You stared after her, the imprint of her lips still pressed against your cheek. You wondered why you didn’t tell her, why you didn’t wrap your arms around her waist and promise her the world. And then you remembered. You remembered the blood dripping down the woman’s face as she stared lifelessly at you. You remembered the dagger jutting from her body like a single word bolded out among a sea of letters. Alien, foreign and utterly wrong. And you had put it there. You had killed her, left her lifeless on the floor. You had watched your team gasoline the house and set it ablaze, you had watched as your last chance of anything symbolizing “normal” turn to ash.
You watched The Creator - your creator - walk through the smoke to stand before you, a sad smile on his face. He didn’t need to say anything to you, only place a hand on your shoulder as he walked past, lab coat flapping in the wind, top hat under his arm. You were created not to play house, or to take the teenage track. You were created by mankind as a weapon, a being trained from the moment one cell joined to another, to fight for mankind’s survival. That woman had been a threat for a single moment, and that moment had ended any chance you had of pretending. The illusion was gone, wiped away with a single swipe of a cloth. Yet all you could think was the word mistake blazing in your mind.
All you had left was a single peck on the cheek from a girl who knew you as “Jason Ray.” You pressed your fingers to your cheek, wanting your skin to absorb the kiss, to imprint it like a tattoo on the inside of your skin. You shouldered the pack leaning against your legs and sighed, walking around the corner of the street to where your team waited.
You're a machine, a being of flesh with a mind of bolts. You were built for a purpose beyond the one you see, you tell yourself. She couldn’t fit in the war games of her species, she wouldn’t look at you the way she had last night as she laid her head on your shoulder.
You wouldn’t see her again. And it hurt. It hurt you as though tiny needles were being pressed into your skin. It buried into your skin and surrounded your heart like a firing squad. But you wouldn’t let her see it. You wouldn’t let her see you.
The pain didn’t lesson as you climbed into the van, it didn’t settle when you took your seat. It only butted its head against your heart. She had seen you has a person, as someone worth laughing with, someone worth caring about. You were more than a creation to her, you were exciting and unique.
But you pulled off the hoody exposing your army greens in the van, your number printed on the left side, and watched the world you had created fall away like mist. The illusion wiped clean.
“Don’t worry Son,” The Creator said, turning in his seat to look at you, “This was an experiment; you won’t remember this for much longer.”
You nodded slowly.
You hoped she would for both of you.
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