I shiver. It’s getting colder; Clev and I need to get back to camp. Alton is going to kill me if I stay in the dark. He knows why. Well, I know why also, but not important right now. I just can’t be alone with the nightmares in the dark. That’s what’s important.
Well, so is finding Regina. But that’s not what we’re trying to do right now; well, I’m not trying to do it.
Clev and I start back to camp. It’ll be time to face the nightmares soon, but not right now. Not until necessary. As Lorela used to say, you can’t let people see you cry. It only makes them think you’re weak.
*Flashback*
A young Naidia is walking into the library, looking for her sister Lorela. She sees Lorela hiding behind a bookshelf, sitting on a chair reading a letter. She sees Lorela is crying, and goes to investigate.
“Lore-Lore, why are you crying?” asks Naidia.
“Naid, I might have to go away for a while. Ben will still be here, and I’ll try to write to you. I might not see you for a while, but I’ll be back. I promise,” says Lorela.
“Where are you going?” asks Naidia.
“I have to go do some Guard Captain stuff, alright sweetie,” says Lorela.
“Why do you have to go?”
“I have to go fight some bad guys, to help our country. I’ll be back, so don’t worry. I’ll have to leave soon, but I know I’ll see both of you again. Take care of Clever, alright?” says Lorela.
“Alright.”
They sit like that for a few minutes, with Lorela trying to remove traces of tears, while Naidia hugs her. Then, someone opens the library door. Ben. He sees the two girls, one sitting on the others lap, hugging her. He starts walking towards them, and, once he reaches them, picks Naidia up off of Lorela’s lap and takes one of Lorela’s hands.
Ben mutters something in German into Naidia’s ear.
“Can you say that in English?” asks Lorela.
“Be still. It’s alright,” he says. “Who’s the letter from? Or, more importantly, what’s it about?”
“It’s a notice. Woodhollow and Redwater have gone into a war. They want me to be one of the leaders. I just don’t know if I can do this. I’ll lose my mind trying to do this, but I have to fight.”
“You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars?”
“But I don’t. The fact that I’d be leaving Naid and you, well, and Alton, I just don’t want to. I’ve barely known Naidia for 2 years; if I die, I’ll have barely known her. Ben, you’re my brother, I’d never leave you. Not in the slightest chance. And Alton, well, he’s been my partner and friend through all of this. He’s 5 years older than Naidia, so..I don’t want him to go through this war.”
“I know that, but you have to fight for Redwater. I’ll take care of Naidia, you don’t need to worry. I can take care of myself. Alton..won’t he be in battle with you?”
“Nope. Too young.”
“Well than. He can take care himself, and he can come over anytime.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Naidia moves a bit and yawns.
“She’s small for a 12 year old,” says Lorela.
“She really is. Like a small 5 year old.”
“She’s 12 years old..shouldn’t that be a problem??”
“It really should.”
Silence.
*Flashback end*
Lorela. She wanted to keep Alton from going to the war. Look where that got her. I did barely know her, seeing as I knew her for 2 years of my life. Ben would be Ben. The same German-speaking, Swelvornsky-born, guitar-playing brother I’ve known for almost 3 years. He taught me how to play the violin. Lorela taught me how to write songs. Alton taught me how to swordfight.
Leon taught me how to steal. He taught me how to lockpick. He taught me that love might just be a thing of fiction, but that I could love. Even after Lorela died, and I had spent most nights crying myself to sleep, not wanting to even go to sleep, he had told me I could love.
*Flashback*
Naidia is up in a tree, with Leon looking up at her from the ground. Naidia has a look of pain and worry on her face, while Leon just looks concerned for his friend.
“Naidia, come down. I’ve barely seen you!” yells Leon.
“No!”
“Naidia, come on! Why are you even up there?”
“Because I can. Because I want to be away from humanity.”
“Well, you’re not going to get far away from humanity up there. Anyone can climb up there if they wanted to.”
“Then I’ll just climb higher!”
“Naid, stop it. You know Lorela’s dead, and you know you still have Ben. You have no sense in trying to get away from here, you know it’s no use.”
“But I could! If I could get away from here, then maybe I could be happy!”
Leon starts climbing up the tree, while Naidia starts climbing up the tree even more. When Leon sees that she has nowhere to run, he takes her hand and starts pulling her down the tree.
“Leon! Let go of me!”
“I’m not going to. If I did let go of your hand, you would fall to your death.”
“Fine.” Silence. “Leon, please don’t make me head back to the village. I don’t want to see them; it’ll only make me feel worse about life. I miss Lorela, I really do, and I don’t think any amount of sympathy from them will make it better. I don’t think I’ll love someone like I loved Lorela. I barely knew her, which is why..just..”
“Naidia, it’s alright. I won’t make you go back to the village, but Ben will want to know where you are.”
Silence. They keep climbing down the tree, with Leon guiding Naidia back down. Once they get back down, Leon still doesn’t let go of Naidia, instead sitting her down on a blanket.
“Naidia..you know you’ll be able to love again..right?”
“Leon, I’ve hurt my friends and loved my enemies..the way you love me seems so unreal.”
“They never said it would be this hard, did they?”
“No one, ever, including Lorela. No one ever said it would be this hard.”
“No one ever anticipates that it’d be this hard.”
“I might go back to Swelvornsky, Leon. I just don’t know. Maybe later, when I’m older, I’ll come up to meet you, tell you I’m sorry. “
“I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“Take me back to the beginning of this, Leon. When we barely knew each other.”
“I don’t think anything has changed. You’re still a misfit and I’m a thief.”
“I’ll come back as I am. Coming back as we are.”
“A misfit?”
“Maybe. I just don’t know. Remember what Lorela told us? That we were just heads on a science apart?”
“Yep. She’s dead now, and that will be one of my best memories of her.”
“Nothing ever happens like you imagine it will. I thought she would live.”
“Well, this is confusing.”
“What?”
“This is. This just feels like a maze.”
“Well, at some point we all look up and realize that we are lost in a maze.”
“True. Very true.”
*Flashback End*
Just because you promise to be different in the future doesn’t change what you’ve done in the past-Lynx. Lynx..I miss her.
Gravity has held me down in this starless city over the years.
We don’t normally interrogate people.
All quotes that apply to me. I, truthfully, have never interrogated someone. Well, not on purpose. Maybe I’ll get to interrogate someone. Maybe not.
“Naidia, you there?” asks Alton.
Well, what have I been doing? Oh, yes..finding food for Clev. Alton doesn’t know I was doing that. Great.. he’s going to wonder where I was. I don’t need him to worry, much less need him to find out about my thoughts.
Besides, I need to stop dwelling on this. I need to know how I can deal with the nightmares.
ns 15.158.61.48da2
