I clenched my teeth and balled my hands into fists in my jacket pockets. Annoyed of the day and what went through in school. At that moment the cold didn't bother me; after all I have always been one who barely froze and walks often around in t-shirt. Some in my class have to annoy me for some silly reason that is not even a reason to do that; mobbing or bullying is never a reason to do. No matter what it never does any good; not even to yourself. I gave a sigh trying to let that tensed emotion go. A cloud of vapor rolled out of my mouth. I looked up to see where I am heading although I could walk home blindfolded. I am at the bridge that has stood here for a few centuries; built in its time out of metal. What the-!837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zt8FzSu7Q
Am I dreaming or is there really a person standing on the railing facing the water? It is a boy with short, spikey, black hair and dressed all in dark gothic style. He even wore make-up around the eyes. Yet those beautiful shaped eyes appeared sad. Does he mean it serious? The winter wind made his short, black leather jacket flutter about like a flag while his arms rested beside his hips relaxed. Although I am not a gothic fan but I have to say he looks cool with those clothes.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWx7t8NrPuP
Suddenly those eyes looked to me. I froze and stared at him; quickly swallowed and then spoke. "Sorry to bother you but what are you doing on the railing?" I asked cautiously, hoping not to annoy him or worse make him jump.
He looked down to the river below with a deep sigh. "What do you think?"837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsU5ZrSTD6U
My jaw dropped as he moved slowly a foot out.
"Stop! Please come down! We can talk!" I suggested uneasy and fast. Pulling myself together not to touch him or come too close incase he would grab me at the last minuet and pull me along.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVJodam0HW
He did not move as if he was frozen into ice; like a statue.
"Would you like to have tea or hot chocolate with me? My house is only 10 minuets away from here. To be honest I too had a terrible day. Please come down." I suggested nervously, hoping he would climb down and not jump.
Suddenly the foot in the air moved back onto the railing and his eyes looked into mine. For a moment my cheeks grew warm. "You have no idea how terrible mine is and not just one day but my entire life. I want it to end." He spoke cooly.837Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnDUq03931
I stepped a bit closer. "Then to end it is not through death but you yourself can change it; you have the power to change it like moving away into a different country and start anew or change your style into another direction that you admired. I heard hippie can be kinda cool." Damn! What am I saying? This is definitely the worst day. I made a boy jump because of me suggesting hippie. I can imagine making the front page in the local papers. A boy jumped because a girl talked about hippie style.
Suddenly he jumped off the railing and stood before me with curious glistening eyes. They were deep blue like sapphire, special eyes for a special boy. "You mentioned I have the power to change, how?" He wondered skeptical.
I sighed of relief and gave a friendly grin to him. "Come with me and have some tea or hot chocolate." I invited with a grin.
He accepted my invitation with a nod and walked beside me. First now I realised how tall and good looking he was. "Well before I can explain how to change, you need to tell me what is the situation you have difficulties to deal with and a bit about yourself." I answered honestly. Ops! That can sound threatening for him. He will surely turn round and take the dive. I bit my tongue in shame.
He gave a sigh. "Very well but after tea or hot chocolate." And faced to the ground, putting his hands into his jacket pockets.
Good idea and some biscuits that I baked yesterday! With a full tummy and some hot chocolate gives you more courage and better humor. I will give him a large cup so that it will be easier to tell. "I'm Helen." I introduced and offered my hand to shake.
"Allan." He responded short and shook hands with mine. His fingers were cold as ice. Is he freezing?
"Your hands are cold as ice. Are you freezing?"
"Only my hands but nothing more."
Soon we were at my door, knowing my parents are working late today so we will have plenty of time for ourselves. I quickly explained to him where the bathroom was if he needs to go and led him into the kitchen. "What would you like to have? Tea or hot chocolate? I even have lactos-free milk because my dad is lactose intolerant.
Allan grinned briefly while his hands remained in his pockets. "Whatever you will have."
"Hot chocolate then. Are you lactose intolerant?"
He shook slowly his head.
I heated the 'normal' milk. We both waited in silence for a moment in the kitchen.
His glance wandered around and then to me. "Is there something I can help?" He asked friendly.
"Afterwards enjoying with me some hot chocolate and some biscuits that I baked yesterday." I responded highly motivated with a smile.
He gave a short giggle.
Soon we sat at the table in the living-room, sipping silently our warm, large mugs of chocolate and enjoying few biscuits. The living room table stood at one corner with big French windows, providing a beautiful view of the old city Berne (Switzerland) and the alpine mountains beyond. Everything had a white coat of snow while the sun shone bright on the never ending crystal blue sky. I looked across the table to Allan. His eyes were fixed at the view and a small grin was composed upon his pale thin lips. His head rested upon one hand.
Soon he turned to me with the same grin and sighed. "Thanks."
I smiled and gave a nod. It worked! It turns out my day today is not so bad as I thought.
"I didn't have the courage before to tell you of my problems but now I feel up to it. You seem like a trustworthy person." He paused.
He is changing already by opening himself to someone and I am eager to listen what he has to say.
“My mother never wanted me and left me when I was two years old. My father said it was ‘an accident’ that I exist. He is unemployed and drinks a lot of beer in front of the television since my mother left. I have been attending to school but after school I barely had time to do homework; I went to work in a factory to get some small salary for food and accommodation. Lately through time I have grown tired to this fighting for survival and to be noticed. My father always took most of the money for his drinking. It’s like I’m trying to build something and my father grabs a huge piece somewhere and everything falls into pieces.” He paused. “And it has been on going since I attended school until now. Now I am 21 years old so to be precise 14 years of fighting to build something with my own hands and my father destroys it again and again. All this time I stayed with him because I had false hopes that he would change some day; stop drinking, starting to go to work like any other father, accept me and help me with school and later on my first job like to every son. He never touched me and always ignored me except when he asked me a question.”
Gee and I thought I had a terrible day! I was speechless to his history. What a heartless father but has been honest nonetheless.
“Enough about me, what about you? You told me that you had a terrible day today.” He remarked and looked at me with the highest attention to listen.
I said nothing and quickly walked over to him and hugged him.
His body froze stiff with tension. “What the-!” Gave Allan and stopped. Soon after a long moment of silence his shoulders began to tremble, a quiet sob was heard and on one of my shoulders grew lightly moist with tears. Slowly we began to rock gently to and fro. I held the embrace tight but not too tight.
Suddenly a strong arm pushed me away and Allan stood few meters away from me, his back facing me. His body stood still like before but his hands trembled. “What- what are you doing?” He asked coldly and turned to look at me; his eyes shown mixed emotions of anger, sorrow and confusion.
“I mean no harm but trying to comfort you. I gave you a hug. Something what people do between one another when someone is sad or happy.” I explained calmly and almost ashamed that I did that. I faced to the ground. I expected that he would leave without another word. I heard his footsteps. Suddenly I felt something warm and soft around me. I noticed on the floor his big feet in plain black socks close to mine that were white with few pale thin colourful stripes. Slowly I looked up.
He looked at me with a small grin. “Thank you.” He whispered.
I was speechless in his warm embrace but it felt good. No warm meal or drink could warm me up like this and that is what makes an embrace so unique.
“Thank you for listening and you were right. I had it all along the power to change but somehow it frightens me to use it because of my father. Would you help me?” He whispered into my ear.
His voice was beautiful that if I were blind I would be always happy to hear his voice and no words can describe it how beautiful I heard it to my ear. So beautiful I got goose bumps. “Yes but where do you want to begin?” I asked after a long moment of silence.
His deep blue eyes looked deeply into mine. “I was thinking with you.” His grin grew broader.
What! Me? I blinked.
He gave a short laugh but quickly stopped and apologised. “Sorry. Your expression was priceless.”
“But-“ I was still speechless to his words and overwhelmed by my emotions.
“I know it’s a fast decision. I fully understand if you need a few days.”
“But, I’m different than all the others.”
“Well so am I.” He almost chuckled.
He's got a point with his gothic style. Well why not? He is nice, kind and good looking. “Ok but I need a time.” I gave truthfully, barely believing that I am doing this. For the first time something like this. It is almost like a proposal to marriage, only not. It's complicated and I'm still kind if speechless.
He nodded with a broad lovely smile that I could melt like water to the floor. He embraced me again a bit tighter but not that I am out of breath and I embraced him. For a long moment we held on in silence while outside slowly grew darker and it started to snow.
Suddenly the main door opened and I heard the familiar sighs of my parents. Quickly Allan and I opened our embraces and headed to the main door.
“Hi Helen. How was your- Oh! Who is this?” Gave Mom as she saw Allan beside me.
“Erm… This is Allan, Allan this is my mother, Heather and my father, Kevin.” I introduced nervously.
My dad walked up to him and gave a firm hearty handshake like he always does. Allan shook with a composed grin. I wonder what he was thinking when he saw my dad due to his story he told me before.
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