The air was chilly, I was walking up to the coffee shop where I was suppose to meet Bella. I felt a lot of different things, anger, excitement, curious but most of all I was nervous. I don't know what to expect with our little reunion but I was sure there would be a lot of explaining to do and questions to be answered. I stepped inside and scanned the tables, there she was at the far corner of the shop looking out in the window. Her phone beside her and a mug wrapped in her fingers. I walked slowly, more like cautiously studying her figure. Her head turned and came eye to eye contact with me instantly, I held my breath. Bella nodded motioning me to sit down on the chair opposite her and I did.419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFj2iRo1Fn
"What would you like? My treat" Bella smiled warmly at me
"Iced coffee would be nice" even though it was a bit cold, I'm a sucker for iced coffee no matter the weather.
"Anything to eat?" Bella asked standing up
"Anything sweet, you know me" I looked up at her straight in the eye. She nodded and headed to the counter. I looked out in the window, memories flooding back. Memories of our times together and things that went wrong. After five minutes Bella came back with the tray and handed me the contents, after being settled she sat down and took a sip of her drink. I was too nervous to talk so I waited for her to finish.
"So, how are you? The last thing I heard about you is when you graduated college together with the rest of the group" Bella started
"Yes, I did. After that damn thesis was over everything went smoothly. I met a lot of friends along the way" I took a bite of the chocolate chip muffin she bought me "How about you Bella? Or should I say Ella? Since when did you arrive back?"
Bella smiled "A few days ago and please, call me Jella because that's the way you used to call me Nikola"
I took a sip of my drink to calm my nerves. Being called Nikola again was nostalgic. "I never understood why you call me that it's really far from my name, anyways so... what brings you back here? And why see me?"
Jella took a deep breath "I know I have hurt you in the past and I just can't imagine the pain you must have gone through"
I rolled my eyes and kept silent for her to continue "I want to make it up to you, to be friends again. I know what I did can't change the past but that doesn't mean I can make things right again" Jella looked at me with a regrettable expression her brown eyes growing deep with emotion.
"You broke my heart" I stated simply
"Yes. I did, and I'm really sorry, That's why I'm-" I interrupted her by raising a finger
"That heart break changed me big time. You were my first in everything, my first kiss, first love, first person to ever have s*x with hell! You even met my family but as far as they know you were my best friend not my girlfriend" I could feel my anger rising but I have to keep calm or I may lose it
"Yes, I know but-" Jella started again
"Did you know how long I suffered from that shitty heart break? A year! even more than that! It was difficult enough when we were in school we were in the same class on some subjects and I had to see you and pretend like nothing ever happened, I had to pretend you were my friend. It was killing me inside seeing you so happy when you got back with your ex! You used me as a rebound and I was too blind to see it because I fell for you so hard you had no idea I would do anything for you just to stay in my life"
I paused to catch my breath looking at Jella with a sour expression.
"I begged you to come back, come back to me and the way we used to be but it never happened. I invited to dates and you declined each one. I wrote you letters just like what you did to me at the start when we were still friends. I visited you in your house and you made me go home because we had nothing to talk about. It felt as if my life was falling apart, I couldn't eat well, I couldn't sleep because every time I close my eyes you haunt me in my dreams and I wake up crying. I was a mess, spending all my time in my room alone and damn it! I would buy liquor and while drinking scratch myself with a sharp pair of scissors just to feel the pain physically. It was very difficult for me and you have no idea"
I stopped catching my breath again, tears were beginning to cloud my vision but I blinked them away. Releasing all the emotions, I felt light, I looked at Jella, a tear escaping her left eye, she wiped it instantly with the back of her hand. I unclenched a fist I didn't know formed in my right hand, I guess with all the emotion I hadn't noticed. "I'm sorry, I got a little carried away" I managed to say looking at my fingers.
"It's okay, I completely understand and I have some explaining to do" Jella straightened up, an unreadable expression on her face
"First of all, I want to say sorry for all the pain that I caused you, you're right, I have no idea what you have been through. Yes, I used you as a rebound because things for me and Ruby weren't working out. Don't get me wrong, I did love you Nikola, I loved you in my own way and I still do. I wrote you letters saying how much I care about you, how much I think about you, and every letter I wrote I always made sure I had the words I love you to let you know that I really do. I welcomed you in my home, you've met the most important person in my life and that was my grandmother. You've met my siblings and small cousins, I cooked for you and your family, for me to be accepted but you were too afraid to let your parents know the real you and to know about us.
At first I know you were hesitant with my letters but eventually you opened up, you also made me letters and I appreciated every. single. one. But as time passed by and so did we, you became possessive of me, you wanted every ounce of my attention, you became greedy of me. I know me and Ruby had a past and yes I admit we celebrated birthdays and fiestas together, there were times she was at our house spending time with the kids and also with me, at first I really tried to avoid it because I knew it would hurt you but with the way you were treating me, I thought I moved on with Ruby but I didn't, maybe I was also carried away by my feelings for her that's why I started to distance away from you. . . . . because I was falling for Ruby again"
I held my breath, I felt guilty because all she said was true. I did change over time when we were together and it had a negative impact, every time I knew she was with Ruby it did hurt a lot and I felt confused because it was like I was her girlfriend but she was hanging out with her ex. I became very jealous with their closeness and as a result I acted very needy she had to take some time away from me. I looked at my fingers then on Jella, my heart was pounding and my head was spinning a bit with all these revelations.
"I think this is gonna be a long night, do you mind taking a stroll?" Jella asked, a small smile on her face because she knew how I love walks.
"Sure, let's sort this through" 419Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIaOYG95v2
