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Hello~! Omg, hi, my name is Syuga of the sky-people. Yep, folks, that there is how you know I am in love with the show 'The 100'. The show is so crazy. But anyways. I have some things to vent out. Okay, so, like I said before, I am not at home. So, there is me (who goes by Suga), Gorgeous, Bunny, and our newest girl, Jazzy at my placement. If you can keep a secret....I'll tell you that me and-- nah, I'm playing. I ain't finna tell my business like that. So, I need to vent about...mostly Bunny.
So, I once wrote on here that someone complains about their now boyfriend all the time and that I wanted him. Yeah, that was about Bunny and her boyfriend. But, that's not even the problem because if you think about it, I've never seen him, heard his voice, or met him. I liked him based off of the things Bunny told him so it wasn't really considered a "crush", feel me? So, I realized I didn't really like him, I was just....being a bad child and feigning for sex. Anyways, not gonna get into that. Uhm, so they've been dating for a second but I'm fine with it, to be honest. But that's not the thing.
Bunny has started to feel like I'm loving her as much anymore or spending time with her anymore, because I like someone. And, no, it's not her boyfriend. I actually call him appa because he is Korean and he told me to because me and Bunny are like sisters but she's like my mom at the same time? Does that even make sense? Welp, anyways. Back to Bunny. So, yesterday we had a meeting and just talked about stuff and she was sad because she got in trouble or something yesterday and basically went on the phone crying to her boyfriend, who I'll call Lion, since that's what his name means.
He gave advice to stop talking to me, Gorgeous, and Jazzy because we get her into to trouble and of course I didn't know what they were talking about because they were having an entire conversation in Korean. Benefits of having a Korean boyfriend, I guess? I think so. I dunno because I've never had a Korean boyfriend. Dammit. Okay, but anyways. So I got so fucking pissed off at him yesterday and I said, and I quote (idk how to spell quote...did i spell it right?), "Fuck him. I hate him, bye." Yes, I was pissed. Then I kept think about how Bunny was sitting less than a foot away from me.
And that pissed me off because she chose her boyfriend over us, or so I thought. I really don't even know what to believe anymore. So, since she was so close to me and I was cry while I was pissed off, I got up and rushed to the other side of the Annex (don't even ask what a Annex is because idek tbh) and sat over there with my sad, angry, hurt ass and cried while listening to BTS. Perfect mixture, my friend. I do that when I cry. I have to listen to BTS or I will actually lose my shit and go off the deep end. I did it when I found out my step-mom died, and I did it yesterday. Now that I think of it...I do that a lot. Go to BTS songs when I'm sad. But I listen to them in general but when I'm sad you will never here my listening to 'Not Today' like I am right now. Never.
So, I sat over there and cried like a little bitch. Then Bunny told Gorgeous and Gorgeous started crying and that made my baby back bitch ass cry even more. Jazzy wasn't with us right then so Bunny couldn't tell her. But Jazzy is the 'I don't Care' type of person so I highly doubt she'd give two fucks. So, I realized that for an accersory (i did not spell that right) yesterday, I was wearing Bunny's braclet. When I tell you I snatched that bitch off and threw it in the trash, I'm not lying. It's still in there. The fuck do I look like? I'm crazy.
Then I cried even more. Then Bunny came over and gave me a note. I didn't read it until I was on the phone with my worker crying like a little baby to her. I vented to my worker a lot. I feel like she's happy that I did too. Butg anyways. In the note she said some stuff and then said she wasn't going to be alive much longer. I told my worker right when I read those words that I had to go. I probably threatened Bunny for telling me that she was going to kill herself. In my head, I know for sure I was like, "I double dog dare this bitch to kill herself. Even if I am mad at her, I will not let her hurt herself."
Yed, so I cried a lot yesterday. Then the day before that I happened to be crying too. Dammit, why have I been so fucking emotional lately? What the hell is wrong with me and why does my eyes want to supply tears now? What's going on here? *cOnFuSiOn In LuNaRiAn* I cried yesterday because my mom was irritating me. Like, damn, last Friday when I talked to her, I heard some man's voice and I was like, who's voice could that be? HOW THE FUCK DID SHE GET FRIENDS IN THAT STATE SO FAST~!?!? I just found it weird. I don't trust her. Then I had a dream of her basically having sex with some man at the house I am at. Here where I'm at, we can't cuss or anything. But I was screaming and cussing and threatening to kill that man.
The reason I was so pissed off is because one, that shit is so disgusting. See your mom bascially have sex and hearing her? That's shit's gross. Second, my step-mom just died. That shit is so disrespectful and I hate it. I will kill anyone who dares date my mom right now or anytime soon. I don't wanna hear nothing or learn nothing about her having sex or dating anyone because I will stab them in their fucking neck and let them bleed out because I'm a psychopath and THAT SHIT IS SO DISRECPTFUL AND I WILL HATE MY MOM AFTER THAT~! Omg, it pisses me off even now. But that was on Friday. On Tuesday, my brother, my mom, my worker, my GAL, and me were on a Zoom call.
When I saw her get in a car and she wasn't driving that car, I got so pissed off. SOOOOO PISSED OFF! Cause who the fuck was driving? And then I rememeber my dream and my visual got angry. Everyone could tell I was angry except for my mom. So, my little brother started to wonder who it was too after I told him about my dream and how I felt. So he told my mom about how we were bothered by the fact that she wasn't driving and we wanted to know who was driving. And guess what? My mom's ass tried to go off on us. Hah, that's why her Wifi sucked and we didn't really anything. But I got the jist of what she was trying to say and it pissed me off.
I hung up on the Zoom call because I was so pissed off. I canceled me and my mom's call on Friday because I didn't want to talk to her. Because she's always talking about me needing to respect her. But who the hell do I look like? I know it's what my step-mom would've wanted but I just can't. My mom can't even trust me enough to tell which ugly motherfucker she's around. I mean, I wanted to know who it was because if it my cousin, I would've asked to say hi because I miss him. But noooo! So, I'm not going to trust her. She just makes me so fucking angry and I want to scream at her. She pisses me off so much. WHat I have to say to her is not going to be respectful so why say it all? I don't need her screaming at me when I'm trying to scream at her.
At this point, I don't even want to go home. I just wanna stay where I am or go to South Korea.
Me knocking on the door of South Korea: *ugly crying but also doing this while singing 'Let Me In'*542Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4FtqZhye8
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*puts on 'Dimple'*
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Okay, I think this is my last thing to vent about. I don't even remember what I was talking about. I lost my train of thought. OHHHHH! I remember! It's Bunny again. She always says everyone hates her, but I don't. She says, I'm abandoning her, but I'm not. She's starting to be annoying with that. As soon as I start liking someone or dating them, she feels left out or abandoned. This shit is crazy. Like, the jealousy in this house is fucking crazy. When I first got here, Bunny gravitated to me and Gorgeous got jealous. Jazzy came and I started to like her and now Bunny is jealous. This shit be blowing me. At this point, I'm done. But lemme shut up. What else do I have to say? I am going crazy, omg. Oh, I have one more thing to vent about. SCHOOL, OMG!
Yes, that is the topic for today. Okay, so I decided to hop on my school shit because I'm tryna go on a trip, my guy. So, I did 12 assignments and motherfuckers still said, "That's not enough. You can do better, I know you can." I hate that shit. When people make me seem like I'm more of the person I actually am. It's kind of annoying. I love my "grandmother" but I feel pressured. I don't like that shit. I feel like there is a heavy ass burden on me and everyone is going to be mad at me or disappointed.
I hate that shit. Then you got that one staff who smells like straight SHIT! When I say shit, I mean shit. And like sex at the same time. The point is, she stinks, bro. Then you have the one staff with a big ass forehead and I slapped her forehead. Like, damn, dude. Your head is big, what else do you want me to do? Like, holy shet. Woah, calm down, Jamal. Don't pull out the nine. But, yeah, I'ma go before I get even more pissed off then I already am and start venting again. Bye~!
- Alex <3
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