Chapter 1 – Thoroughly Pissed
Corrected the Spelling Errors
"YOUR HIGHNESS IT'S TIME TO GET UP!" The annoyingly shrill voice of my maid screech. "IT'S YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCH-"
"SHUT UP!" I screamed at her as I launched one of my many fluffy pillows towards her face, and it successfully hit her square in her nose.
"B-Bu-But y-your highness," She stammered she tried to shield herself from my raging assault of pillows. "I was instructed by Clarice to prepare you for the day."
Ah, Clarice...I hate that old bitch. Always nagging me about what I should do and what I should not do all throughout the damn day! She was the head maid in the palace and thought that she ran shit in here.
"Well tell Clarice that she needs to mind her own damn business and leave me the fuck alone or else I'll fire her old ass!" I said in a sickly sweet voice.
Technically, I couldn't fire Clarice because she had Royal Privilege over me. Which basically means that only someone with a higher royal rank than me could fire her for example, the king and queen.
"B-But your highness, I can't say that to her," She nervously said. "She's my supervisor and I could lose my job-"
"Say it to her or else you're fired!" I seethed as I crossed my arms across my chest tightly and I accidentally tugged harshly on my sandy elbow length curls.
"OUCH OUCH OUCH FUCK!" I screamed as I instantly unfolded my arms. Dammit, that hurt!
The maid was still standing there twiddling her thumbs, unsure of what to do. "Didn't you hear me? MOVE IT!"1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Ji3u6kC7l
She squeaked as I shouted at her and scurried out of my room. Finally, I can get some more glorious sleep!
I fell back onto my cloud-like pillows and was almost back in dreamland until my nose picked up the sickly scent of Lysol. The Demon Bitch from Hell, oops, I mean Clarice was here.1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3X2qxB1vDz
"PRINCESS ALEXANDRA CLAUDETTE!" She screeched as she yanked the covers off of me. "GET UP OR SO HELP ME YOUNG LADY I WILL-"
"You'll what?" I challenged with a smirk.
"I'll report this to the King and Queen," She said in a low voice as if I would be terrified of those morons.
"Ha!" I laughed. "Go ahead and tell ‘em. What's my mom going to do? Make me take a botox shot to the face? Or maybe my dad will make me smoke ten pounds of weed!"
"You disrespectful, ungrateful, recalcitrant brat!" She seethed as she yanked me by the collar of my silk pajamas. "That's your parents you're talking about like that, have some respect!"
"Sure," I sneered sarcastically. "As soon as they start showing me some."
"YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER!"
"Yeah and you need to get your ass out my room," I scoffed as I tried to crawl back into my fluffy bed, but the bitch pulled me back again.
"Get dressed," She said through gritted teeth. "Honestly, Princess Grace isn't even an eighth of how disrespectful you are!"
"Well, that's because Grace shits rainbows and makes the flowers bloom spontaneously!" I said over dramatically while fluttering my eyelashes.
My sister Grace was the biggest kiss-ass that this world has ever had the misfortune of knowing. Everything about her is perfect. Perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect grades, perfect personality! The whole fucking planet is just captivated by her "perfection" and gives me shit on a daily basis because I'm not as "perfect" as she is! We're complete opposites in everything.
She's got pin-straight, long, blonde hair. I have elbow length unruly sandy curls that look like a lion's mane. She's tall and statuesque. I'm short and curvy; which a lot of people give me crap for because I apparently look "fat". She's has a fucking 4.0 GPA, like who does that shit? I barely make a 2.5, not because I'm not smart, I just don't give a shit about school. And the most contrasting of them all, she's always so fucking happy and smiling all the damn time. There could be a nuclear war outside and she'll still be fucking grinning like a damn happy meal! Me on the other hand...well, let's just say that I have an "attitude problem".
"You need counseling!" Clarice said glaring at me. "You're a young girl, you should not be this bitter!"
"Well you're an old bitch and-"
"GET DRESSED!" She screeched one last time before slamming my door.
Guess she couldn't handle the truth that was about to come.1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSoUTEd1T0
I groaned and swore under my breath as I begrudgingly made my way towards my master bathroom. It was overly huge and luxurious for just one person, but hey, that's a perk of being a princess!
Guess I haven't properly introduced myself. My formal title is "Her Royal Highness, Princess Alexandra Claudette of The Heartlands", but Alex will do just fine.
The Heartlands, which is a monarchy a bit smaller than Australia is smack dab in the middle of the Atlantic and Pacific ocean, is literally a floating country in the middle of nowhere! Governed by King Truth and his Queen, Vanessa, AKA, my bitch ass parents who pretend like they ran this damn country when it's actually the ministers who did all of the work but gave the King and Queen the credit!
I'm also the third eldest out of five children so that means I'm right in the middle of my annoying siblings. The eldest is Arthur who I believe takes life way to seriously. He's only twenty-one but acts like he's forty! But, I guess if you're first in line to the throne, you have to be serious about everything. Next is Gracelyn Anastasia aka, the overly happy bitch! Then it's yours truly, followed by my highly irritating twin brothers, Leo, and Liam. They're identical straight down to their personalities and it annoys the fuck out of me sometimes.
"U-Umm, Y-Your Highness," A timid voice interrupted me from my thoughts. "Your uniform is situated on your bed."
"Thanks," I said honestly. "NOW LEAVE!"
I heard her squeak in fear before scurrying off, leaving the door to slam behind her. Sigh, maybe I should be a bit nicer to the servants.1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQoC9J1LwG
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Fuck no, I love being a bitch!
Giggling maniacally to myself, I got out of my porcelain bath and did my normal routine. Brush teeth, apply deodorant etc. When it came to my hair, I just combed out the knots and left it hanging down my back in unruly curls as usual. I quickly pulled on my uniform which should consist of a white button down shirt, red blazer, knee length pleated black skirt, stockings, and black shoes. But I decided to mix it up a bit. I wore the white button down shirt and a red blazer, but instead my skirt was mid-thigh and not pleated. I wore thigh high red socks and a pair of black Vans. It's not like they can actually tell me to change my uniform, I mean come on, I'm the princess!
"Are you done?" Clarice asked stepping back into the room, but her eyes widened when she took a look at my uniform. "That is not the uniform of The Royal Heartland Academy!"
"Oh would you look at the time," I said looking at my watchless wrist. "If I don't worry, I'll be late for my first day of school, and that would not be proper for a princess!"
My sarcasm was obviously not well appreciated as Clarice looked like she was about to explode!...Eh, not my problem if she does!
Due to this palace being as large as a small fucking country, it literally took me fifteen minutes to walk from my wing down to the main gate where the royal limousine was awaiting my arrival.
"Good Morning Princess," My driver said as he opened the door for me. "Did you sleep well?"
"BLEHHHHH," I screamed as him before slamming the door shut. But to my surprise (and annoyance), Grace, Leo, and Liam were already situated in. Great, absolutely perfect!
"Good Morning Alex!" Grace beamed radiantly at me, I swear a dying plant just bloomed. "How are you?"
"Terrible, now that I've seen you people," I sneered as crossed my arms tightly over my chest. Maybe this time she'll take the hint and leave me alone-
"Now now, I'm sure you must be happy about something, come on tell me," She smiled coming even closer.1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6ow2XUB1o
Ah shit.
"Get away from me you heathen!" I swatted at her. I don't want to catch her happy disease!
"Aw come on Alex don't be like that," She pouted as she wrapped her vine-like arms around me.
"HELP," I screamed as I furiously pushed the panic button.
"GUARDS! ASSULT, ASSULT!"
The door to the limo was immediately ripped open and five guards stood their heavily armed while scanning every inch for signs of an intruder, but they sighed deeply when none was in their perspective.
"Princess," One addressed me. "There is no danger here-"
"GET THIS HEATHEN AWAY FROM ME!" I screeched in his face while trying to pry Grace's tentacles off of me.
"B-Bu-"
"Or even better, get me my own damn limo," I demanded. "NOW!"
I was beyond irritated right now and the guards realized that. They scrambled about like chickens without heads when I shouted at them.
"It's been thirty seconds and I'm still sitting in the same spot," I said while nonchalantly picking my perfectly manicured nails. "If I'm not a new limo in the next fifteen seconds, someone is going to lose a job!"
"Hey chill Alex they're doing the best they can," Leo said as Liam nodded in agreement with him.
"Shut up brat, I can do whatever the hell I want!" I seethed at him.1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgYifcaPf0
"Y-Your new limousine is ready Your H-Highness," My new driver stuttered as he offered a hand to help me out.
"Hmph, of course, it is," I ignored his hand and instead threw my bag at him to carry.
"See you at school Alex!" Grace smiled cheerily at me as she waved.1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiLmIncyno
"Fucking bitch!" I scowled at her as their door was shut.
I was led to my new limousine which was slightly smaller than the first, but I didn't give a damn about the size, as long as I'm away from those three!
"It will take approximately fifteen minutes for you to arrive at the campus Princess," My driver said through the opening that allowed him to see in the back of the limo.
Instead of replying or even acknowledging him; I gave him a stone cold glare and slowly rolled up the glass to separate us so that I could no longer see or hear him.
Now that's better, alone in this very spacious limousine with no one around to irritate me. I stuffed my earphones in my ears at sat back to watch the scenery blur past me as I listened to the soothing voice of Eliza Hull. Sigh, I love being a princess!1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSOEWK3yLQ
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I loudly sighed as The Royal Heartland Academy, or RHA, came into my vision. Another year of this bullshit. As of today, I'm a junior so that means that I still have another year after this shitty one! But on a plus side, this is Grace's senior year so this is the last time that I'll have to see her at school! But on the downside, this is the twin's sophomore year so I still have to see them at school next year! Damn it all to hell!
"We've arrived Princess," My driver said as he opened the door.1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9ZyaClM6w
Screams and cries were instantly heard from the commoners. They do this shit every year and it's so annoying! They stand outside the school and fucking scream for hours just because it's our first day back at school; albeit, seventy percent of those screams were for Grace because everyone just fucking loved her!
I slowly crawled out and glared at every unfortunate soul that my electric blue eyes locked with. Needless to say, they all looked away when I started glaring and scowling.
"HELLO EVERYONE, ARE YOU READY FOR THE NEW YEAR!" Grace shouted to the crowd, which made them flip the fuck out and scream twice as loud. I don't have time for this shit!1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEY91LYFjXS
"I'm taking my leave now Princess," My driver said to me before driving away with the other limo.
"Useless fucker," I grumbled under my breath as three guards cleared the path for me to walk into RHA's main building. But of course, there are people in the world who's main goal in life is to piss me off!
"Princess Alexandra can I get a quick interview?" A news reporter asked me with hopeful eyes. She seemed so confident that I would agree that she even turned on her recorder and brought it way to close to my lips.
"PISS OFF BITCH, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? BRINGING THAT SHIT NEAR MY FUCKING MOUTH, I DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT'S BEEN!" I screamed.
To say she was shocked would be the understatement of the year. Her jaw was practical to the floor and her eyes were bulging out her sockets. Some of the fuckers near me had stopped screaming and looked at the reporter in pity, most likely I had flipped out on a few of them before and they know not to just spring up on me.
"I-I'm so sorry I didn't," She stuttered as tears actually spilled from her eyes. Is she fucking serious?
"What the hell are you crying for?" I yanked her hand away from her eyes. "You're a grown ass woman and you're gonna sob just because some bitch told you off? You don't deserve to have a damn interview with me, try Princess Peachy or Prince Dumb or Dumber over there," I pointed to Grace, Leo and Liam who were now signing autographs for the crowd.
"B-But you were so mean," She sobbed.
"Get the fuck out my way," I pushed her aside and angrily stalked into the main building. It's not even noon and yet I've been thoroughly fucking pissed!
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Alex is a bitch isn't she?1194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRujhhyTPT4
Yep, she's not going to be the cliched "Disney type princess".
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