The rain doesn’t help the hollowness she feels. Not hollow but empty. Not empty but void. Void, that's what she feels. The argument she just lost has left her emotionally drained and she questions whether she can feel at all. That's what he had said. The man she had vowed to have and to hold six months ago.
"You wouldn't know what love is even if it grabbed you by the heart."
His words do more than hurt her, they knock her off her feet. That's why she was still folded on the floor at the base of their bed. He had long left the house. To where, she didn't know. She didn't know if he would be back either. She almost believed him then, almost. But she did know love…does in fact, just not for him. She's in trouble the moment she lets her thoughts run to him. Pain she doesn't deserve to feel tightens her chest and makes her airway smaller and smaller. She's sobbing, gasping for air the next instant. Her head pounds, her vision blurs. She's no longer in her bedroom. Painful memories teleport her to that night. She's in comfortable clothes so she can flee when she needs to. She opens the door to his car parked in a deserted parking lot. He's happy to see her, completely oblivious that she's holding a sledge hammer behind her back. That she's gonna aim right for his heart in a few minutes.
"I'm getting married." she says before he can even greet her.
His face contorts, eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"You're not making any sense babe,"
She understands his confusion. If she was going to marry anybody it should have been him. She loved him after all. Not just loved him, she was him and he was her. If they moved, they moved together. If they breathed, they breathed the same breath. So she understands why he thinks she's crazy, or joking, or crazy…or crazy.
"In three months," she follows up with.
He realizes she's serious and the energy in the car changes completely. Tension tries to suffocate her and she reaches for the door handle. He's quicker than her and his hands are on hers in an instant. His grip pleads, begs her to make sense. To laugh and tell him she was joking. But she doesn't. She blinks away tears and shakes his hand off. She gets out of the car and sprints to her own car at the other end of the parking lot. Her heart hammers in her chest, as if it wants to claw its way out of her and remain with him. She wants to, but she can't. She wants to, but she doesn't.
She’s shaking out of the memory with a violent crack of thunder and crawls to the bedside table for her phone. Her legs couldn't be trusted just yet. Her limbs still feel like cooked noodles, but she manages to get to her phone. She doesn't know what she's doing, he probably wouldn't even answer but she dials anyway.
***
The rainy night meets him in the biting cold on his veranda watching the rain drops angrily assault the ground. He's transfixed by it, so transfixed that for a few moments he's not in pain. Physical or otherwise. He's resting a sprained wrist on the arm rest of his patio chair. An ice pack is slung over it but he barely registers it. Like most things anymore, they don't matter.
On nights like these, he sits with his thoughts and rehashes it all. How he could have stopped her, what he could have done better. What he should have done in revenge, to him…to her. It doesn't matter and shouldn't matter but she's in his thoughts night after night. He can't be rid of her, no matter what he does or who he does. There's no remedy for her. She's under his skin, inside his head and tattooed on his arm. What can he do? Him and pain are old friends anyway.
He almost misses it, with the noise of the rain against the roof but fate is a sick fuck and he hears his phone vibrate on the kitchen counter. Usually he would let it ring but some unknown force draws him to the kitchen. He looks down at the ID and thinks he had finally snapped. He had to be hallucinating her call. But it was real, he picks up the phone and looks down at the vibrating device. In his head he throws the phone across the room and it smashes into pieces upon contact with the living room wall but when he blinks he's still standing paralyzed in the kitchen holding the device. His chest hurts as an eternity seems to pass with the ringing phone. He can't help it, can't help himself when it comes to her. He answers. Doesn't say anything, just breathes over the phone.
"You there?" Her voice is soft and melodic just like he remembers. He's almost brought to his knees when he hears her voice after so long. He can tell immediately that she's been crying and just like old times, he's ready to kill for her.
"What do you want?" He manages to say. He wants to sound tough and stern but he knows how it comes out 'what do you need? Tell me and I'll bring it to you plus the stars and the moon.'
"I need you." she says. She hangs up because she knows he will come. He doesn't need to call back for directions because he's always known where she lived...well they lived. He's just never had the fight in him to go to her. Not before tonight, he was invited after all.
***
She hears when the door opens and closes. Only he would be so brazen as to not knock or call for her. She heard him padding around trying to find her so she opens the bedrooms door to alert him to her location. He takes the stairs two at a time from what she hears. It's too late to regret her decision because he's in her doorway when she looks up. The room becomes charged with electricity. Her eyes hadn't had the pleasure of laying upon him in almost six months. She drinks him in like she had a right to when she really didn't. He walked in the rain, his black t-shirt clings to him like a second skin. She sees his ever-pounding heart rising and falling under his clothed chest. His eyes follow hers like a prey in the hunt.
Soon it's his turn and she feels his eyes rake over her. From her red tone nails to her short silk night gown. She suddenly feels self-conscious as she lost ten pounds since getting married. Is she even attractive to him anymore? No words are spoken because they communicate with just their eyes. He knows what she called him for and she knows why he came- to make a mistake. He crosses the room to her and covers her lips with his. He sucks the breath right out of her and she can't fathom how she had gone this long without this high. She gasps loudly but he swallows it with his smouldering kiss.
His lips punishes her and heals her at the same time.
She tastes like molten lava to him, just as he remembers, soft and yearning. Once he gets a taste he cannot stop. He pulls her to him and she clings on for dear life. She's here in his arms but he still misses her, he still wants more. He pushes her up against the closest wall he can find and traps her between the wall and his taunt chest. She's not going anywhere and he doesn't think she wants to. He wastes no time and refamiliarizes himself with the curves and contours of her body. He checks to see if skimming his fingers between her thighs makes her moan the same way and is pleased to find that it does. A cocky smirk ghosts over his lips because he knows for a fact no other man can play the symphony that is her body like he can. She tiptoes off the ground to meet his lips hungrily like he's an oasis and she's been in a desert for six months. Her legs wrap around his waist and it becomes scary how much he needs to be with her-wants her.
Panic lingers in the back of her mind, her husband can return at any moment but it stays in the back of her mind especially when he trails kisses down the side of her neck that makes her want to come undone every second longer he stays. He sucks and nibbles and bites, each eliciting a louder moan from her. She can't take it anymore, feels like she will combust if she doesn't have him inside her and unhooks her legs from around his waist and walks backwards until his legs hit the back of her bed. She collapses on top of him in a tangle of limbs but they soon regain their footing when he flips them and towers over her. She arches her back off the bed because she's not sane until she feels him against her.
He's all the way fucked up and knows that the longer he stays here with her the more pain it will inflict on him after, when the fog clears. But she gripping at him like she needs him and making all the sounds he loves to hear and he knows he's gonna fuck her in the bed she shares with her husband.
Fuck him too.
He can't help himself any more than she can. Tomorrow can bring them more pain but tonight, a night like this, it all seems worth it. 282Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWJ7FRL7Pd
