It has been ten painful days now that I sulk around here on my own and have nothing to do but stare silently at the ceiling from my bed while turning my thumbs. If only I had a book to read or a radio to listen. Something to help me pass the time. I can almost maddeningly scratch the ceiling with my nails if only I could reach but I can not. My legs walked on without me. I still have them attached to my body but now I can only lie in bed or roll about in a wheelchair. I sighed deeply as I heard the nurse wheeling in with a silent squicking bringing the tray of food which tastes horrible. Actually everything is horrible here in the hospital from the strong smell of cleanser and medicine to the doctors and the nurse who's job is to care me. She does her best to cheer me up but it is no use; I would only be contented if I had a book, the bible would suffice although I am not religious nor Christian and if it were only the old or new testament. When the nurse spoke I barely listened. Very soon she was out and I was left alone again. I sighed deeply as if trying to get rid of some terrible weight off my lungs or chest.367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZgsv0Ijdaw
"Why the sighing?" Asked a voice.
Quickly I faced to the door and blinked as if I had been sleeping. A young girl in green pyjamas with colourful printed flowers stood by the open door and looked at me with curious chocolate-brown eyes. "Why do you care?" I grunted.
"We all have some trouble here. You must be bored. Come. Let me show you around." She spoke with a grin. Remaining to be friendly rather than just leaving me alone.
I could not help but stare at her. She somehow reminds me of my daughter and my wife back at home. I wonder? How long have I been out? Is my family still alive? Quickly I looked down to the floor and empty space between her and me. I know staring is rude but what can I do when she has a familiar face? Slowly I began to shake my head and a pain began to burn close to my heart. A pain of longing.367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm2y0Wzflz
"What's the matter?"
I tossed over, facing the window. I was mean to this girl. She should best leave me alone. I have done already enough guilty and terrible things. Things that no one would understand unless you were with me the whole time. At the front of a bloody war. Unwillingly. I never wanted to go there in the first place compared to other young lads. I knew then and now that when there is war death is not far behind. Somehow death did not take me, an old man but other young lads. War has taken only my legs and scarred my mind, my memories with horrible pictures and fear.
"Hey, it's okay. I too have trouble dealing with the reality. I have cancer and my time is running out next month. What's your's?" Spoke the girl from behind me.
Cancer? A young girl like her has cancer? Slowly I dared to turn around, facing her. "Cancer?" I wondered astounded. She nodded. For a moment there was silence. I was gathering words how to say what I have and stared down at my legs covered by a white duvet. "I've lost my legs."
"Your legs? Meaning you can't walk?" She looked down at my feet and then to me. I only nodded. "Do you have a wheelchair then?"
I nodded again.
"Where is it?"
"Why do you need it?" I asked.
"I want to show you something."
"Something?" I repeated lightly skeptical, raising an eyebrow.
"It's hard to explain. Showing it to you says everything."
"Alright." I sighed. "It's behind the door." For her sake I will let her wheel me about in the hospital. Secondly I have got nothing to lose. Quickly she brought the wheelchair very close to the bed. She was about to help me but I refused. I wanted to do this on my own as the nurse showed me how it is done. With all my strength in my arms I managed to sit in the wheelchair and dragged my lifeless legs into position.
"You're strong." She noted surprised while I dragged my legs.
"I had to, to survive."
"Survive from what?" She wondered and started to push gently the wheelchair towards the corridor.367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2rnOH9gy7
"War."
"Heavens! The war that is going on right now? You're lucky to be alive!"
"Not from where I'm standing."
"What do you mean?" She wondered and halted.
"You're too young to understand."
She stepped in front of me with narrowed eyebrows. She looked angry. "Me, too young to understand? My life ends next month you know that?" She recalled bewildered.
I was speechless for a moment. Quickly I was able to collect myself and spoke. "Sorry to anger you so but you can never fully imagine and understand what it's like to be in a war. Unless you were with me the whole time and thank God you didn't. To be honest I wish I was dead now and some young lad should take my place to live. Maybe even become my daughter's husband. No! Death took the other lads and left me to torture on those dreaded memories. Even when the doctors say that I have been lucky. I see no luck in this. No luck!"
The girl remained silent. Damn it. I was too harsh. I think I am going meshugge already. I covered my face in my hands. Ashamed what I said.
"Sorry. I thought dying of cancer in a month is the worst but what you said is nothing to compare." She paused. I did not see but heard movement. She is leaving me.367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5yhQ5vPf5
Suddenly the wheelchair began to move onward. Quickly I looked up. We were walking down a long corridor. Quickly I turned to see who pushed the wheelchair. It was the same girl. She did not smile any longer and I saw tears trickling down her cheek. "Why are you crying?" I wondered concerned. She did not give an answer but bit her lower lip with a silent sniff and continued to push onward.367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwQkFOxilF
Suddenly she halted. I looked ahead of me. I could not believe my eyes. My heart started to beat very loud like a drum. Tears began to well in my eyes and made sadly everything blurry. Quickly I wiped the water in my eyes away to be sure this is no dream of mine. Before me stood my beautiful and loving daughter and wife.367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkEEwexHXP
My daughter came running at me with open arms. "Poppa!" Her embrace was warm but almost too tight. I did not care. All that mattered was that she is here. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and forehead. "Sophia." I whispered with the great joy. Very soon my wife joined in the embrace. "Laila." I whispered and kissed her. More tears were streaming from my eyes the great feeling of joy overwhelmed me that I could barely speak and not stop smiling or grinning.367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpGt1FsiSAA
After a long moment of embracing and kissing, my daughter Sophia gently started to push my wheelchair towards the exit. My wife Laila rested a hand upon my shoulder.
"Wait." I said and looked behind me. The girl was still there. There was a grin on her pale lips and waved at me. Quickly I made a gesture of the hand for her to come over. She quickly walked up to me. I took gently her pale hand. "I'm sorry for what I've said before." I apologized.
She shook her head and grinned. "Although they were harsh words. I saw for the first time that even with cancer there are worse things than what I have. Go in peace." She spoke calmly and placed a hand over mine as a friendly gesture and somewhat I felt a goodbye or even a farewell. "You too." I whispered. After few silent moments she lets go of my hand and I was out.
The sun shone very bright. So bright and radiant...367Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4ruRaLyEx
