Yeah, I think differently. Everyone does, that's what makes people who they are. So while some get amazing grades in math and reading, I'll find I'm better at the arts. Playing music, singing, drawing, and writing is where I resonate. And honestly, people notice them. 554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9Q6KBTVwB
I am told I'm both beautiful and talented by my peers, and I'm more than lucky to be surrounded by such beautiful and wonderful people in return. No drama, no gossip, it's a dream, really. And I'm positive they don't enjoy me for only my talents since I very rarely ever use them publicly, besides the occasional doodle on the side margins of my notes in class.
They see that. They see a gift I was blessed with, the natural talent to sing and play music, and on top of that, I can give them an interesting perspective that they're always so curious to understand. Awesome right? I'm that popular kid.
But everyone is with their faults. Socially, I can do it. Academically, I can't-- no, let me rephrase that: Academically, I struggle.
It isn't a matter of grades, I've come to an understanding that As and Fs don't define who I am as a person, so the Ds and Cs sting a little less each day. I failed freshman year. Yup, failed. Flat out had to repeat half my classes over the summer to make it up. My parents, bless their souls, never got mad. 554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6Epya8Sgo
It wasn't because I blew my time away partying-- I don't party (unless it's in my room over Skype playing video games, honestly.) And it wasn't because I was wasting my time on video games. My Mom and Dad knew that, so carefully, they asked if it was okay to have a Psychologist come over and test me to see if I had a learning disability.
I do.554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPuZypKvPX
I retain less than 50% of what I read and hear when I am focusing at a normal rate. 554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpOq3Ll1vR
So, whenever I was in class, my brain was working 30 to 40% more than the average student. Not that I'm handicapped and deserve pity, in fact, that's the last thing I want and that was the last thing I wanted, however, I recognized this as a problem. I still do. Lectures are practically useless, and even having a phone call with someone is extremely tiring. It simply takes too much energy.
So I've learned to adapt. I have to question the teachers constantly, shamelessly asking them to repeat things, and asking my neighbors to help me when I take notes. I have to take a test away from the class, and when I do my homework, it doesn't surprise me when I didn't do half the problems-- I don't notice them. I can study for hours on end for a test and still fail, my friends are always shocked since I basically helped them study for the test, but failed it myself. I can't take tests well. It's just how my head works. 554Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKhFZrjI6J
My parents always had to come after school to parent teacher conferences to converse about my "disrespective attitude" or "focusing issues," so the first time my parents were called in for a parent teacher conference and it wasn't about how I was failing in my elementary classes, they were shocked. My 6th grade teacher redefined school for me, and bless her heart for it, but it didn't make it any easier.
School will always be hard for me. There's no way of getting around it. My artistic mind is telling me to think one way when society demands the opposite. The school system isn't amazing, and I'm fortunate I'm at an amazing school right now.
Perhaps you notice my talents, but please be wary of my faults. As an artist, I struggle daily in school, and it's my reality.
So, for fellow artists and abstract thinkers alike (or unalike) know that school is only half of life, and the rest of it will be ours for the taking!
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-The Respected Dummy, Struggling Artist, and Lonely Thinker: LovelySheree
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