You’re stupid.
Now why would you believe that instantly? Why do you run that comment around in your head until it’s burnt into the inside of your skull? Why does it take so much more to believe you’re beautiful, and funny… that you’re worth the effort?
I’m sick of those random comments “I just want you to know you’re beautiful” all over social media. It’s like eating something that’s so sweet it makes your tongue hurt. Because that comment means jack shit.
But if someone leaves “you’re an idiot” in the comments section of a post you made you’re instantly offended. You develop this fear that everyone thinks that. You go to google images or tumbler and scroll through quotes hoping you can find your self-worth in those meaty sentences. But still, some stranger’s words mean more than they should.
I’m not going to say “don’t care what others think,” because you have to. You have to make it out of your bedroom into the outside world. You have to care. Because otherwise you’ll miss the sunshine turning the rain into dancing light. You won’t make connections, you won’t make the leap of trust and commitment because well, you don’t care. And if you actually think it through.668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEVInS2Q3W
You’re lying.668Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT13cShQovQ
You simply cared too much that to self-preserve your head space you turned it off. You slunk back into your bedroom and closed the door. To everything. You put up walls and you’re keeping everything out – not just the arrows flying at your archers. But also the allies marching up the hill to defend you and restock your depleted resources. You stop caring, you stop living. You survive… but you’re not very happy about it.
You base your worth off external factors. You compare, contrast, modify. You have role models and people you think “I could never be like that.” Both are important to grow and develop into the person you are. Both make you, you. Don’t despair. Grow.
Caring is also letting go.
It’s saying I care enough about me, and them – that in order to remain sane we must go our separate ways. You will cry. You will bang your head against the wall and demand the voices, memories and hopes in your head to shut up and leave me alone! Because you care. You want to be happy. But I can tell you now, your identity is so much more complex than the person you’re dating. Than your family. Then your hobbies and skills. Than your personality. Don’t focus on one point and think your life over. Get up. And combat that sound ringing in your ears. Those words that are lying to you.
“You’re worthless.”
Combat this thought with the memories of accomplishments, whether that be getting a job, finishing school, being able to recite a song inside out. Remember the people who love you, care about you, want you. Of people who when you call them they will come. Tell that voice in your head that you care. That you are worth more than its' comments.
And still. If you look at your life and think cricket chirps than open your bedroom door. And make for yourself memories. Relationships. Hopes. Dreams. If you’re reading this you can read. That’s an accomplishment. You can think. You can feel. Your body is so intricate, so incredible that scientists with more degrees than hair is confounded by it. Google it. I dare you.
You’re not stupid. You are actually quite a masterpiece. So stop treating it like a second hand school bag. Because you’re made to be so much more.
~Scriptor
ns 15.158.61.8da2
