as you are, not what i want you to be
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0oLX8w721
What I love about you isn’t solely based on the perception or impression you give me or the rest of the world.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSvVh8UgEM
What I love about you are all the reasons why you don’t believe I can love you or that anyone should love you to the depths that I do.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqO7qfGNE66
Your strengths and grace in what you know and are may make you beautiful, but your weaknesses and insecurities make you perfect for me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lXmnco6ce
When I look into your eyes, I see what other men choose not to see. I accept what other men can’t or won’t accept. Choosing to love you will be the easiest thing I’ll ever do, but losing you will be the hardest feat I’d have to overcome.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQSFXubDnp
I can’t promise in the future, I won’t harm you. I can’t promise that I’ll always be the perfect man.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBpHR5ivpk
What I can promise is to learn from my mistakes, to have patience with you even when I don’t have patience with myself and to trust you with every fiber of my being. We may live to grow old together, we may not.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOR7DSHCAtW
No matter when, no matter what time we have now I’ve come to realize the paradox I find myself in: It will always be enough and it will never be enough; I will always be blessed as I will always be cursed.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvskkbdcaeh
Every day that passes makes me joyful because I’m free of the delusion that someone couldn’t love me, when I’m with you I don’t have to hide who I truly am, who I’ve forgotten I could be.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtLj4RJuR8
Every day that passes makes me miserable because I know I have fewer days with you than I’d like. If I could have one wish, it would be to go back in time and relive all the moments we’ve shared.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5F5JJ6BBhQ
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly because none of the great memories would have ever existed without our struggles. The pain has helped us love harder, appreciate the time we have, and give us the patience to love each other in all our forms.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzPoHhLgRx
I vow to love you as you are and not stand in the way of who you want to be. I love you, and I vow to love you for the rest of my life, regardless of where this journey takes us.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9G08K3Gw7
For you, I would do anything and everything, all you have to do is ask.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznA1VsUXsi
Solo
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WUWsIj57f
I have never been much of a talker, I’m comfortable with blending in the background and letting the rest have their fun.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMHN45Jp5H5
It's hard enough for me to focus and get outside of my head, so being in the present or having a conversation is truly difficult and sometimes feels like an impossible task.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyXyOWdHcO
Don’t get me wrong, when I speak and join in, it's fulfilling and people tend to be fond of me, but that doesn’t make it any easier to partake in any social environment.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQusmwVGkkU
I thrive in isolation, especially when I get my hands on a project dealing with creativity or using my imagination whether it is to create music, write, digital art, or an invention for random issues that I am ill-equipped to bring to fruition outside of the digital realm and into reality.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxsYpn43ovw
If I’m not in a constant state of flow, I don’t feel any purpose and shortly begin to lose interest in anything at hand that doesn’t seem productive.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ulpAVWVBg
What doesn’t help is that none of my creations have any substance outside of my laptop, it's so much easier to create, save, and then return to it later without committing to more.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5pAnvgNHN
All I am is committed to fantasizing about what I feel would make my life better; falling in love with the random girl who stares at me from across the room, waiting for her to smile at me so I can approach while thinking of a hundred different conversations we could have and the best way for me to make a good impression.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhyB6DVRjQ
I think about a life with this person; how our worlds would collide and we’d both be better off for it until finances get in the way, my living situation being back home with my parents, my sobriety which will always mean I’m an addict whether I am sober or not.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEjpL7Y7LDe
In minutes I think of everything that could go right, and then everything that could go wrong. I’ve always been in love with falling in love.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Dk4uGCYKy
It's beautiful because love encompasses everything, there’s pain, sorrow, guilt, vanity, and sacrifice, but on the other hand, there is joy, passion, and companionship, that takes dedication, commitment, communication, and choosing to love and be with someone every day, in all of their forms.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rRMEqsI4c
Honesty
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkOQ5NHgDs
None of it matters the finances, the weight, my looks, my intelligence, my job, my mental illness, my routine, etc.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahdSip8Rnb
It’s just all an excuse because I don’t deserve love.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuweB6GQjEl
I have vehemently pushed aside good things, good friends, good relationships, especially good women.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFftSp4bE4A
I don’t want to feel like I deserve it.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiCGMe2VET
I don’t want to make the time to actually improve, I just want to live doing the minimal, avoiding as much pain as possible.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡriOinSSll2
I don’t have control and I never will. I am sad. I feel lonely, but at this point, this must be what I want.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7NCxEiP99
In any relationship, I refuse to get close unless the other person can provide me with comfort and ease.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjL4CiB99Fc
I’m a narcissist, I only feed off of other people like a leech, a parasite, more like a vampire.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD71FfTjo4i
Being sensitive and conforming all the time has become my nature.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oE2iK6nfs
Im not only addicted to Alcohol, Nicotine, and Marijuana.…
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAg6esc75Ya
Im addicted to suffering and draining the people who love me most because I’m not even sure I love them the way they love me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3qG7gVMpi
I just don’t try,
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGgmifg3d1
I don’t want to try. Its easier to be everything, but me. Its less complicated.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbFKVzsKqw
I dont want to be scrutinized because I already know how terrible I am as a human being.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQN3DoDIgp2
I can’t even say I’ve tried hard not be everything I hate. I am extremely intelligent and I limit myself.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrhy1lssQ1
I make unwise choices because when I hate failing.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUCVjKbQ4P
I hate being feeling less. I hate being less, actually I love being less.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3poXWb3fLB
Confusion and complexity is the only thing I strive for which is why I never want to work on myself.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IKrIG6FT0
I could read an unquantifiable number of books, do drugs, sleep with anyone, fall in love with anyone and it’ll never be enough.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQJys6bzpK
I will never be enough for myself and that is why I will never be anything more than what I am today or what I was the day before and I’m not okay with that, but I’m scared. I’m deathly afraid of me, I don’t know if I could even handle knowing the person I have become.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlABdRs73cF
I wish I had the courage to liberate myself instead of always convincing myself to liberate others.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UCln3Toye
Fond Of
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpPHjRNgng
What im fond of..
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD93khpRmvr
I am fond of memories, until im not
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbi7QCCVPK8
I am fond of love, until im not
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOQv9JRzBA
I am fond of fairytales, until im not
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjgsTjuizp
I am fond of family, until im not
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TwgVJcwxl
I am fond of life, until im not
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGovGilliYp
I am fond of giving, until im not
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiVA9anm6X
I am fond of you because this.. I cannot and will not stop
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLP3Z0c1un
Paranoia
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajGIvAbfG4
Every day, being aware of your thoughts, but not just the act of thinking.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoiF80d3jq
Organizing, Rationalizing, and battling the sequence, the line of insecurities, the paranoia, the way I perceive the world around me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDA2nyCcUy
Its the same assumption, more like accusations every 24 hours:
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrvknvPU83
Are they laughing at me?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvd7yG9VDpV
Do they think I’m ugly?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBYC9J9RS3
Do they laugh because I’m ugly?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡal5gbKVKue
They must be looking at me because there is something wrong with me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3g7B7YghN
Is there something wrong with me?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhZ4BG9olS
Why do I care? Why do I let myself care?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kX0wZPxA4
Is she looking at me?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5G5XcgVTwA
I wish she would look at me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUgw0WdsqJ
Why isn’t she interested?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukZqHaULVO
Do I even want her to be interested?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyQKk6IjsR
Its better if she isn’t.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqQfHGIjeH
Im not in the right head space, financial stability, patience, looks, or the fact I’m not interesting enough.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HEp6WNmFQ
Am I enough?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggdqNBgQMA
Will I ever be enough?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlIuvd1MEsB
If I eat this am I going to be fat?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxLvgtoIH4
Am I going to be even more unattractive?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8QZwQhz8d
If I don’t pray, if I don’t show gratitude, if I don’t give mercy to others, how can I expect it from God?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2VMHrIRk4
Does god even want to hear from me?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEtIuYn97S
I don’t want to pray because Im tired and it feels like a waste of my time.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZmPP55iA3
When I do speak to God, does he take the time to listen when I have doubts, practically have zero faith?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrCljfEEDm
Am I just a loser who lives at home with Mom and Rick? Are they helping me or am I just manipulating them?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡow9jfcHhvs
Love Her
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcZobhYZvA
How can I begin to liberate myself from this burden of loops consisting of only what ifs?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiT6OQocv3
Some days I think about you until dawn.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Tyr3cUJkJ
Most days now, I am restless.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sHOPRGbDp
Producing, then digesting mountains of fantasies hoping theirs a side of you that sees what I do.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSq9azB5dP
Still, we repel and with each passing moment, I bleed.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4RzioMKt5W
I lose all sense of consciousness and am yours.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNQ5veaofw
Am I fool or a hopeless romantic?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJSDcfcdAD
Is there a clear distinction between the two?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVW5dNZavau
I find myself treading along a silver lining.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjydWpUYgS
She believes she’s lead by kismet, but how can that be with a leash around its neck?
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjhJEZ3WSo
This path she walks erodes her.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1l3Bk5dXzb
It erodes me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XZtwJI0jA
I feel it on her skin when we touch.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZN8kQvGsP
Spiraling
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWinalWJ1T
I am losing my mind all over again and I’m afraid of what can and will happen next.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqMjP2Tt3p
There is so much that I need, but I think they are just things I want which is a huge difference.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSJuRjyEbT
Its not a bad to want something, but to cling onto it as if it’ll fix everything, or the key to my happiness is where I fall short.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2Nyd1Q93L
I keep on focusing on the outside, external factor that are the issue, but I don’t attempt to fix the broken pieces inside of me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgO1G2TCHMU
I need to be validate in everything I do, or else I’ll never be good enough.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBLZpby0M6
There is a wickedness inside of me that I feed.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOMDlyD1gN
I believe in all the negative and rarely the positive.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLceG5gFwgc
I am getting much better and more mindful about the decisions and life choices im making, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzzVcwEc4W
Because im not. I’m not okay.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeXgl5tHvg
I dont want to with anyone because im scared of being rejected.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWUErCscXi
Im scared of getting close to someone else and not pulling through or giving them too much of me.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxhphKdt6R
I know that if I got to that point and something bad happens like a break up, too many fights, different life plans/future, I’d be utterly devastated.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuH0GzMZUAT
I can barely hold myself together as is.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6DIbVZXyYx
I wake up in the morning when I wish I could be dreaming.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8iRu4uyG9
I go downstairs and make myself an awesome smoothie with strawberries, bananas, cinnamon sugar almond butter oats and some milk.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0udgfXFDf
Its really fucking good.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKOCRrzl8e
I watch tv for about an hour or less, take my medicine and then head to the gym.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ufvScnmJS
I park my car closer to the bank which is further away from Planet Fitness because I like walking the distance.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao3CGu7gbv
I enter the gym, swipe my barcode with my membership and ask for 20 minutes on the Hydromassage.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZvSe35aAD2
After I go stretch for 10 to 15 minutes, lift for another 20 to 30 minutes, then walk for an hour while reading my books.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyR4U8s66zS
I get to read like 30 pages which I really enjoy, but lately its all felt monotonous, I am struggling to do the things that I used to really enjoy.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV7IJGpELp
I stretch for another 10 to 15 minutes or hit the hydromassage for another 10 minutes.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4sWYsw0St
This is when I leave and head back home.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1K8GRjydEP
Going back home I look forward to eating, sometimes showering, making myself eggs , drinking some protein powder (double chocolate).
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3PffcoH6j
I sit to watch something on Netflix, Hulu, Prime or YouTube while promoting my music.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLntOiVx8m
Sometimes Ill make music, sometimes, Ill write a story or create some digital art.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm62P90YWr2
Lately, I’ve been getting into rom coms and feel good movies to distract myself.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDZNvCkP2H
I want to be convinced that something good lies ahead.
66Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZyWE5F3aI
I want to believe that something real and tangible is going to happen.
ns 15.158.61.8da2
