Renee, the love of my life, was dying. The doctors had no explanation; her body was just shutting down. They’d tried everything they could think of, but nothing was working. It couldn’t end this way! After years of self-loathing and loneliness, I had finally found someone I connected with. Someone that understood me, stood by my side and loved me despite my failings. My soul mate. She lies now in a cold and sterile hospital bed miles from the one she and I shared. I can’t even remember the last time we were in our bed together. What was felt or said. Was it wrong that I couldn’t remember? The pain! It feels like my head is being used as a pin cushion. I need to sit down or I’m going to pass out.
I pulled up a chair and settled myself in beside her bed. She looked so peaceful now, her face framed by short red hair. I have a soft spots for redheads, you know. She looked like she was only sleeping, but I knew better.
We’d only been married for two years when she had unexpectedly collapsed during one of her boss’ cocktail parties. You know, the type of party where everyone claims bragging rights on the size and number fo toys they own. I wasn’t too keen on it, but Renee insisted I come. She was on the Board of Directors and it wouldn’t be courteous unless she made an appearance and she steadfastly refused to go alone. It was while she was chatting with her boss that she just collapsed onto the floor. That had been over a month ago. She’d been in and out of consciousness since then, sometimes becoming lucid for hours at a time before passing out again. I had high hopes when I first brought her here, but now that hope was dwindling. She woke less and less often and had also started losing parts of her memory. For the last three days I haven’t left her side – other than the occasional shower and bathroom break – as I waited for her to open her eyes just one more time. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her. One last time.
This pounding migraine I had was worsening and I was beginning to feel tired. Late night television was awful after Leno and it was getting hard to keep my eyes open. I glanced at my watch to see that it was just after three. Maybe a little coffee and a danish would make me feel better. Standing, I stooped over to give Renee a quick kiss on the forehead and turned to leave the room. That was when I saw them for the first time.
Two silhouettes stood near the doorway. The taller one stood over six feet and had his hands clasped in front of him with a slight smile playing across his face. He wore a light gray woolen suit and a long gray trench coat. His eyes were dark in contrast with his pale face and hair, his features angular and slightly gaunt. Somehow he reminded me of someone, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember whom. The other was shorter than the first by almost a foot. His frame was thin and wore similar clothing as his larger companion, but was dressed completely in black, his face completely obscured by shadows. He stood with his back against the wall near the bathroom, arms crossed over his chest.
“Who are you?” I asked. “What do you want?”
The taller man turned his head slightly to glance over his shoulder at his partner. “I’m here to offer you a choice, Jonathon.” He answered with a thick deep voice. “And there isn’t much time.”
That struck me as odd. How did this guy know my name? I quickly surmised that they had gotten it from one of the nurses who frequented Renee’s room. These guys weren’t familiar to me, but they seemed a little strange to be some of Renee’s associates. They weren’t the people from the insurance company either. Who would be stopping by here at three in the morning? I wasn’t sure what he meant by a choice, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk with anybody. My head was pounding so hard I was starting to see double.
“Look, fellas, it’s too early in the morning right now. I don’t know what you’re here for, but I don’t have the time or the patience to deal with anyone right now.” I groaned. “Maybe you can stop by some other time.”
The taller man smiled a little wider while his associate shuffled as if agitated. “I don’t think you understand, Jonathon. You’ve been given a once in a lifetime opportunity.” He reached up to straighten his lapels, his face becoming grim. “Although not unprecedented, being given this choice is rare. You should feel honored.”
This was really beginning to sound bizarre. “What do you mean I’ve been selected?” I asked. “Who has selected me?”
The shorter stranger shivered. The taller man turned to regard him laughed lightly. “Why, He has, Jonathon.” He responded, casting his eyes upwards.
Oh, great. It appears the hospital chaplain had decided to make a visit. Well, chaplain or no, I wasn’t in the mood for this. And what choice did I need to make; burial or cremation? This was my wife he was talking about!
“Look, buddy, I don’t know who you think you are, but this is not funny.” I growled. “Now why don’t you two leave before I call security. And don’t come back.”
The taller man cocked his head to one side. “Your time is coming soon, Jonathon. Much sooner than you realize. You must make a decision.” He and his companion started towards the door. As he reached the threshold, he turned to regard me.
“It won’t be long now.” With that, the two of them turned to corner and was gone.
Now I was just getting scared. I ran to the door, determined to get those two arrested. Were they planning on hurting Lisa? Were they planning to hurt me? Looking in the direction they had left, I saw nothing but an empty hall. It was as if they had just evaporated. I checked the other direction to see Renee’s nurse, Lisa, walking towards me. She was young, perhaps twenty-five, and very beautiful. She was in her first year as a resident at the hospital and had been going above and beyond her duties to see to Renee’s needs. It was also nice to have someone to talk to that could still make me laugh, despite what was happening. As she approached me, her shoulder-length red hair, tied into a pony tail, bobbed back and forth.
“How are you feeling today, Mr. Curtis?” She asked with a concerned smile.
I rubbed my face in my hands, my weariness and splitting headache made me irritable. “Same as always, Lisa. My wife’s still practically in a coma dying of an unknown disease, I’m apparently being threatened by the mob and I have a massive headache. I couldn’t be better.” I replied sarcastically. I immediately regretted what I said when I saw her bright smile disappear. My heart sank at my attitude towards this woman that seemed to only be concerned about my welfare.
I put my hand gently on her shoulder. “Look, I’m sorry. It’s just been a long day, that’s all.” She looked up at me her bright green eyes telling me how much she understood. “Did you happen to see two guys dressed in trench coats leave the room just a second ago?”
“No. I just saw you standing here at the door.” She responded hesitantly. “It’s too early for visiting hours anyways.”
“It’s nothing.” I whispered under my breath. When she started to scrutinize me, I stopped her. “It was nothing. Just need some sleep I guess.” I glanced back towards Renee’s bed. “Are you here to check on her?”
“Yeah.” She answered as she started into the room. “Has there been any change?”
“Nothing so far. She hasn’t moved yet. I just hope she…” I paused as a wave of agony tore through my skull. For a moment, it felt like my head was being pulled apart. The migraines were getting worse.
“Are you alright, Jon?” Lisa asked uneasily. “It’s the headaches again, isn’t it?”
When the pounding subsided I nodded, the movement making me a little dizzy.
“Yeah. I just need an aspirin. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll grab a couple and a cup of coffee. You need anything?”
“No thanks. I just got off of my break.” She smiled. “Are you sure you’re okay? I can grab you that aspirin if you like.”
I grinned back at her trying to hide my discomfort. “Thanks, but no. I need to walk around a bit anyways.”
I started down the hallway towards the cafeteria, hoping the coffee was as strong as I heard. The meeting with the two strangers still haunted me with unanswered questions; I knew I wasn’t going to be getting much sleep again tonight.
Lisa stuck around for two more hours after completing her rounds to keep me company. I heard all about her new boyfriend and his obsession with model planes. He sounded like a nice guy and was good to her, so I was happy for her. When she finally left, I was able to get about three hours of rest before my head started pounding again. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I gazed over at Renee. Everything that happened last night seemed like a distant dream now. Perhaps my overactive mind had dreamed it all up. Maybe my desperation in wanting to find a way to help her had made me a little mad and hallucinatory. I wasn’t even sure anymore. With only three hours sleep, and the hour going on nine, I got up to use the bathroom when I saw them again. Just like last night, they were standing in the door exactly as I remembered them.
“How do you feel, Jonathon.” The taller man asked impassively.
I regarded both of them, curious as to why the smaller man had yet to speak. “I’ve got a bad damn headache. I also remember telling you I’d call security if you ever came back..” I stood and clenched my fists by my side threateningly. “Why don't you save us both the trouble and just gett the hell out of here!”
The tall stranger smiled. “Patience, Jonathon. It is almost time for you to make your decision. It won’t be long now.”
I narrowed my eyes as I detected a threatening tone in his last statement. “Who the hell are you? What decision am I supposed to make?”
“You are to decide who lives and who dies.” He stated matter-of-factually. “And who I am isn’t of any importance. Let’s just say I’m a messenger.”
I was shocked and, I must admit, a little afraid. Keeping my eyes on the two, I placed myself between them and my beloved wife. They were here to kill her! Who would want her dead? Hastily, I grabbed the call button and pressed it repeatedly, hoping a nurse would come soon. I needed to get these guys out of this room!
The smaller man shook his head sadly, still hiding his mysterious face behind the brim of his hat. The gray-coated stranger frowned at me.
“Tsk tsk, Jonathon. You shouldn’t have done that.” He stated grimly.
I grabbed the nearest weapon I could find. Unfortunately, it was only the plastic pitcher I had been using for my water. I held it by the handle and above my head, a few leftover drops dribbling onto my shoulder. Strangely enough, the two never moved. They just stood there staring at me. At least I think the smaller stranger was staring at me. It would help if he weren’t hiding in the damn shadows all the time.
I heard a commotion from outside and watched a doctor run into the room with a nurse. What really unsettled me was how they ran straight through the tall stranger as if he weren’t even there. Shocked, I could do nothing but babble when the doctor asked me a question.
“What’s wrong, Mr. Curtis? Did something happen here?” The doctor – Armstrong, I believe – asked me emphatically.
“Can’t you see them?” I pointed towards the two strangers, still standing calmly by the door. “They’re right there at the door. Can’t you see?”
Both turned towards the door then back to me. They glanced at each other and looked to me incredulously.
“They can’t see us, Jonathon.” The stranger told me. “We are seen by your eyes alone.”
“What do you mean, they can’t see you?” I screamed at him. “Who in the hell are you?”
“Calm down, Mr. Curtis. Get a hold of yourself.” The doctor coaxed me. “There’s nobody there.”
At that point, I had just about lost it. My head was pounding like it was about to explode and now I was seeing ghosts. What was happening to me? The two strangers turned towards the door. Before leaving, the tall man smiled at me sadly.
“It won’t be long now.”
Frantic, I jumped away from Doctor Armstrong, rushing for the door. “You have to stop them! Don’t let them get away!” I screamed.
Reaching the door, I looked both ways and, like yesterday, they were nowhere to be seen. I was starting to lose my mind. Yes, that was it. My fear of being alone has driven me to a point where I’m seeing phantoms. But, no. These guys were real. At least real to me. They want my Renee! I couldn’t let them take her. She’s all I have. I felt hands touch my shoulder gently, but still I jumped from the contact. The nurse stood behind me, a worried look on her face.
“Everything will be all right, Mr. Curtis. Why don’t you sit down.” She led me towards the chair by the bed.
I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. I was sweating profusely and my head felt as if it would tear apart from the pain. I could feel the world close around me as my vision began to dim. Dr. Armstrong said something, but I couldn’t make it out. Within seconds, everything went black.
When I awoke, I was lying in a bed. There was a light, but it was too dim to make out where I was. Remembering the two strangers, I searched around frantically. I had to get back to Renee! I couldn’t let those monsters take her. A comforting voice came from the darkness. Following the sound, I saw Lisa walking quickly towards me from the bathroom. I was in one of the hospital rooms.
“Lie still, you’re going to be alright, Jon.” She soothed. “You just had a nasty fall and hit your head.”
Still dazed, I tried to stand. “Where am I?” I asked. “And where’s Renee?”
“Renee’s in the room right across the hall.” She responded. “When I clocked in, Carmen told me what had happened. I rushed right down to check on you. I convinced the doctor that you needed to be close to her so I asked him to put you in this room.”
She smiled at me as if trying to comfort me. I had to get to Renee’s room, but I felt so sluggish.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
“Just a little woozy, but I’m fine, I guess.” I groaned. “I need to get to Renee’s room. It’s important that I be with her.”
Lisa gnawed her lower lip as if she was asking herself what she should do. Grabbing her hand, I looked into her eyes pleadingly.
“Please, Lisa. This is important to me.”
She thought about it for a few moments before nodding and heading out the door. She came back a few minutes later with a wheelchair and a comforting smile. Helping me into the chair, she checked that I was comfortable before wheeling me across the hall to Renee’s room. I was relieved when the door was opened and the two strangers were nowhere to be found.
“I’ve been checking on here more often since you passed out.” Lisa told me. “There’s been no change yet.”
I nodded and reached for Renee’s hand. It still felt cold, but the contact was reassuring. I turned as I heard Lisa start to leave.
“I’ll let you have your privacy and will check back with you in about a half hour.” She promised. “Please don’t do anything strenuous. They’ve taken cat scans of you and should have the results by morning. If they find out I’ve allowed you out of bed I could get in trouble.”
“How long was I out?” I asked in confusion.
“Almost fifteen hours.” She replied. “It’s almost midnight now. Can I get you anything?”
I smiled warmly at her. “No thanks. I’m fine. I’ll see you in a bit.”
She returned my smile and left, closing the door behind her. I was left still wondering about my visitors. Was the man I spoke to actually Death? Was he here to take my beloved Renee away from me? And if he was, how was I going to stop him? This was just too much for me to handle. I had to do something. All of the day’s events toiled through my mind as I drifted off in slumber sitting in the wheelchair.
I slept straight through the night and woke as the sun was rising. I felt good, but was still the victim of a bad migraine. Renee was as beautiful as always, although I saw a more peaceful and content expression on her face. I smiled as I grasped her hand and kissed her fingers. The sound of someone clearing their throat made me nearly jump out of the wheelchair. Standing there, by the door once again, was the man in the gray coat, his always quiet friend fidgeting behind him by the bathroom door.
“It’s time, Jonathon.” I heard him say. “Time to make a decision.”
“Why are you doing this?” I asked in desperation. “What have I done to deserve this?”
The tall man cocked his head and smiled. “Why, Jonathon. You’ve been a great person your entire life. So has your wife.” He answered. “It’s because of your generosity in life that you have been given this opportunity.”
“But why am I being asked to choose? What would be the point?” I felt helpless. It was so hard to think.
The man regarded his companion for a moment then looked at me grimly. “You have been given a choice because you are both dying. Within moments, you will collapse as the result of a brain aneurysm.” That made the man’s dark friend shudder for a moment. “Renee is dying from a disease that has no cure. At least not yet. One of you will live, but in order for that to happen, the other must die. There’s no more time. You must choose now.”
I don’t know what came over me at that point. The pain in my head was worsening and I knew the man was right. There was only one thing I could do.
“Take me. Let her live.” I responded quickly. “I love her more than life itself and I don’t think I could go on without her.” I nodded as the realization hit me. I had made my choice. “It’s the one thing I want.”
The tall man smiled slightly and nodded. He unclasped his hands and started to walk towards me.
“Stop.”
The command came from the man’s companion, who now straightened and walked towards us. What was going on now? The form became clearer to me as a shadowed haze began to lift as did the face. I was shocked at what I saw.
It was Renee.
“I can’t let you do this, Jon.” She said quietly. “I can’t let you die for me.”
This was getting very confusing now. What in the hell was going on? I looked back at the bed and saw my wife’s comatose body, just as she had been for the past five days now. How could she be standing here in front of me?
“I’ve watched you these last few days. You haven’t left my bedside and you haven’t been taking care of yourself. It’s time for you to move on, Jon. It’s time for you to let me go.”
“How are you here, Renee? How is this possible?” I asked, I think. I was just too shocked to remember. I reached for her and was shocked when my hand passed right through her! So she wasn't here either?
She smiled then. It was the same smile that made me fall in love with her. “Jon, I’ve been gone now for almost a week. I never lapsed into a coma, like you thought I did. I’m closer to death than even the doctors realize. My body may still be alive, but my soul has gone.” She stared at her body lying there on the bed. She motioned for me to look at her still and when I did I saw a tear well up out of the corner of her eye. I didn’t know what to think. This was all happening too fast. “You see. My body cries for you, Jon. I can’t allow you to die for me. For my sake, I want you to live.”
I felt the lump in my throat and the sting in my eyes as I started crying. I turned to the gray man, who had been patiently standing beside her. “Take both of us, if you have to. I don’t want to make this decision.”
He shook his head sadly. “I’m sorry, it doesn’t work that way. I can only take one of you.”
“Why? If it’s my decision, why can’t I just go with her?”
The gray man closed his eyes for a moment, contemplating. “I haven’t told you everything. You see, we’ve had what you may call a clerical error. Someone got their wires crossed somewhere and you both were inadvertently put on the list. To straighten it out, He decided that a decision must be made. He wanted the choice to be made by you.” He bowed his head slightly and continued. “Only one of you was supposed to die today, not both. I’m sorry I can’t honor your request, but I’m merely a messenger. I don’t make the rules.”
“Jon,” Renee interrupted, “Please. Let me go. I’ll be in good hands. Go on with your life and always keep me in your heart. Always remember that I love you.”
“I…I can’t.” I sobbed. “I can’t go on without you. It’s too hard.”
“Jon, listen to me. All my life, I’ve been waiting to find someone that I can share my dreams and desires with. I found that person in you. When I was taken and told of this choice you’d have to make, I became selfish. I realized that I was given another chance at life through you and I didn’t want to pass it up. It wasn’t until just now that I realized what that decision would mean and what it would cost me.”
“How do you think I feel?” I asked her as I wiped my eyes. “If we’re both dying then I would rather it be me instead of you.”
She shook her head sadly. “Don’t you see, Jon? It’s because of my condition that you’ve stressed yourself to the breaking point. It’s your fear over my welfare that is killing you. You’ve always been there for me, Jon, and I love you for that. Please do this for me so I can die knowing that I did something truly meaningful for you.”
I have always been a stubborn man. When I made a decision, I stuck by it. Meeting Renee mellowed me out a little, but I always instinctively stuck to my morals. Looking into Renee’s pleading eyes always made me see things from another perspective. This was her wish. As much as I hated it, I was going to do what she wanted. I wanted to make her happy.
Slowly I nodded as tears ran down my face. “I ask only one request from you before you take her from me.” I gazed into my beloved’s eyes. “Let me hold her for just a moment more.”
The gray man grinned as if expecting what I had asked. “I think we can do that. But first…”
The man reached up towards my head and surprised me by driving his fingers into my temples. I squeaked in surprise, but didn’t feel a thing. The pressure from the migraine eased up a little at a time before disappearing completely. When he was done, he put his hand on Renee’s shoulder and turned towards the door. Were they leaving?
“Wait. What about my request?” I asked frantically.
“Your request will be granted, Jonathon. Fear not.” With that, they stepped through the door.
“Jon?”
It was Renee’s voice. I turned to see her still lying in bed, awake and smiling. I reached for her and kissed her tenderly, holding her as she cried into my shoulder.
“I’ll be fine.” She told me. “Everything will be all right.”
I gazed into her beautiful blue eyes. “I was beginning to think this was all a hallucination. I’m sorry, baby.” I cried.
She flashed me a small smile. “Always keep me in your heart, Jon. Always remember that I love you.”
“I love you too, Renee.”
She closed her eyes then, and was gone.
Things have been hard for me this last year since Renee died. My boss had been good enough to give me a few weeks to get my affairs in order. I returned back to work, but my heart just wasn’t in it. My boss had decided that it was as good a time as any for a promotion and I was given the position of marketing manager, with a hefty increase in my salary to boot. Seems it’s hard to find good help these days and my boss couldn’t bear the thought of losing me. The change has done me some good. I’ve thought about Renee every day and missed her sorely, but I tried to push the events of her final days out of my mind.
Lisa was spending more time with me. She and her boyfriend had broken up and she used that as an excuse to check up on my progress at every opportunity. It seems the scans that were taken of me did indicate a dilated blood vessel in my brain, but subsequent scans told them it had mysteriously disappeared. That still didn’t stop her from visiting from time to time. She understands what I'd been through and has been great helping me recover from Renee’s death, but I can see the affection she has for me when I look in her eyes. Maybe I’ll ask her out on a real date one of these days.
It was while I was packing the last of Renee’s things that I was able to begin really moving on with my life, as Renee had wanted. I stumbled across her old scrapbook and found some newspaper clippings, photos and keepsakes from when she was a girl. There, staring out at me from a photograph, was the face of the gray man that had made those visits to her room. It was then that I understood why she said she was in good hands.
It was a picture of Renee’s father.
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