if he did not like something. People sometimes thought Ethan was very judgemental, especially about the clothes people wore. We saw Ethan as a person with a heart of gold who would never get a job where diplomacy was needed. Then there was Lucas, who was very organised and with all the ideas. Lucas was concerned about success and money, so he would end up being a millionaire one day. Then there was Samuel, who was a saint. Samuel was known for helping animals that he found injured or lost. He could not accept that any animal should suffer and thought that it was a human duty to help animals.
So this story starts when we were at a sleepover at Lucas's house. We were, of course, in his bedroom, where his family was not allowed to come in. This was good as Lucas had an annoying little sister. His mom was allowed to come in on the condition that she had snacks or some form of junk food that was not good for our bodies. Ethan did not like junk food as he was worried it would give him acne when we became teens. It was still Ethan who managed to eat the most. I suppose that we were not teens yet, so we did not have to worry about it and could just eat as much as we could.
Lucas was one lucky boy. He had everything that a child could wish for. At times I wondered why he did not have a warehouse for all his toys. He even had a computer with a few screens. His parents were as rich as they could be, so I suppose that Lucas was just a rich boy who got what he wanted. So sleepovers at his house gave us plenty to do. Lucas had the latest computer games and every toy and book we would ever need. This sleepover was not any different. We played computer games. We talked about how strange the teachers at school were. We talked about how bossy parents could be. We wrestled and played truth or dare. It was just like any other sleepover we had.
This was until Ethan was reading a magazine. He was reading about a celebrity our age whose name was Nick Rose. He was also 12 years old like we were, but he was famous across the world for his singing. Nick Rose was a boy who used to sing on YouTube, and some record company discovered him, and now he is the world's biggest pop star, with millions of albums being sold and everything he does going to the top of the charts. All the teenage girls around the world had a crush on him. I will admit that I was not a fan and did not like his music. While I think that Nick Rose has a good voice and has done some cool music videos, I just was not impressed with his music.
Anyhow, Ethan was laughing and started reading up from the magazine what Nick Rose said during an interview, “I have something big to share. For a while now, I've felt like I was trapped in the wrong body—like my mind is that of a girl, but my physical self is still male. It took me some time to understand what it meant, but after much thought, I realised I am transgender. That means I identify as female even though my biological sex is male.
It wasn't easy admitting this because society often expects boys to be tough, strong, and manly. But deep down inside, all I wanted was to feel comfortable with myself. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep, feeling ashamed for being different. My friends would tease me about wanting to dress up as girls or act "girly." And there were days when I wished I could wear skirts instead of shorts and wear earrings without being judged. But then one day, during an interview where they asked how long I had been acting weird, it hit me! This isn't just 'weirdness'; this is who I truly am. So, here goes: I AM A GIRL INSIDE AND OUT. Now I know people will judge, and laugh at me...but honestly, does it matter? Am I not deserving of happiness simply because my body doesn't match who I truly am? No more hiding from who I really am. If this means becoming a role model for others struggling similarly, so be it. Being true to yourself is worth any negative reaction thrown your way. Love yourself first before anyone else can do it for you!”
The other boys laughed and joked at what Ethan read up. Nick Rose had everything he could ever want. He had fame, money, and an easy life at the top. Now he had told the whole world that he was transgender. The boys thought that this was ridiculous, as it's impossible to be a girl when you have a boy's body. Lucas predicted that this would ruin Nick Rose's career, as who wants to be a fan of a sissy boy? Samuel was confused by it all, asking how a boy could think he was a girl when he was born a boy. Lucas said that Nick Rose could wear all the dresses and play with all the Barbie dolls that he wanted, but he would still be a boy. Ethan, thinking that he knew everything, explained that it was a trend with famous people to try and promote LGBT+ issues. What Nick Rose was doing was jumping on a bandwagon and trying to stay relevant. It's part of the woke culture that is in Hollywood. None of us understood a lot of what Ethan was talking about. We were still confused. The boys teased Nick Rose's decision, calling him everything from a wimp to a crazy sissy boy who lost his mind.
I kept quiet and did not say a word. I never liked when people teased or bullied others. It was evil in a way to tease a boy our age whom we never met. In a way, I admired Nick Rose. It couldn’t be easy for him to publicly admit his true feelings and tell the world how he felt. I mean, we have all heard about boys who were gay or felt that they were a girl in a boy's body, but this seemed strange to many other boys our age and hard to understand. I am sure that someone like Ethan would not understand how anyone can dare to be different , while Lucas would just sigh that admitting you're transgender is bad for business, and Nick Rose would lose many of his fans. Samuel, in his innocent way, would not understand why a boy would rather play with Barbie dolls than play soccer. As for me, it was inspiring that a celebrity would be willing to give it all up to be true to himself. This takes a lot of guts and confidence.
The others quickly forgot about Nick Rose, but I could not. While the others slept, my mind was too busy thinking to sleep. I always knew that I was different from other boys but never tried to think too much about it. It seemed safe for me just to try and fit in with the others. I dressed like they did, played sports like they did, and tried to be interested in the same things as they did. I never thought of why I felt so different. I thought there was just something wrong with me. I mean, we are all different, are we not? Maybe I just never dared to find out who I am and why I felt like an outsider. Dakota Rose took the time to find out who he is, and while not many may accept it, he seems happy with the discovery.
I introduced everyone else except myself, so I think it's about time to do that. My name is Elliot, and as you guessed, I am 12 years old. I live with my grandmother because I do not know who my dad is, and my mom can hardly take care of herself, never mind me. That was ok, as Granny was a nice woman. She was old-fashioned, and her house was like a museum. She loved me, and that was the most important thing, despite she could be strict at times. I never needed anything, and she was a great cook. I was not the best student at school, as I could never figure out when we would need algebra. While the normal school subjects were a challenge, the creative ones were something that I was good at. The other students saw me as a quiet and shy boy, and they were right. Granny always told me that I needed more confidence and should socialise more. I would just shrug my shoulders and say that I had three good friends and that was better than many other boys had.
Well, the sleepover confused me, and that was why I was quiet at school the next day, or I should say more quiet than usual. It was hard for me to concentrate during classes, and even when we played soccer during recess, I was mostly just standing there and not trying a lot, which annoyed the others. However, I made a major decision today. I will find out why I feel so different and like an outsider. I had to find out if I was happy or just going along with the flow. I had to find out why Nick Rose's coming out as a transgender person affected me so much and made me think if I am just pretending to be someone I am not.
So when I was at home, I googled Nick Rose and how he discovered who he is. This is how he explained it:
“F or a long time now, I've felt different from other boys my age—like there was this secret inside of me that I couldn't share with anyone else. But no more hiding!
I guess it all started when I played dress-up as a kid. Like, every chance I had, I would wear skirts or dresses instead of shorts or jeans. And not just any clothes either; I loved wearing bright colours, bows in my hair... things girls usually do, right? Even though people told me it wasn't "boyish," those clothes made me feel happy and special somehow. Growing up, it didn't change much—I preferred hanging out with girls over guys because they understood me better. Plus, they liked the same stuff too.
I did not like being called a boy as it felt so wrong.
But then things got complicated because I began realising what these feelings meant about who I really am: deep down inside, I know I'm not a boy, but rather a girl trapped in a guy's body. That realisation hit hard because growing up in society means having expectations placed on you based solely on your gender at birth. So, hiding became crucial for survival. You see, if people knew the truth, life might get difficult since they don't always understand this kind of thing. So, year after year, day after day, I kept pushing away those parts of myself that felt real while trying so desperately to fit into a mould shaped by others.
It got harder over time because as I learnt more about transgender people, everything clicked together. Finally understanding that others went through similar struggles brought relief but also sadness knowing how alone I'd been until finding their stories. Still, even knowing it's normal doesn’t make it easier living with that secret constantly gnawing at me. Sometimes feeling helpless feels worse than actually doing anything about it. But now here we are!
So why did I wait so long? Well, fear mainly: being bullied or mocked is never fun (and often terrifying), plus worrying about disappointing parents and friends added stress onto an already complex situation. What if they wouldn't accept me for who I truly am? Would they love me less? Could I handle seeing them cry due to the pain caused by my revelation? Ultimately, though, I realised staying true to myself matters far more than what other people think or believe. My happiness needs to come first before anything else.
Finally coming clean wasn't easy. There were tears shed and conversations filled with anger and confusion. Yet despite the initial shock, most showed support and love, which warmed my heart tremendously. While acceptance isn't instantaneous for everyone close to us, they have shown patience during our journey thus far. And that makes a world of difference. We're lucky enough to live in an era where awareness around transgender issues has increased dramatically; still, not everywhere shares such positivity, making this process more challenging for some. At least I know who I am ."
I just stared at a picture of Nick Rose smiling in a summer dress ….
ns 15.158.61.48da2
