(narrator) Dracula: We all know how vampires are. They die in the sunlight and by any pointy object driven through the heart. Not all of these apply to other vampires. Why can't the younger versions go along the same storyline?
Spike: (Walks in, both former soulmates tagging along at both of his sides) Because we're bloody hell immortal, buddy. Being shot by bloody hell silver bullets shouldn't kill us.
Harmony: Spikie, calm down.
Dru: Yes.
(Darla and Angel walk in, followed by the crew, excluding the former Queen C and her ex)
Darla: I think we're perfect just the way we are.
Dracula: Perfect? Ha! That's a good one.
Angel: We're not all perfect, Darla. All vampires have killed people. I get tortured by the memory of all the people I've killed.
Darla: If only you were the soulless monster you used to be.
Buffy: Stop torturing him or I will kill you again.
Darla: Angel killed me the first time around. Not you, Slayer.
Faith: We'll still kill you.
Kendra: Yes. We kill you.
Doyle: Can we all calm down a no'ch?
Willow: Can we chill out?
Tara: P-please, guys?
Giles: I,uh,think we're getting, uh, out of control here.
Anya: Where's my honey at?
Spike: Probably bloody hell screwing the Queen.
Anya: He better not be.
Dracula: Okay. All of you younger versions of me, get lost. Witches, go home. Slayers, I don't know what's going on with you, but get out of here and go patrol. Watcher, go to the library and read.
(They leave as Dracula says, "Screw y'all!")
(Anya, Doyle, and Connor are the only ones left)
(Joyce, Cordy, and Xander walk in)
Joyce: What are we doing today?
Anya: Making fun of vampires.
Joyce: In that case, I'm out of here.
(Joyce leaves)
Anya: I knew it! You and Cordelia were screwing each other!
Xander: Calm down.
Cordelia: You know she's right.
Xander: I know.
Dracula: Drama much. Simmer down, Anyanka. If you want, I'll screw you.
Anya: Really? When?
Dracula: After the show.
Anya: How about now?
Dracula: Great.
(Anya and Dracula walk out.)
(Cordy and Xander are left.)
Xander: I love you so much, Cor. You know that, right?
Cordelia: Of course, Xan.
Xander: Well, Dracula is right folks. Screw the vampires. They suck.
Cordelia: Shut up and kiss me already.
(Cordy and Xander start kissing)
(Camera turns off)
ns 15.158.61.48da2
