I watched as the sea splashed against the rocks and hung my head down low. I could only think about him. all the time, he is the only one I could think about.
"hey, you okay?"
I looked up to find George staring at me.
"I can’t stop thinking about him."
as soon as those words left my head, I felt guilty. that was his brother, he may know why he did it, he may know my secret. where they close? I started internally hyperventilating as I thought of the possibilities of my childhood friend and teen sweetheart knowing about the being that grew inside me. I had to ask, for the protection of my son. of his son.
"where you and him..." I was rudely interrupted by George. "no, we weren't close. I loved him but we had not talked in years after our falling out all those years ago. and don't bother asking what it was about." he says dismissively as I nodded knowingly as I remembered him telling me about the gruesome argument that broke out between the two men at a wedding they both attended close to seven years ago.
"I already know. he told me about the fight. the one at the weeding." George looked at me with surprise and what seems like anger.
"did he tell you what it was about." he looks out to the blue abyss, as if avoiding my gaze. I shook my head, not quite able to remember my husband telling me what it was about. "he just said a girl the two of you were both in love with." I waved it away at the time but now I became curious. they were so close as children and made a promise to each other that a woman would never get between them. now I am curious.
who was the woman who was able to tear the two brothers apart? who hurt their relationship? how? why?
I was startled by a sudden loud bark of laughter during such a quite sad and thoughtful moment. there beside me was dearest George, holding his stomach as he attempted to get air into his lungs.
"you’re really blind, aren’t you?" I shook my head as he continued to laugh, much to my embracement. "I beg your pardon; I have perfect vision."
I tried to understand my old friend’s amusement, but I gave up and began walking away.
as I turned to walk away, he pulls me by my arm. back into the embrace I have missed for the past twelve years, since he left to study abroad when we were younger.
I did not know how to react. I did not know how to react as he breathed my scent in, as he kissed the top of my head, as he turned me around and gazed deep into my eyes, as he leaned in, as he cupped my scared skin in his sweet caress.
I did know something though. when his lips meet mine, it was as though I was on cloud nine, it was like I was home. and in a way I was.
"it was you. I have loved you since we were children and I was a fool to ever let you go just because you became pregnant."
and as the sun set in the distant, in the embrace of my first love. I finally said goodbye to my husband and my son's stepfather.
"what is his name, my love?" George asked about our son.
"James"
"after his uncle and step-father. May the man rest in peace."
ns 15.158.61.21da2
