Russell came home from school to find his mother watching TV in the family room. He announced his arrival and headed for his room, but his mother called him over.
"We need to talk."
Her harsh voice sent Russell into a panic. Swallowing, he took a hesitant step into the family room. "What about?"
"Your future. Sit down."
Russell cautiously walked over to the chair next to the couch and, after setting his backpack on the floor, sat.
"You got another letter in the mail, this time from Stanford."
Russell held his breath, hoping beyond hope-
"They rejected you." His mother gave him a disappointed look, which Russell forced himself to match. But he cheered on the inside. Stanford was the only college in California he applied to. Now he'd have to leave the state, far away from his parents.
"That's every school. Every school you applied to, you didn't get into." His mother folded her arms across her chest. "Now what are you going to do with your life?"
"That's not every school," Russell said. "I've applied to others that accepted me."
"Except they're all public colleges out of state that anyone can get into. You're better than that."
It was true. But at least now he couldn't go to law school. He could follow his teaching dream, embarrassing as it was. Though Sal didn't find it embarrassing at all. Sal, who looked for any excuse to tease him. So maybe it wasn't. Maybe his parents would be okay with it.
His mom picked up the remote, and turned off the TV, facing him with a pinched expression. "How do you expect to be a lawyer, if you're stuck going to some nowhere university in Florida?"
Russell chewed his thumbnail, silent.
"This is probably because of that B you got in math freshmen year. And your SAT scores were terrible. I knew we shouldn't have let you hang out with that Sam boy the night before."
"Sal," Russell corrected, thumbnail still in mouth. Though she did have a point about his SAT scores, but he wouldn't call them terrible.
His mother rubbed the back of her neck, studying him for a moment before dropping her hand back down on her thigh. "You know what? We can fix this. You'll go to the local college, and work harder. Then you can move on to apply to Harvard."
"I didn't apply to the local college," Russell said.
A frown grew on his mother's face. "You applied to public colleges out of state, but none nearby?"
"No."
"Why wouldn't you? Now you'll have to spend extra money moving and staying in a dorm for the same education you would get here." His mother put her hand over her forehead, running it through her hair. "I can't believe how stupid you are, it's no wonder you didn't get into any good schools."
Russell flinched at her words, and suddenly wished he had gotten into one of those "good" schools.
"Your father and I expect better from you, after everything we've done. I sacrificed a career to spend all my time raising you, and this is how you repay me. By being a failure."
And she was right. Why else didn't any of the "good schools" accept him? What was worse was how relieved he felt whenever he got a rejection letter.
"I swear, you always screw everything up. Where's the closest school you got accepted to?"
"Oregon," Russell mumbled.
"You'll go to that one then. And transfer to Harvard afterward. Then you'll be a lawyer."
He had been close. So close to getting out of his parents' dream. But his mother was dead set on it. Sal thought he'd be a terrible lawyer, and a great teacher. The more he thought of being a lawyer, the more he didn't want to do it. He'd rather teach a classroom of students the purpose behind symbolism. And make them all read Dracula for Halloween. There could be a discussion on how such a classic book influenced the horror genre. Russell suppressed a grin that his mother caught and misinterpreted.
"See, sweetie. It'll all work out in the end. You'll do great. You're a great kid."
Russell wanted to point out that she had just called him stupid and a failure, but last time he did he got yelled at for lying. And he didn't want her to go back to berating him.
He also didn't want to be a lawyer. He wanted to lead a class discussion on vampires. To get paid to lead a class discussion on vampires. Had he ever even come up with discussion questions and homework assignments for Dracula? How could he not have by now?
He had to teach. Sal wanted him to. Sal would want him to put his foot down.
Russell swallowed, and wrapped his fingers around his thumb to keep it away from his mouth. "I thought of a better option."
"And what's that?" his mother asked.
"I could not be a lawyer."
She stared at him for a moment, rubbing her chin. "That's not a bad idea."
"Really?"
She nodded. "There's other high-paying jobs out there. How about a doctor? I think you'd make a great doctor."
"A doctor?" Russell would rather be a lawyer.
"You could go to the college in Oregon, and move on to med school. You'll have a better chance at Stanford then."
"I don't want to be a doctor. I was thinking... I could be a teacher."
"A teacher?" Her hand flew to her chest. "Why would you want to do that?"
"It's what I've always wanted to do."
"No, you always wanted to be a lawyer."
"No, you always wanted me to be a lawyer." Russell raised his voice. "I've always wanted to be a teacher, so I'm going to be a teacher."
"Don't talk back to me!"
"Sorry," Russell said quickly.
His mother ignored his apology. "Teachers don't make enough. You need a job that pays well." Her face softened, along with her voice. "I only want what's best for you. Being a teacher-"
"Is what's best for me." Russell held his chin high. "I'm going to be a teacher."
"And how can you support your future wife on that salary?"
"I'm sure my future spouse will be working too."
"And what about your future children? Daycare is expensive. You'll barely make ends meet." His mother rested her forehead in her hand, burying her face in it. "I don't want my grandchildren growing up like I did. You know that already."
The last thing Russell wanted to listen to was his mother going on about her struggles as the poor kid. He focused his attention on the coffee table next to him. "Maybe I'll marry a lawyer."
"Russell..."
Even befriending a lawyer was something Russell couldn't imagine. He'd rather marry an underachiever like Sal than some snobby Harvard type. For a brief moment, he imagined being married to Sal.
"Wipe that smile off your face," his mother commanded, and Russell did. "I hope you've thought long and hard about this."
"I've thought of this my whole life. Jesus Christ!"
"Watch your language!" His mother turned away. "You know what? Go to your room. I've heard enough of this nonsense."
Russell grabbed his backpack, and slung it over his shoulder. "I'm going to be an English teacher!"
"Russell!"
But Russell stormed off to his bedroom, dropping his backpack and yanking his phone from his pocket. He flopped down on the floor with his back against the wall, and sent Sal a long-winded text.
Sal responded immediately.
You got in trouble for saying jesus christ?
Yes.
Your parents suck. Oregan doesn't sound bad though. Id rather live there than the east coast
Good, you can move there.
With you?
Not this again. Russell banged the back of his head against the wall in frustration.
I'm not in the mood for that conversation.
Sorry what are you gonna do?
I don't know. I just wish you were here.
Did you tell her teachers teach lawyers?
Russell tossed his phone aside. Of course he forgot that counterargument. His eyes fell on the bottom shelf of his bookcase where several notebooks laid, and he grabbed one. Along with a pen from his pencil cup. He sat back down against the wall and flipped through his detailed notes on every classic book he had read. On the first blank page, he wrote everything he could remember about Dracula and its themes. For when he became an English teacher.
Russell was ready to delve into its homoerotic undertones when his father opened the door without knocking. Which meant Russell was in a lot of trouble. He closed his notebook, shuddering.
"What is this nonsense I'm hearing from your mother about you wanting to be a teacher?"
"It's what I've always wanted to be."
"Why?"
Because he spent his free time making up school assignments, for start. And being able to share his knowledge. The possibility of making a difference in someone's life. Forcing people to read his favorite classics. The reasons all came to his head, but wouldn't come out of his mouth.
"Teaching isn't something people want to do. It's something people who fail at their careers do as a backup plan."
"Not always," Russell mumbled to his notebook.
"They barely make anything. And have to take up odd jobs in the summer. Do you really want to spend every summer of your life trying to find a place that would hire you, knowing you'd have to quit as soon as school starts up again?"
"Teachers teach lawyers. If it weren't for teachers-"
"There's not a high demand for teachers either. They get laid off all the time. And do you really think you'll be good enough at teaching for someone to hire you?"
Russell hadn't thought of that. At all. Maybe it was a terrible idea. He stared down at his notebook- his notebook containing all the discussion questions and essay topics he came up with. Sal thought being a teacher was a good idea. But Sal made poor decisions regularly.
In a flash, his father snatched the notebook out of his lap. "What's this?"
Russell made a grab for it, but his father held it further out of reach. "It's stuff for school."
His father opened it. Russell's stomach fell further to the floor with each turning page.
"You've been taking notes on books you read?"
"It helps me understand them better."
His father squinted at the writing. "Possible homework assignment?"
Russell chewed his thumbnail.
"Students could write a 2-3 paged paper on the themes of-" His father glanced over the notebook at Russell. "Stop sucking your thumb!"
"Can I have it back? I need it."
"You've been wasting your time making up homework assignments?" He slammed the notebook shut. "This is the dumbest thing I've seen all year."
"It clears my head."
"Now I know why you keep getting bad grades. Wasting time making up homework instead of doing your own."
"I always do my homework."
"That you've been getting B's on." His father strode out of the room.
Russell followed. "I want my notebook back."
His father stopped and turned to face him. "Your notebook? Who paid for this?"
"I'm sorry. Can I have the notebook back?"
"No! Now go back to your room, and do something meaningful."
Russell slumped off to his room, trying to ignore the conversation his father started with his mother. "Lizzy, you won't believe what that kid has been doing."
"I guess I'll go to Oregon," Russell said to Sal. They stood outside the school building, which was out for the day. His father had been right. Teaching was a terrible option. He'd do what his mother suggested, and transfer to an Ivy League later. Instead of wasting his time making up homework assignments, he would spend more time making his actual assignments perfect.
"Are you going because you want to, or because your parents want you to?" Sal asked, leaning against the brick wall with his hands in his pockets. "You shouldn't make major life decisions based on what your parents want."
"And you shouldn't make major life decisions based on what I want."
"That's different. I'll be happy as long as I'm with you." Sal took Russell's hand in his. "Will you be happy doing what your parents want you to do?"
Russell had to admit he had a good point. But his parents had better points. "Oregon sounds like a nice place to live. And it'll be easier to move to. I can drive my car up there. I won't have to deal with flying."
"Sounds good." Sal shifted his backpack to his other arm. "I'll start searching for places there."
"Your optimism is cute." Russell squeezed Sal's hand, then released it. "But do you seriously think a high school relationship, ours specifically, would even last that long?"
"Of course." Sal reached for Russell's hand and kissed it. "You don't?"
Russell yanked his hand away. "No, I don't. And that's why you shouldn't follow me to another state. What do you plan on doing when we break up?"
"When we break up?" Sal raised his voice. "When we break up? You're convinced-"
"It happens to every high school couple out there," Russell spat. "We'll go the same way they all do."
"There's been exceptions-"
"Rare exceptions." Russell kicked at the concrete ground. Sal was so delusional, and he was going to screw up his entire future because of it. "I'm sorry, but I don't want you to do something stupid-"
"You think me wanting to stay with you is stupid? Because that's all I want. To be with you. But if you think that's so stupid, and we're gonna break up anyway, why are you wasting your time with me?"
"Because I like you. And I don't think it's a waste of time."
"You're sure acting like it." Sal spread his arms out. "Go on. Break up with me, if you think we're not gonna last."
Russell bit his lip. The mere thought of breaking up with Sal pierced his heart. "I'm not breaking up with you."
"Neither am I. But I want you to take our love more seriously from now on."
"Love?" If the situation weren't so heated, Russell would have laughed. "This isn't love. This is infatuation. There's a difference."
"I'm asexual!" Sal shouted.
"Romantic attraction!" Russell shouted back. "That's all this is."
Sal shoved him, the same way he did back in his bullying days.
Russell regained his balance. "What the hell?"
"Old times, Rusty Russell." Sal pushed him harder, enough for him to stumble over his heel and fall onto the grass. Sal glared at him, and stalked off.
Russell pushed himself up and, after brushing dirt off his pants, stormed off to his car.
ns 15.158.61.21da2
