Much like the Chapter 1 - Book 1 entry, I'm wondering which version is better because my OCD and the way the news causes fear with COVID-19, not a good combo. So below I'll list both versions. Which one is better flowing and best fits continuing from which version is seen as better from Chapter 1 would be nice to know for input. I'll bold area's that are different between versions 1 and 2 in order to see what the differences are. Or if a mix of the 2 versions for a 3rd version would be better. Thank you again if I can get any feedback as I worry it's still not good enough.
Version 1: Chapter 2: Checking In
Inside the mansion, Tsun's muffled footsteps continued across the long, rich, golden edged red carpet path. Near the separating staircase, he turned right and stepped off the carpet to the left, allowing his steps to echo off the lavender tinted marble slabs, high ceiling and decorated walls. He came to a back wall near where the stairs turned and pushed aside a tapestry depicting a hand scythe over a crescent moon. Slipping in behind it, Tsun passed through a hidden door and advanced up the slightly narrow staircase.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnn1LzpyvTG
Once at the top, he turned left on the wider step and opened another door which closed quietly behind him, torches dimly lighting the moderately long hallway. Tsun adjusted the folded white collar of the buttoned up shirt that rested under his blue vest while he walked. Sliding his hands down, he smoothed his coat as he passed a few doors to his left and right.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIvEgE1DQB
At the end of the hall he stopped. One of the flickering shadows snaked up then vanished through the sliver between the door and its frame. Tsun opened the wooden construction, stepping into the doorway and bowing with one hand across his chest. “My-”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0073YxHnjw
“Are they all keeping on schedule?” the young man asked firmly without turning away from his bookcases.
“Yes, my Emperor.” Tsun stood upright and folded his hands behind his back.
“You’re sure all will be completed on time?” the Emperor flipped a page of the photo album held in his white gloved hands.
“Of course.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrPBkuzrRd
“Because you know how I hate things being left incomplete.” The young man remarked with a lighter tone in his voice which matched the smile that tugged on to his lips.
Tsun took a quiet breath and his tone almost fell flat while maintaining respect. “I once more assure you, everything will be finished on time and to our standards.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCLrYmgVRJ9
“Good...and a flawless execution?” the Emperor asked, a small frown crossing his lips while tracing a finger over a young man’s face who stood a few people down from him in the years old military academy photo.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfYKiFy2mX
Tsun nodded, “of course Emperor Delecourt. All will be perfect for the announcement.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnlB4KaEMN
The Emperor’s lips fell into a scowl as his silver eyes narrowed dangerously on the photo album. “Do you wish to repeat that?” he questioned heatedly under his breath.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0Vce0g1vH
“Pardon, Emperor Delecourt?” Tsun asked while taking a step closer.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dgWINnajf
The book snapped loudly shut, causinga Tsun to take a step, and almost stumble, back. “Don’t.” Delecourt turned his head to glare over his shoulder through some black bangs. “Ever.” He growled while fully turning to face Tsun. “Call me by HIS last name!” Delecourt snapped with an outward swing of his suddenly flaming left arm.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ObKvepKn5
Tsun stumbled nearly out the door with his face fallen into fright. He had managed to avoid being struck by a briefly solidified shadow looking blade. The blade vanished into smoke and Tsun swallowed a couple times to wet his suddenly dry, tight throat. “My-my apologizes, Emperor. The frustration from the-the slaves caused my mind to momentarily fog, ” he stammered, trying to maintain a formal composure.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicUsGyysZj
Amoxious snarled at the adviser’s defense for his slip. “You know well, or should, that I do not want to hear anyone address me by my father’s pitiful name.” He straightened his back further with his flaming arm coming to rest down next to, but not touching, his side.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ApXvUpZil
“Yes, I remember. It will not happen again.” Tsun vowed with a proper bow.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLNKtfaRzXz
Amoxious lifted and held his left hand palm up, the flames traveling steadily down to his hand. “If you cannot,” the flames reached his palm and a dagger formed from the flaming shadows now floating above his hand. “I’ll gladly remove your tongue to fix the problem myself.” He closed his hand and snuffed out the blade. “I hope that is clear enough to you, half-breed.”
Tsun glared coldly, standing upright. “I’m not a half-breed. I’m a full-blood de-”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJ6ZVCzZJ7
Amoxious scoffed and turned his back to his adviser. He scanned the bookstand in front of him. “You’re just as useless as father and mother were to this land,” he lowly stated while slipping the album back into place.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3t7CORVhD
“Thank you for your praise and reminder, my Emperor.” Tsun forcefully said through his tense jaw.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0qNgr1ABb
Amoxious turned and scanned over the bookshelf for a moment before he slipped the album back into place. “How is my betrothed doing? You ensured her accommodations were met?”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsueCNlYUV1
“Of course. All requests have been fulfilled.” Tsun politely and carefully responded, a small growl emanating from his throat. Although she would likely get more loyalty from a slug, he thought with a matching expression, folding his hands behind his back once more.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkH74a9f9kk
Amoxious listened while walking over to the other bookstand, eyeing over the titles. “Good. My gryphoness deserves all she requests.” He scrunched his face up a little while scanning the shelves. “You also have ensured that she would be coming?”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvZBxf36M9
Tsun coughed quietly before swallowing back some acidic poison. “Yes, I’ve triple checked and it has been confirmed. Mister and Misses Syta will attend this evening.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0ecT37OkH
“Good,” Amoxious cooed with a smile returning to his lips. “I want it to be perfect for her.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmAonwxDFa
Tsun slightly rolled his eyes with a suppressed groan before again folding his hands behind his back. “I will be assuming, my Emperor, the ‘her’ you speak of with such lust is your fiance, yes?”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUPoTI7IIs
“Of course,” Amoxious slowly answered, pulled out a book and put it back with a frown. Where is it? ‘A Centaur’s Run’, no…’A Mid-Afternoon’s Frolic’, no. His silver eyes narrowed while he advanced further down the shelf. Hmm…’Hunt for the Great Beast’? he pulled it off the shelf, flipped through it, snapped it shut and shoved it back into place.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQENnCWmhU
Tsun’s eyes fell to a straight look of unamusement, taking a breath. “If you’re looking to see about that half-breed, she isn’t coming,” he flatly explained. “It’s hard for a dead woman to attend the ball of the living.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTuUmLVcVh
“I’m fully aware of this, half-breed.” Amoxious snarled and his eyes locked on a book. Is it…? He pulled the book titled ‘Tale of the Fallen Aphelian Angels’ and flipped through before he stopped on a bookmarked page.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xsBqntHVw
Tsun scowled, tightening a fist behind his back. “Emperor, I-”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPYUN2Hfof
“Ah! There you are.” Amoxious commented, ignoring Tsun’s objections.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7WqwNDc9S
Tsun growled and stopped after a few brief moments. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and swallowed his acidic saliva once more. “Do you require anything else of me, Emperor Amoxious?” the adviser tensely questioned with his slow exhale.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTBJNeGnq6
“You’re dismissed,” Amoxious casually said with a wave of his hand, his face not turning away from the book.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZiwyi8otk
Tsun bowed with one hand over his chest. “Might I add, your fitting is in an hour, Emperor Amoxious.” He stood straight, turned and left while closing the door behind him.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeuBn7Q2rw
Once alone, Amoxious looked back over his shoulder. He then turned his focus to the picture of a woman with black wings stretching her arms above her head, her brown hair blown by the breeze on a balcony belonging to his chambers. “He doesn’t understand that you live. That is, if what I heard and saw through my familiar was correct.” Amoxious stroked the photo with a couple fingers. “I hope you’ll keep your promise upon our eyes meeting. I don’t like knowing that animal has your hand.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfx58G2Li6D
He sighed after several long seconds, closed his eyes and gently closed the book. “I only hope you’ll remember me with your now feeble human mind.” Amoxious opened his eyes and slid the book into place. “You were so beautiful, as a nephilim. You still are, but you’ve lost that original radiance…” he took a deep breath and exhaled, stepping back. “See you this evening, my innocent former half-breed,” he quietly said, twisting as he took another step back and taking his leave.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsKDZKR2k4
Version 2: Chapter 2: Checking In
Inside the mansion, Tsun continued up the long red, golden edged carpet muffling his footsteps. Nearing closer to a parted staircase, he turned and stepped to the left onto lavender tinted marble slabs. His steps echoed up and bounced off the decorated walls and high ceiling. Tsun came around and stopped at a back wall nearly under the staircase. Pushing aside the tapestry depicting a hand scythe laying overtop of a crescent moon, revealed a hidden door. He opened it and slipped inside to the base of a narrow staircase. Starting up, the door latched quietly behind him with the tapestry falling back into place.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsSB4X31YT
Upon reaching the top, he stepped left and opened another door. Passing through, torches dimly lit the moderately long hallway. The door softly closed behind him as his footsteps echoed. Tsun adjusted the folded white collar of his buttoned up shirt, which peaked out from under his blue vest. His hands slid down, smoothing his wine red tailcoat.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZTkHTnYdC
Nearing the end of the hall, out of the flickering shadows one snaked out along the wall and through the nearing door and its frame. Tsun knocked twice before opening the oak wooden door. He stepped into the doorway and bowed with a hand across his chest. “My-”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh46Ps27c7u
“Are they all keeping on schedule?” the young man asked firmly without turning away from his bookcases.
“Yes, my Emperor.” Tsun stood upright and folded his hands behind his back.
“You’re sure all will be completed on time?” the Emperor inquired, pulling a photo album off a shelf and flipping through it.
“Of course.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcegINXw0q
He smiled, his white gloved hand lingering on a page. “Because you know how I hate things being left incomplete.”
Tsun took a breath, his respectful tone nearly falling flat. “Once more I assure that everything will be finished on time and to your standards, Emperor.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqqCS6oabZ
“Good…” his thoughts began to trail with his silver eyes narrowed on an old photo taken at a private military academy. “...and a flawless execution?” he questioned, a frown on his lips as a finger traced over a particular black haired man in the image.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQJ1qWlMbL
“Of course, Emperor Delecourt. All will be perfect for your announcement.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87XxRxl5oo
Delecourt’s eyes shifted from the photo towards his shoulder, his jaw tightened. “Do you care to repeat that?” he requested heatedly under his breath.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUqApP23ag
Tsun frowned and took a step forward. “Parden, Emperor Delecourt?”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ233s2r62Z8
The book swiftly snapped shut and Tsun took a step back, face fallen into concern. “Don’t. Ever.” Delecourt growled, his head turned to glare through black bangs. “Call me by HIS last name!” he snapped, twisting and fully facing Tsun with an outward swing of his ignited left arm.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDXukO1BEm
Tsun fell back out the door, eyes wide in fright as he avoided being struck by a shadow flaming sword. The solid blade floated back to Delecourt and vanished but the flames remained. “Care to try again?” he sternly inquired.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRSDJewmJn
The adviser swallowed a couple times, wetting his tight, dry throat. “My-my apologizes, Emperor Amoxious.” He stammered, standing up. “The frustration from the-the slaves must have caused my mind to momentarily fog.” Tsun took a breath, exhaled and fixed his clothes.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HCNHERgZS
“You should know well by now how I wish to not hear my father’s pitiful name, let alone be addressed by such in my title.” Amoxious snarled, his back straightened and arm lowered with the flames still harmlessly licking at his suit sleeve.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5kDA1fd6l
“Yes, I remember. It will not happen again.” Tsun vowed with a proper bow.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3v3IHNTGAN
Amoxious lifted and held his hand palm up, the flames traveling steadily down his arm and forming a shadow dagger to hover above his palm. “If you cannot, then I’ll gladly remove your tongue to fix the problem myself.”
Tsun stood upright, inhaled deeply and straightened his form. “I would expect nothing less.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEqeC2eQGs
Amoxious balled his hand into a tight fist, snuffing out the flames and dismissing the dagger. “Then I hope this has made things clear to you, half-breed.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITbWvrF2gA
The adviser glared coldly and straightened his back as much as possible, his shoulders back and jaw tight. “I’m not a half-breed. I’m a full-blooded de-”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiC4ND1n7NO
“You’re just as useless as father and mother were to this land,” Amoxious scoffed and turned his back to Tsun, slipping the photo album in place before scanning over the bookstand.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwt3kI0e65
Tsun gritted his teeth, forcing a respectful tone through. “Thank you for your praise and reminder, my Emperor.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJurGEBF0TV
“How is my betrothed doing? Have you ensured her accommodations were met?”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0g0CUxfK67
Tsun took a deep breath, his jaw unwillingly relaxing. “Yes, all requests have been fulfilled.” Although she’d get more loyalty from a slug, he thought, clearing his throat to mask a growl into his hand and returning to his proper stance.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNy3ugMdo0
“Good. My gryphoness deserves all she requests.” Amoxious nodded, his scan continued to another bookstand. Pulling a book off, his face scrunched and it was swiftly slid back into place. “Also, have you ensured that she would be coming?”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6HfyFqRVZ
“Yes,” he choked out, swallowing with a quiet hiss and narrowing of his eyes. “I’ve-” he cleared his throat and stood straight again. “I’ve triple checked and it has been confirmed that mister and misses Syta will be attending this evening's event.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5xVVibfGA
Amoxious smiled, scanning the shelf. “Good, I want it to be perfect for her.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNG0yNVyyf8
Tsun suppressed a groan and an eye roll, balling a left fist to rest in the palm of his right hand behind his back. “I’ll assume, my Emperor, the ‘her’ you speak of is your fiance, Dutchess Vynwood?”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYNlkvKZSU
‘A Centaur’s Run’, ‘A Mid-Winter Night’s Frolic’, ‘Hunt for the Great Beast’, damn it, no! Amoxious frowned, narrowing his eyes. “Hm? Yes, of course.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpGEivXl8Q
Tsun’s eyes fell into a straight look of unamusement. Uh huh, sure. He thought, taking a breath. “If you’re looking for that half-breed, sadly to remind you but she isn’t coming. It’s hard for a dead woman to attend a ball of the living.” He flatly explained.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBOoIZcJMVf
“I’m fully aware of this, half-breed.” Amoxious snarled, his eyes resting on a book. Ah, there it is. He reached up and plucked it off the shelf, flipping through it. ‘The Fallen Aphelian Angels’.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOavHMNIBAj
Tsun scowled, tightening his fist more. “Emperor, with respect I-” he stopped as Amoxious waved a dismissive hand. The adviser growled briefly, stopped and took a deep breath. His eyes closed and he swallowed the gathered acidic saliva. “Do you require anything else of me?” Tsun tensely inquired, exhaling slowly.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpir3ll0Kh3
“You’re dismissed.” Amoxious kept his focus on an image of a woman with dark brown hair, striking blue eyes and black feathered wings.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeXVZdCOnT
“Thank you, Emperor Amoxious.” Tsun bowed, one hand across his chest. “A reminder as I depart, your fitting is in an hour.” He turned and left, closing the door quietly behind him.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbbVPeSbdD
Alone in the silence, Amoxious glanced behind him before his gaze returned to the photo. A finger traced the outline of her head, stopping at the balcony railing. “He’ll soon learn you live, so long as what I gathered through my familiar was correct.” His eyes softened and his finger stroked at her hair again. “I hope you’ll keep that promise from that night.” Amoxious eyes narrowed and his jaw tightened. “I don’t like knowing that animal has your hand.”742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7hFVb7ChN
Moment’s trickled by before he sighed, closed his eyes and the book. “Please remember me with your feeble memory. So beautiful with your wings, which appear to have been clipped.” He slid the book back into place, opening his eyes. “My sweet nephilim. My dear angel of the night.” Amoxious took a deep breath and exhaled with a light smile. He took a step, then another back and slowly turned from the shelves. “See you this evening.” Fully turned, the Emperor departed.742Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyq47rz4r7J
