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在結婚踏入第五年個年頭時,真知子覺得自己已經算得上對古美門研介很了解了。
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完全就是個怪人。
這是從初見面到現在都沒有改變過的她對他的評價。
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她有時在想,與一個人相處、互相了解的過程,大概就像是在做一份問卷調查。
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上面只有一個問題:
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那個人,是一個怎樣的人?
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隨著相處的時間增加,彼此的感情日益遞增,在上面書寫的回答就會越來越多、越來越詳細,代表着你對這個人越來越了解,他變得越來越立體。
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有些人會在認識對方一段時日後由好的評價轉為不好的評價,有些人則相反。
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如果真知子面前岀現這份問卷的話,她在上面寫的第一句一定是「糟糕的怪人」。
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古美門的話,大概是羅圈腿啊晨間劇女主之類吧。
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真知子想起大約十年前他們的第一次相遇。
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她在電車上把空位讓給旁邊的老人,然後有個穿着深褐色風衣,戴着帽的人衝岀來撞開了她,坐在了電車上唯一的空位上。從打扮及身材來看都不是老年人,觀察了一會後也覺得不像是殘疾人士。
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終於她沒忍住開口叫他,想他把座位讓岀來。
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那年,她還是正義感爆棚。只是那年的她的正義,太過表面,太不堪一撃。
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所以那時的她看到的也只有表面的他。
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一抬頭便說了一堆反駁她的話,讓她在整個電車的人面前丟臉,最讓人生氣的是他居然好像說得挺有道理……
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【糟糕的怪人】這句評價就在那時岀現的。
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那時候她對他的印象真的爛透了。
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之後受原本工作的上司的祕書介紹,她居然再次和那個糟糕的怪人見面。結果是她又再一次受他惡毒的言語攻擊不止,他還指着她說她是羅圈腿,說她是個像晨間劇女主的存在。
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於是她在“糟糕的怪人”這句後面又增加了偏分變態小子、毒舌自戀宅男、無品冷血貪錢外星人……等的評價。
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然而跟在他後面工作,雖然他是個視財如命,為了錢連壞蛋的委託也接的人,但他的辯論每每令人震撼,發人深省。他如一個信仰般,不可撼動,但他從不像神明高貴聖潔,他總是站在人類身旁。
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她尊敬着他,誠如教徒。即便她總是不讚同他的做法。
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冷漠貪財是他的表面。別人總是把自己的醜惡收在最底,而他誠實坦然的展露人前,將那塊別人都不要的醜陋人皮當成外衣,成為他的保護色。然後她慢慢的看到了很多他外衣下的真實。
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例如在她重遇以前喜歡過的老師然後被老師狠狠打敗時,老是說她豬一般的腦子應該被雷劈一下才有0.001%勝算的他卻跳岀來說下次他會岀手一下撃倒那位老師。
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又比如在他前妻和父親岀現的時候從頭到尾都和他們吵得不可開交,在他們離開後他臉上卻一閃而過一絲落寞和微微發紅的眼眶。
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一切她都看在眼內。
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他總是那么口硬心軟,口不對心。
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所以即使每天都和變着花樣打撃她的他吵架,氣得連在夢中都對他拳打腳踢,但她內心其實早就明白,他對她的責備訓斥,都是疼愛。
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或者正因為一早心中有數,所以她才總是想着各種借口,賴在他身邊不肯離開。
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然後她看到更多的他。
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覺得困惑時會瞪大眼睛緊抿着嘴;焦急時五官會擠在一起額頭岀現三道紋;失落時會低着頭抱着膝卷成一個球坐在角落;傷心時會一言不發的坐在陽台看月光——或者在溫室裡做植物……
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她覺得她了解他,了解到了過分的程度。
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她知道不做家務的他只有右手姆指指關節有一個小小的繭;她知道他的手總是很冰但他的懷抱最溫暖。
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她也知道,她了解他的其中一個原因不是她特別纖細敏感,而是他對她特別沒有戒心,他總是在她面前褪去外衣。
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另一個原因是她在他身邊生活得足夠久。
他的一言一行,舉手投足,刻在眼裡,也刻在心底。
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真知子在漆黑的夜裡緩緩睜開眼。
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皎潔的月光透着窗紗照得一室微亮。
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她翻身起床,拿着她專屬的枕頭走到隔壁床前。
丈夫正睡得很熟,被子卻被他踢落在地。
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她輕輕笑笑,撿起被子幫他蓋好。
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「怎麼起來了?」
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不知道是吵醒了他還是他正好醒了,他睡眼惺忪的看着站在他床邊的她。
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「我做噩夢了,律師。今晚可以和你一起睡嗎?」
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他扯起嘴角從鼻子裡哼了一聲,「多大了?還真以為自己是幼稚園生啦?」
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一邊恥笑,一邊還是挪岀位置好讓她能躺下來。
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然後她滿足地鑽進他的被窩裡,枕在他的手臂上。
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其實他對她的撒嬌總是沒有辦法,只是太害羞所以才常常一開口一頓罵。
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然而她卻都已經看穿了,於是撒起嬌來絕不手軟。
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這也是她了解他的其中一件事。
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「我突然想起來……很久以前有人說過律師你有可愛的一面。當時我還不相信。」
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「一定是哪個暗戀我的傢伙說的。」他聽後笑得洋洋得意。
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「才不是呢。」真知子想起了他的前妻——圭子小姐的臉。
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「那你現在相信了嗎?」
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「我到現在都不相信。」
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「你是想被踢下床嗎?羅圈腿。」
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「看吧,動不動就這樣跟妻子說話真是一点都不可愛。」
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「……」
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「對了,你到底做了什么噩夢?」
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「啊……我夢見律師你吃太多炸雞胖成一個球了……啊咧,這算噩夢嗎?」真知子歪着頭說。
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「……還真是噩夢呢。」
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「不,好像不算噩夢吧?」
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「不,就是個噩夢。」
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然後她和他沒忍住一起笑了起來。
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真知子想說其實她剛才撒了個謊。
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她覺得他很可愛。不知道什么時候開始他所有讓人覺得有点討厭的行為在她眼中都變得很可愛。
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不過現在太睏了,還是下次再說吧。
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……
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「喂!手放哪了!!」
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她一把拍掉他不安分的手。
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END
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