Good morning, Isa, my dearest. It's pretty cold out here, isn't it?...
Surprisingly, the nobles running these burial grounds still remembered me.
But, I suppose this visit is long overdue.
I don't even know where to start...
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Firstly, I'm not sure how to properly say this, but I could not protect Zuo, and I don't think he will be seeing you in the afterlife. He made it past eight years old, but his own power claimed his life at ten. It puzzles me to this day how unexpected it was. I left one day, and when I came back, he was just... gone. But not just him.
Our entire estate and the surrounding area was reduced to a crater in the ground.
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The Director says he witnessed it himself. That at least 23 other people lost their lives in the blast. For a long time I couldn't forgive myself for that, thinking "I should have been there," and it seemed as though the world around me couldn't forgive me either. I had even forgotten your faces and the expressions they wore. So, I figured the least I could do was bury what was left of our son. "It's only natural," I thought, slipping back into the clutches of my old self.
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But that's how I ended up at the Lilac family's manor, and there, I met Rai, the boy who opened my eyes. He is so much like Zuo that I actually used to see him in Rai without realizing it. I pushed him away for that, and yet he forgave me, even dedicating himself to my cause and smiling all the while. At that moment, I finally realized that I had forgotten something:
You and Zuo were the same way.
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During our good times, you smiled. During our hard times, you smiled. When you gave birth to our beautiful baby boy, you smiled, telling me to take care of him as your life slowly slipped away.
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You would have been so proud of him. He loved a good read, had a natural knack for creative arts, and even began walking the path towards becoming an exorcist. Zuo was a genius. But even so, he was a lot more like you than he ever could have been like me. From the moment he opened his violet-colored eyes and looked into mine, I was the only one still crying. He was a lot stronger than his dad, always smiling and opting to make the best out of everything.
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And even though Rai himself is hurting, and even though I want him to learn how to live his own life, he makes me proud. I'll honor you both and follow his example by never disrespecting or forgetting the memories you have left me with again.
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Looking back on all this, the answer should have been clear from the very beginning. I was just too caught up in my own misery to begin putting the pieces together.
The next step I take in this beautiful, unpredictable world you've shown me will be towards the truth.
Please continue to watch over me.
I'll see you later, my dear.
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