WhatsApp傳來一則信息,原來是Kenneth。251Please respect copyright.PENANAYxXuWM6TeL
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「多謝你地揀左份咁好嘅禮物。」251Please respect copyright.PENANADm48BHIO1Z
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「我宜家先知,原來係你同Joe一齊買。哈哈。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAGg04IPxoAl
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Kenneth還附上一張插滿卡片的卡片套的圖片。他信守承諾,開始用那份禮物。知道朋友喜歡自己買的禮物是一件讓人心滿意足的事,就像母親看著自己的子女吃著自己做的菜,吃的很享受的情景一樣。251Please respect copyright.PENANA6Yx92c8Ewl
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「唔洗客氣,你鐘意就好喇。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAdgiXNLQmd0
「Joe話叫我幫佢揀。其實最後都係佢揀。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAkpi97RK1wc
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我還是告訴他,他親愛的朋友Joe其實很著緊他,也很留意他日常的生活。251Please respect copyright.PENANAITqsnAW9LR
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「估唔到Joe會送禮物比我,諗唔到佢會咁上心。」Kenneth很快就回覆。251Please respect copyright.PENANAgXL4CEv61J
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「點解咁諗?佢唔係對朋友好好嘅咩?」我以為Joe對Kenneth的上心,Kenneth一早感受到。251Please respect copyright.PENANAUKBjjxXjt2
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「唔知啊,佢咁多朋友,可能會唔記得我呢。」251Please respect copyright.PENANA035KKoS4xa
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「乜佢好多朋友?」我想從Kenneth身上更加了解Joe。251Please respect copyright.PENANAlY29XZq9TW
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「係啊,好似成日都同女女WhatsApp,上堂又好多朋友一齊坐,有時會有人話佢好狗公。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAJj93M1QgJX
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「狗公」,是一個繪影繪聲的詞語。根據香港網絡大典,狗公是指那些遇上女生就會不顧一切,喪失尊嚴、不擇手段地去討好女性的男人。他們一向奉行著「不論好醜,但求就手」的宗旨去獵女。251Please respect copyright.PENANAN2IMR8nelI
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如果一個男生被冠以「狗公」之名,大概是他討好女性的手段太過明顯。251Please respect copyright.PENANAb94VQP5EtK
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「狗公」,是對男性其中一個最大的指控,一旦被冠上名銜,身邊的女生大概也有所防範,可以當朋友,但絕對不可以再進一步。至於Joe是否狗公,從Kenneth描述Joe的行為,包括不停WhatsApp女生、上課的時候總是跟女生坐一起,他有可能是「狗公」。251Please respect copyright.PENANASxNUNGMSQj
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如果你問我狗公是怎樣的存在?我不能給答案,因為我未接觸過狗公。一來我不屑狗公的行為,二來,狗公不會看上我。251Please respect copyright.PENANATDfSC74I2R
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曾經Angela常常被狗公看上,她跟我埋怨應對狗公讓她心力交瘁。251Please respect copyright.PENANAprKWlD2N6N
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「Angela,有人追你,你都唔開心?」那時候我這樣跟她說,因為她很想交男朋友。251Please respect copyright.PENANADBinzkfIcS
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「好煩嫁,啲人日日搵水吹,成日以為自己講啲野好好笑,又唔知自己幾無聊。」Angela一臉嫌棄。251Please respect copyright.PENANADcrLPH3jNw
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「你唔係好想同人吹水嘅咩?」251Please respect copyright.PENANAYOmhcKdIxX
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「唉,你唔會明佢地幾煩。你個人成日都咁頹廢,連狗公都唔會狗衝你啦。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAyitvxZsgHu
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「唔衝咪好,反正我都唔會鍾意狗公。」我不稀罕的說。251Please respect copyright.PENANAz7vSBeWRYh
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我從回憶重新回到WhatsApp的對話,我問Kenneth:「咁你覺得佢係咪?」251Please respect copyright.PENANAhAbh8AxB5F
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「我又覺得佢唔係咁,佢只不過同女仔傾到計姐,可能係啲仔妒忌佢掛。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAny2jCv4q2s
「都係啲人鐘意玩佢,佢又好似唔係好介意。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAwdRb5i5CIY
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「咁佢都幾玩得。」我回應。251Please respect copyright.PENANAL0cIyjfpdh
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當一個男生連被冠上「狗公」之名也沒有多解釋,甘願比其他朋友繼續玩弄,這個人大方得有點誇張。251Please respect copyright.PENANAYlmaGxGcc5
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「佢好好嫁,成日都派source比啲朋友,不過間中會埋怨下啲朋友freeride次次都係靠佢source。如果係我就應該唔會比啦。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAitNrqyZFhR
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「原來佢咁好人。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAW15VTbfA3n
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「不過佢最憎人地話佢好人,可能成日都收好人卡。」251Please respect copyright.PENANA713jH4j6jX
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在這個時代,被稱讚是一個好人,不是值得高興的事。特別當身邊的女生,或是心儀的對象說出一句:「你係一個好人。」。這句話背後真正的意思是:「我唔會同你一齊」,狠狠的被判死刑。251Please respect copyright.PENANAtb6U5sJ77U
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當初人們用「好人」去包裝,以為可以將拒絕這一回事對男生的傷害減低,以為男生會為著自己的讚美而釋懷,更重要的是不想被冠上無情地拒絕他人的污名。以「好人」為理由,這樣一來,大家都有下台階。然而,被稱為好人,比直接聽到女生說「我唔會鐘意你」更加難受。251Please respect copyright.PENANAAOLR229nmp
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如果我是那個收到「好人卡」的男生,我會想,為什麼我是一個好人,你卻要拒絕我?難道好人也有錯嗎?拒絕一個人,實在沒有必要冠冕堂皇。251Please respect copyright.PENANAexOZ2Ddqfa
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被稱讚「好人」不是一件光彩的事。251Please respect copyright.PENANAoglTwQzuio
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想到Joe這樣常常為大家提供Source,如此的博愛,也很難避免被稱呼為「好人」。想想那些詞窮的女同學,收到source時,大概會覆個「thx」。受了人家的恩惠,總不能只覆三個英文字母,於是多打一句,「你真係好人喇」,再加個雙手合十的emoji,這樣的回覆就好像跟自己收到的source對等。251Please respect copyright.PENANAE4qRL1wuhH
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想起Joe收到一而再,再而三的「稱讚」,大概也很無奈吧,儘管這跟談戀愛沒有關係。在那些為求source的女同學心目中,他是一個好人,一個派source的好人。想到這裡,我突然有點幸災樂禍。251Please respect copyright.PENANAIZZJQeNt0Q
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「哈哈。」我回覆Kenneth。251Please respect copyright.PENANAh2hrUh8Ebe
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「個個都以為佢好social。」Kenneth回覆。251Please respect copyright.PENANATy5DDND4gN
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我心想,Kenneth常常說他有好多朋友,而他也展示出三寸不爛之舌,跟任何人都可以聊得開,他至少比起我跟Kenneth social吧。251Please respect copyright.PENANAALbuT0T46Z
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「佢唔係咩?」我問。251Please respect copyright.PENANAbIRofyW6t1
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「未識佢之前,我以為佢都係果啲鐘意周圍yo人嘅人。其實佢唔係大家想像咁鍾意social。」251Please respect copyright.PENANA9xYf8VOQ9T
「點都好,佢係我好好嘅朋友。」腦海出現Kenneth真誠的樣子。251Please respect copyright.PENANALnEcILviGr
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「好羨慕你有個咁好嘅朋友。」我回覆。251Please respect copyright.PENANAF4tomp0u5J
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「佢都係你朋友黎。」Kenneth回覆。251Please respect copyright.PENANAX60DzkVTS0
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「唔知呢,佢咁多朋友。」251Please respect copyright.PENANA6DGO8bD01x
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「佢多朋友好似同你係咪佢朋友冇衝突啵。」251Please respect copyright.PENANARjqzNcqqhr
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「都係。」251Please respect copyright.PENANAacEwdvhnPM
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不知從何時開始,當知道自己的朋友有其他朋友,或是認識了新的朋友,就像自己的心分了一角,不知所蹤。無論如何大方,都是隱隱若若有種若有所失的感覺。251Please respect copyright.PENANABnLTOED7wp
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人們想要知道自己在別人心中的位置,可能是想知道自己投入的時間是否對等,或是想知道自己投放的感情是否值得。如果,我只是Joe朋友裡面的其中一個,那麼,他去認識朋友,我又有什麼資格去猜度?而我,是否也對等的把他當作是朋友中的其中一個?251Please respect copyright.PENANAbNl4LihTGZ
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Joe,人緣很好,為人也很細心,很重視朋友,只是偶爾裝出一副不在乎的樣子,偶爾講話比較直接、不羈。他不愛打卡,不喜歡抽煙,他也會覺得無聊。251Please respect copyright.PENANAhjxvX98Lzy
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其實在Joe的心裡,我是一個怎樣的角色?或者,在他云云的朋友當中,我可能只是當中的一個。251Please respect copyright.PENANAf3SGR73IMb
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Joe或許也會約其他女生外出,比起Joe WhatsApp裡面的其他女仔,我只係最普通嘅一個。回想起他總愛滴滴噠噠的按著手機,應該是在回覆那排山倒海的訊息。251Please respect copyright.PENANAmVZg3JBerR