They say, there is nothing in wasted thing. It's has no meaning at all. Just happened and went like nothing really necessary. 194Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbVBrXT3O7
I saw that dream again today. In that wasted time, i dreamed the life that wasted like when you eat a delicious junk food. You thought it is tasty in your mouth, but will became nothing but an eaten things inside your body.
In that dream, i was high-schooler. At some point of our life, you are a student in a normal school with nothing going on. Except, something happen and you are outside of that interesting side of daily life.
I saw myself go to class, having a lesson, and then talk to my close friends after school. Never really paying attention to the homeroom session at all. Spent the money my parent give to rent a comic book and not focusing on the lesson at school. Joining club for my own stress-reducing sake, rather than for my own future sake.
As the result, my grade was not so good. I am satisfied at that time. I was happy with that. Close friend being same like usual, but each of one of them has their own issue. Am i have an issue? i forgot.
Why i felt stressed that made me joined the marching band club? Yeah, the classmate was so annoying. Last time i remember, there was one that already married last year. The invitation came to me but whatever.
Same dream again. I open my eyes and ceiling up above me. Bad thought and having a responsibility that can't be shared to your busy parent. Every time i would, they gonna give me their youth time story, that i don't really need for my own. I knew their intention is good but still, it's can't be like that.
Now thinking again about that wasted dream, was it have a meaning at all? And why that was so profound that made me sometimes feel a slight relieve that i can't explain with word?
"You know, that's mean you are glad that it happened"
I went with my close friend today for a drink. We talked about our relationship with our own's girl from earlier and that was his responses to my story.
Linking what he said to me just now and this feeling that swelled up inside my heart... I look outside the bar that has a transparent mirror beside me.
Outside is always rainy in my mind, even though today is slightly cloudy. If there is a word to express my wasted dream, whether you attach a meaning to it or not...
Yeah, It has to be melancholy. I sigh slowly and enjoying the mood the rain that soon will pour down, would bring.
At very least, it will soothes the pain in my chest.
"It has a meaning, that's for sure", softly i added to my close friend's sentence. I find myself smile with a little, bitter smile.
Somewhere, i feel relieved.
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