Title: One Morning You Wake Up The Wrong Gender
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: First Person, Gender-Identity, Sexuality, Teenage Angst, Not-Quite-Reality, Crack, Language,
Pairings: N/A
Summary: One morning you wake up to find that you’re the opposite gender to the one you were the day before. How do you react?
Disclaimer: I own myself, my identity and the vague setting. I also own some of the random shit that’s mentioned as my belongings.
Notes: So this is an old prompt that I was given by a friend to write a story about. Originally I got maybe 2000 words in and then decided that it was completely crap so I ditched the entire concept and left it to rot somewhere on my previous laptop’s hard drive. Came across the old prompt along with a whole load of others and decided "Oh what the hell? Why not?" so here I am responding to a whole bunch of prompts like this...
And oh yeah, a fair few of them kind of bring issues onto the table.
That morning I awoke as I did every morning, well okay it wasn’t actually morning; more like one in the afternoon but that’s not the point. The fact is I awoke the same way that I always did, the doona covers still soft and warm over my body as they always are, my PJs still firmly in place, baseball cap still on my head and covering my right ear and Teddy held close to my body. Absolutely nothing out of place.
So I yawned and stumbled out of my bed quickly making my way to the bathroom to initiate my morning ritual. And that’s when I noticed it, at first I barely really registered it because I went to the toilet the way I usually did, sitting down. But it was there and it was different, an extra thing that dangled between my legs. That was also about the moment that I finally realized that my chest felt kind of lighter and two mounds were missing.
"What the fuck?" I muttered peering into the mirror to see if I could spot anymore differences. There weren’t really any, my hair might have been slightly shorter, but I couldn’t tell. My eyes a touch darker, scars more prominent, a new cut just beneath my left eye(nothing new really, this was just the first time I’d actually noticed it). "Okay... So I’m male now?" I looked down at my hands.
Then I scanned over my body, and realized that my PJs were actually hanging off me a bit. I was shorter, SHORTER than previous, slimmer to. So most of my clothing would be hanging off me a bit, or in the case of my pants and underwear slipping down a bit. Heading back into my room I stripped myself of my PJs scanned them, decided that they needed a washing and chucked them in the laundry pile.
That done I grabbed my usual outfit and pulled it on, actually pleasantly surprised when it still fit fairly well, bar a few spots where it was a bit long mainly my jumpers sleeves. Checking my shoes I was glad that they still fit, obviously I didn’t need to bug Mum about getting a new pair when we’d only just gotten these ones a few days ago.
Settled I stretched and decided to actually think about things. So I was now a male, and really I didn’t feel anything about that. Literally it was just something that had happened, my balance was a bit off, my clothing a bit big, I was shorter and my parts had changed but I felt absolutely the same otherwise. It didn’t feel wrong, in fact really it didn’t feel like anything at all.
My body was still mine. Hell this actually reminded me of a conversation that I’d had with a friend over facebook when we were discussing gender-identity, sexuality and similar topics. I’d kind of freaked because I’d noticed that I’d never really had any erotic dreams or sexual fantasies at all... In fact the closest I’d gotten was a vague crush thing that was less of a crush and more of a "Hmm, they seem nice, I want to get to know them better". But anyway so that discussion was coming back to my mind. Mainly the part where I had mentioned that I didn’t really differentiate all that much between male and female in my mind. It was just someone is usually one or the other and that’s only because of the parts that they’re born with. And how I had mentioned that I didn’t really think of myself as a girl or boy, but rather as a Tamara.
So now, while physically I was male, I was still Tamara. Still myself first and foremost. So even with the slightly altered physiology I shrugged and wandered around the house doing my usual Winter jobs. Keep the fire going, bring in some wood if needed, write a bit whether or not I actually have the inspiration, check the dogs and holler for them to shut up, jump at noises in the shed, and then settle down on my laptop to browse random stuff.
Which interestingly enough turned up some interesting stuff all over tumblr and other sites. There was a stampede of people posting notes and horrified proclamations of being the wrong gender. And then a handful of responses that were kind of like my own reaction.
Yeah So?
Because really, why does it matter. It’s still your body isn’t it? I frowned before looking down at myself once more. Really I didn’t feel any different at all. So why were other people reacting with such horror, or in a handful of cases relief and even glee. But I just don’t get it, because it’s really not that big a deal is it?
I mean the only difference that I can think of when it comes to gender is some parts, the fact that girls can get pregnant and thus have babies and the way others refer to you. I mean hell, I was just kind of someone who’s like, call me a girl, call me a boy I could really care less. Really, I don’t actually mind that much if someone got my gender wrong and referred to me as a boy. Sure I might correct them, but for the most part I just let things continue on as they would. And right now... Well I was physically a boy.
So yeah, I just don’t understand the issue at all. Why does it matter whether someone is physically a male or female? I frowned looking over myself again, really nothing struck me as particularly odd or off about suddenly being not a female. My shoulders might have been a bit broader, I might have been shorter, my hair a bit messier, but I was still me. Scars in the same places, a few new cuts and bruises that I’d inflicted on myself in my sleep, and well, I was me.
I just couldn’t understand what the deal was. Since I didn’t feel any different apart from a slightly off sense of balance, and that would be easily remedied by walking around for a bit. So I wiggled in place before standing up and finding a full body mirror to stare into. What I saw was still myself.
Yeah So?
I am me. I am Tamara, I was born physically female, while in eighth grade I went a month with the mindset that I was gender-fluid. And then in what should have been my tenth grade, I finally decided that gender didn’t matter and self-identified as Agender, maybe possibly that means I’m actually non-binary but I think of myself as Agender, and that’s what matters isn’t it?
Yeah So?
But something is still just slightly off. It’s not me, it’s not my body because as far as I can care about that is now I am physically a male, and it changes nothing. It’s not my clothing because it’s still mostly comfortable. It’s not the house, because I know that my brother will be...
My brother!? My eyes widened and I actually froze. There were other people on the internet reacting to this, as if they had also swapped gender. Did that mean? Was my younger brother now a younger sister?
Something in me screamed at that thought, because it was inconceivable. He definitely saw himself as a male... Well apart from that one time when he was determined to be the witch in a school play... But that was only one time. So it didn’t count.
I still twitched a bit, because the idea of suddenly having a younger sister where I’d always had a bratty brother just felt wrong. And then the other realization hit... Oh Kami... My mother was now going to be my father! There was so much wrong with that one thought that I didn’t even know where to begin.
Sure I didn’t really think that there were many differences when it came to gender. But things like this still caused me to actually think about what was going on and caught my attention. Basically I was beginning to freak myself out... And yet.
Yeah So?
It didn’t really matter. Because, they were still my family. Still my younger brother and my mother. Even if physically they were now to opposite, if they still thought of themselves as the same, that’s who they would be.
Those thoughts calmed my mind and I hummed leaving the mirror to wander back down the hall and out into the yard. With a smile I took a deep breath. The wind blew through my hair and I smiled. I could adjust to this.
"Obi!" I called, ignoring the fact that my voice was now slightly lower and rougher; as if I had a cold. The canine came around from the side of the house and I smiled. Yeah, I could adjust to this.
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