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Cain paused and looked at Adama. It was a look that could have been either envy or pity. "Assis Central have sent me this," he said, tapping on the red-edged document. "They have invited you to become Commander of the Galactica."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMD9HDrLc2t
Adama sat back in his chair and stared at Magister Cain. His face was expressionless. "Surely there's been a mistake. I never put myself forth as a candidate."
"Oh, no, no, no," said Cain. "With the Galactica you did not need to put yourself forth. No one did. The Magistri came looking. I flatter myself that even I, long in the tooth though I be, had a chance. But they needed someone younger. Thus, they chose you."
"But there are..."
"Out of all the available pilots, some of whom are undoubtedly superior to you in matters mathematical and mechanical, they chose you. Or rather they invited you. For the final decision must be yours."
"Why was I not told? Why was I not interviewed?"
"About two yahrens ago, you may remember, we had a visit from the Magister of Assis. You were their guide. You brought them in, took them around to Paradeen, Sectar and Equellus and then saw them on their way. One of them even stayed at your house."
"I thought they were on a fact finding mission."
"They were."
"But they told me..."
"Accept it. They have chosen you. The honor is without equal as far as I am concerned. Though I can see that in your case there are complications."
Silence between the two men. Then Adama.
"Do you know why they reached their decision? Was it voted upon?"
"I suppose voting came into it. It usually does. But they would have spent a long time in meditation. And remember, over half the committee concerned with the Galactica are quaestors. They'll have been in trance a great deal of the time, trying to read the future, examining you, seeing you in light and dark. Few men will have been examined as you have been. Trust me. They quite possible knew you far better than you know yourself. No, more than that. I would say they definitely know you better than you know yourself. Trust them. They are not fools, nor are they politically motivated despite what you've heard. You are nobody's favorite. You are merely the man they have chosen. But in the end, the decision is yours."
"Did you know I was being considered for the Galactica?"
"I knew you were being considered, but that is all. So were Tigh of Paradeen and Zight of Equellus. And there must have been many, many others too. But, they saw something very special in your." Cain looked at Adama quizzically, with his head on one side. "Come on. Don't tell me you are not excited."
"I cannot say I am. I cannot say I am not. Magister, an honor unlooked for, not even considered or even most wanted must make a man pause and ask 'Why me?'"
Cain faked a smile. "How do you truly feel? A modicum of honesty, if you please," he said.
Adama lowered his head, as if ashamed of himself. "I suppose the truth is I don't feel worthy. There must be prospective Saints waiting out there. Women and men with a the Mark of Kobol upon their brow....I mean, I'm not pure....
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VULPANOTE:
You who are reading this and now know something of Adama and the forces that drove him will understand this remark. And I beseech you to pity the ignorance of Magister Cain.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYVMz6Attb
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The conversation ceased. Cain shrugged. He was already deferring to Adama, and then he said: "This is getting us nowhere. Have a glass of ambrosia with me and then go home. Talk with Ila. You can talk with me again tomorrow."
"I have already made part of my decision," said Adama. "You can contact Assis Central that I have asked to take the forty days. I need that time. And if they have taken so many yahrens to decide on a commander for the Galactica, they can surely allow me that small grace of time."
"Of course they will. They will expect it."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5LKsnwdG7P
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A SECOND VULPANOTE:202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcXVn8uCvO
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I was there in the corner and I heard all of this. The forty days is the period permitted to any member of the Order of St. Dionysos when faced with a hard decision. During this period he/she can be absolutely alone, free to commune only with their own conscience. There will be no other human being near to hand. Frequently people fast during the forty days and frequently they have visions. Usually truth prevails. It is as if there is a universal force at work compelling truth to emerge. Forty days is a long time for dishonesty to live undetected in an open human being. It is society, the pressure of other human beings, which makes for dishonesty I think. Solitude provokes crisis and crisis leads to truth.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKnl7GbljS
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Magister Cain continued. "In any case, the Magistri of Assis would likely demand that you take the forty days and that you purge your mind. "You may enter the Jadriel Garden tonight if you wish. I will make all the arrangements. Serpentine I am sure is ready. You should take Vulpa with you too. Use it to record your moods and ideas. It is a competent cylon, reliable and fair, although a bit pompous and old-fashioned in its expression.
In its corner the giant cylon, which resembled the helmet of a Colonial warrior at Gomoray, trembled slightly as it floated on its null-gravity (NG) cells.
"I will take it gladly," said Adama.
Magister Cain raised his hand. "But before you enter the garden be sure to talk to Ila. I suggest that you ask her to go with you. Together you two are a unit. A very powerful force. Consider it well."
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And there the conversation concluded. Both men sat for a while before the fire and sipped their ambrosa.
They seemed to be communicating though they did not speak. I am not implying under any telepathic ability. I have noticed that human beings sometimes seem to communicate most successfully when they are just sitting together and not speaking. Both men were relaxed. Both were drifting in their minds, the centon being late.
Cain, I am sure, was remembering the time when, before he became Magister of Gemon, he was a Master Pilot in charge of a mercystar. And I am also sure he took pride in the fact that one of his domestic pilots had been accorded the singular honor of being invited to command the Galactica.
As for Adama---At that time I did not know what he was thinking. I was surprised that he had accepted the news so calmly. I was flabbergasted that he didn't hurry down the hill to tell his wife Ila. I was surprised that he stayed so long. I saw him swirl the golden ambrosa in his glass. There was a flourish in the gesture. I thought to myself, "He is toasting himself," and at that time I did not realize how dangerous that can be for a human being. Perhaps, even after he sat there, comfortable before the fire, with ambrosa in his glass and basking in the administration of his Magister, he already thought of himself as "called," as one of the elect whom Fate had selected to fulfill its mission. Maybe in his mind he went back to his day on his homeworld Proteus when he met and was possessed by the tauroid-headed God, perhaps he remembered the miraculous rescue of a foolhardy boy outside the dome of his family farm.
Whatever.
The news that he had been chosen to command the Galactica gave him a sense of destiny, and all his woes spread from that.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfKuJrcR0t
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The ambrosa finished, Adama stood up and bowed to Magister Cain. Cain showed him out, walking with him to the door. I drifted behind.
Adama ran down the hill. He paused at the lookout and stood above the bay staring up at the stars. Then it was on again. He never spoke to me.
Knowing where he was going I let myself drift out from the cliff over the dark water and glide down until I was on a level with the arcade where he had his house. Adama came pounding down the pathway and beckoned to me. He threw open his front door and let me glide through first. I heard the voice of Ila calling, "Adama, is that you? What called you away from ch'antra?"
Usually Ila spoke in Colonial Standard, the native language of Adama, for Adama had no real ability to speak other languages despite his contact skills. Nevertheless, while she spoke Colonial Standard she used Callrine expressions whenever necessary for their are concepts which cannot be translated. "Ch'antra" is one. (It will be necessary for you to understand something of the Callrine language if you are to comprehend this story.) "Ch'antra" means literally "the cradle of the stiff-cocked one." If it had been a man speaking he would have used the word "p'eritom" meaning, literally, "the ship's deck where the womb receives." Both words have a sense of rocking, both are concerned with conception and both convey (though I cannot) the idea of fulfillment.
Ila was up and dressed in her nightgown and sitting by the fire in the dining-room when I floated in. She was not expecting me and screamed upon first sight of me. Not surprising. I am big and I am silent in movement, and in resembling the baleful mask of war. I am, I know, frightening. Adama was close behind and immediately called to her not to be alarmed. He had not expected her to be up which means he did not know her sensibly. I drifted to a corner of the room away from the fire and settled myself just under the ceiling. I spoke words in the Callrine language stating that I wished to be forgiven for barging in and that I wanted hereafter to be ignored the way a potted plant is ignored. She answered, "Ta'at o'tto." ("So be it.")
But of course, I am not a potted plant. I observe everything.
Adama came in and joined her at the fire. They kissed and touched intimately after the manner of humans and Callrines. Then Adama drew back. "You look serious and sad," he said.
"Of course I am serious and sad when my t'rpara (quickener) steals away without awakening me."
"Yes. That was foolish of me." Adama sat down on the floor in front of the fire and picked up the poker to stir the logs.
"Something important must have happened."
"One of the callers came for me in the night. Magister Cain sent her. They didn't want to use the com-tel in case there were ears listening."
Ila's eyes widened. "Ears? What ears? Do you mean me? Our children? Do not speak I riddles, Adama. Why were you called? Or is it something you cannot tell me? Is there trouble or joy in the calling?
Adama took a deep breath. "It is everything," he said. "Trouble and joy. I don't know where I am yet." He stared into the fire. Ila looked at his head. She saw the way his hair and beard caught highlights from the fire, then she leaned forward and kissed him in his hair. She loosened the front of her gown so that if he wished to touch her he could. The gown opened revealing Ila's four breasts, her belly and thighs.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SDhZ7SgIW
"You should have awakened me," she said. "No matter what. If we are one flesh, whether I am grown from your rib or or you are grown from my little finger as we Callrines believe, you should have awakened me."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3RaGw1Pef
"Cain was instructed to call me in this way. He didn't have a choice."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsk0ReqXENZ
"But you did." Ila stood up and moved to the table. She poured two glasses of ambrosa and selected some portions of meat from under a domed contrivance in the middle of the table. "Here, let's eat and drink together, at least," she said.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8E4AsC44O
"What do you mean, 'At least'?"202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCdiYquLdT
Ila did not answer this question. "Drink the ambrosa and tell me your news."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZZlBC6Vm1
"I have been asked by Assis Central to become Commander of a mercystar called Galactica."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkujKpOHlN
Ila was chewing, pulling the flesh from a bone with her teeth. She sat back by the fire, relaxed. She paused briefly in her chewing. "And your decision is....?"202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHaWoIuDf5
"I haven't made one. I have told them that I want to take the forty days retreat."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jf8LuKTl7
"Are you not happy as you are now?"202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwesC2jizT
"I am very happy."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsIcVM5yBz
"Well then?"202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJgpGEWToI
"I can't ignore the call. It would not be.....human."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6X5DCpen1F
"Ah."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuK2FUsUXC
"No, I don't mean that to say the way it came out. I mean, they have asked me---the Magistri of Gemon. They have their reasons. Perhaps they see more than I do. I don't know. I want time to think. Time to decide. It is a great honor. A great chance to do good. The best of opportunities to bring relief and some happiness to many species."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWXcOUa4DP
"If you accept their offer what would you propose doing with me and the children?"202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ4WsbIiol2
Adama looked at her with genuine surprise. "Why, you'd come with me, of course. We'd all be together. There's nothing we would lack aboard the Galactica."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVEs1wUKXa
Ila shrugged. "I don't think there is much for me aboard the Galactica. I have my place here, on this world which you call Gemon, but which I call home."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37MVZsAoQe
"Are you saying that if I accept command of the Galactica you will not come with me?"202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPECLNqhMk
"I will not answer a question like that. I will not solve your problem for you. All I will say is that my ambitions are here, in the now, nowhere else."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc411eWwWfQ
"But if you didn't go with me---I could be gone half a lifetime----longer, give the time-slip...."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaerIboUP0q
"I would be old or in my grave when you came back and your children would be fathers and mothers." Adama stared at her, grappling with the thoughts she was drawing before him. She said, "I am trying to make it clear to you."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEVeNLCFtt
'I feel you are giving me an ultimatum."202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kBxOKZrQS
"I am trying to make things clear for you. Life is not a series of ultimatums but a series of crossroads. There is always choice. We change, human or Callrine. We change. You must sort things out for yourself. You are confused now. Soon you shall know your own mind." She opened his arms to him and Adama knelt up and came to her. He set his body between her legs and slipped his arms around her back. They kissed and then he nuzzled lower until he found her lower breasts which were already beginning to lactate. His lips closed upon the nipple and he suckled. Ila closed her arms around him, cradling his shoulders and head. She was tender: mother and wife. And as she let him feed on her she stared, cold-eyed, into the dying fire.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZmqwXijkJ
Moments later I saw her eyes close and her lips part. She began to rock.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSxGKrzTy4
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Some time later Adama rose from Ila. The suckling had made her giddy as it does with all Callrine women. Maybe this is a universal characteristic, for I have noticed that when a man or a woman or a non-human-but-wise creature fulfills part of its nature, it feels satisfied in a bright way. Ila was giddy and lighthearted. She stared at Adama with her dark hazel eyes and told him that he had a choice to make. She told him that life could only be lived at the moment of living and then she sent him on his way.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEyCNz0h5Q
Adama went first to the room where his children were sleeping. He kissed each of them in turn, murmuring words which even I, sharply tuned as I am, could not catch. Then he went into the bedroom which he and Ila shared. He selected a satchel and this he filled with a few personal effects.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0IElyL1ep
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Dawn was brightening the Gemonese sky as he left the house for a second time that night. I went with him.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4dIrZP3cqM
I remember a bright pink light spreading across the sky and making everything glow with a ruddy warmth. We cast long shadows as we moved down to the gate which led into Serpentine's Garden.202Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EJVDVclqv
