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#玄涵月381Please respect copyright.PENANARMYOsUAHl4
381Please respect copyright.PENANArFHvaWbYMr
自從在街頭遇見那位不明人士後,小月對我的控制欲是節節攀升,甚至可以用監視二字來形容他的行為,這種緊迫盯人的方式,讓我很不自在。381Please respect copyright.PENANATycikL8vHh
381Please respect copyright.PENANAK6C1XuhUqh
他除了上下學接送,連去巷口買雞蛋都要跟著我,只要踏出家門,他能立刻知道,關於這點真的讓我毛骨悚然,雖然我們是鄰居又是青梅竹馬,但這種彷彿連體嬰的相處模式,實在令人喘不過氣來。381Please respect copyright.PENANANMXNh4RxQh
381Please respect copyright.PENANAcpA32ofKQm
我呼了一口氣,把日文課本蓋在自己的臉上,風吹的窗嘎嘎作響。381Please respect copyright.PENANAkiYFxZqKMv
381Please respect copyright.PENANAgvjKbdqX4n
「9號,上來做這題。」老師喊著,聲音傳進我的耳裡卻沒傳到心哩,直到後座的同學,用筆戳了戳我的背,輕聲說。381Please respect copyright.PENANAR5QanphA0e
381Please respect copyright.PENANAE5v29Ng20G
「羽涵,老師叫妳!」381Please respect copyright.PENANAaAF6MR03qW
381Please respect copyright.PENANAN3iK88HKea
這句話拉回我的神智,我連忙站起身子應聲答道。「好!」381Please respect copyright.PENANAZfB9uAxBTv
381Please respect copyright.PENANAkFXJeRg2X2
慌亂間我看著黑板上的題目,所幸上頭的題目並不困難,我挑了一支較長的粉筆寫下答案。381Please respect copyright.PENANAFvxWrz2KZR
381Please respect copyright.PENANAuqsUAt3rpd
「很好,下去吧!」381Please respect copyright.PENANAfcGyKLdSgn
381Please respect copyright.PENANA3sTXHGeW65
當我漫步座位間的通道時,忽然有種格格不入的感覺,像有隻手把我抓到入了異界,霎時穿越精神隧道般,眼前坐著的同學全換成國中制服,僅僅數秒便讓我寒毛直豎,這種幻視讓我有種活在夢中的感覺,現實與虛假的界線非常模糊,總覺得自己不是自己,只是一個旁觀者,總之那是一種非常很詭異的心情,我難以用言語表達。381Please respect copyright.PENANArDv2tL1UaL
381Please respect copyright.PENANAO8Sx0JrHtH
坐回自己的位置,我拿起原子筆在紙上塗寫,文字向來都能幫助我理解自己。381Please respect copyright.PENANArS2k8y7hKw
381Please respect copyright.PENANASmLmv5fjsQ
仔細想想,其實我僅對於國中階段的生活有問題,如果完整的人生是一部投影劇,那就如同有人從中把我國中階段的畫面取出刪除。381Please respect copyright.PENANAc649UEIw7q
381Please respect copyright.PENANAyTc031jOX7
不,更像是一張完整的畫面,被人撕碎刻意藏起一些見不得人的部分,那些部分造成記憶破碎,靈魂的不安,我真的不懂為什麼自己會變成這樣,更不清楚自己又為何有這樣的想法,只知道自己好像哪裡怪怪的,但好險這個腦袋瓜對於課文或是基本常識倒是清楚記得,讓我在求學過程沒有遇到瓶頸。381Please respect copyright.PENANAPTUnosaDu8
381Please respect copyright.PENANAHY8j4muORq
我翻著多孔的活頁雜記本,前幾頁有我編寫的編號與日期,但從第二十頁開始就出現跳號的情況,雜亂編排方式有如我混亂的心,就算註明順序也難以猜測被捨棄的章節有怎樣的故事。381Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZXjiHNGOI
381Please respect copyright.PENANAabE6uuoICG
藍色的筆在空白處隨意塗寫最後寫下住院二字,事實上住院期間與出院後的記憶也是零碎的,時常有種感覺似乎只要是是跟國中有關的事物,記憶就會被藏匿起來。 381Please respect copyright.PENANA1NyNNmHX2s
381Please respect copyright.PENANAAqE5R49dwK
但對於月霖這個人卻不曾忘記⋯⋯ 381Please respect copyright.PENANAAOf6YgsGQb
381Please respect copyright.PENANACSZfxJAkVv
不,應該說我只記得國中時期以外的小月,國中的他也是模糊的。 381Please respect copyright.PENANAW5O9MyUvi6
381Please respect copyright.PENANAT8n7JEL2eI
月霖的名字被我用紅筆畫了個大叉,腦中思緒喧囂著,如同吵雜的教室,一句一句都聽不清構不成真正的畫面,讓我這段日子過得很不踏實,一切像是被虛構出來似的,為了再度擁有真實感我決定努力找回那些被藏起來的記憶,我的靈魂碎片。381Please respect copyright.PENANAUD8BJL0CSj
381Please respect copyright.PENANAReYpCVrPxj
再⋯⋯ 為什麼會用再這個字?381Please respect copyright.PENANAOemTpKm9Ij
381Please respect copyright.PENANAfiP961tWNt
我圈起塗寫在筆記本上的字,思索著。381Please respect copyright.PENANAhFxCloo0LZ
381Please respect copyright.PENANAH5Fj4A1Gke
唔——381Please respect copyright.PENANA4R7Vw46Ojt
381Please respect copyright.PENANAyU7wdz9CTV
不行,腦袋一片混亂,就像活頁紙上的線條一樣雜亂無章,腦內的雜音擾人使我無法理出頭緒。381Please respect copyright.PENANARKWGGUS2ye
381Please respect copyright.PENANAwpibQKFDLf
算了,別糾結『再』了,先想想別的 ⋯⋯ 381Please respect copyright.PENANAWOCCYFsWzt
381Please respect copyright.PENANApkb4JcsNFk
好!先哪裡開始下手?381Please respect copyright.PENANAY9vqefghXt
381Please respect copyright.PENANAzqz27uG8eJ
原子筆在指尖上轉動著,點出幾個藍色的點點後,寫下月霖總是阻止我靠近的地方。381Please respect copyright.PENANARdWn3dzSSw
381Please respect copyright.PENANAlD20GRFyJs
1、學校後山。381Please respect copyright.PENANAukJa6uIdWT
2、學校附近的雜貨店。381Please respect copyright.PENANAvRdM51oNYO
3、國中部。381Please respect copyright.PENANAJWJvZQ2jnT
4、國中部後門。381Please respect copyright.PENANAg4yfW0Ms8z
381Please respect copyright.PENANAF3xnqepIBx
很好,總算有明確的目標了,但要從哪個開始呢?381Please respect copyright.PENANAk3LFJQ7g4H
381Please respect copyright.PENANA3RWc7bHrbr
有嚴重選擇障礙的我,不方便在上課的時候拿出自製籤筒,只好摸進筆袋,暗自想著。381Please respect copyright.PENANAoQarjp7oEe
381Please respect copyright.PENANASvyx79Hph4
黑筆就後山,藍筆就販賣部,紅筆就國中部,螢光筆就學校後門,以指尖伸進去最早碰到的為主。 ns 15.158.61.55da2