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hey~! there's tea to be spilt, so, lemme get in to it.
okay, so on friday, it was not the best day for me and marie. we're not supposed to be dating right now because we live together. so, our fairy godxmother found out and i cried myself to sleep that night. it went from me and marie to bts to my step-mom. yep, yep, yep. i'm weird, i know. lemme lone. anyways. saturday, we went to barnes&noble because we're extra like that and i found a book that i like.
so, me and marie barely talked on saturday because i blamed myself for us being caught because she wrote my sweet notes and i accidently kept like three of them in my pocket of my kpop jeans. (they're kpop jeans because i've drawn kpop things on them and names and shit.) my stupid ass. but she wasn't mad at me. so, we're all good. yesterday, we went to barnes&noble again but with lovely and snickers again. snickers kept following me and marie but i didn't care that much. plus, i have my ways ;}
so, yesterday, this is how we moved around the state. the tower (our house), the cornerstone (lovely and snickers house), library, jimmy lee, the tower again, ice cream place, barnes&noble, the tower again, the annex (our church or whatever), then back to the tower. we did too much.
but guess wtf happened at the library. i was sort of irritated. i'm sorta kinda famous on twitter, no really, but a lot of people text me and worry about me when i leave twitter for a while. basically, my followers on twitter went down. i was like, what kind of bitch ass fuckery is this?! why are my followers going down!? then i saw this girl that i didn't like was following me and i was like....ew. so, i looked at her page and she said, "i need someone on twitter to be my girlfriend/boyfriend. i take both." and i couldn't help myself.
i commented on it. "girl, that's nasty." i'm mean sometimes, i know this. then i looked at the pictures she posted and i was like, icky. then i just left it there. i didn't follow her back and i follow almost everybody who follows me. anyways, then i went on instagram and i read the last message from my step-mom to me and i almost cried. i think she was mad at me. then i logged into my tiktok and i was being extra and watching my cringyness from 2020.
okay, so, when i first got taken away, i had a crush on this girl named kaylee. she had a best friend named olivia and another one named biance. basically, i didn't like biance because i like kaylee and bianca and kaylee were really close. i swear, they were dating but they said they weren't and that they weren't gay. so, i'm sitting here on tiktok and i come across kaylee's tiktok. guess what? KAYLEE AND BIANCE ARE FUCKING DATING! i mean, i have a girl friend but ti's the fact that they lied to me. it was so simple for kaylee to just say, 'i don't like you like that.'
but, no~! they lied to me. it really sucks, ya know? and then kaylee seemed jealous when i told her i liked someone else but it's fine. everything is fine because at the end of the day, i don't need her because i have a girlfriend. damn, i'm annoying. no, bunny is kind of annoying me today. at the tower, she dares to say she is going to leave me in america when she turns 18 and moves to south korea. like, no, bitch. i'm going with you.
so, i was irritated with her because of that. and then she gon' ignore me for no reason and now she wants to tell me about ginny and georgia like i gaf. i gave up on watching shows on netflix because she either spoils it or lies about what's going to happen. i've given up on the 100 a lot but i'm still watching it for some reason. oh, then on twitter my mom dared to send me a picture of my step-mom's urn with her ashes in it. i was so sad. I might be listening to 'twilight' over and over again. do not come for me.
i think i act ghetto and i sort of am ghetto because i was raised in the hood but i'm also, like, realy corny, cheesy, adorable. i guess. i can be really fucking ghetto but i just decide not to be. i can say that i talk like a white person, my mom being caucasian as fuck, she used to speak properly and now i talk properly. i've always talked properly because i'm not extra unless i'm angry or i need to be extra. my mom is masking herself and acting ghetto when she really is not ghetto. i see through that mask and i don't want to because it hurts to know that she fakes for people and to see that she is not the same person.
i would say like mother, like daughter but i'm nothing like my mom. like mother, like son. now, i can say that. i mean, my brother is okay but he does the same things as her. but i love his little ugly ass. do any of you know my real age, except for bunnie and coco? if you know my age, good for you because i've been trying to keep my age to myself. i just fangirled over 2018 yoongi. everything is fine, guys. i'm fine. no, i'm not. holy fuck, he's hot. NOW I'M ON JUNGKOOK LIFTING HIS SHIRT UP IN FAKE LOVE, OMG!
i've never really paid attention to the love scenario music video. damn, that sucks. i just cried to the serendipity music video. i'm okay, i cry a lot. not like anyone asked me but anyways. i painted my nails black. what was i thinking when i cut the short. i need my long nails back, omg. i need a lighter and no i don't smoke. it's to burn myself :} i fucking hate myself so much. i just realized.....how absolutely fucking ugly i am. holy shit, dude. i'm ugly. damn~ bunny is sometimes annoying. omg.
why won't these fucking staples go into a square, dammit! i'm hungry. don't you just love when someone asks if you can hold your liquor? bitch, i don't even think i spelled liqour right, do you really think i drink? i be trying to live peacefully and watch after and listen to blackpink and bunny always comes for me. just because i like that type of stuff. i like blackpink and she doesn't. i like romacne and shit, while she likes shit to be unholy and gore. like, damn, i don't come for you, don't come for me. like, if i treated you the way you treated me, you would hate me.
not me sorta kinda irritated. i'ma listen to bts and hope i don't get sad. i declare that i'm going to learn the dance to idol. yep, yep, yep. damn, jimin is fine. anyways, someone called the perident of amurica, joe biden, daddy. i said, bitch wtf. you nasty because that man is a child! omg, you cannot tell me that he does not like a child is this picture:
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okay, maybe not a lot but still. THAT MAN IS NOT DADDY, WTF! JUST BECAUSE HE IS GIVING HELLA PEOPLE ALL OVER AMERICA STIMULAS CHECKS, THAT DOES NOT MEAN HE IS YOUR DADDY NOR YOUR SUGAR DADDY! OH MY GOD, YOU NEED JESUS WHOEVER CALLS HIM DADDY UNLESS YOU'RE HIS ONLY SON LEFT ALIVE BUT I HOPE YOU DOES NOT CALL YOUR FATHER DADDY AND YOUR A GROWN ASS MAN IN THE MILITARY! BUT ANYWAYS, i mean-- Anyways...
omg, i'm crying over jungkook again. holy shit, i cry a lot. but that's what hoseok is for, to make me smile. omg, he's so cute and tiny but at the same, i'm fangirling over how hot he looks. omg, i need jesus. *screaming in holy fuck hoseok is so fine* i remember when my stupid ass rated him 2 stars when i first got into tbts. i read that peice of paper a few weeks ago and i looked at the book like bitch wtf? me remembering how sexy hoseok looked in his dior outfit. damn, i'm obsessed. but that's fine. everything's okay over here in america. not really but baby, i live under a rock unless it comes to netflix and kpop. other then that, i don't know shit.
sometimes i do miss watching cnn every day to know all the tea but now, i don't even know anything. that's okay because i already have too much to stress about. my mom is flying back to our state today and tomorrow i go to see her in person. kinda nervous because idk what to expect anymore. we used to do in-person meetings but we stopped because of my mom. now, we're doing it again. i just hope i don't get angry. lately, i've gotten angry so fast. lately, i've been so damn emotional and it's fucking weird. like, ew. who told my eyes to start supplying tears? the fuck?
i'm cold, wtf? omg~ what is the tempature? *looks it up cause i'm weird like that* it's 32 degrees outside. it's fucking cold, omg. i'm not mad i swear...i just feel like people don't understand me. people can be so ignorant and small-minded. does everyone really think i like bts just because of their looks? yes, bts is sexy, kpop groups are sexy. but that's not the only factor that i like kpop for. for some groups, it's because i like their music. for most of the gorups, it's because of their looks. but for almost every group, it's for their personailites and aura's.
like, me fangirling over bts doesn't mean i'm screaming in my head, saying, 'oh my fucking god, they're so sexy! holy shit!' like, no. maybe a little bit, yes. but everything is not all about looks. i like people for their personalities. not for their looks. is this girl pretty to me?:
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yes, but her personality is ugly in the show, therefore i did not like her. is this girl pretty to me too?:
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yes, and at first i liked her, but she was evil and her personaility was ruthless. ii did not like her anymore. PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT ONE, EVERYTHING ABOUT OTHER RACES IS NOT UGLY TO EVERYONE! AND TWO, THAT UGLINESS IS NOT BASED OFF OF FACES OR HOW SOMEHOW ALL ASIANS LOOK THE SAME! IT'S ABOUT PERSONALITY, DAMMIT! okay, maybe, i'm a little bit angry. holy fuck, man. omg, people just think so lowly of others. people don't think about how someone got their fame or how hard their lives are.
like, bts does not need everyone's hate. why do people feel the need to be mean to others and call asian men ugly because those men are trying to make a living? damn, just leave people alone and let them breathe. if you don't fucking like someone, go put a stick up your ass and mind your own damn business. you don't need to be on their case 24/7. if you don't like someone, keep that shit to yourself, you fucking asshole. at first, i was just mad at my girlfriend but now, i'm mad at everyone who bullies, cyberbullies, and haters.
like, get your bitch ass out of my face. that shit is so fucking annoying. like i said, when i'm angry, i'll cuss a bitch out. and i'm so fucking pissed off right now. holy fuck, why am i so mad, omg. i am soooo pissed off! let people be happy and let them be themselves! let people try to be there for people who are sad! how come when seven men come together and decide to spread the message that you should love yourself, people get mad? because they hate themselves, that's why.
why can't people just shut their stupid asses up and pay attention in school instead of trying to be mean to men who are smart and are rich and living life happily. at least, they try to be happy. at the end of the day, people don't realize that kpop idols are still people. they're not just dolls that can sing, rap, and dance. they have lives and emotions. like, why do people think that jimin is just some rag doll that people can throw around and talk shit about. like, no, you dipshit, i will not let you bully an innocent man.
so fucking what he has a high voice and he's affectionate? so fucking what that he is "feminine" in your eyes? maybe you're just fucking gay and you like to think of him as feminine and you want him to date you. why don't you stop being a shithead. i'd like to see you walk in their shoes for one day and see how you handle it. you wouldn't be as humble, would you? yep, i'm angry. i just looked ugh by bts. i'm so pissed off.
and you know what irritates me about people who actually like kpop? say there is a fan who liked bts since 2013. when they find a bts fan who just became a fan in 2019 or 2020 and they decide to rub it into their faces about how long they've been army. that shit is annoying. yes, i'm army but i'm not like that. army can be annoying as fuck. i fuck with some armys but sometimes they're just too much. they're extra and think they're all that just because they have more than 10,000 followers on twitter. it's so much for no reason. never did bts ever say to bully other army even if that army is a newer army.
THEN, you have people who don't like bts because of army. then army wants to wonder why people call them toxic. not all army's are toxic and bts is not toxic. but some army's are toxic as hell. but in the end, you shouldn't hate bts because they're fanbase is toxic. take that to army, not to bts. say that you don't like army but you have nothing against bts. and if you just don't like bts, good for you. nobody fucking asked. we all have different opinions. some people don't like bts because they're asian and speak a different language. bts is just trying to be themselves and love themselves. why do people have to be so fucking irritating.
i keep clenching my jaw and hands. holy shet, dude. i'm fucking big mad. damn~! also, whenever i vent and i say 'you' that doesn't mean you who is reading. it's for people in general who fit what i'm talking about. anyways. people who don't like bts because bts is korean and they speak korean and asian languages....that's basically racism in a form. lemme go eat food and see if i'm happier. yep, nope. i'm still angry. i need to go, omg. i'm so pissed off.
love yourself, be happy and drink water. stay healthy. bye~
- Alex
ns 18.68.41.177da2
